ZwiLife 36-40

ZwiLife

Chapter 36

ANDANI

I left Eugene in the kitchen and said I needed a bathroom. I got to the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror and wanted to cry. I couldn’t believe what Eugene did to me. I wanted to be angry at him so bad but I also didn’t want to push him away. I really couldn’t imagine this life without him…I couldn’t have another fatherless child, I just couldn’t. I took out my phone and called Tshililo…she picked up immediately

Tshili:” Andi” she said with a happy voice

Me:” I knew you were a slut but I never thought you could do this to me”

Tshili:” what?” she was shocked

Me:” the little kiss between you and Eugene, he told me about it”

Tshili:” oww he did? Then I am guessing that he also told you that I didn’t initiate the kiss then…it was all him, he initiated the whole thing and I am really sorry that it happened, it meant nothing”

Me:” really? You expect me to believe that? If it meant nothing as you put it then why didn’t you tell me? I trusted you Tshilio, I never thought that you’d try anything funny with my fiancée”

Tshili:” I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you stressing over nothing damn it! I didn’t want you acting all insecure because I know that feeling; I didn’t want you guys to fight over nothing. I mean what would I have achieved by telling you? Imagine if the news came from me and not him? How were you going to look at him? Ahg man Andani I have serious problems here than the stupid kiss that happened ages ago”

Andani:”I just want us to be clear on the fact that Eugene is mine and I won’t let you have your claws on him like you did with the Mudau brothers”

Tshili:” what? Are you hearing yourself? So I am the whore huh? It’s just that I don’t want him Andi and I have just lost a husband I love so much but the way you are carrying on makes me want to take him away from you” what?

Me:” what did you just say? Tshililo I know you are a hardcore and all that crap and I appear to be innocent and small to you but when it comes to what’s mine I do put up a fight. If I suspect anything between you and him then I promise you Tshililo…I will end you for him”

Tshili:” wow Andani focus on the pregnancy please… just leave me alone okay? Eugene doesn’t love me, not at all. he loves you like really loves you and you should have seen how sorry he looked after the kiss so stop causing yourself an unnecessary stress on your pregnancy please” she said that and hung up…I threw the phone against the wall and cried. Eugene opened the door and walked in…he stood at the door and looked at me as I sob. He walked to me and hugged me but I pushed him away

Me:” after everything we’ve been through you go out there and did this? You know how I feel about being cheated on Eugene” I said while crying

Gee:” but I told you it was a mistake and you said you believed me”

Me:” I lied Dammit? Nothing is okay, nothing will ever be okay…you ruined everything. I am sitting here pointing fingers at Tshililo but it’s all you…first it was Katlego, you kissed her on my presence remember? Who the f*** are you?” Eugene just looked at me and breathed and that’s when his phone rang

Gee:” gotta take this” he walked out of the bathroom…he checked his phone and it was Tshililo

TSHILILO

I couldn’t believe the nerve that Andani had though. Yes the kiss was wrong but there was no need for her to act the way she did, it was really uncalled for. I sat down the and smiled thinking about what I could have done if she had done the same with my Thembu while he was still alive…God I would have drove all the way to Cape Town just to give her a piece of my mind. I shook my head and felt the pain taking over. Was it ever going to get better? I took out my phone and called Eugene…how in a world does he make me promise not to do something and he go out there and do the other…I was pissed at him than I was at Andani…if he knew that he was going to tell her then he should have at least given me the heads up. His phone didn’t ring for too long until he picks up.

Gee:” hello”

Me:” so much for ‘don’t breathe a word about this’ huh? Like a fool I believed you…how could you be that stupid?”

Gee:” need I remind you that I am not your friend? You don’t get to call me stupid at all or scold me like that okay? Andani is the only one allowed to talk to me with that tone so now let’s start again politely this time around…what were you saying?” God I laughed shame…the nerve that this nigga had was bigger than Zuma’s stubbornness serious

Me:” wow you really are full of s*** do you know that? Just like your fiancée. I am sitting here in peace trying to forget the fact that I just lost the love of my life and boom Andani is calling me with the news”

Gee:” again you don’t get to talk to me like that Tshililo, not on my phone” hevhanna! What the hell? Was this the same Eugene that was ready to go out there and risk getting killed for me? What happened? Owww madam was pissed, so that’s why he was like this?

Me:” you must really love her neh? To think that just the other day you were here sounding all concerned and wanting to risk your life for me. Anyway I want you to stay away from me…don’t ever come near me and for future business dealings, Ndivhuwo is your man. Just politely ask your girl not to ever call me again and next time if you are ever going to confess about something you vowed not to disclose then you better give me the heads up”

Gee:” there won’t be another secret…I promise you that much”

Me:” good, so the introduction up there…what was that? Were you trying to be funny? Because you sure were funny” he laughed…mhm so I made him laugh? Okay

Gee:” you are really strange Tshililo…keep well and be better…I gotta sort things out with my fiancée”

Me:” good luck and don’t go around kissing girls again” and he hung up

I breathed and looked around. The house was awfully quiet now. The kids went to school and it was just me, Ndivhuwo, Xolani and Zoleka. My father in law went back to work…he was trying to get his mind off things so it was understandable, people deal with things differently, imagine losing your wife and your first born son all at once…God it must be awful. Rendani and Thendo went back to school. Even though we wanted them to remain at home…we had no choice but to let them go back to school so that they don’t fall behind on their studies. We had people taking care of Rendi’s child as well as Bonita’s. Although Zoleka and I were doing our best taking care of the kids, we needed help. We also had someone taking care of the house. It was the same house keeper that was helping mom around. My mom left for home just yesterday, she did her best to be there for me. My sister left as well…they still couldn’t believe that Thembuluwo was gone, I couldn’t believe it too.

Xolani and his wife left the house in the morning and said they were going somewhere, I didn’t really pay attention. I sat in my room after they left; I was trying to avoid Ndivhuwo. I had Nndwakhulu with me…just like TJ, this boy reminded me so much of Thembuluwo. With the phone call that Andani gave me, I had to talk to Ndivhuwo about the kiss, I rather he hears about it from me and not from someone else or from Andani herself. I took Nndwa and walked out of the bedroom. I gave him to one of the nanny’s and walked outside. Ndivhuwo was standing in the garden with his hands folded on his chest and looking at the fence. Well it was weird but then again, Ndivhuwo had always been weird. I walked to him

Me:” hi” I stood infront of him and he looked at me with his straight face on

Ndiv:” hi”

Me:”we needto talk”

Ndiv:” okay”

Me:” we might want to sit down for this talk”

Ndiv:” I don’t think that’s necessary…what could be that bad?”

Me:” remember when I went to Cape Town to seek help from Eugene because you and Thembu couldn’t believe me?”

Ndiv:” you don’t have to remind me” he frowned

Me” something happened while I was there…a kiss happened” he looked at me as if he didn’t hear me clearly

Ndiv:” come again?”

Me:” he kissed me after we shared a hug but he apologised and said it means nothing which is true by the way” I stood there and looked at him with a smile on my face, I wanted to lighten up the mood

Me:” I am only telling you because I don’t want you finding out about this from someone else not because we have a thing going on” well that was true. I felt that it was better for Ndivhuwo to hear about the kiss from me so that I can be able to calm him down if he explodes because I really didn’t want anymore blood shed

Me:” so yeah it was a mistake kiss” he just stood there looked at me and said nothing…I just smiled nervously looking at him

Me:” well I hope that your silence means that you understand what I just said and that you won’t do anything stupid” I said that and tried to walk past him but he put his hand on my shoulder and stopped me

Ndiv:” did you kiss him back?” his voice was very calm

Me:” no I didn’t” lying never killed anyone, I had to lie here…even though I don’t understand why I had to lie because Ndivhuwo wasn’t my husband …but I guess it was to keep the peace

Ndiv:” okay” he said that and started walking towards the garage…I ran after him

Me:” Ndivhuwo”

Ndiv:” what!” he snapped…he got there and opened the door of his car

Me:” where the hell are you going now?”

