ZWI A PENGA – LIFE AS WE KNOW
IT
Chapter 46
EUGENE
I sat in my lounge and decided
to enjoy a good whiskey before I get arrested, I’ll surely miss it. I sipped on
the glass of my 50 years old Balvenie and knew that I’ll surely miss it. I
thought of calling Paps and tell him about the situation and that Lusani sold
me out but I decided against the idea because I figured that it will work
better if less people knew that I knew what was going on. Lusani was obviously
going to have the pleasure of telling my old man that I got arrested, he’ll be
in pain but he’ll have to be strong. I sat on my sofa with my legs crossed and
thought of how I could make Lusani pay when I come back. Nothing seemed enough
for him…all the magic I can do with my knifes wasn’t enough for that boy. I
wanted him to surfer for ever thinking that he could outsmart me…that’s the
worst part, he thought he’d do this to me and get away with it. That’s what was
pissing me off; how stupid did he honestly thought I was huh? I played ‘Love me
now’ by John Legend and my mood shifted and it just reminded me of little Andi
and the light she brought into my life. I shook my head with a smile as I
thought about her.
I sat there the whole afternoon
and that evening there was a hard knock on my door. I stumbled as I walked to
the door. I was half drunk by then. I opened the door and my driveway was
flooded with them police. I stood at the door like a boss with my legs
stretched out and my hands folded on my chest and smiled
Me:” to what do I owe the
pleasure?” if I was going to get down then I was at least going to make sure
that I keep my dignity intact, I wasn’t going to give them the satisfaction to
see me angry and fighting them
McCarthy:” hello Eugene” he
stood there with his big head and cracked a proud smile. He had some South
African detectives with him
Detective:” I take it that you
are Mr Eugene Sobukwe”
Me:” the one and only”
Detective:” sir you are under
arrest for smuggling of drugs, smuggling of money into the country, illegal
hacking of police systems, murders and illegal brothel operation” like
seriously? Why being so dramatic? How sure were they that they had evidence for
everything on that list huh? Unless Lusani was willing to take a stand and
testify against me
Me:” seriously?” I smirked as
if I was finding them funny. They looked at each other and then back at me
McCarthy:” yes seriously” the
detective came behind me to handcuff me
Detective:” you are
underarrest and everything you say can and w-“
Me:” it’s cool bruh…you don’t
have to tell me the whole speech, I know about it already” McCarthy giggled
McCarthy:” no no no dont
interrupt officers of the law…I want to enjoy this moment” he smiled with his
hands in his pockets
Detective:” exactly, don’t
take this moment from us…let me enjoy this…so …” I rolled my eyes
Detective:” you have the right
to remain silent. Anything you do or say can and will be used against you in a
court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an
attorney, one will be provided for you by the state. Do you understand these
right sir?” the smiles on these guys faces were priceless. I just nodded with a
smile and let them take me outside. There was one thing I was really worried about.
The fact that McCarthy was here. I was happy with all this being handled in
South Africa because I knew I could go free but with McCarthy involved then
there was a chance of the case being tried in the states or any other country
because I operated in different states and countries… and if I dont get tried
in SA then it would be the end of me. The justice system in the US was more strict
as compared to SA so I was worried. I had to come up with a plan to stay in the
country.
TSHILILO
After the group hug we
awkwardly broke the hug
X:” what now?”
Me:” now you get rid of the
body…we can’t expect Ndivhuwo to do it in his condition”
X:” okay that’s fine, I think
you guys should go home, I will manage”
Ndiv:” you’re sure?”
X:” 100 percent”
Ndiv:” Katherine asked
someone’s phone and called Daddy so we will have to get ready for him”
Me:” when it rains it pours
huh? No drizzling in our family”
X:” you don’t think he might
be here already right?” he was scared
Ndiv:” I doubt it, it’s not
like he is in the country, I just have to get my laptop and check his
whereabouts”
Me:” you know what I think we
all need? We all need a holiday or maybe something cheaper since we are going
broke…just a braai today at home. I will do shopping and we should all just
forget about our problems and what’s coming and spend this day laughing with
the kids for a change. Yeah daddy is coming but it won’t be today…let’s try to
be happy…I can’t take all the stress anymore, it’s too much” I said with a
frown…I felt like crying
X:” Ndiv?”
Ndiv:” let’s go home and have
a laugh of our lives and then tomorrow is back to business”
X:” now leave already, I gotta
deal with this and then I will come back home and laugh”
Ndiv:” take her to the same
place we buried Bee”
X:” same place it is” we
hugged him goodbye and Ndivhuwo and I left him there. We walked to Ndivhuwo’s
car. We both got in at the front seat
Me:” I am sorry” I wasn’t
looking at him. There were still parts of me that were scared of him
Ndiv:” I will be okay, I have
been through worse plus maybe it wasn’t mine” he looked at me and cracked a
smile and I just nodded. How do I even begin to smile with him huh? To see him
as normal again? He showed me the sight of him that really scared me
Ndiv:” I am sorry” I looked
away and not at him
Ndiv:”I really am” he sounded
a little bit desperate and I didn’t want us to start discussing what happened
because he was still mourning the baby, well even though we didn’t know for
sure if the baby was his but this was a difficult time for him.
Me:” i….i don’t want to talk
about it, at least not now”
Ndiv:” but you do understand
that I wouldn’t deliberately hurt you right? I wasn’t myself” I breathed
Me:” you scared me and you
almost killed me…that’s all I know, now let’s go home please…uhm lets got to
spar first” he looked at me an breathed loudly
Me:” I forgive you and I
understand why you did it” I wanted him to relax and to lift the burden off his
shoulders a little. We drove to Spar and he refused to get out of the car…he
stayed in the car and handed me his card and I walked to the store. I bought
the groceries I thought we were going to need for the afternoon and then paid
and walked out.
