NDIVHUWO
The first thing that came to my mind when I realised what just happened was Tshililo. I needed to make sure that she was okay. I was more worried about her than I ever was about myself. I quickly looked at her side and her eyes were closed and she also had blood on her forehead. Oww no….i couldn’t lose her again. For a second there I thought she was dead…I went into a serious panic attack and I felt my body starting to fail me…I wanted to help her out of the car and feel her pulse and do whatever I could to help her survive but my body couldn’t let me. I started convulsing and closed my eyes slowly. I was slowly closing my eyes when I saw her opening hers and that was the last thing I saw.
I woke up some minutes later and I was out of the car with paramedics around me and Tshililo kneeling on my right hand. She had been crying and her face lit up when she saw me looking around in confusion. I guess the paramedics didn’t take time to show up. I didn’t understand what just happened to me…I’d been through some serious scary as hell s*** in my life and not once had I experienced a panic attack, it had never happened to me before and I didn’t understand why it happened now. Was I so scared of losing her? Was that it? The thought of losing her was enough to cause me a panic attack?
Tshili:” you’re okay?” she asked with a worried voice and that alone soothed my heart and I was finally glad that she was okay
Me:” I am fine…how about you?” I really was worried about her; she was the reason why I lost it in the first place
Tshili:” I am fine, I’ve just been worried about you “ she was crying
Paramedic:” we will have to take you guys to the hospital to get checked up thoroughly and to make sure that he is really okay”
Me:” no I am not going th-“
Tshili:” yes you are….you passed out Ndivhuwo and we don’t even know if something else is wrong so we are going to the hospital” I looked at her and wanted to smile…the kind of worry in her face was something that I actually needed, I needed to feel that she loved me and that she was here for me and that’s exactly what she made me feel.
Ndiv:” okay, you heard the lady but I am not letting you carry me on a stretcher, I will walk to the car” I saw Tshililo smiling and shaking her head. I got up with one paramedic on my left and he helped me walk to the car. I was feeling fine, nothing hurt. I remembered back to the accident and I realised that the accident was not really an accident. Someone was trying to get us killed, someone caused the stupid accident. I looked back at the truck that drove into us and memorised its number plate and then looked around for the driver
Me:” where is the driver of the truck?” I asked the paramedic
Paramedic:” over there? he is really sorry about the whole thing…his truck lost control and then boom! But hey…you know how the cops don’t care about that…it’s a good thing you guys are all alive, otherwise he’d be charged with murder”
Me:” are they charging him with anything though?”
Paramedic:” they are g-“
Me:” no okay cool, I will find out about that myself and deal with this” the paramedic raised an eyebrow
Me:” never mind” he nodded and helped me into the ambulance. I sat on the stretcher instead of sleeping. Tshililo came and got in.
Paramedic:” are you going to be find without me here? No pain at all?”
Me:” we’re good” the paramedic guy walked away and closed the door for us
Tshili:” are you sure you are not feeling any pain?” she looked serious
Me:” I am sure”
Tshili:” Ndivhuwo you can tell me if something is not right”
Ndiv:” I am okay Tshililo you can stop worrying”
Tshili:” I almost lost you…Ndivhuwo you have no idea how that felt like okay?”
Ndiv:” actually I do…it’s the reason why I had a panic attack”
Tshili:” panic attack? I thought you collided your head with something” she was sitting on the bench that was parallel to my bed and she was facing me
Me:” I was okay after the accident and you went quiet for a while with your eyes closed…I really thought I had lost you again, I am not ready to go through the same pain I went through the first time I lost you” she looked at me and then away
Tshili:”I thought I lost you too” the sadness in her voice broke me
Me:” I am here and I won’t go anywhere…you are here too” she still looked away and not at me.
Me:” Tshili” she went quiet
Me:” Tshililo look at me” she shook her head
Me:” Tshili please”
Tshili:” I was scared” she finally looked at me and there was pain on the way she talked
Tshili:” you don’t know how I felt when you lay there Ndivhuwo, I thought I had lost you” she had tears in her eyes by now
Me:” you won’t lose me”
Tshili:” I can’t afford to lose you Ndivhuwo you know that right? I can’t live this life on my own, I don’t have the strength to carry on by myself, I don’t see myself ever going on” she said that and let out a light sob. I just looked at her and froze. The right thing to do would be to hug her but I found myself frozen and unable to say anything. She told me something that I had yearned to hear for a very long time. I knew that she meant it, maybe because Thembu was not here but what mattered was that she said those words
Tshili:” you can’t leave me, please” I blinked looking at her
Me:” I won’t leave you love…I won’t ever leave you Tshili. I’ve always been there for you and I won’t die anytime soon okay?”
Tshili:”okay”
Me:” I am the guy that sticks around and up to so far I’ve been good at it so I won’t disappoint, not ever” she looked at me and nodded
Tshili:” it just hurt so bad…the thought of you out of the picture…it hurts” I was reminded of the time she chose Thembu over me…when she chose him to live and me to die but I dismissed the thoughts. She did that largely because Thembu was her husband and the father of her child so she had to choose him
Me:” you do know that we are only going to spend about an hour at the hospital and then I have to leave so that I can start working right?” she gave me a sad look
Me:” I will keep myself safe because that’s what you are stressed about but I have to find out who did this to us”
Tshili:” will the Doctor’s let you go?”I gave her a smile
Me:” like I give a s*** what the Doctor say”
Tshili:” okay what’s the plan? I won’t be able to stop you so I might as well join you”
Ndiv:” I had my laptop in the car and I am not sure if it’s still okay but if it is then we need to get a hotel and I need to do some serious work…after finding out who did this then I will have to eliminate the problem and then start working on releasing Eugene, we also have to find out if Andani is still okay…that Lusani boy can’t be trusted but if the laptop is not okay then we’re gonna have to make a quick plan to get to George”
Tshili:” do you think it’s about Katherine?”