Ndiv:” to talk to Eugene” talk? Who was he kidding? Ndivhuwo talking at this state? He was doing that thing he loved the most…acting like he was fine when he wasnt…he was going over there and take everything out on Eugene

Me:” if this is about the kiss then you need to grow up and stop acting like a child. I am not your wife Ndivhuwo so you can’t drive around fighting every man that tries to touch me so stop it” I hissed at him with my angry low voice

Ndiv:” this is really not about that…how dare he disrespect my brother like that? Thembu was still alive when it happened and he knew you were married and we welcomed that bustard into our family and this is how he repays us?”

Me:” for a second stop thinking that everything can be resolved by a gun or a fight okay? Thembu and mom are gone because of this so just stop it…we don’t want more enemies, that’s the last thing we need and Eugene is better off as our ally” he looked at me and stood against his car and folded his hands on his chest

Ndiv:” how are you feeling?” well I didn’t expect him to ask me that…but Ndivhuwo was unpredictable like that

Me:” promise me you won’t go after him…if anything happens we need him…remember what happened last time? How he saved us?”

Ndiv:” I get it…it’s not like you wanted him to kiss you right?”

Me:” even if I did it’s not something that we should be discussing” he looked at me with his eyes wide open

Me:” damn Ndivhuwo I didn’t, I just don’t want you feeling like I owe you an explanation or something like that” He nodded

Ndic:” so how are you?” I folded my hands on my chest

Me:” I miss him terribly…it’s a feeling I can’t explain Ndivhuwo. Last time when he got arrested I felt something close to this but there was always hope you know…I knew that one day he’ll come back to me and our son but right now I know he won’t…I will never ever see Thembuluwo again” I said that and my eyes got teary

Ndiv:” I am sorry”

Me:” I don’t even know what to do”

Ndiv:” I am here for you” I shook my head

Me:” I don’t want you to be” I said in a slow weak voice

Ndiv:” but why?”

Me:” because I just lost a husband and I don’t think you’ll ever understand that and no matter how hard you may try Ndivhuwo you will never replace him…no one can” that was bitter truth but it was the truth…no one could ever be what Thembu was to me

Ndi:” wow” he blinked several times

Me:” I am sorry but I don’t want to keep leading you on like I did in the past…I have to set the record straight here Ndivhuwo…I am way too damaged to want to be with anyone…yes I am only 27 but gosh I feel like I am 55…life has beaten me up so hard I can’t even recognise myself, I don’t even know who I am anymore”

Ndiv:” But I…I really don’t want more I promise…I can’t handle more too you know…after you and Katherine I just want to be there for you…I will sleep better knowing that I am someone you can count on” I looked at him and blinked off the tears

Me:” it’s about time I start counting on myself…you deserve someone to love you”

Ndiv:” wow”

Me:” I can’t believe that we are even having this conversation a week after my husband’s funeral. I should be mourning in peace right now…not doing this with you”

Ndiv:” okay so does this mean that I should stop hoping that after a year or two or three you’d be ready for me?” his voice carried with it lot of pain

Me:” yes, I want you to be happy and I am not that happiness for you”

Ndiv:” how do you expect me to start knowing someone new after you and after Katherine? I am willing to wait years for you Tshililo….i am just as much damaged as you are and I am the only person who can understand you and you are also the only one who can understand how damaged I am…we can’t be happy separately. I for one can’t even look at anyone else right now…I don’t trust anyone else, I am never going to trust that anyone can love me for me ever again…you are the only one I can trust…yes I am not your number one I know that but I am willing to settle for whatever you have to offer” I shook my head realising the pain and self-doubt he had

Me:” it’s not going to happen, I can’t disrespect Thembuluwo like that Ndivhuwo, show him a little respect please” he shook his head and got inside his car

Me:” and don’t go to Eugene please…maybe you should go back to the garden don’t you think? You are not in the right state of mind Ndivhu”

Ndiv:” I am fine….i wasn’t asking for you to start dating me right away you know…I was willing to wait years but you don’t even want me to do that” he said through gritted teeth and started the car

Me:” you aint gonn work on the revenge are you?” I said with my voice trembling…he gave me his evil smile

Ndiv:” your husband is about to smile from his grave knowing  that the people who ended him are paying and also because you are still a faithful loyal wife you’ve always been to him…Ndivhuwo the boss is back…thank you for activating him” his eyes changed and he looked scary even for me

Me:” Ndivhuwo don’t leave” I said almost crying…either people were going to be mercilessly murdered or he was going to get himself killed

Ndiv:” too late love” he said that and reversed out of the garage and out of the gate and I heard the Ferrari making a noise as it drove away

ZwiLife

Chapter 37

NDIVHUWO

I drove out of the house and felt somuch pain; it was the kind of pain I couldn’t even explain. I didn’t know that a person can feel so much distress…I thought I had felt it all but I couldn’t explain this. There was a never-ending despair coupled with guilt and the feeling of sheer loneliness. I wanted to turn around and go back to her and tell her a peace of my mind just to hurt her the same way I was hurting but I didn’t have it in me to do that. Maybe she said all those things because we just buried my brother so she was still mourning and I needed to give her time right? I drove along the streets of Thohoyandou Block G without even looking on the road. My mind was working faster than I could even try to catch up. I had to forget about Tshililo right? But how do I do that? There was this emptiness inside of me? It’s the same one that Rolivhuwa left when he died on me, the same one that Tshililo left when she chose Thembu over me again and again and again. It was the same one that I felt after I realised the kind of betrayal that Katherine had done…I had been fucking that b*** for months and I had no problem with it, I didn’t even want to get to know her and I was so focused on f*****g her that I failed to know the kind of person she was. How do I start trusting people after that? The only time I decided to actually live and be normal and stop looking behind my shoulder was the same time that I ruined everything. My quest at normal life caused me two lives and my happiness along with it and a little bit of humanity I still had inside of me.

I thought about my daughter Rotondwa as I was driving away. I had to see her before this…even though I trusted myself; I couldn’t leave without seeing her. She was the only source of hope I had right now and I needed every little hope that maybe I still had something to live for. She was the only thing I had inside of my heart…the only person I believed wouldn’t hurt me; she was the only one I could trust. I drove to her school and parked my car outside the gate. I sat there for a while trying to bring the normal me back…I couldn’t go in there with my eyes red and the veins in my forehead popping out and my jaw tightened. I sat there for a while and when I felt better I got out of my car. My phone was ringing none-stop and I figured that it was Tshililo so I tossed it inside the car and left it there. I walked inside the school and went to the offices. I got there and asked for her, they were reluctant at first but I told them I was going away on business and I didn’t want her to find out when she gets back from school that I am gone and that I wanted to say goodbye. Some of the teachers knew me because I had attended few parents meetings while I was around so there was no issue around who I was. I sat there and waited for a while until I saw my daughter walking inside the office where I was waiting. I thanked the teacher and took her hand and we walked outside.