So it was around three in the
afternoon and the whole family was home. Xolani and Zoleka were at the picnic
table laughing and screaming and also fighting playfully. Xolani was drinking
some liquor and Zoli had a glass of juice on her hand, they also had some
snacks on the table. The old man was our braai master…yep grandfather was busy
braaing meat for us bruh…I was lazy to cook so I bought pap and salads in town
nje. We were all just going to the braaistand and take a piece of meat whenever
we felt like it and the old man didn’t mind. He had his sister sitting with him
close to the braaistand and believe me…that old woman wasn’t playing with the
damn meat. I was playing with kids along with Ndivhuwo. I was in Thembu’s grey
OldKhaki shirt, my blue faded skinny and grey Puma. Ndivhuwo was in black
ripped up jeans that hung a little, black unbuttoned long-sleeved shirt with
folded sleeves and a black vest inside which was tucked in and he didn’t wear
shoes.We had a tennis and we were playing together with the kids…it was
beautiful and for the first time in a very long time I actually laughed and
knew that my laughter wasn’t fake. The kids were happy, they laughed and
giggled and played and it was the most beautiful thing I had watched in a long
time. Everyone was happy and having a great time. Well, the braai was a good
idea, we all needed it. Xolani went to the house and started playing music.
Ndivhuwo and I looked at each other and laughed. He was playing Makhadzi…damn
the kids went crazy. They ran to the stoep and started dancing. Xolani danced
with them and we all looked at them and just laughed.
Me:” I don’t want this to end”
I said to Ndivhuwo
Ndiv:” I will make sure that
this becomes our everyday life, we need this kind of happiness” I smiled
finally feeling that there was a little bit of hope for the Vhadaus. We still
knew how to be happy so there was hope. We were standing like that watching the
kids when Ndivhu’s phone rang. He looked at it and answered
Ndiv:”
hello…yeah…uhm…what?....are you sure?...f***” he hung up and put the phone back
in his pocked an looked at the kids. I looked at him and his face had changed,
he wasn’t happy anymore, the phonecall wasn’t a good one and I started
panicking
Me:” what’s wrong?” he looked
at me and cracked a fake smile
Ndiv:”the baby was mine” he
said that and walked back to the house and I ran after him. I followed him all
the way to his bedroom. I walked in and closed the door and stood against it. He
started pacing not even acknowledging my presence
Me:” Ndivhuwo” he ignored me
and just paced. Okay maybe this was my queue to leave. After how he almost
killed me I didn’t want to risk another episode. So I opened the door and he
quickly came behind me and pushed it back and it closed. My breathing escalated
and my body started shaking…I was scared of him. I felt his warm breathing
across my neck…I closed my eyes and prepared myself for the worst
Ndiv:” I killed my baby” he
said in a tone I didn’t expect…it wasn’t a bossy one…it was a fragile one. I
turned around and faced him…his eyes were red and he looked like he was in
serious pain
Me:” I am sorry” I whispered.
He spread his hands above my head on both side of me and leaned over to my
face. My heart was now beating out of my chest. He better not kiss me
Ndiv:” I had to…she would have
killed us” he was obviously blaming himself and this was him trying to justify
his actions so that he could feel better. I wrapped my hands around his body
and he was tense. He then wrapped his hands around me too and hugged me tight
Me:” it’s going to be
fine…everything will be fine” he squeezed the life out of me and sobbed
Zwi a Penga – Life As We Know
It
Chapter 47
TSHILILO
I don’t know how long the hug
lasted but I was seriously feeling sorry for him, I couldn’t even imagine how
he must have been feeling. Imagine knowing that you were responsible for
killing your own child. Yeah Katherine happened to be the mother of the child
but it didn’t change the fact that this was still Ndivhu’s blood. He broke the
hug and walked away from me
Ndiv:” I am sorry, I am jus-“
Me:” it’s okay, you are
allowed to be sad and hurt about this…its painful and you are allowed to feel
what you are feeling right now” he sat on the be with his hands on his head
Ndiv:” this is not life, this
is not living…I jus-“
Me:” stop, Ndivhuwo stop. We
will whether the storm and we will see the light at the end of it all” he
looked at me and shook his head
Niv:” you sound so sure”
Me” this can’t be our destiny,
I refuse to believe that this is how we get to live our lives…there has to be
happiness somewhere, pure happiness” I looked at him desperate for him to
believe me. He was losing hope and I didn’t want him to lose hope, I wanted him
to keep believing that life could be better for us. He just sat there and said
nothing
Ndiv:” I never got to tell you
this because we never had time but there were parts of me that actually liked
Katherine, and it hurt so bad to find out that the only girl beside you that I
liked had to be my family’s downfall...like I don’t know Tshililo…somehow this
life just don’t love me, it never did” he stood up again and stood in the
middle of the room an faced the wall. I walked to him and stood next to him
Me:” someday it’s going to get
better” he looked at me straight into my eyes and I swallowed and then looked
away. He came and stood in front of me and lifted my chin so that I can look
straight into his eyes. The way he looked at me said something and I knew I had
to stop him
Me:” don’t kiss me” I
whispered
Ndiv:” why?”
Me:” you know why” he cupped
my face and my whole boy got electrified
Ndiv:” I actually don’t know”
what? He knew why? Why was he doing this?
Ndiv:” do you want me to
wait?” huh? Did I wanted him to wait?
Ndiv:” you are worth every
second Tshililo…I can wait for you for as long as you want me to” I removed his
hands from my face and gave him my back…this guy was confused and I couldn’t
understand him
Me:” I am damaged goods Ndivhuwo,
I don’t understand why you still want me. I have hurt you so much and I hate
myself for it. Do you think I smile when I think of everything you’ve been
through because of me? It hurts to see you like this and being yours will only
subject you to more pain, I just can’t take the chance. I am too damaged for
this…for us…i...-“
Ndiv:”shhhhh! It’s okay…I love
damaged goods actually” he said standing behind me and there was no amusement
on his voice, he was very serious and as much as I wanted to laugh at that
statement, I chose not to.