Ndiv:” either that or Lusani….either way I will take them out”
Tshili:” I am worried about the kids at home and you…I am scared for both of us” she said in a whisper
Ndiv:” I know you to be strong, small things like this don’t scare you Tshililo….be that girl love…be the girl that swallow anything no matter how bitter it is…I know this might be a big fight that we are about to engage in but we always come out alive and this time it won’t be different”
Tshili:” it’s not the same anymore…I never lost anyone because of this before and it was almost like a game we played and we always won but now s*** is really hitting the f*****g fan…people are dying and they don’t come back Ndivhuwo. I don’t sleep at night, I have these horrible nightmares about the whole family being murdered…I can’t lose any family member, we can’t lose anyone anymore”
Ndiv:” we won’t okay?” I wanted to hug her but I was not sure if she’ll want me to. We loved each other and that was an undeniable truth but we weren’t into serious dating s*** yet…she was still healing and I had to let her be…I didn’t want to start pressurising her
Tshili:” okay”
LUSANI
I sat in Eugene’s house as the guys clean up the basement and felt proud of myself knowing that I had everything under control. There was one thing stressing me and worrying me…my heart hurt for the baby I killed, it was heartless and no matter how hard I was trying I couldn’t erase the picture of that foetus as I removed it from Andani. I felt like him…like I was Eugene and parts of me hated that. I didn’t like him at times because he was too ruthless and if I become like him then what will that make me? The lady who came here was not going to come back. I doubled the security to make sure that she doesn’t make her way back here. I was also worried about the car accident….that Mudau guy and his girl were supposed to die but the nigga failed to kill them…who fails to kill people driving a damn maserati with a damn truck huh? I wanted to erase that Mudau guy in order to stop him from meddling in my affairs but now that I failed on my first attempt I’d have to try again or maybe I should wait and see if they’ll stick around here or go back home. If they go back home and never set a foot back here and stop meddling then I wouldn’t worry. My phone rang as I was sitting there thinking…it was Katlego…
Me:” Katlego”
Katlego:” hey Luu how is it going?”
Me:” it’s okay I guess…Andani is not pregnant anymore and the Vhadaus were in a car accident, they didn’t die but I am hoping they will take the hint and stay away”
Katlego:” what? Andani is not pregnant? How?”
Me:” I happened, I made the baby disappear”
Katlego:” oww no Lusani hurting the baby was not on the plan” she wasn’t too happy
Me:” when I find out that Eugene knows the truth about me sending him to jail I had to act…I had to do anything to avenge the pain he made me feel and to show him that I meant business”
Katlego:” wait a minute…you said he knows? Eugene knows?” she was panicking
Me:” yeah bu-“
Katlego:” but nothing, we are dead” she screamed
Me:” stop stressing Katlego Eugene will never get out of jail…I will make sure of that”
Katlego:” ow my God, I am not sure if this is a good idea anymore…and I don’t know how I am supposed to trust you with my child after telling me that you got rid of Andi’s baby”
Me:” are you saying what I think you are saying?”
Katlego:” of course I am…Eugene is the father of my child Luu and you know the truth about that…how am I supposed to trust that you won’t kill her too?” I couldn’t believe that Katlego just said that to me
Me:” seriously? Eugene don’t even know that the child is his and you don’t want him to know too so why would I kill your child?”
ANDANI
I was in the house with him. We were in the garden having a picnic with Omphulusa and our new born baby. Omphulusa was playing with a little puppy that Eugene got him and the baby was sleeping in Eugene’s arms
Me:” you do know that you must give him a name right?” Eugene looked at me and smiled
Eugene:” I am still getting used to the idea that I have a baby cupcake” the smile on his face was priceless, nothing can be compared to it, it was a genuine smile of someone who was entirely happy
Me:” our boy” I smiled too
Eugene:” we have two boys Andi”
Eugene:” I will call him Lebogang…it was my mother’s name but it’s a unisex name so it can work right?”
Me:” perfectly well cupcake…our little Lebo” I said that and kissed the baby.
“Andi…Andani please come back…Andani!” I looked around as I heard someone’s voice screaming
Me:” who is that?”
Gee:” who is where?”
Me:” someone is calling me”
Gee:” I don’t hear anything”
“Andani don’t do this to him please” I stood up looking around. The first thing I noticed was my son disappearing into thin air
Me:” oww my God what just happened to my son?” I said that screaming and running to where he was and he was gone. I looked back at Eugene and the baby and they were also disappearing on me
Me:” oww my God no, Eugene don’t leave me, Eugene don’t leave with my baby”
I screamed as I felt the pain of losing yet another child. I opened my eyes and took quick breaths and started looking around. I was back to reality, to the hospital room and to the horror that was now my life. I wanted to escape this; I wanted to live in the dream. I looked around and my eyes met Stacy’s and there was sadness coupled with thankfulness in her eyes…I couldn’t give anything away. I felt numb, like my whole being was paralysed, I didn’t know whether to cry or to run away or to kill myself…all I know is that I felt totally lost and empty, I didn’t know who I was anymore.