Rotondwa:” is something wrong?” I forced a smile

Me:” no baby” I said that caressing her hair

Rotondwa:” uhm okay”

Me:” I am leaving for few days though” her face fell

Roto:” again?” she looked sad

Me:” I am sorry Roto but daddy has to work okay? Otherwise I won’t even afford this school if I don’t work”

Roto:” but I miss you when you are gone” I smiled and hugged her

Me:” I know”

Roto:” I miss mommy too”

Me:” you’ll go visit mommy during school holidays, we already discussed that”

Roto:” okay”

Me:” now smile for me” I looked at her and she looked at me and smiled

Me:” daddy love you okay? Don’t ever forget that Rotondwa…aunt Tshili and Zoleka will take care of you”

Roto:” okay”

Me:” now go back to your class” she waved her hand at me and then ran back to her class.

I looked at my 9 years old and shook my head smiling…Roli should have been here to see her growing up. Looking at her as she run to her class, I knew I was looking at someone who will always be a part of me. Unlike other relationships I had, what I shared with her was something that could never come to an end. I was going to remain her dad no matter what and she was to be my daughter no matter what. Seeing my daughter was the only thing I needed to carry me through what I was planning to do. I turned around and went to my car. I got there and sat inside the car for a while. I took out my phone and booked the flight leaving for Kenya tomorrow…the game was about to finally begin. I looked at the school and knew that I had to make it out alive for my daughter. I wasn’t even going to need Eugene or Xolani or anyone for this…I was going to do this alone, just like how I used to do it in the past. Taking a team of people was only going to cause unnecessary attention but if I do this alone, no one was going to see me coming…they weren’t expecting me to come alone. i started my car and drove off.

I got to George in the early hours of the morning. I drove straight to my farm house. I got there and walked straight to my computer room. Katherine was never going to know what hit her. I hadn’t forgotten about Jug or Daddy but Katherine was my priority for now. I’d sleep better and plan all my next moves knowing that she’s been dealt with. I took out the laptop that contained everything I needed and put it in my bag. I sat on the chair and thought about my brother.Do one ever forget their twin after he/she passed on? because I was finding it hard to forget about mine…I guess the same can be said about first loves…Tshililo was mine and damn I was still star struck bruh…I couldn’t leave that girl alone no matter how hard I try…no wonder Rolivhuwa hated me when I was with her. I smiled and took a nap right on that chair…tomorrow was seriously going to be a long day and I needed all the rest I needed. My phone kept ringing the whole time and I wondered if Tshililo wasn’t even sleeping.

I couldn’t even nap because of the phone so I finally picked up

Me:” the f*** is this huh? You’ve been calling me since I left the house and its 3am right now”

Tshili:” owww thank God you are okay” she breathed

Me:” is that why you’ve been blowing my phone up?”

Tshili:” what are you up to? I am worried okay? We just lost Thembuluwo, the family can’t handle losing you too Ndivhuwo…if its revenge you want then come back home and we will plan this like a family, all of us okay? Xolani and I will help, just don’t do this on your own” she was panicking…see? She still cared

Me:” I am not planning on revenge so you can relax, I just need some time alone”

Tshili:” I am not dumb Ndivhuwo, Rotondwa told me that you went to her school today and you told her that you were leaving…why would you go to her school to say goodbye if you knew you’ll be back safely…Ndivhuwo I will hate you more than I hate Thembuluwo for leaving me…you can’t all just leave me” she cried…and f*** my heart broke

Me:” I won’t leave Tshililo” I said in a calm voice

Tshili:” Thembuluwo used to say the same…where is he now? I know I said we can never be and I think I meant that but that doesn’t mean that you should go on a suicide mission…I can’t live with the guilt and I definitely can’t take care of all the kids alone…Ndivhuwo think about this” I went silent and let my tears fall…why was life so hard on us huh?

Tshili:” I am in pain, I lost a husband and I can’t be thinking about moving on already, can’t you understand that? please don’t do anything stupid because I said I don’t want you and maybe I was a little bit too harsh and I am sorry…you can be there for me if you want to…just don’t die and don’t expect anything more”

Me:” I won’t die Tshili and I am definitely not a child, you don’t have to sweet talk me so that I can do what you want…I won’t die”

Tshili:” I am not swee-“

Me:” you’re confused and in pain and you miss him and you feel guilty and you want to hate me…I get all of that now…I am giving you time to figure yourself out, I figured it will all be easy without me around so relax, I am not going on a killing spree okay? Take care of the kids” and I hung up.

I sat there and breathed. I know I lied to her but I had to lie in order to stop her from worrying…if I told her the truth she’d definitely follow me…Tshililo was stubborn and selfless like that. My flight was leaving at 10 in the morning.

I woke up around 6 and switched my computers on. I contacted Rohan who was also a computer geek…I asked him to keep tabs on Katherine for me after Katherine left the country because I was busy with funeral arrangements. We skyped and I asked him about her whereabouts and he told me that he did everything I had instructed to do. Just like how I made my way into the Mudau’s and Svig’s lives when I started knowing them…I had videos planted at Katherine’s hotel room as well as Daddy’s. Jug was from Nigeria so I was letting him breathe for a while. This was the game I loved the most and I was so going to enjoy it. Rohan gave me access to Videos in Katherine and Daddy’s places and I got the glimpse of their so called homes. I looked at Katherine’s hotel and she looked all chilled out…I looked at her as she was sitting in the lounge with some gentleman and I felt like breaking the screen…this girl was going to pay the hard way.

I finally left the house and went to the airport. I was traveling as Roli and not Ndivhuwo. Yes Roli was still not declared dead and even though I was considering reporting him as a lost person so that his body may be found and we can have a proper burial for him…I was now having second thoughts, I could hold off on that process for a while because it seemed like I was still on the game. Yes it bugged me to know that I didn’t give my brother a proper burial and that he had no death certificate but Roli was a soldier and I was sure that he’ll want me to keep things as they are just to ensure my safety…he loved me that much. I wore my cap and a hooded jersey and I made sure that I covered most of my face. I knew where the cameras at the airport were because I have access to them remember? I knew where they were facing at every corner so I made sure not to look directly into them and to hide my face. I finally boarded the flight and made my way to my seat. The flight took me about 16 hours and then I finally landed at kenyata.

I knew were Katherine was staying. So i went to the hotel I booked and I got there and switched my laptop on and checked out Katherine. She was staying in a hotel. It was around three in the morning so I decided to pay her a visit. She was alone in the hotel room. I guess that she felt that I wouldn’t follow them this sooner or that I wouldn’t find them. The room close to hers was occupied by some of her guys; I guess they were there to keep her safe. I drove to the hotel and parked my car at the drive way. I looked around before getting out of the car. I was still wearing my hooded Jersey. I took two loaded guns and put them inside the pockets of my jersey. I walked to the fancy hotel and smiled at the receptionist looking all drunk and then walked past. I wanted to look like a drunk guest who was staying in the hotel and who stayed out late so that I wouldn’t be suspicious. I went to the room next to hers and knocked…I waited for few seconds until someone opened…the guy looked all sleepy and I took him out just like that…the machines had silencers so I wasn’t going to cause an unnecessary attention. I pushed him inside and found three more guys sleeping…I shot them all several times and then closed their door and went to Katherine’s. I got to her hotel room and knocked on the door…there was no answer but I knocked again…after the 3^rd knock she opened