Me:” I can’t let you do that
to yourself”
Ndiv:” I am going to repeat
this again…should I wait?”
Me:” I honestly don’t know”
Ndiv:” that’s not a no so I
will cho-“ he stopped talking because someone knocked on the door
Me:” uhm I better get going” I
ran to the door and open and Thembu’s dad was standing at the door
Me:” uhm…well, I was just
leaving”
Dad:” no…you are aren’t”
Me:” what?” I was shocked and
I looked back at Ndivhuwo who was wiping off his face
Dad:” come…we have to talk” he
pushed me back in and went to sit on Ndivhuwo’s chest drawer and looked from me
to Ndivhuwo. I was standing close to the door and Ndivhuwo went to sit on his
bed
Me:” uhm I think Nndwakhulu
needs me”
Dad:” this won’t take long
Mazwale (daughter in law)”
Me:” okay” I hugged myself and
faked a smile
Ndiv:’ what’s this about?”
Dad:” the two of you” we both
gave him nervous smiles
Me:” what about us?”
Ndiv:” yeah what’s happening?”
Dad:” this thing between the
two of you, it doesn’t have to be like this” ow no, the old man suspected something?
Nothing was happening though
Me:” there is nothing between
us, I promise”
Ndiv:” well, I wouldn’t mind
if there is something” I looked at him with a murderous look and he looked away
from me
Dad:” maybe not but I can
sense something and I just want to tell you two that its traditionally allowed
so you don’t have to sneak around or anything like that” I looked at him with my
eyes wide open…what the hell was he saying? I saw a smile creeping in on
Ndivhuwo’s face
Me:” I am lost”
Dad:” rightfully it should be
Xolani but he is married and Thendo is too young so if the two of you have some
kind of an agreement then you shouldn’t really hide it…the family will
understand and instead of Tshililo leaving this family and marry outside we
would like to keep her here with us…you are part of this family Tshililo and if
you like Ndivhuwo then we won’t stand in your way…we will actually be happy
that Thembu’s kids won’t have to call someone else as dad and all your kids
will use the same surname” okay this got to be a joke
Me:” I am really speechless”
Ndivhuwo just looked at me and smiled
Ndiv:” I am not” he said with
the biggest smile on his face. Whatever happened to the tears and the sad
moment just few minutes ago
Dad:”but if you don’t like the
arrangement that’s also fine”
Me:” everything has been
happening so fast and I am still mourning my husband’s death, I haven’t really
thought of moving on, unless of course the family think that I should move out”
Dad:” no of course not,…we are
just telling you how wide your options are and seeing that there is a spark
between the two of you so you shouldn’t let the family come between you” so the
old man suddenly became a match maker? When did this happen?
Me:” I should go play with the
kids” i walked out, closed the door and walked outside the house; I couldn’t
believe what just happened.
EUGENE
We got to the station and I
was taken into administration office. I don’t know hey, not once in my career
did I thought that I would end up here. Rod must really be disappointed in me.
We got there and they took the famous jail photographs of me and then my
fingerprints and I was taken to a room where I was ordered to take off all my
clothes and I was thoroughly searched and then made my way to the cell. It all
felt like a dream and for the first time in a long time I felt like I was
paying for killing my parents, for torturing every human being I had tortured,
for all the people who died of drug overdose and for everyone whose life I
badly influenced. I know I was supposed to feel bad and I was not sure if what
I was feeling was me giving up or me being human but I didn’t feel bad for
myself, I felt that I deserved jail.
McCarthy:” never thought I’d
see the day”
Me:” me too” I said without a
care in the world
McCarthy:” you won’t make your
way out of this one” he was walking with me while the two officers were taking
me to my cell after changing to the orange uniform
Me:” if I want out I can get
out so enjoy the victory while it last because you and I both know that I knew
about the arrest before you came to my house and it only happened because I let
it happen…I can put a stop to it if I want to…I can escape and you can never
find me but I don’t want to do it so hold yourself together and behave because
I am better off with this smile…you really don’t want to know how I am when I
am angry”
McCarthy:” I am not scared”
Me:” you should be”
McCarthy:” I will make sure
that we take this to the states”
Me:” keep trying”
ANDANI
I woke up the following
morning feeling tired and a bit out of place. I looked around and saw my son
sleeping peacefully next to me. I was happy to have him and I was happy to be
in my old room again but something was missing. I could feel it in my spirit
that no matter how hard I tried to be happy, I was missing him. I needed him
here with me. I woke up and sat on the bed and looked at my phone. I didn’t
have any missed call. Maybe they took him in already. I was about to get out of
bed when my door burst open and my mom and dad walked in
Me:” what the hell?” I said in
my sleepy voice
Dad:” what the hell is this
Andani?”
He threw his phone to me and I
looked at them and frowned and then took the phone and looked at it. I yawned
as I do so with my one hand covering my mouth. There, in black and
white…Eugene’s arrest was on the online news website…I couldn’t believe it…you
know what the headline said? “International gangster mogul arrested for various
illegal operations in different countries and states” and I guess if I read the
whole article they would have written the whole story. I looked at the photo of
Eugene that appeared on the web and shook my head
Mom:” tell me it’s not true”
if this was not disappointment then I don’t know what was. They didn’t look
angry like I wanted them to…they were just disappointment and the look in their
faces sent too much pain to me
Me:” I love him” I said in my
tired voice
Dad:” that’s why you came
back? Because your criminal boyfriend is arrested?”
Me:” he is not a criminal and
I love him” criminal? I knew he had done some bad things but he wasn’t a
criminal…criminals break people’s houses and steal their goods, they break into
shops and steal things…they kill people for no reason but Eugene wasn’t like
that. He only killed when it was necessary “was killing Ria Necessary?” I heard
a small voice whisper at the back of my mind
Mom:” so you knew about all
this? You knew he was a criminal?” I looked at them and let their eyes pierce
at me and took it all in
Mom:” oww my God Andani what
is wrong with you huh? So the baby is his?”