ZwiLife
Insert 57
Katlego:” you’ve turned into him Luu…killing an innocent baby? I never told Eugene that he was the father of my daughter because I knew that he was going to take my child away from me because I had cheated …I couldn’t let my baby have him as a father…I couldn’t let my baby grow up around the guns and the killings and I didn’t want my child to be used as a leverage and I don’t regret my decision to protect my child, I did what any mother would do and I am proud of myself. So whatever you do Luu…Eugene must rot in jail and my child never need to know him and I want nothing of his, with Eugene out of the picture then I have a guarantee that he’ll never find out and that he’ll never be in her life”
Luu:” I will make sure that he rots in jail Katlego…that was the agreement from the start remember? I get to take everything he owns and you get to have an assurance that he’ll never find that the child is his and your child can lead a normal life”
Katlego:” yeah, I am doing this for my child and that’s why I am not happy with you killing the poor baby”
Luu:” I had to do it”
Katlego:” I trust that you’ll do anything in your power to fix this and if you need my help just shout” I smiled
Me:” I am the big boss now, I have people working for me so I doubt that I will need your help, focus on being the best mom and I will focus on this”
Katlego:” I don’t know about you but there are parts of me that feel bad for him but Eugene was never going to change. I tried to get him back to me, to get him back in my corner hoping that maybe he’ll give me a chance again and then maybe I can talk him into quitting the business and focus on being a dad but he never gave me any time of day and instead he kept giving me punishment after punishment. He was never going to change and even though I feel bad because part of me still love him…I know this is what my daughter need, Eugene was too powerful and one way or the other he was going to find out the truth so I had to do this for my child”
Luu:” I know what you mean K, I feel bad too but the nigga pushed my hand, he treated me like a child half the time and he almost killed me, if you didn’t beg him he would have killed me, all for what? For trying to look out for him and for giving him an advice?”
Katlego:” I just pray that you don’t become his clone” that hit home, I wanted to be powerful and all but I didn’t want to be like him, I didn’t want to be so lonely and so ruthless and yet so clingy to the girl that shows me interest like he was with Andani
Luu:” I will try my best not to, as for his baby, I had to do it”
Katlego:” if you say so”
NDIVHUWO
The ambulance drove us to Rondebosch Medical Centre private hospital. It was my first time being in this place and I wanted to leave already. I was worried about not knowing who caused the accident. The sooner I find out the sooner I could be able to deal with the person. The paramedics came and open the van door at the back and Tshili and I got out. He insisted that I sat on the stretcher and I insisted that I don’t want to. He gave up and let me walk in. I didn’t want to spend more than one hour in this place, this better not take long
Tshili:” stop thinking too much” she said as we walk inside the building
Me:” I can’t help it, someone tried to kill us, you don’t expect me to just chill do you?”
Tshili:” no but Ndivhuwo you had a panic attack and we don’t even know what caused it, don’t think too much” I rolled my eyes
Me:” you’re serious? I had a panic attack because I thought you were dead not because I was thinking too much, I am fine, I am totally fine” I was starting to lose my cool
Tshili:” okay cool you are fine”
Paramedic:” we are going this way” we followed him to another section of the hospital. He went to the nurses and talk to them briefly and then one of the nurses came to us with a clipboard that was with the paramedic and showed me to an empty room and asked me to sit on the bed. Tshililo was with me the whole time
Nurse:” can you just leave us alone for a second”
Me: I want her to stay” she looked at us for a second
Tshili:” please”
Nurse:” okay” The doctor walked in and greeted us and then took the clipboard from the nurse and go through the documents
Doc:” how are you feeling now?”
Me:” as good as new”
Doc:” I know you want to leave sir but this is important, if you are feeling any kind of pain it is advisable to tell me so that we can look it up”
Me:” I am fine, honestly”
Doc:” okay you had a panic attack and we want to do a brain scan to determine what was the cause and to figure out if you sustained any brain injuries during the accident” ahg f*** this
Me:” okay it was good meeting you Doctor but I honestly have no time for brain scans and everything else you want to do to me, so thank you but we have to leave as in yesterday”
Doc:” sir this is impor-“
Me:” I understand but we have to go…Tshililo let’s get out of here”
Tshili:” thank you for your time Doctor” I stood up and walked out of the room with Tshililo by my side
Tshili:” I understand the urgency of leaving this place but what if something is really wrong?” she was whispering
Me:” nothing is wrong, I feel normal” we ran into the paramedic that drove us as we were walking out. He had a black plastic bag
Paramedic:” here are the items we confiscated from your car…the insurance company gave us these”
Me:” thank you” he gave us the plastic bag and walked away. We walked outside the building and sat on the bench outside.
Tshili:” let’s hope the laptop is working”
Me:” let’s hope so” I took out the laptop and our phones. The laptop was cracked on top…I opened it and the screen was cracked with a blue dots all over…it was not going to work. I tried switching it on but it didn’t work. I sat back and looked at Tshili
Tshili:” what now?”
Me:” you won’t like this love but we have no choice”
Tshili:” what?”
Me:”I am going to hire another vehicle and you are going to drive back to George by yourself”
Tshili:” and you?”
Me:” I have to go to prison and get Eugene out and you will give me access to the place” she gave me a confused look
Me:” you are going to my farm house and to my computer room…I will guide you on how to login and operate everything…you’ll have to hack into the prison system and activate my fingerprints to be able to have access inside…all the prison warders and workers use fingerprints to enter so you are going to activate mine and I will make a plan to get the uniform and go in there and get Eugene” Tshililo sat back and looked at me, she looked tired
Me:” you are the only one i trust to go into that house alone Tshililo, you can do this”
Tshili:” I am taking both guns” she had the guns on her and they were hidden by the jacket she was wearing…Tshililo never cease to amaze me so after the accident she managed to get the guns before the paramedics got there
Me:” yeah take the guns with you and be on the lookout love, we can’t afford for anything to happen to you okay?”
Tshili:” okay, and what will you be doing as I drive to George?”