Katherine:” next time you wa-“ she stopped talking and looked at me in shock

Me:” hello momma” I smiled…she started panicking right away

Katherine:” what the hell are y-“ she quickly ran to her bedside table and pressed on a strange button…I don’t know what the button was for but I knew that it was either to alert her guys that she was in danger or to call on the hotel security. I ran to her and held her by the neck

Me:” you thought you could hide from me?” I was looking straight in her eyes

Katherine:” you started this, you killed my family” she cried out…I smiled

Me:” and I am about to kill you” I grabbed her by the neck and squeezed on her

Me:” you are going to call whoever you’ve just alerted and tell them it’s false alarm or I’ll break your bones one by one before they get here and if you think I am afraid to die in their hands then you don’t know me very well” I let go of her neck. I wasn’t sure that she was alerting the guys next door, if it was them then I was safe but if its someone else I could be busted so I had to think fast

Katherine:” I won’t” I smiled

Me:” remember mom and dad? The parents who raised you and your siblings? I can have them killed right now” she started crying right away

Katherine:” but you started this”

Me:” and it doesn’t end until I say so” she took out her phone with her hands shaking

Me:” don’t forget to sound sleepy and casual okay? A phonecall is all it could take” I was bluffing about having her family surrounded but I figured that I should threaten her with something. She made a phone call

Katherine:” they are not picking up” I smiled, so it was the guys next door

Me:” if it’s the guys next door then I took care of them”

Katherine:” what?” I smiled

Me:” I can’t believe that I am standing here with you feeling what I am feeling? I feel like I’ve been downgraded, when did young girls like you become my match? It doesn’t even feel right but hey I guess life us just not right….you are coming with me”

Katherine:” you killed my family and I killed yours, we are even now” I smiled

Me:” not until I see you suffer to my satisfaction…I will torture you until the satisfaction of watching you scream in pain surpasses the pain of losing my family...that’s how long I plann on torturing you and then…and then I will kill you” I pulled her and walked out of the hotel room

Me:” one scream or even an indication that you are trying to give the receptionist or the security a hint and I will end you right on the spot and then end your whole family. I am capable of doing something like that…you should ask your dead father, brother and their crew” I said that with my jaws tightened.

We walked out of the building and went to my car. I put her on the boot and drove off to some Nature reserve…I drove off the tar road and to the gravel road and all the way up the mountain. I had hired a 4x4 because I knew it was going to come in handy. It was morning by the time I reached the mountain. It was cloudy and misty and drizzling outside. I took out a rope from the car and then went to the back of the car and opened the boot. I tied her up and then carried her out of the car

Katherine:” where are we? Ndivhuwo where is this place huh?” she was looking around with her eyes wide open

Me:” somewhere for you to die” I tied her to a tree and stood from a distance and looked at her. I went to the car and took out massive knife

Katherine:” Ndivhuwo what are you doing? Wh…wh…what are you going to do to me?” she cried

Me:” we are going to play a game” I wanted to just cut her throat and get it over with but that was going to be way too easy and she didn’t deserve easy

Katehring:” you know what? Kill me already? Or torture me so that I can bleed to death along with your child” I stopped looking at the knife and then looked straight at her

Me:’ what?” the world came to a standstill

Katherine:” I needed an insurance and this is it…I wasn’t sure if the plan was going to work so I had to do something to keep me alive and having your baby was the way to go” she said that looking all desperate…I frowned and looked at her shaking my head

Katherine:” Daddy don’t even know about this but I needed to make sure that you’ll keep me alive so I stopped contraceptives, just in case the plan go wrong” I looked at her and just blinked…yeah we didn’t use condoms at times because we went on regular check-ups together …f***

Me:” how do I know that you are really pregnant? How do I know that you are not bluffing?” I shouted

Katherine:” don’t tell me that the last time we had sex you didn’t feel the change in my breasts…well maybe the changes weren’t that much visible but come and check my boobs out Ndivhuwo…come and touch here…at the lower part of my tummy it’s hard because I am pregnant with your baby” I stood there and swallowed. I slowly walked to her with my eyes not leaving hers. I pulled her top up and looked at her boobs, they sure looked a bit bigger…I touched them and I could feel the difference….i then went down to her stomach and touched the lower part of it and yes it was hard

Katherine:”you can check my nails too…they are pure white” she was desperate for me to believe her. I slowly moved away from her

Katherine:” so it’s either you let me live for nine months until I give birth during which you’ll learn to forgive me and we can have this baby and figure out a way to parent him or her or…or you can kill me now and later find out that I was really pregnant and you’ll have one more death on your head…decision…decision”

Me:” we don’t even know that its mine” I roared

Katherine:” kill me and you can do the tests later…you’ll be happy to know that it was yours” she smiled a wicked smile

ZWI A PENGA – LIFE AS WE KNOW IT

Chapter 38

Me:’ so, how far are you?” I looked at her with nothing but hate

Kate:” just two weeks, going on three now” I returned her a wicked smile

Me:” then I better start having fun now…I am sure a little pain here and there won’t affect my baby…listen to how creepy that sounds…you carrying my baby? I will make sure that you don’t lose the baby Katherine and if by any chance you lose him/her… I will subject you to so much pain you’ll beg me to kill you” I said that and walked to my car

Katherine:” what? Ndivhuwo you can’t hurt me like that…I am pregnant” I ignored her and looked through the boot of the car and took out a hummer and plier and slowly walked to her. Well the pregnancy news meant that I had to change my plans, I couldn’t kill her or cut her piece by piece like I planned on doing…I was not sure about what I was about to do though but I knew for a fact that I’d go crazy if I don’t see this girl screaming in pain. I wanted to just sit and see her in pain…maybe that was going to make me feel better.

Katherine:” ow my God what are you going to do to me?” I smiled

Me:” the nerve you have is beyond me…you killed and terrorised my family and somehow you expected to just tell me that you are pregnant and then I’ll bow down to you and all will be forgiven? Woman you are about to have the worst nine month of your life and after that I won’t kill you immediately, you deserve something worse than death. You’ll get to see me raise your child, I will get him or her a new mom…possibly Tshililo and I will keep you caged up for as long as I feel that you’ve suffered enough. You won’t get to hold that baby in your hands…not ever so if you thought that having my baby is your ticket to saving yourself then you’ve just condemn yourself to hell. I wanted to kill you…death would have been an easy escape for you but seeing how conniving you are then I’ve discovered that you deserve something worse than the actual death”

Katherine:” Ndivhuwo you are forgetting that you started all this…you killed my family what was I supposed to do?’ she cried

Me:” I don’t fucking know but you weren’t supposed to come after my family and lie to me and then decide to have my child. Katherine you’ll pay for that too and this child better be mine because if that’s not the case then this will add to the list of offences you have towards me and believe me I’ll show you how merciless I can be. I will rip that baby out of your womb while you blink Katherine…I will feed that foetus to your mouth and then make sure that you don’t bleed to death so that you can go few months hating yourself for killing your baby…so tell me now…is it mine?” I was honestly hoping that she’d say no…that would make things easy for me and for both of us. Imagine me having a baby with her? Or just having a baby at all…I mean I never planned on having another child any time soon. And if the baby was not mine then I could just kill her and get it over with

Katherine:” I am really not lying…this child is a Mudau” I swallowed and then walked to her with the two objects on my hands…I was literally shaking, I hated this b*** with every fibre of my bone. I wanted to strangle her and look at her as she dies but I couldn’t do it, not with the baby shenanigan

Katherine:” please don’t do this to me…I am sorry for everything please” she screamed. I pretended not to hear her