Dad:” what baby? She cheated
on Ria with him?” my mom knew I was pregnant? How did she know?
Mom:” she is pregnant with
that criminal’s baby of course” my mom said that with her most angry tone and
walked out of the room
Dad:” I don’t give a damn how
much you love that thug of yours but that baby won’t stay in my house Andani
and if you think that you’ll move out and still spend the money on the
trustfund then you are very much mistaken…you are going to wake up and go to
the Doctor to remove that thing…I will make an appointment for you and
then…just then I will try to live with you as my daughter again. If you don’t
do what I said then I will take every cent of mine and you’ll be left homeless
and penniless
Me:” dad!”
Dad:” I mean it Andani…how can
you go out and love someone so dangerous huh? We don’t want anything to link us
to him so you are going to get rid of that baby…finish and klaar” he turned
around and walked out of the room. I threw myself back on the bed and closed my
eyes…Eugene mara why?
ZWI LIFE
Chapter 48
ANDANI
I sat there and looked around
the room and couldn’t believe that my parents were telling me to kill their
grandchild. Eugene would flip…no he wouldn’t do that…he would just kill me and
them, imagine him finding out that I killed his baby? He would break out of
that prison and come for me in a second. As for my father….i had the money to
live…I could go some time with the cash from my ex-husband’s insurance plus the
three houses I had…I could always sell my own and left with Ria’s two houses
but then again wouldn’t I need my parents? Eugene was gone and from our last
conversation together he made it clear to me that he might be gone for a long
time and even if he comes out…it was gonna be an illegal break out meaning that
he’d be on the run. Keeping this baby will mean that I get disowned. I thought
about how Eugene and I fought teeth and nails to keep this baby safe…I was in
love with my baby and I had no intentions of killing him/her. I got out of bed
and walked out of the room with my pyjama shorts and a vest and some sleepers.
My son was still fast asleep. I went to the kitchen and took out a Yogurt and
stood there and enjoyed it…for few seconds nothing else mattered. My mom walked
in
Mom:” I can’t believe that the
sweet Eugene is a criminal”
Me:” stop referring to him as
a criminal mom. You’ve meet him and you loved him…he is sweet”
Mom:” sweet? He is an animal
and you know it too” I rolled my eyes and walked away from her, I didn’t have
time for this. I was walking back to my room when I ran into my father
Dad:” I have made a call to a
Doctor friend of mine and you are the first one on the list…you’ll be his first
patient so he comes in at 08:30…you should be there by then” huh? He walked past me and then turned around and
looked at me
Dad:” on second thought, I am
driving you…or watch me as I leave this house and go to the bank and clean up
all the money I saved for you”
Me:” I don’t need the money
you know” I was looking straight at him and it felt weird to look at my dad
like a bad guy. He’s always been there for me, I’ve always been daddy’s little
girl
Dad:” really? Then leave my
house and don’t even think of taking your son with you…that boy will stay here”
he’s got to be kidding me
Me:” dad you are not serious,
that’s my son?” I yelled
Dad:” and he is my grandson
and if you try to take him then I will fight you in court and looking at the
man whom you’ve introduced this boy to and how you’ve been staying with someone
like that then I bet I will get the custody…I have money and in this country of
ours, everything can be for sale….including court battles” I breathed with
tears lining up on my eyes
Me:” you wouldn’t do that” my
voice was shaky”
Dad:” I can Andani and if you
think that you are going to have Ria’s house and his money? Well I can take
that away from you too. You were divorced and the only reason you got
everything is because of your son. If I win the custody then I can take all of
Ria’s belongings from you…just…don’t test me my girl” there was something in my
dad that I’d never seen before…he was ruthless and heartless…I guess this was
how he wass when it comes to business deals …this was the side of him I’d never
seen and as much as I hated crying in front of him I couldn’t stop the tears
Me:” dad!” I looked at him
with tears gushing down my face and my dad gave me a plain look that didn’t
show any remorse or that he was feeling sorry for me
Me:” dad please don’t do this”
I begged
Dad:” then go up there and get
ready…we leave at 8” I felt a stab in my heart
Me:” he will kill me if I do
this” that wasn’t a lie, Eugene was in love with this bay
Mom:” do you plan on telling
him? Because we don’t” I looked from my dad to my mother who stood at the
kitchen entrance and felt like I didn’t know my parents. My mom was supposed to
be on my side at least, she was supposed to understand, how was she supporting
something like this?
Me:” mom please I can’t kill
this baby…this is your grandchild”
Dad:” my grandchild is
sleeping up there. These things travels through the blood Andi…we can’t have
his DNA running through your baby’s veins, we can’t accept that child. Who
knows? What if his people start coming after you huh? What if they decide to
use the baby as a leverage or he comes to my house demanding his child when he
comes back? I want nothing to do with that thug” I looked at them and shook my
head
Me:” he will kill us all”
Dad:” he won’t know”
Mom:” it was a miscarriage,
you’ve already had a first one…he will understand”
Dad:” he’s killed many people
before, I am sure this won’t mean a thing to him” they knew nothing about him;
they didn’t know him like I did. Eugene wanted this baby so bad, he could kill
for this. This baby was his hope, he’d been through so much and he deserved at
least this baby
Mom:” now go get ready” I
looked at them once more and turned around and walked to my room.