Me:” I will have to go check on Andani and see how she is doing…she will have to tell me a little bit more about Lusani”
Tshili:” okay” a white lady was passing by but then she turned around and came to us
Lady:” hey”
Tshili:” hi”
Lady:” I couldn’t help but hear that you mentioned Andani and then Lusani…and even though we might have 100s Andani…I am sure it can’t be a coincidence that you also mentioned Lusani”
Me:” so? What’s in it to you?” she gave me a cocky smile
Lady:” I am Andani’s mother in law so I am concerned when strangers mention her name after what happened to her”
Tshili:” Eugene is black ma’am so you can’t be his mom and Andani is our friend…if anything you might be the enemy”
Lady:” I am Eugene’s adoptive mother and if by any chance you guys are working for Lusani and planning on taking her out too then you are sadly-“
Tshili:” hold on a minute, what do you mean taking her out too”
Me:” is Andani here?” there was panic in my voice and Tshililo looked at me with panic too
Lady:” how do I know that you can be trusted?”
Tshili:” if anything is wrong with Andani you better tell us…is she okay?” she was seriously panicking
Lady:” I don’t know if I can trust you” she walked away and we followed her
Me:” ma’am we are Eugene and Andani’s friends”
Lady:” give me your names and I will find out from her if you really are her friends and if you are then you are going to stay here while I ask her about you guys”
Tshili:” my name is Tshililo or Tshili…please tell her I am here”
Lady:” I will only be a minute” she disappeared. I looked at Tshililo who looked back at me
Tshili:” the baby better be okay” she started pacing
Me:” come here” she stopped and looked at me
Tshili:” what?”
Me:” come”
I opened my arms for a hug. I was not sure if she’d want me to hug her but it seemed like the only logical thing to do at that moment, she was too tense and scared and panicking. She just stood in one place and looked away. I went to her and hugged her
Me:” I know we don’t have anything under control right now but it will be fine okay?” she just held me tight and said nothing
“You can follow me” we broke the hug and looked at the lady we just spoke to and we followed her inside the building and to a particular room. We walked in and I spotted Andani sleeping on the bed. Tshililo ran to her
Tshili:” Andi? Are you okay?” Andani looked at Tshililo and then at me
Andi:” the baby is gone” she said the last word and tears gushed down her face and she didn’t cry but just let the tears fall. Tshililo covered her mouth with her hand
Tshii:” I am so sorry” she took Andi’s hand and squeezed it
Andi:” I didn’t get a miscarriage…Lusani operated on me and removed the…th…the”
She broke down…Tshililo sat on the chair and cried….i looked at Andani and didn’t know what to do or say. So Lusani was a psychopath huh? I was heartless and all that but I would never do that to anyone…what did Andani ever do to him? His fight was with Eugene not Andani. I stood there and thought of myself when I killed Katherine knowing that she was carrying my child…it wasn’t the same was it? I didn’t kill just the baby, Katherine had to die because she endangered our family but Andani was not dangerous…Lusani was just plain heartless
Tshili:” I am so sorry Andani” The lady that brought us to the room just stood there leaning against the wall and showed no emotion at all.
Me:” Tshili we have to leave” Tshililo turned around and looked at me with a shocked questioning look
Me:” I know you want to stay here with her Tshili but you won’t bring the baby back…Lusani is more crazy and more dangerous than we all thought and its possible that he caused our accident so I have to get Eugene out of there soon before he kills him...he killed an unborn baby, do you think he’ll think twice before killing Eugene? I know this hurts love but we have to act fast…this changes everything, we’ve been looking at Lusani as an amateur this whole time but we have been looking at him the wrong way...he learned from Eugene…he learned from the best and as much as I hate to say this that boy has Eugene’s power on his sleeves, he has his army, his machines and his money”
Lady:” whatever you are planning I want in” I raised an eyebrow and shook my head
Me:” sorry ma’am but-“
Lady:” you don’t know who I am or what I do or maybe I should tell you. I am the woman who made Eugene who and what he is today…my husband and I made him so with that said….lets go out and talk business”
Tshili:” I am sorry Andi but we have to go” she just nodded and looked away. The lady walked to her
Lady:” you are strong Andi and that’s why Eugene chose you, cry baby, cry for as much as you want to cry…wewill come back with my son okay? We will bring him to you” she kissed Andani on the forehead and then walked to us
Lady:” you can call me Stacy by the way”
Me:” okay Stacy lets go”
Zwi a Penga – Life As We Know It
Insert 58
NDIVHUWO
We walked out of the building and stood outside
Stacy:” so what’s the plan?”
Me:” the initial plan was for her to go to George and I was going to guide her to give me access to the prison” Stacy raised her eyebrows
Me:” I was gonna guide her on how to hack into the prison system and get my fingerprints access to the building but now that you’ve joined our team then there is obviously going to be a change in our plan”
Tshili:” what’s the new plan?”
Me:” I will go to George myself and do the hacking myself and then the two of you will have to get into the building and get him out. I will send you the layout plan of the building so that you don’t get lost or look suspicious” Tshililo breathed and Stacy only looked like she was up to it
Me:” I will only need your name and surname Stacy so that I can get your fingerprints from the home affairs system and then use them to give you access
Stacy:” well, we might have a little problem with that”
Me:” how so?”
Stacy:” I am actually dead”
Tshili:” what?” Tshili and I looked at each other
Stacy:” not dead dead because I am here with you guys but i don’t exist on the system anymore”
Ndiv:” not a problem at all” I took out my phone and went on the camera and took one picture of her
Stacy:” and that?”