Katherine:” help! Somebody help! Please help!” she screamed

Me:” that’s not really going to help you in anyway…no one can hear you from here”

She head tears all over her face. I knew that I had to be careful when doing this…I couldn’t hurt the baby, not before finding out if its mine or not.The thought of having a child with this woman was driving me insane…I hated her for trapping me like this. I took her hands and clipped two of them with a plier and I looked away and listened to her voice as she screams for her dear life. it didn’t get to me…not at all…it didn’t affect me at all, I didn’t feel sorry for her…if anything I felt that I just wanted her to suffer more. Even though Thembu and I fought at times, I didn’t want to lose him, Tshililo didn’t deserve to lose him…his kids didn’t deserve to lose him as for mom…the whole family still needed her, we didn’t deserve to lose that woman, not at all. I stopped and looked at her and what I saw was my enemy…an enemy that deserved to suffer and then die. It was taking everything in me not to snap her neck and kill her

Katherine:” please Ndivhuwo don’t do this please”

Me:” the more you beg the more I want to see you suffer” I was going to make sure that she suffers without putting the baby in danger. She screamed and cried and called out my name several times but I pretended like I couldn’t hear her. I went to the other hand and did the same thing with a plier…when I was done I went to her ears and did then same thing. Her screaming still did nothing to me. I hated what I was doing…the she devil deserved something worse than this…why did she have to be pregnant?

Ketherine:” I will give you anything you want…whatever amount of money I can give it to you or a business line or Daddy on a silver platter just don’t do this to me anymore, I really don’t want to lose the baby” I laughed out loud

Me:” and here I was thinking that you were a tough cookie but I was wrong” I said that and took a hummer and beat up her feet with it…the funniest part is that she couldn’t run or move…she was tied to a tree. I beat her feet against the ground until they were seriously swollen and it looked like the bones had broken. My plan was for her to never walk again or be able to use her hands…at least if she was like that I would be able to keep her in a house for nine months until she delivers. I shook my head as I thought about the baby that’s on the way.

Katherine:” I hate you and I swear to God you’ll pay for this…they will come looking for me and you’ll be their next stop once they realise that I am gone” she said as tears and sweat were all over her face…she couldn’t stand up straight by now because her feet were out of it. She was right though; Daddy was going to come for me once he discovered that she was gone. I was not sure what to do now…do I leave the country with her and ensure that she is safe and wait for Daddy to attack? Or I go to him all by myself and take my chance? I shook my head and looked at Katherine

Me:” it’s a pity I can’t do anything to your upper body...i wanted to leave you unrecognisable but I guess a little is better than nothing” I said that and turned around from her and walked a little distance and made a call

“Ndiv”

Me:” hey I have a question here”

“Shoot”

Me:” that drug you gave me…is it friendly to a foetus? Can I use it to someone who is pregnant?”

“Yeah its totally fine”

Me:” you do know that I’ll kill you if it doesn’t work right?”

“I mean it. It’s no problem…why would you want a pregnant woman to be unconscious for that long though?”

Me:” your job is done here…I will pay you a visit if this doesn’t work and it won’t really be a friendly one”

“Stop with the threats” I hung up and breathed. Tshililo and Xolani were going to be super pissed when they find out about this…they were not going to be happy at all…this was going to kill them but they’ll have to understand…if that was my baby in there then regardless of the situation…that child also deserved a chance to live

ANDANI

After the call Eugene came back and found me standing in the middle of the bathroom still with tears in my eyes. He stood at the door and looked at me

Gee:” I know the kiss was inappropriate and I had done the same thing with Katlego too but Andani they all meant nothing I promise you. With Katlego I was confused because I just lost my sister and with Tshililo I was overwhelmed by her strength and how far she was willing to go for that family…that’s just it”

Me:” so I am too weak?” I asked truthfully…I mean Katlego was also a strong woman who worked with Eugene on the business and Tshililo was just another strong cookie but what was i? I couldn’t even handle this life. He shook his head and put his hands on his head in frustration and then looked at me again. He walked to me and I walked backward

Me:” don’t come near me” I said with my lips trembling

Gee:” I am coming” he said with a frown

Me:” Eugene don’t” I screamed but he ignored me

Gee:” I am sorry but I am not going to let you think what you are thinking” he got to me and carried me as I try to fight him to no avail. He held me in his arms and I wrapped my legs around him

Gee:’ cupcake?” he tried to look at me but I rested my head on his arm and didn’t want to look at him. He walked out of the bathroom and to our bedroom. He went to the sliding door and opened it and went to stand outside with me in his arms. I loved the scent of fresh air and how the fresh breeze felt against my skin

Gee:’ you feel that?” I didn’t say anything

Gee:” that’s how you make me feel Andani.  Maybe lately things have been hectic and blurry between us because of my sister’s death and my reaction to it but you are a breath of fresh air to me. You still are and always will be. Do you remember when I called you in the middle of the night while you were with the Vhadaus? I was crying and couldn’t sleep and you sang for me and calmed me down. Do you think that Katlego can do that for me? Or Tshilio? Or anyone one else for that matter? You have keys to my heart Andani…keys to places that no one has ever been. You know me, like really know me. I told you everything about me, every little detail about me and what does the whole world know? they just know the external shell that’s my body but you know my deep darkest secrets, you know my fears, you know my vulnerable moments, you know my embarrassing moments…you know everything about me and I let you into my world because I knew that you are all that I want, I really love you and only you” I held him tighter

Me:’ I still don’t get why you’d kiss her in our house” I said in a low tone

Gee:” I didn’t have a normal childhood and you know that…Katlego is the first girl I dated…and then came you. There has been few other women whom I have fucked over the years but they meant nothing…what I am trying to get at is I didn’t do much dating… Katlego is my first girlfriend and Tshililo is…well I think for those few seconds I wanted to experiment something….i really can’t explain why it happened, I can’t give you a specific reason because there is none. All I can tell you is that she is not a competition” well, that wasn’t enough for me…not after the saga i went through with Ria. I pushed his shoulders back so that he can put me down

Gee:” don’t”

Me:” put me down”

Gee:” cupcake don’t”

Me:” just put me down” I shouted. He put me down and I opened the sliding door and walked inside the room and he followed me

Me:”feel that? This is what you make me feel” he looked at me in confusion

Gee:’ what?”

Me:” suffocated and unable to breathe or to live freely…that fresh breeze outside of this room? That’s just a dream to me now. I have thrown everything away for you. Look at where my son is? I am here baby-sitting you instead of being a mother to my fatherless son, and my best friend? You ruined our friendship and my son? He doesn’t have a father because of you and I will have to lie to him for the rest of my life when he asks about his father. I’ve been with you through thick and thin. I’ve been with you when you were shaking and needing to spill blood, I’ve been there through it all making sure that you dont relapse and that you get better but  you always treat me like a prisoner…like all I have to do is follow your instructions….i am tired Eugene. I don’t even remember what normal feels like anymore. I miss going to the beach, chilling at a restaurant, you going to work, hang out and just be normal” I said that and head for the door with tears in my face

Gee:’ where the f*** do you think you are going?” he roared. I turned around and looked at him

Me:” I don’t know, I just want to be away from you”

Gee:” what does that even mean?” there was fear on his voice

Me:” it means I am fed up” he ran to me and grabbed my hand

Gee:” don’t do this”

Me;” we tried” tears started coming out of his eyes

Gee:” cupcake don’t”

Me:” we really tried but I am tired...i just want to go home and be normal again…this is not for me…you can have Tshililo or Katlego…you like them strong but I am not strong and I am never going to be strong”