I couldn’t believe it. I
couldn’t believe that my parents were making me do this. I stood in front of
the mirror and just sobbed. I didn’t have to shower, well, I just didn’t want
to. I looked at Omphulusa who was still peacefully sleeping and couldn’t
stomach the thought of losing him for good. I couldn’t let my father take my
son away from me. My father was rich and powerful and as much as I wished he
was bluffing, it didn’t look like it. He could take everything away from me and
with Lusani in charge of Eugene’s estate, I wasn’t sure if he’ll want to take
care of me and the employment rate in South Africa was not something to smile
about so getting a job was not something that a person can bet on. My hands
were tied here. I had to lie to Eugene and tell him that I was too stressed and
got another miscarriage. The thing that worries me the most was the guilt I
would carry with me everyday after committing such a sin. How will I look at
myself in the mirror everyday? How will I look at my parents? I took out one of
my old jeans and tried to wear it in but it wasn’t fitting, I guess I had
gained a bit of weight. I wore a tracksuit instead and a plain red t shirt and
my sleepers and walked out of my room to the lounge. My dad was sitting there
having breakfast that my mom prepare for him
Me:” I will wait outside”
Mom:” okay…he will be there in
a sec…is Omphu still sleeping?” seriously? I think it was too soon to start
talking as if everything was okay. I got to my dad’s car and waited outside. I
felt like I waited for an hour but finally he walked out of the house and drove
me to the hospital. We got to the private hospital and he parked the car
outside. It was still early and the place looked empty
Dad:” I will wait out here” I
just got out of the car without saying another word.
I realised when I was walking
inside that I still had a doek on my head…any day I would have ran to the car
and try to fix my hair but on this particular morning I didn’t care who saw me,
I just didn’t give a hoot. I got inside and gave the receptionist my ID and she
smiled and typed something on the computer then gave me a file and asked me to
walk into consultation room number three. I walked through the passage with my
legs suddenly becoming wobbly. I couldn’t believe I was about to do this. I was
on my 4th months and abortion was illegal at this stage but I guess
my dad talked to his Doctor friend to just go ahead and do it. No he didn’t
even know how far I was. Could he go on with the procedure if I tell him how
far I am? If that happen will my father let it go or he will just go the illegal
abortion route? I mean I’d never seen him like that and it scared me. He was
capable of anything and I felt like I didn’t know him at all. I decided to stop
thinking and do what I needed to do…I was going to face the guilt and
everything that was to come with it when I was done…for now I just wanted to
get the whole thing over and done with.
EUGENE
Prison day number one was
quite okay. I’ve had few encounters with boys who were tryna get me into their
groepies and some who tried to scare me but I showed them what I was made of. I
wasn’t just good with knifes but I knew that if I wanted to then the animal in
me can take care of things. So I had about three fights just last night and I
made sure that I beat the guys up to a pulp because that was me showing
everyone who ever thought of coming to me that I meant business. They say that
getting into fights or killing someone can increase your sentence but the funny
thing is I wasn’t even sentenced yet so I guess I was cool. I wasn’t about to have
these lame shoplifters mess with my head. I managed to survive last night and
everyone kept giving me murderous looks but it was not something I hadn’t seen
before. I had seen guys look at me with so much hate and it did nothing to me.
Day 2 in prison, I got called
out of the cell because apparently I had a visitor. I smiled realising that I
had to act like an actor once again with Lusani because he was the only person
I expected but damn…I got the shock of my life when I saw her…she was here…in
flesh. I sat on the table across her and looked at her with emotions I can’t
even explain. I hated her for coming here but I was also glad she did. I missed
her somuch my eyes even got teary.
“Eugene why?” she said in a
sad tone like she’d done a thousand times before…I felt like a young boy and
she a mother
Me:” things got out of hand”
“What? We taught you to be
careful…you are supposed to be careful” she whispered. I looked at her and
smiled
Me:” allow me these few
minutes to enjoy seeing you…I am happy you are here…it’s been years…mom” I said
the last word and giggled with tears in my eyes
“It’s nice seeing you too…son”
I held her hands into mine and knew that I missed her so much. The cop came and
stopped us from touching, I removed my hands from hers and looked at her
“You have no idea how I pulled
all the stops to come here for you” she had a veil on her head that covered her
face as well and she also had sun glasses…she wore a weave and looked really
different, no one could really recognise her
ZWI-LIFE
Chapter 49
EUGENE
Me:” you’re still watching
me?”
“You and my daughter and his
parents and my family…how can I not? It’s the only life I have”
Me:” you don’t look any
different, still the same old Stacy”
Stacy:” so, how is in there?”
Me:” I am coping”
Stacy:” Rod must be turning in
his grave Eugene, what happened?”
Well Stacy and Rod were
supposed to have died together but they didn’t. Stacy escaped but she never told
anyone, we all thought she was dead along with Rod until five years ago when
she appeared from no where…I was in some sort of a trouble and she came for me.
I was obviously shocked to see her and thought I was dreaming but she saved me
and later told me about how she survived and how she stayed under the radar
from then on. She was trying to stay alive because she knew that that’s what
Rod would have wanted and she wanted to make sure that her daughter was safe so
she had to hide in order to keep herself safe. I asked her to come back and
tell everyone that she was alive but she said she didn’t want to take the risk
because she couldn’t be able to forgive herself if something happens to us. She
was a mother and loved us all and she was doing everything to protect us. I
knew she was going to come, I was not betting on it but I was hoping she’d come
like she did years back. The people who took out Rod were dangeours and she
knew that they could still take her out because she worked with her husband and
they messed up a deal together. I tried to beg her to tell Rod’s parents that
she was still alive but she refused, she said that she didn’t want to interrupt
the peace. She was happy watching us from the distance and knowing that we were
fine.