Ndiv:” that picture will give me everything I need” I then started looking around and then walked inside the building and to the reception and asked for a clean paper. I came back with the paper
Me:” put both your hands here”
Stacy:” for my fingerprints?”
Me:” yeah, I will scan them when I get to George”
Stacy:” I like you already” she smiled and Tshililo gave her a death stare, was she jealous? She should know me enough to understand that no one could compete with her plus Stacy was pretty old, not too old though but she was definitely older than me
Me:” I would be surprised if you don’t” she did as I asked and I then folded the paper and put it on my jean pocket
Me:”uhm…sorry Stacy can I have a word alone with her before we start working?”
Stacy:” no problem” I looked at Tshililo
Me:” Tshili come” she gave me a concerned look and then followed me.
I went to a quiet corner of the building where it was just me and her
Tshili:” what’s wrong?” she stood against the wall and I walked closer to her and put both my hands on the wall on both side of her and looked straight into her eyes
Tshili:” Ndivhu” she called me Ndivhu and I wanted to smile and celebrate for that, I guess we were getting there. Or where we? Something else was developing in me and I didn’t know what to make of it. Maybe it was because of everything else I’d been through with her
Me:” I want you to know that I love you, whatever happens love…Ndivhuwo loves you” she started swallowing and then looked down and then back at me
Tshili:” Ndivhuwo what’s going on?”
Me:” nothing is going on, I just want to say this before we leave this hospital. I know what I said earlier on about not leaving you and I intend to keep my promise but a lot is at stake here. We have the Kenyans and the Nigerians and then Lusani on our tail, I don’t even know who caused the accident and I am about to drive back to George right now and you are going to stay here. We will be apart for few hours and I want you to remember one thing during those hours, I love you and I want you to stay safe…whatever happens Tshili, stay safe….for me please and I will do the same, I will do my best to stay safe for you” my eyes never left hers throughout my speech
Tshili:” we will make it, we have to…for ourselves and for the family, we can’t leave Xolani alone to take care of everyone”
Me:” now that’s my girl”
She put her hands on my chest and looked at my eyes…I looked at her as I felt my body burning with desire and just like that…with just her touch and my manhood was aroused and all I wanted was one quickie round with her before this whole escapade finally start. She stood on her toes and tried to kiss me but I removed my hands from the wall and turned around from her. I hated myself for doing that,I should have done it, I should have kissed her but I couldn’t.
Tshili:” uhm…I thought you wanted to” she said as she stood behind me
Me:” yeah I want to”
Tshili:”so?”
Me:”you are still mourning” I turned around and looked at her
Tshili:” I just wanted to do that one thing before the drama start, just one thing”
Me:” I know that and its kinda what I want too but at the same time I don’t want to let myself fall for this again, I want to be sure”
Tshili:” this being?” she wanted to cry by now
Me:” I kept begging you and begging you because I thought it was going to be easy and that the moment you say we still stand a chance then everything can go back to normal and I will gladly wait for you to be ready for us to start over but it’s not like that Tshili. I can’t forget the fact that you’ve chosen someone else over me three times in counting and that makes me to question lot of things. I am scared to give myself fully to you the same way I did when you told me you chose me and you end up reversing your decision and chose someone else. I am just…as much as I hate to admit but I am scared of us…of you, I feel like you’ll hurt me again and I don’t know if this time around I will be able to be as cool about it as I had been in the past” she wiped of a tear from one eyes and folded her hands on her chest and looked away
Tshili:” so you think I will leave you again?”
Me:” you’ve done it several times, I had made peace with you not choosing me and now that we have a chance, how do I just accept it and not doubt your loyalty towards me? I know you love me Tshili, I have no doubt about that but how do I know that you won’t find another reason to stay away? I have always been there you know…I have risked my life for you time and time again even when I knew that you weren’t mine so I am quite sure about how deep I love you and I know how much I have suffered each time I lost you. I always wear a brave face and pretend to be okay but I wasn’t” she finally looked at me
Tshili:” what do you want me to do?”
Me:” nothing, I want us to just live and hope that finally I will accept that this time around your mind is really made up”
Tshili:” so, no kiss?”
Me:” no kiss” I never realised my fear of losing her again until she touched my chest and was about to kiss me. At that moment I knew that I wanted her to be with me and I wanted her to be with me for good. I didn’t want her to give me hope and then take that away from me. I wanted to give her more time to be sure that she really wanted this
Tshili:” let’s get this started…and just remember that I am yours, you have me to live for Ndivhu, I will prove to you that this time around I won’t break your heart”
Ndiv:” let’s get going” I turned around to walk away but she ran to me and took my hand to hers
Tshili:” I am here” she looked at me and her eyes gave me the kind of hope I needed. We walked back to Stacy with our fingers locked
Stacy:” I bet you were giving each other a proper goodbye, I know the feeling, I did that every time Rod and I were facing a serious threat” she said with a smile that only meant that she really missed the ‘Rod’ she was talking about
Me:” you know this all too well”
Tshili:” what do we do now?” I looked at our hands that were still locked and then back at Tshili and then Stacy
Me:” i have to get a lift to the dealer and quickly hire a vehicle and you two have to keep yourselves busy while I drive to George. It’s a four to five hours drive but I intend to get there in just three hours”
Stacy:” I think we will stay here with Andani, it’s a private hospital and as long as we pay the bills they will let us stay for as long as we want”’
Tshili:” be safe”
Me:” I will”
Stacy:” please don’t fail, we have to get him out of there. But if you fail I can always make another plan but yours seem much easier so it better work…I want my son back and I want that psychopath occupying his house and taking over his business and his whole life to be dealt with in a way that only Eugene can”
There…right there in her tone was the love she had for her adoptive son Eugene. I felt my heart aching a little bit, I wished I had a mom or someone to love me that much, someone who could do anything and everything to free me and to make sure that I get my revenge to whoever hurt me. I was always that person to my family but I was not sure if they could all die for me. I had that person once…the kind of person who would die on my place, actually he did die on my place….i missed him…no day passes without me missing him. I removed my hand from Tshililo as I question her loyalty to me…would she die for me? There was no question about whether I would die for her because I’d do it without a second thought but can she do the same for me? She tried to take my hand again but I folded my hands on my chest
Me:” we won’t fail Stacy…you’ll get your son back…now do you have a car?” she looked over to an old Corolla parked on the parking lot across us
Stacy:” right there” I found myself smiling
Me:” okay, see you ladies in few hours…once I activate your access to the prison then you’ll go free Eugene and give him changing clothes and then the rest of you will have to make your way to the police station or see if Eugene don’t have someone in the station who can at least switch Eugene’s computers on and put the external hardrives into a computer so that I can wipe everything they have as evidence against him. You also have to get his hardcopy docket and I will deal with everything they stored in their computers as well. It will be as if Eugene never set his foot in prison…I will go as far as erasing the footages and everything else they have against him”
Stacy:” are you that good?”