Gee:” but I don’t f*****g want them…I only want you, only you”

Me:” well I don’t want you” I was about to turn around when he held my hand tight with both his hands and went down on his knees

Gee:” you can’t leave Andani, you just can’t leave please I am begging you…I will do anything to make you stay just don’t leave me”

Me:” anything?” my heart was beating faster. I loved us better when we were still in our own little protected bubble but now that we were out there and meeting new friends? I was scared of losing him

Gee:” yes please as long as you stay”

Me:” I want Tshililo dead” his eyes shot open and he looked really shocked

ZwiLife

Chapter 39

Gee:” okay I am just going to sit here and pretend that you didn’t just said that cupcake…the hormones are taking the better of you so I understand”

Me:” hormones my foot…I mean and understand what I just said…erase her and I can gladly be yours again. I don’t buy the story about you not feeling anything for her. It all makes sense right now. How you were concerned for her when Thembu died, you even went to see her without me…you might not love her but you do feel something for her and you know it too” he got up and looked at me and then smiled and then pulled a straight face

Gee:” that family is going through a lot and you know it, killing her will just add salt to the wound, I thought you liked them”

Me:” that was before I found out that you love her…I want her gone Eugene” I walked out of the door and he followed me and yanked me around so that I may look at him

Gee:” I am not going to do it” his face was now changing

Me:” you didn’t have a problem killing Katlego when I requested it and now that it’s your majesty Tshililo we have a problem? Killing the threat is what we do remember? You almost killed Jake just because he liked me knowing full well that I didn’t like him back and with Tshililo I am certain you like her”

Gee” I don’t” he shouted

Me:” then kill her!” I screamed

Gee:” are you serious? She has two fatherless kids to take care of…how do you expect me to just take her away from them after losing their father and their grandmother?”

Me:” the same way you managed to take my son’s father away from him and the exact same way you were prepared to take Katlego away from her child” Eugene laughed a bit and then put his hands on his hips and looked at me with a frown

Gee:” so this is what it’s about? Your ex-husband? Are you seriously going to stand here in front of me and compare him to Tshililo? Ria used to abuse you emotionally and physically and he also cheated on you and finally you cheated on me with him…with someone who did nothing but treated you like a piece of s*** and that’s the reason why I killed him Andani. You slept with him without protection and fell pregnant and lied to me about it…you let me believe that the twins were mine and I mourned their death when you got the miscarriage and even blamed myself for it and only find out later that this whole time you were not sure if they were mine? f*** Andani you don’t get to talk about him or to compare him to Tshililo who is just a f*****g good mother to her kids okay? You don’t get to do that” he was super pissed and looked like he could eat me alive. I just stood there and breathed

Gee:” even after all that drama with your ex-husband, we had a fight and you ran back to him…. to the man who treated you like s*** and who you cheated on me with…what was I supposed to do? I did the only thing that seemed right at the time and I killed him and given the chance I’d do it again…how can you even begin to compare that to her? She is a mother and we just buried her husband a week ago and you want to take her out? F*** Andani try have a heart please, how would you feel if someone kills you and leave your child an orphan?”

Me:” well I’ll never stab my friends in the back”

Gee:” I think my biggest mistake was showing you how much I love you” he said that shaking his head and looking away from me with his hands on his head.

I know this was insane, maybe it was but that’s what I wanted. I couldn’t handle a competition or losing him to someone. I knew Eugene enough to understand that once he loves someone he never stops so what if he loved her too? What will happen then? Tshililo was now single so that just made it worse. I wanted her gone so that I would never have to think about her. I know it was hard for him to understand but I wanted him to get it. I wanted to know that he’ll do anything for me…just like it used to be in the past…I felt like I was losing him, like he was sliping through my fingers

Me:” all I want is for you to be mine and all mine. I don’t want to feel like this. To feel jealous of you or not to trust you because right now I can’t trust you anymore, it’s hard Eugene. I’ve been cheated on before and treated like dirt and made to feel that I was worthless and now that you did this,I feel like more is still to come…like you are still going to surprise me with yet more bad news. I never thought you’d cheat on me….you vowed not to ever look at anyone else but me but then what is this?”

Gee:” wow…so I am being compared to him right now? To your ex-husband? I told you that the kiss meant nothing”

Me:” then prove it” I shouted

Gee:” by killing her?” he shouted too. I looked at him and nodded

Gee:” forget it Andani…I love you cupcake I do…you are my everything but I am not going to kill the poor woman for the kiss she didn’t even initiate…why not just kill me then? If the kiss bothers you that much then end me…I kissed her and not the other way around” what? I looked at him in disbelief

Me:’ wow…I’ve really lost you to her” he looked at me like I was going crazy

Gee:’ seriously? I think you are going crazy…we are here fighting about someone who is not even thinking about us…I am sure she has already forgotten about our phone call too”

Andani:” I need some air”

Gee:”how about permanent air Andani…all I have ever done since the first day was convince you that I love you and if you can’t see that then I don’t see the need to drain myself further trying to prove something that’s just not going to work”

Me:” you mean that?” my voice was hoarse and my lips were trembling…I wanted him to say no

Gee:” i love you and if you can’t see that then I don’t see how we will move past this”

Me:” okay” I blinked and turned around and went back to the bedroom. I was crying again. I went to the closet and took out a big suitcase bag and started packing my clothes

Gee:” what are you doing now?”

Me:” I am moving out and going back home” I said sniffing and trying to wipe off the tears and then went back to taking my clothes. I heard him breathe loudly

Gee:” you don’t really have to do that…I will move out of here and you can keep the house”

Me:” no I want to go back home Eugene, there is nothing for me here anymore…we really tried but it’s just not working out”

Gee:” when do you leave?” wow that hurts

Me:” I will spend today in the hotel or at Vhusi’s and then I will drive back home tomorrow”

Gee:” so since I can’t take my child from your tummy then I guess I will get you a body guard…someone to protect you…not just someone, a team of people to ensure your safety” what?

Me:” I thought the storm is over?”

Gee:” we thought it was over when Tebogo got killed so I am not taking any chances with my baby”

Me:” okay” I didn’t want to fight him on this because I also wanted the baby to be safe

Me:” but they can’t always be hovering over me every time and they should keep a little distance when I am home because my parents can’t suspect a thing Eugene”

Gee:” and what will you tell them about the baby and the father?”

Me:” that we are not together anymore and if they are not happy then I can always move out”

Gee:” ow…uhm I am gonna leave you to it…this is not something I’ll enjoy watching and if I stay here for long then I might end up forcing you to stay against your will because I honestly don’t want you to leave but I can’t control what you feel towards me now” he said that and heard for the door...he turned around and looked at me

Gee:” I really love you, I really do and right now I don’t even know how I am going to move past this…past you leaving but I figured I can’t force you now can i?” I just looked at him and then away

Me:” I still love you too but I just can’t help the thought that one day you’ll leave me”

Gee:” I will never do that but if that’s what you feel then….” He walked out of the door

TSHILILO

So it was in the afternoon and I was home. The kids were playing at the back and I was sitting at the front on the stoep with Nndwa sitting next to me. He was playing with his toys. I think with Thembu’s mom gone, I was the closest person close to him now…he was always following me around everywhere; he was always by my side. My father in law was somewhere in the house with Xolani and Zoleka. I was taking one step at a time and it was difficult. Xolani walked out and found me sitting outside.