Me:” I was hoping you’ll come”
Stacy:” don’t bet on it, next
time I might not be so lucky…so I have some theories of what happened but tell
me the real story”
Me:” its Lusani, the boy i was
grooming to take over…he did this to me to make me pay for how I treated him
when I was moarning my sister’s death…I am sure you know about my sister
passing”
Stacy:” yeah I am sorry”
Me:” so this is his way of
getting back at me…he is going to own everything I have Stacy, that boy is
power hungry so I decided to give him a
shot at being the big boss and come and chill”
Stacy:” So my assumptions were
right…I am not worried about what this boy has done…its your calmness that’s
scaring me”
Me:” don’t be scared, I could
use a break plus I don’t think he is working alone, he can’t pull this off by
himself so he is working with someone and until I find out who it is I cant get
out of here”
Stacy:” you do know that if you
want out then you can get out right? I can get you out of here or deal with
Lusani and whoever is with him…that’s a one day job for me”
Me:” I know”
Stacy:” you’ve grown…my son
has grown…I take what I said back about Rod turning in his grave…he’ll be proud
of you. You’ve always had a temper and I never thought you could be this calm”
Me:” well I am” she smiled
Stacy:” does this mean that
you have everything under control?” I nodded. The cop shouted that the time wass
up and that we only had 30 seconds to say goodbye
Me:” thank you somuch for
coming mom” she smiled. I loved calling her mom and we played about it…she
wasn’t old enough to be my mom but she treated me like her son and loved me the
same way that Rod loved me
Stacy:” always here for you and
if I see that things are spiralling out of control I might come back again but
we wont want to fuel suspicions so don’t expect me all the time Eigene, I am
better off watching you all frome the distance…Isabella is growing, I am happy
for her, she is living a normal life, a life I would never have given her” I
smiled…there was too much pain in her
Me:” I love you” I wanted her
to feel better and to feel that the family still cared, it must be draining to
have a family you cant be close to
Stacy:” I love you too son…if
you want a hand just make a sign and I will be here…I signal or something and I
will come…a death in this very prison can be a sign and I will make my way
here”
Me:” there is just one thing I
want youto do?”
Stacy:” okay”
Me:” I know you know about her
so keep her safe…you are about to be a grandmother, keep them safe” I saw a
flash of happiness across her face
Stacy:” I will do it from a
distance, I can’t stay in the country but I will make sure she is safe” we
looked at each other and smiled and then she got up and walked away, I walked
back to my cell
ANDANI
I got to the consultation room
and greeted the Doctor
Doc:” lie on the bed” I did as
instructed
Doc:” you father told me why
you are here…how far are you?”
Me:” it’s my fourth month” he
looked at me and breathed”
Doc:” its illegal but your
father is a good friend of mine and I owe him a favour so if its what you want
then we can get it done…just don’t tell anyone, you can say it was a
miscaurage”
Me:” okay” I said with my
shaky voice
Doc:” if it was less than 3
months old I would use a different method but its too risky now so you’ll use
the pill”
Me:” okay” he already had the
pills with him. He reached over on the table and handed me the glass of water
and the pill
Doc:” here” I took a glass of
water and the pill and looked at the Doctor and then at my tummy. I thought of
how I felt after the miscaurage, the emotional pain and emptiness I felt after
losing the twins. Was that how it was gonna be? Except that maybe this time it
would be worse because I will have to hold myself responsible as well. I
thought of Eugene, beside the fear that he’ll kill me…this was going to hurt
him, losing this baby was going to steal his happiness
Me:” I can’t” I said that
looking at the Doctor
Doc:” what? I thought you
wanted to”
Me:” he is forcing me to
because he don’t like the father” I might as well tell my father’s friends how
much of a control freak he was
Doc:” ow”
Me:” I cant do it Doctor, just
tell him that we did it, lie to him” the Doctor shook his head
Doc:” I think you need to tell
him the truth now, you can’t hide the baby forever, tell him the truth and get
it over with…I am not going to give you the pill if you don’t want to” I looked
at him and got off the bed
Me:” thank you” I said that
and got up and walked out of the building. I don’t know how my father was going
to react and I actually didn’t care. I had no plan but I’ll have to talk to
Lusani or work as a hooker but I was definitely not going to kill my child. I
got there and got inside the car
Dad:” done?”
Me:” I am not going to do it”
Dad:” Andani I mean what I
sa-“
Me:” I know you meant it and
its okay dad. You can keep my son and take every cent from me and Ria’s money
and his houses…I will stay in the streets if I have to but I am not killing my
child…now lets go home, I need to start making plans of survival”
My dad said nothing and I
looked at him only to find out that he was seriously fuming. He drove the car
in silence until we got home. I loved Eugene, I knew I loved him and I wasn’t
going to let our child be judged because of his doings, the child knew nothing.
We got home and I got out of the car and ran to the house. My son was sitting
on the floor with my mom sitting on the sofa. I couldn’t bear looking at him
knowing that I was leaving him here with them. I was not going to give my
father the fight that he wanted, I was going to let him be. I ran to my bedroom
to get my car keys. I took the car keys and looked around my room one more time
and and took my phone and walked out. My dad was in the lounge when I got there
Mom:” Andani”
Me:” its done mom…you take my
son, he is all yours and one day I will tel him the truth about how I left
home. He will look at his sibling and understand why I had to leave. He is my
son and no matter how far away from him I g…he will always be mine okay? My
son” I sobbed as I walk out of the house
Mom:”Andi” I turned around
Me:” stop! Stop Anding me” I
screamed
Me:” I am done with both of
you and ow just so you know…Eugene is rich...my damn criminal fiancée is filthy
rich and since I am not welcome here I am gonna go spend his money” I said that
and walked to my car. Both my mom and dad followed me
Me:’ and ow…I will transfer
everything to your names…the houses and the money…I will give it all to you”
Dad:” Andani”
Me:” you wanted to fight huh?
I am not going to fight you, I will give you everything you want and then you’ll
never see me again” I got inside my car and drove. My phone rang as soon as I drove
out of the gate. It was Lusani…what the hell did he want from me?
Me:” hello”I tried to sound
normal
Luu:” hey Andi, how is home?”
Me:” home is home” Eugene said
I shoulnt trust Lusani and that I shouldn’t let him know that we talked because
he’d knod Eugene knows something
Luu:” I have bad news”
Me:” out with it”
Luu:” Eugene is in jail” I
rolled my eyes
Me:” what? What happened?”
this moment? He chose this moment to call me so that I can start acting? Any
moment but this? God I was having a bad day already
Luu:” yeah I am sorry…its
various crimes but don’t worry I will do my best to deal with the whole
situation, I am going to see him
toay…will you by any chance come back to Cape Town?” Lusani wanted me to come
back to Cape Town? Well, it was good timing because I was on my way there but
what worried me was the reason why he wanted me back
Luu:” Andi? You’re gonna be able
to come?”