Me:” I am about to impress you ma’am…the police will try to get the case back on but they won’t have anything to work with and without evidence or proof that he escaped from jail or that he was arrested to begin with then they can’t take him in. All they will have is their own memories”
Stacy:” mhm let’s see how you impress me” she smiled and walked to the building
Me:” see you when I come back okay?”
Tshili:” okay” I started walking
Tshili:” I love you” I stopped walking but didn’t turn around to look at her. She loved me and I knew that but to hear her say the words was just priceless and as much as I wanted to ignore that she said anything I couldn’t just ignore her
Me:” I love you more” I said that and turned around and walked away. I called an Uber for myself and then left.
ANDANI
I was still lying on the bed numb as ever when the door opened and Stacy and Tshililo walked in. I looked away because I didn’t want their pity or to talk about what happened. I wanted Eugene here with me. I wanted to apologise to him for losing our 3rd baby. Thinking about the fact that this was the 3rd baby I had lost hurt so bad. I thought losing the twins was painful but it was nothing compared to this. I remembered how my body felt when I woke up in this very bed and when the realization that Lusani had succeeded on removing my baby sunk in…I felt every bit of my heart being ripped out of me and even so, I thought that somehow it will stop aching but it still hurts…every second that passed by I was reminded of the fact that I wasn’t pregnant anymore and that Eugene was going to be disappointed in me. Him being disappointed in me with primary compared to how this was going to break him. I started sobbing right at that second. This was going to completely break him. Tshililo came and stood infront of me
Tshili:” Andi…baby”
Me:” you understand right? You’ve been through this s*** before and everything is going to be fine, everything happens for a reason and I should be strong right? Is that what you are about to say? You get it? Yes you’ve been through a miscarriage before and I’ve been through that and lost two babies in the process but this? This wasn’t a miscarriage…someone cut my stomach open and removed the baby out of my womb…do you have any idea how that feels? What if he cut my womb the wrong way or cut something he wasn’t supposed to cut and now I can’t have babies? There is also that possibility. I am sitting here knowing that I lost my baby but as if that’s not enough, I am facing a possibility of not being able to carry another baby” I said that looking at Tshililo who looked from Stacy and then back at me with her index finger on her mouth…she looked like a lost toddler, I guess she didn’t know what to say to me, not that I blamed her, I wouldn’t know what to say to me too. Stacy just stood far away from me leaning against the wall
Tshili:” uhm…I will just sit over there” she slowly took the chair and sat a little bit far from my bed and just looked at me. I closed my eyes and listened to my aching heart. I couldn’t see a way forward, I couldn’t see how I was going to move on from this and be happy again…this was too much…the pain was too intense and I couldn’t deal with it anymore.
TSHILILO
We sat in that hospital ward for hours without saying a word. I texted with Xolani and I informed him of everything that was going on this side and also asked for him to take care of the family and to always be on the lookout for our enemies. I finally got the call from Ndivhuwo saying that everything was good and ready and that we can make our way to the prison. It was late at night around 10 and we hoped that we were going to make our way inside without being noticed.
Stacy:” Andani we’re gonna have to leave now…we are going to free Eugene and bring him back to you okay?” Andani just looked into space
Stacy:” uhm give us an hour max and he’ll be here” she still said nothing, Stacy looked at me
Stacy:” let’s go Tshili” I went to Andani and squeezed her hand and then walked out of the door with Stacy. We went to her car and then drove to prison. We got there and she parked her car outside.
Stacy:” it’s now or never”
Me:” let’s do this”
ZWI-LIFE
Chapter 59
TSHILILO
Stacy reached over at the back seat for a bag and inside the bag ware few machines that we were obviously going to need
Me:” I already have two”
Stacy:”silencer?”