X:” hey”

Me:” hi”

X:” you are sitting here all alone” I smiled

Me:’ alone? I have my boy with me right here” I said playing with Ndwakhulu’s hands

X:” oww yeah him” he smiled and sat next to me

X:” you’ve been avoiding me and Zoleka a lot lately, are you okay? Uhm stupid question…how are you holding up?”

Me:” I don’t know X…there are parts of me that just hate him you know” he looked at me with a questioning look

Me:” I hate him for leaving me so soon…he left me alone with the kids X, I miss him every minute of each day, I miss him and I feel like it’s all my fault” tears started coming out. Zoleka walked to us with a glass of water and she gave it to me…I shook my head and she put it on the floor and sat on my other side

Me:” sometimes I just want to blame myself for this, I just want to hate myself, I mean Katherine told me everything and I should have done more to try and stop her”

Zoleka:” you couldn’t have Tshililo”

Me:” it just hurts so much...I feel like we should have done more things together, it’s just that I didn’t know he’ll leave…and Thembu didn’t even fight it…he should have fought”

X:” I am sure he tried…I am sure he did”

Me:” to think that we only started making love just recently”

Zoleka:” huh?”

Me:” after coming back from Kenya I was going through a lot and couldn’t tolerate being touched and Thembuluwo supported me and stayed with me through all of that without making love. We only started sleeping together just this month…and now he is gone” Zoleka pulled me to her and hugged me

Zoleka:” everything is going to be fine…you’ll be fine and you’ll be able to move on okay?”

Me:” I hope so”

X:” you’ll be fine…we all will be fine…where is Ndivhuwo?” oww him…well I had no idea

Me:” I don’t know where he went, he hasn’t contacted you yet?”

X:” no…I hope he is not up to something or trying to get himself killed , we can’t afford losing someone else" yeah Xolani was right…we couldn’t afford to lose him

X:” and there is something else we need to discuss”

Me:” uhm okay”

X:” Thembuluwo died in a car accident so when do you plan on claiming the road accident funds?” I looked at him and frowned…he’s got to be kidding me

Me:” what are you talking about? Why would I do that? It’s not like we need the money and I don’t feel okay benefiting from his death”

X:” actually we do need the money”

Zoleka:’ what?”

X:” we are not as rich as we think we are anymore…with the businesses on a stand still we are running out of cash...we got properties yes but we are running out of actual cash”

Me:’ what? And you think that the only way to solve that is to claim this money? Xolani I just buried your brother last week, the least you can do right now is let me breathe for a long while…dammit” I got up

X:” Tshililo wait” I took the baby and walked inside the house. The nerve that some people have though

Zwi a Penga -Life As We Know It

Chapter 40

I couldn’t believe what Xolani was saying…we couldn’t be broke, no that was not possible. So I turned around and went back outside to him

Me:” what do you mean that we are not as rich as we think we are?” I said that looking at him with a baby on my hands

X:” the money is running out”

Me:’ that’s impossible”

Zoli:” how much do we have?”

X:” few millions but the thing is we spend millions annually…I mean look at our expenses? All the bills that need to be paid, the kids in expensive school, Rendani and Thendo in tertiary and this up and down from Western Cape and back is not really helping and all these parties we’ve done for the kids? We are running dry”

Zoli:’ and the businesses?”

Me:” yeah I thought they were working just fine”

X:” it’s not as easy as it used to be to get projects and even when we do get them they are just small projects that only give us a profit of less than a million at times”

Me:” wow”

X:” if you claim then we will get a little extra money”

Me:” But Ndivhuwo must have money stashed somewhere”

X:” we are using it and the rest he gave out to the people who were working for him. We really thought the businesses will drive us but our expenses are too much. All that Ndivhuwo has now is properties…he has them abroad as well”

Me:’ but we can’t just sell properties…those are supposed to be our hiding places just incase things gets really ugly, we gotta have somewhere to run to so selling properties is a no no”

X:” so are you going to claim?” I looked at him and frown

Me:’ how much millions do we have exactly?” he looked at me and then and Zoleka

X:” all I can tell you is that we are all in no position to buy a new car…we don’t have enough for that. We have enough to live for now and maybe until next year but after that…we’re gonna be battling. It’s either we start living a cheap life or we come up with another plan” I shook my head listening to him…we were not going to go back to selling drugs and all that crap. I’d rather move out of the mansion and stay in a one room…I just couldn’t go back…well maybe not a one bedroom but i also didn’t want us to go back to dealing drugs

Zoleka:’ no we are not going the illegal route, not anymore”

Me:” thank you Zoli”

X:” just go and claim that money…we only have few millions right now…don’t forget that the funeral also took away a large amount of money…we were tryna shine with the money we don’t have anymore”

Me:” that’s what Vhadaus do…we shine…as for the money, we will figure it all out and yes I will claim but it’s not like we are going hungry right now so give me at least a month please”

X:” thank you” I gave him a faint smile and walked away.

So the money was running out huh? God I thought we were sorted for life but the life we were both living was too flashy. How do you explain to the kids that they can’t have certain things now? The kids grown accustomed to the fancy life style we’d all been living. The problems in this house never seemed to come to an end. I got to my room and sat on the bed. I couldn’t stop worrying about Ndivhuwo, yeah he called yesterday in the morning and said he just needed some space but I was battling to believe him. I couldn’t shake the feeling that something was up. I put the child on the bed and tried calling him but it just rang to voicemail. I tried again and it took me straight to voicemail again…I decided to leave him a voice note

Me:” whatever you are doing out there, just bear in mind that you have a daughter back home and that Xolani alone can’t protect the family in case something happens so please whatever you do, don’t get yourself killed” I dropped the call and looked at Thembu and Bonita’s son and kissed him.

ANDANI

I stood in the middle of the room with tears in my eyes and looked at the door. I wished he could come back and made me feel as safe as he once made me. But I didn’t feel safe now; I didn’t feel as important to him as he once made me. The Eugene I knew and fell in love with wouldn’t have let me leave him, not with his baby in my tummy. The realisation finally sunk in…Eugene was falling out of love with me and I was battling to accept it. I sat on the floor and cried for my dear life. He even said I could keep the damn ugly house. I didn’t want to keep the house; he was the one I wanted to keep. My heart broke in a way I can’t even explain, I held my tummy and thought of my child and how I had lost the twins because of stress.

“Please God protect my baby”

I said the words as I cry and everything came back and I was reminded of the ill treatment I received form Ria and how I bottled it all up in the name of love and how much it destroyed me. I was destroyed when Eugene found me, I didn’t believe that I could love and be loved again. Eugene came to me like a thief in the night and stole my heart. I didn’t want this; I didn’t want to feel like this again, to love anyone else again. What was making it really worse was that Eugene promised me that I would be the queen to his thrown and that he would never ever hurt me and like a stupid fool I believed him. I should have known that after everything that Ria made me go through I shouldn’t have trusted him. It hurt so much, I trusted Eugene so much to make me feel loved every time I was feeling unloved. It was his job; he promised me that he’d be there to pick me up every time I was falling. And here I was …falling…I was full of doubt and I didn’t need him to give in to that doubt, I wanted him to assure me that I was wrong, to prove to me again that I was his queen and that I was worthy to be loved but he didn’t do that. He was letting me go. I sobbed as I thought back to the time he told me that he couldn’t possibly breathe or survive without me…what changed now? The world had suddenly become survivable without me? I hated him for making me feel this way, for making me fall in love with him so deep, for making me trust him this much. I hated him for falling for Tshililo. All he should have done when I asked him to take her out was to agree to it and who knows maybe my heart was going to break and I would have let it go but he couldn’t even take the chance and that’s all because he felt something for her. I got up and looked around the room and realised that I didn’t have the strength in me to pack anything so I changed into a jean and some sneakers and a plain t shirt and took one handbag with all the necessarily stuff I knew I’ll need during my drive and I walked out of the bedroom and all the way down to the lounge.