Me:” yeah…is he okay though?”
Luu:” he is fine…are you okay
though? With the break up…I am here for you remember? With Eugene gone you need
someone like me” I rolled my eyes
Me:” I wil see you when I get
there Luu” I hung up on him and cried even more. I was scared. I always felt
safe with Eugene around but now I was scared. I wanted to call Vhusani but she
never liked Eugene so talking to her was useless.
ZWI A PENGA – LIFE AS WE KNOW IT
Chapter 50
TSHILILO
Xolani was right outside when I got there. He was still
dancing with the kids. I was walking to Zoleka when he pulled my hand from the
back and I turned around to look at him with a smile on my face
Me:” I see you still have the moves” I was reminded of
our varsity days…the fun we had together with him and Thembu…damn we really do
come a long way
X:” so it’s starting already?” okay he looked pissed and
I was too happy to wipe off the smile I had on my face so I looked at him with
obvious confusion….just few seconds ago he was dancing with the kids and now
this?
Me:” I am lost Xolani”
X:” you and him?” he pointed at me and then back to the
house. I wasn’t a slow learner so I knew exactly what he was talking about
Me:” please not now…don’t ruin this” I said while looking
around the yard still with a smile on my face…I didn’t want him to ruin a rare
happy moment, we hadn’t been really happy in a long time
X:” it’s only been few weeks and you are already running
off with him for a damn quickie?”
That hit the nerve…it stung like a bee and I found myself
grabbing Xolani with his neck and then quickly letting him go because I
realised we were having a family afternoon with the kids. I wanted to scream
and sob so bad. How dare he? How dare he say something like this huh? I looked at him with my hands on my hips and
struggled to get the words out of my mouth…all I had were tears flowing down my
face. I turned around so that the kids won’t see me. I walked towards the fence
with him behind me. The kids didn’t notice, the music was still blasting.
Xolani followed me…I got to the fence and stood there with my hands against it
and my face looking down at my shoes…I was in so much pain I couldn’t even
explain it…everything just came back and it hurts so bad. I loved Thembuluwo, I
still did but he was gone. He left me not the other way around…how could Xolani
think that I would just move on from him like that huh?
X:” so this is how it’s gonna be? You’re just gonna move
to my other brother? Can you at least show Thembuluwo some respect? Wait at
least two months or something?” my hands were in fists by now and I squeezed on
them so tight. I turned around and looked at him
Me:” I loved your brother…you know I did. Even with his
cheating and a baby with someone else I still loved him. Yes I am also not perfect
but one thing for sure is that I loved him. We both know that. How can you
think that I can just easily move on huh? You think this is easy for me? You
think I am enjoying all this? Its painful Xolani…it’s so painful I can hardly
recognise myself. I wasn’t sleeping with Ndivhuwo…I will never do that to
Thembu…not now anyway”
X:” not now anyway? So sometime in the future then?” I
stretched my hand to slap him but he caught my hand mid air
X:” I am not them okay? I am not my brothers and you
don’t get to flaunt your panty and I get confused” God that hurt
Me:” Ndivhuwo found out that the baby was his…it’s the
reason why he ran to the house…he was crying and I was just comforting
him…that’s all, now instead of being a dumbass to me maybe you should try being
a brother to him? How about that?”
X:” what? The baby was his?”
Me:” sorry to disappoint but the big bad slut Tshililo
wasn’t having a quickie” I said that and turned around to walk to the kids. He
grabbed my hand
X:” Tshililo I am sorry”
Me:” I am a whore according to you so just let me go” I
snatched my hand and walked back to the kids.
The remaining hours of the afternoon went well. I tried
my level best to continue having fun. That evening we had dinner together as a
family and then late at night went to sleep. I tried to fall asleep you know, I
tried to close my eyes and sleep but whenever I close them I saw Thembuluwo’s
face. I missed him so much it hurts. I gave up on trying to sleep. I checked
the time and it was past two in the morning. I took my car keys and walked out
of my room and out of the house. I got inside the car and drove out of the
house. I had no idea where I was going but I felt suffocated and unable to
breathe inside that yard. I wanted some air; I wanted a little bit of breathing.
I drove through the Punda Maria road towards Thohoyandou. I got to Thavhani
mall robots and drove straight and went to Thohoyandou stadium. I had no idea
what I was doing there but I wanted some quietness and I expected to find it
there.
I got out of my car with a gun on my hand. I looked
around and the place looked really empty. I stood there at the parking lot with
my back against my car and just sobbed. I felt tired, like really tired. I sunk
down to the floor and sat with my legs stretched out and cried. I still had the
gun on my hand. I wanted the pain to go away; I wanted everything to be easy. I
was crying for everything…I was crying for losing Thembuluwo because I missed
him so bad and I was also crying because there was Ndivhuwo and although I
wanted him close to me to ease the pain I knew that it looked wrong so I
couldn’t do that. I also cried because I wanted him to move on and be happy, I
hated myself and parts of me blamed myself for Katherine…if I didn’t try to
kill her maybe she wouldn’t have tried to runaway and he wouldn’t have killed
her and his baby. I was sitting like that crying when I heard a car pull over
on the other side of my car. I quickly stopped crying and got my gun ready and
got up. I looked at the car while making sure that the driver can’t see me but
I relaxed when I noticed that it was Ndivhuwo’s car. I took a sigh of relief
and sat back down…I was wondering how he found me but he was Ndivhuwo afterall.