Me:” they both have” she nodded and smiled
Stacy:” so you can use a gun?” I smiled even though I didn’t want to
Me:” let’s hope that I will get a chance to show you just how good I am”
She took two guns and I showed her a map of the building that Ndivhuwo sent to us…we knew where we were going to get Eugene. We looked at each other and nodded. I took a plastic bag with clothes inside for Eugene and then we got out of the car and walked to the building. We were both observing the area and making sure that no one was suspicious. I was still on my all black outfit that Ndivhuwo packed for me…Madam Stacy was also in black and also had a black beanie. We got to the building and didn’t hesitate or act like criminals that we were. We walked in wearing confidence and bravery. We walked in and then all the way to where the prisoners were being kept. Something was a little bit off here. There were supposed to be about two guards at the passage but we found none. We passed the first passage and when we got to the second one we ran into a guy and we smiled at him and passed. I could feel his eyes on us but I ignored him and prayed to God to spare his life by making sure that he don’t suspect a thing and ask questions because that was going to get him killed, it seems like God was on his side because the nigga asked nothing and let us pass by. We got to the section where Ndivhuwo was being kept along with other prisoners and we found a prison warder at the passage…we tried to walk past him but he stopped us. I honestly didn’t have time to engage in a conversation with him and I bet Stacy felt the same because she shot him the moment he opened his mouth. She shot him on the leg, the chest and on the head. We walked past him and proceeded to the cell where Eugene was being kept. We passed two cells with few guys inside when we heard a noise as we got closer to where Eugene was and it was as if people were fighting
Stacy:” f*** something is happening and the prison warder we just killed was aware”
Tshili:” are you thinking what I am thinking?” we looked at each other
“Lusani” we both said at the same time and started running. We ran towards Eugene’s cell and remembered that we didn’t have the key to the cell because we couldn’t use our thumbs to open the cell.
Me:” let me go back for the keys, the warder must have them” I ran back for the keys. The guys in other cells kept on making noise and making sexists comments about me and Stacy. When I came back I found Stacy standing in the passage looking inside Eugene’s cell. I stood on my tracks too and looked inside. I looked at Stacy and then inside
Gee:” what’s going on? Its late at night and I can’t have visitors at this time…plus you aren’t even supposed to come this far” we looked at him and then at the bodies of three men in the room with him…he had his hand around a fourth man neck
Stacy:” what happened?”
Eugene:” Lusani happened, they were sent to kill me” I snapped out of my shock and immediately unlocked the door with my hands shaking. Eugene snapped the guy’s neck and threw him on the floor
Eugene:” you’re here to…”
Stacy:’ to free you”
Eugene:” I thought you said you’d disappear…how did you meet her?” he was shocked to see us
Me:” we will explain later Eugene, we need to get out of here now” I said that throwing a jean and a t shirt for him to change into. He immediately started taking off his jail clothes. I looked away from him
Gee:” how is Andi?” there was excitement in his voice
Stacy:” she is okay” she lied, Andani was not okay, she was far from being okay but I guess she didn’t want to worry him now
Gee:” where is Ndivhuwo?”
Me:” doing the most important job”
Gee:” I knew I could count on him…I don’t understand Lusani’s change of heart though, he never wanted to kill me, all he wanted was to get me to jail, I don’t understand why he would want to kill me all of a sudden….unless…unless he found out that I knew” he finished getting dressed and walked to the door and we followed him
Gee:” he found out?” he stood there and looked back at us
Gee:” he did huh?”
Stacy:” he did” Eugene closed his eyes for a minute and then open them up again as if trying to calm himself down
Gee:” what did he do?” he said that and swallowed
Me:” n…nothing”
Gee:” you are lying…I trained that boy to think like me and if someone who gave me everything and has the power to kill me and take it all back because he found out I betrayed him…I would do way more than nothing”
Stacy:” he tried to kill you, that’s what he did, he tried to take you out permanently” Eugene shook his head and we walked out of the building. We breathed as soon as we made it to the parking lot. We got inside the car and I called Ndivhuwo right away as Stacy drove out. I couldn’t believe that it all happened so fast and so easy
Ndiv:” it worked?” he said as soon as he picked up the call
Me:” we have him with us in the car”
Ndiv:” Yesss! So the next step is police station. I will start driving right away but I will have a laptop with me in the car…I will have to use my spare laptop. I will get a signal as soon as the computers are on and I will stop by the side of the road and wipe everything off”
Me:” okay cool” I dropped the call and looked at Eugene on the back seat. Stacy was driving at the front with me and Eugene was at the beck
Me:” our next step is the police station or if you have someone you can contact them. Ndivhuwo wants to erase everything the police have on you. I am sure he has already wiped off their system but he need to erase your computers that are being used as evidence so someone has to switch the computers on and connect the hardrives to the computers. If you have no one on the inside then we have to find a way to go in”
Eugene” I have someone for that…where are my stuff?”
Me:” here” I gave him a plastic bag with his personal items collected from him when he got arrested, inside was his phone, his clothes and other items that belonged to him. He switched his phone on and called someone and told them to go to the evidence room and switch on the computers that were confiscated from Sizwe and Dendron and connect the hardrives to those computers. He dropped the call when he was done
Me:” good, Ndivhuwo will know when the computers go on”
Gee:” and I will be free” I looked back at him and he was smiling
Stacy:” yes”
Gee:” where is Andi? I have to see her” he was excited and I felt sorry for him knowing that we had bad news for him. Stacy stopped the car on the side of the road and switched the car off
Gee:”what’s wrong?”
Stacy:” I am sorry Eugene”
Gee:” Stacy what happened?”
Stacy:” I did everything I could, I really did” there was fear in her voice and she was trembling
Gee:” what the f*** happened?” he screamed
Stacy:” Andi lost the baby” Stacy screamed and for the first time since I met her I heard her sob
Stacy:” I am so sorry son” she sobbed quietly. I don’t know how I expected Eugene to react but his reaction was definitely not the one I thought he would give us
Gee:” okay” that’s all he said. There was no movement or change in breathing from his side…there was nothing. Stacy and I said nothing else expecting him to say more but he said nothing else, a casual ‘okay’ is all he gave us
Me:” did you hear what she said?” I had to make sure that he heard her right
Gee:” yes…I lost the baby” his voice was cold and didn’t have any emotions in it
Gee:” how did it happen? Did she stress too much?” there….right there was a little bit of pain on the way he talked and I finally relaxed a little bit because that’s what was normal, he had to feel something at least
Stacy:” Lusani operated her and removed the baby”
Gee:” let’s go”
Me:” Eugene” honestly, I felt like he needed to get out of the car and sob on his own and cry not sit here with us and drive
Gee:” I said let’s go Stacy”
Stacy:” uhm…Tshili and I will just get out of the car and give you some mome-“
Gee:” I don’t need a f*****g moment…I have been having a f*****g moment since I got arrested so I don’t want another one…I just want to see her” Stacy looked at him and then back at me…I gave her the same look she gave me. It was a look of defeat. Stacy started the car in silence.