I felt this little excitement creep in when I saw the door opens but it suddenly faded when I realised that it was Lusani and not Eugene…yeah as stupid as it sounds, I thought Eugene came back here to sort things out with me. What was Lusani doing here? He was texting on his phone and he stopped immediately when he looked up at me. I suddenly started wiping off the tears. He frowned and then put his phone in his jean pocket and walked to me

Lusani:’ you’re okay?” he was in blue ripped up jeans, a plain white t shirt, white cap and shite Jordan sneakers. Lusani wasn’t really cute, not at all but there was something about him that just makes you want to keep on looking at him

Me:” I am fine Lusani, what are you doing here? Eugene is not around” he frowned and stood in front of me with his legs far apart and his hand on his chin

Lusani:” you do know that you can talk to me right?”

Me:” you don’t just stop meddling now do you? Do you want to get killed?” I said sounding even more irritated

Lusani:” I know Eugene is not here and hopefully you won’t tell him so what’s up?”

Me:’ if you know that Eugene isn’t here then why did you come?”

Lusani:” I am a sucker for punishment from your man I guess. Well, when he called some of the guys to come and drive with you back to Limpopo and to stay there I just knew that something was wrong. Normally Eugene would drive you home himself, especially because you are pregnant” he pointed at my tummy with his head

Me:” I just want to go” I said that trying to walk but he took my hand

Lusani:’we are friends remember? I am here when you need to talk” I looked at him and all I saw was sincerity and I got tempted to open up to him and ask him if he thought Eugene still felt the same way about me but I also didn’t want to get the poor boy killed, Eugene was heartless like that, especially now that I was leaving, there was no telling what he could do

Me:” I honestly don’t want to be responsible for causing your death”

Lusani:’ Andani talk to me…who knows maybe I will help, I know him better remember?’

Me:” we broke up” saying the words out loud hurt so much

Lusani:” huh? Are you sure you didn’t just fight?”

Me:’ no…we broke up and I am leaving” Lusani looked more shocked than I thought he will be. So he really didn’t see this one coming?

Lusani:’ it’s just…wow, I never thought…wow” he walked around in a circle as if he was thinking and then looked back at me

Me:” now I gotta go” I tried to walk but he pulled me to him

Lusani:” I am here for you and if you want me to keep an eye on him for you then I am your guy, I know you still care about him so I will keep him in check for you okay?” I don’t know but looking into his eyes I knew I could trust him so I nodded while looking at him

Lusani:’now come here…you look like you need a hug” he pulled me to him and hugged me so tight…he had his hand at the back of my head and smoothly brushing on my head

Lusani:’ he’ll come back to his senses” he said that and kissed my head, I pulled away and looked at him

Me:” how do you know he is the one at wrong?”

Lusani:” come on...I know Eugene and I know you…what would you possibly do to him? You obviously didn’t cheat because otherwise he’d be out slaughtering someone so he is the one on the wrong”

Me: “goodbye Lusani” I said that and walked out the door and he followed me

Lusani:” try not to stress okay? We can’t lose the little one over this so take care” I shook my head and walked to the car. I wasn’t taking the Benz that Eugene bought for me…it just didn’t feel right so I took my BMW instead. It felt weird driving in my own car after driving on that fancy machine for a while. Lusani waved at me as I drove out of the gate…my heart tore up as I looked at the house. I drove to Vhusani’s place.

Lusani saw the car disappear into the streets and then took out his phone and called Katlego

Katlego:” hey”

Lusani:” good news…the castle is crumbling down”

Katlego:”huh?”

Lusani:”the queen is leaving the king my dear…trouble in paradise” Katlego laughed

Katlego:” no ways”

Lusani:’ yes ways…but I am a little concerned about you though…now that the nigga is single, are you not gonna get destructed and get back with him? I mean he might give you a call”

Katlego:’ after everything he made me go through? And how he treated me like s*** because of that girl? I actually wish she could just die so that I can see him suffer the same pain I felt when I lost him. I want him in jail and helpless Lusani. I want him to call me while he is desperate for my help, I want him to feel what it’s like to beg for my help…so the answer is no…I won’t get distracted” Lusani smiled

Lusani:” good then, it’s about time we remove his biggest weapons”

Katlego:” yeah the IT guys need to be taken out ASAP, if we take them out then Eugene will be too blind to see what’s coming or to cover his tracks…he will be at his most  vulnerable” Lusani laughed

Lusani:” I can’t wait to finally see him down and for us to run the show”

Katlego:” only a matter of time”

Lusani:” let me get going”

Katlego:’ sure”

ANDANI

After leaving the house I drove straight to Vhusani’s place. I got there and parked my car and then walked to her flat. I ran into Lala while going up…he was leaving

Me:” hey”

Lala:” hey you” well I felt bad for the fact that I failed to assist him with my friend’s wedding, I felt like I was appearing as an unsupportive friend

Me:” how have you been?”

Lala:” it’s been good, hopefully you are great too”

Me:” perfect”

Lala:” and Eugene? The two of you seem very busy lately” I smiled

Me:” after his sister’s death things are just hectic”

Lala:” I can only imagine…anyway I gotta run, see you later”

Me:” xap” he walked past me and I got to the door and knocked. Vhusani came and opened for me…she looked shocked to see me

Vhusani:” ow…uhm I wasn’t expecting you”

Me:” I know I am jus….wel…i….” I started tearing up while standing right there…Vhusani rolled her eyes and walked to me and gave me a hug

Vhusani:” sorry sweety…what’s going on?” she broke the hug and looked at my now messed up face

Me:” it’s over Vhusi, we are done” I said that and sobbed. She just looked at me and raised her eyebrows…more like she was finding it hard to believe what I said to her

NDIVHUWO

I fixed a drink for Katherine and took it to her…she was in serious pain but I didn’t care. She deserved every little bit of pain. She just looked at me and said nothing

Me:” mind opening your mouth? We gotta keep you hydrated for the kid” she opened her mouth and I helped her drink the juice. She took few sips and I stopped and looked at her

Me:’ that’s enough to drug you”

Katherine:” what?” her voice was now weak. I smiled at her

Me:” we are going home momma, we are going home” I put the drink down and untied her. She could barely stand on her own or touch anything because of what I did to her so I didn’t have to worry about her running

Katherine:” home?” she whispered.

I lay her down and then took my first aid kid and cleaned her up and bandaged her on the wounds. She was already out by the time I was done. I was really hoping that the pill will work properly and that it won’t cause any harm to the baby. I then placed her in a big suitcase and then drove out of there. By morning I was already at the airport and ready to leave for South Africa. I bribed few security guys so that they don’t search my bag. i sat there waiting for the flight to board and I couldn’t help but wonder how Tshililo was going to take the news about Katherine being pregnant with my baby. This was going to be hard for her and I wasn’t sure if I should tell her or keep it a secret until Katherine gives birth. I took out my phone and I had missed calls from her and one voicemail. I listened to her voicemail and felt this strange feeling inside of me. it was a feeling of contentment, it was now confirmed that Tshililo still cared…she was still mourning her husband’s death and that’s why she was mean to me so I could relax then?