I heard him open and close his door and then I heard his feet as he walked to
me. He came and stood in front of me and folded his hands on his chest and
looked down on me. I looked at him once and then away
Ndiv:” do you have any freakin idea how much you scared
me? Gosh Tshililo don’t pull stunts like this ever again”
Me:” no one was supposed to know I was gone”
Ndiv:” with everything that’s going on you didn’t expect
me to be fast asleep did you? I heard a car drove out and I noticed it was
yours, I went to your room and you were gone” he looked like he was really worried
Me:” I needed some air” I showed him the gun just to show
him that I was going to keep myself safe. I then put the gun on the floor close
to me
Ndiv:” is that supposed to make it okay? You are a woman
and men do insane things to women sitting alone at a parking lot in the early
hours of the morning”
Me:” I am sorry I just…I needed air” I wiped the tears
because talking to him triggered everything. He sighed and then came and
squatted infront of me
Ndiv:” talk to me” I shook my head
Ndiv:” I mean it…I am gonna sit here and let you talk
about how you are feeling. I won’t judge you or anything like that….talking
will help you heal. Remember how I used to call you even at mid night just to
cry on the phone because I missed you and my twin? You can do the same…I am
still that same person” he sat close to me and pulled me to him and I rested my
head on his lap
Ndiv:” you miss him?”
Me:” you’re sure you don’t mind?”
Ndiv:” not at all love”
Me:” I am sorry about the baby…I really am. I feel like
if I didn’t try to kill her then she wouldn’t have tried to escape and that
your baby would still be here…it’s my fault”
Ndiv:” don’t do that to yourself, none of that is your
fault…so about him…how is that going?” he brushed my hair with his hands
Me:” I miss him so much Ndivhuwo, I am trying my best you
know but it’s hard”
Ndiv:” you truly loved him so it can’t be easy”
Me:” I am tired most of the times”
Ndiv:” I know that feeling…I will be here for you though”
I looked up at him
Me:” I still feel like I don’t deserve any of this. I
mean I don’t even know when I will be ready for anything or if I will ever be
ready for anything”
Ndiv:” well, I am sure I don’t want anything with anyone
else other than you and if you can’t have anything at all then we will be
having nothing together…me and you Tshili, I don’t want to play games or get to
know anyone else…its either you or nothing” I looked at him and shook my head
Ndiv:” now don’t say anything, just rest okay” there…looking
at Ndivhuwo’s eyes I saw a flash of hope…I saw a little bit of hope that maybe
I can still be happy.
ANDANI
I don’t know if being this tired was good for the baby
but it was around three in the morning and I was still on the road. I could
have stayed in the motel for the night but I was too angry and my mind was all
over the place so I didn’t want to be alone for the whole night so I chose to
drive. I spent the whole afternoon sitting at a restaurant in town and only
started driving late afternoon. I thought sitting there would help me calm down
before I could start driving but it didn’t help. I decided to call Tshililo
while on my way. I wasn’t sure if it was a good idea to ask for her help but
Ndivhuwo trusted the Vhadaus so I had to do this for myself and the baby. I had
to pretend to Lusani like I didn’t care much about Eugene, doing that will
ensure my safety. I could choose to go stay with the Vhadaus but Lusani was
determined to be on power and there was no telling what he could do. If he
could be this cruel to Eugene then what about me? I dialled Tshililo’s number.
I knew she was sleeping but I had to do this now.
Tshili:” hello” okay she didn’t sound like someone who
was sleeping and that shocked me
Me:” hey”
Tshili:” what’s this about now? Eugene is not home and
you think he is with me? Well he is not”
Me:” it’s not about that…I am sorry about everything
Tshililo”
Tshili:” its past three in the morning and you are giving
me a call to apologise? I am not dumb so tell me what you want…you obviously
need my help”
Me:” uhm…Eugene is arrested”
Tshili:” what? For what?”
Me:” for everything Tshili…every criminal activity he’s
done”
Tshili:” wow…so you need protection?”
Me:” I think I have protection but I need more than that”
Tshili:” I am listening”
Me:” Lusani framed Eugene, well not really framed him but
he got Eugene arrested and the police have all kind of evidence against him”
Tshili:” do I know Lusani?”
Me:” Eugene’s right hand man…he wanted to be in power so
he got Eugene arrested”
Tshili:” that Lusani is quite dumb though, if I wanted
someone’s empire then I’ll just kill them...not get them arrested” I was
thankful that Lusani didn’t choose killing Eugene, that would have been tragic
Me:” I know…so this is where you come in”
Tshili:” you want us to help him get out?”
Me:” no…I want you to go visit him for me…I will give you
a message to take with you. Lusani doesn’t know that Eugene knows that he is
behind the arrest and I am also not supposed to know and according to Lusani’s
books…Eugene and I are not talking…my safety lies with this Lusani prick so I
have to keep on acting so that he can keep me safe while Eugene is away”
Tshili:” quite a game don’t you think?”
Me:” I can pull it off…so can you help?” she went quite
for a while
Tshili:” I wanted a little break from the scheming and
everything that comes with it…I wanted a clean start and with the things you
said to me the other day…tell me why I should interrupt my peace for you”
Me:” please Tshililo”
Tshili:” okay I will tell you when I will go”
Me:” thank you” I smiled
Tshili:” don’t…I am doing this for him…he is a good
friend” she said that and hung up. I shook my head thinking that I was crazy to
think that Eugene and Tshililo could hit it off.
I got to Cape Town in the morning. I was pulling up at
KFC drive through for breakfast when a woman parked behind me got out of her
car and walked to my car
“Andani”
Me:” hi” I looked at her expecting to remember where I
knew her from but I didn’t know her
“You’re a real beauty” she smiled
Me:” uhm I am sorry…do I know you?”
“My name is Stacy” she smiled…at first I was lost but
then it finally dawned on me that Rod’s wife was Stacy
Me:” uhm…no” she was a Mexican so it’s got to be her
Me:” but he said…uhm…Eugene sai…”
“I know what he said…how is my little one doing?” I
looked at her and wasn’t sure if I could trust her…what if this was some kind
of a trap to kidnap me huh?
Me:”Until Eugene tells me otherwise, I am not going to
believe that you exist” I said that and drove off
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