EUGENE
I sat in that car and put on my brave face and we drove to wherever Andani was. I didn’t have the strength to ask anything more from them. I listened to my heart as each beat bring forth more pain and the excruciating burning at the core of the heart. It hurt in a way that I couldn’t even explain. For the first time in my life I wanted to escape the pain I was in. this was too much, I felt so weak and so unable. I wanted to disappear from the face of the earth so that I don’t feel what I was feeling anymore. I looked outside the window as Stacy drove and my heart burned in pain. I wanted to scream and cry and kill but I found myself sitting there looking outside the window with my game face on. The car drove to the hospital and she parked at the parking lot
Stacy:” she is here” I looked at her and smiled
Me:” which ward?”
Stacy:” maternity” I smiled again and reached for the door handle
Stacy:” Eugene” she said with her hand on mine
Me:” I am okay” I lied
Stacy:” no you are not, you can’t be…you don’t have to be”
Me:” she needs me more than I need your pity right now” I said that and opened the door and walked outside the car.
The night breeze welcomed me and i looked around and then head inside the building. I was in somuch pain I had to drag my body to be able to walk, my brain was also failing me, I couldn’t even think straight anymore. I got to the reception and asked for Andani, the lady gave me grief but I told her I was her fiancée and she quickly let me walk through. I dragged my feet and walked to her ward…I was using the wall to balance myself because I was seriously losing it. Suddenly my mind was so slow, I was still trying to figure out everything that Stacy said, I kept imagining Lusani operating on Andani and the picture of it all was enough to give me a mini heart attack.Losing the twins hurt, it killed a hell lot of me and then this? F*** I couldn’t handle this. As weak as I was…I knew I had to be strong for her because if this was fucking me up like this then what was it doing to her then? I finally got to her room…I got there and opened thedoor and stood there with my head leaning against the door frame. I looked at her lying on the bed and my knees failed me and I fell down to the floor and looked on the floor and fought the tears. I looked over the bed and she had turned around and was looking at me. I looked at her while I was down on my knees with my hands on the floor and hated myself…pain was written all over her face…she didn’t have to tell me anything, I could see it myself…she was f****d up…Lusani f****d us up. Tears started flowing on her face when she saw me
Andi:” i…i….i am so sorry” she said the words in a smallest voice I had ever heard from her…I didn’t understand why she was apologising…she thought I was gonna blame her? Is that why she was apologising?
Andani:”I tried…Eugene I tried to fight him…cupcake I tried...i am so sorry” she sobbed.
I looked at her with complete shock on my face…how could she start apologising to the fucked up trashy fucking fucker fukery shity me huh? I messed us up and this was all my s*** and I had to take responsibility because this was all me…just like how Tebogo’s death was on me and parents’ deaths were also on me…I was fucked up like that. I tried getting up because I wanted to tell her to stop blaming herself and let the fucked up me take the shity blame but I had no strength to get up and to say anything
Andani:” I fought him….cupcake I did” I finally gathered some strength and dragged my feet walking to her
Me:” it’s okay” I said in a whisper. I got to her and knew that I couldn’t start crying now…not when she was like this. I sat on the bed and looked at her
Me:” I know you did everything you could cupcake, I have no doubt in me that you fought him” I said that and wiped the tears on her one eye
Andi:” you’re not angry?” I looked at her
Me:” I am angry at me” I said that and felt the tears falling…I couldn’t contain myself anymore
Me:” I failed our baby Andi…I failed us…again….three babies Andani…all down the drain” I said that and got up from the bed and sat on the floor and sobbed. I had never in my pathetic empty life felt so much pain.
Zwi a Penga – Life As We Know It
Chapter 60
EUGENE
Losing my parents was a little painful and shocking because I killed them myself but I met Rod and Stacy and they kind of replaced my parents so I was fine. Losing Tebogo was painful and it really broke me to an extent that I acted out of rage and created a lot of mess. And losing the twins was also painful and it hurt so bad but then this? This was not painful…this was something worse…this was a burning agonizing dire sensation that kept on shattering my already ruptured heart. I was finished, never in my entire fucked up life had I wished to die, I had never ever wished I could die so that I could escape whatever predicament that life threw at me. I had been through some serious s*** in my life and through all of them I managed to stand up tall and never showed anyone that I was weak and I ended up believing that I was incapable of being heartbroken until I met Andani. It’s the only time I got afraid to lose something in my life. And then the first pregnancy happened. I knew then that I wanted to see my own child in this world and to be called daddy but I lost that. It’s the reason why I freaked out when Andani told me that she was pregnant again. I was avoiding this…I didn’t want to get to this point. I did everything I could to keep the fucking baby alive…I ran around and did my best to keep Andani safe and then one little mistake and the baby is gone? I was still sitting on the floor sobbing. Never in my life had I sobbed like this, I don’t remember ever breaking down this way. Not even when Rod died, I was always strong; I had always been a strong one. I wanted the baby to survive so bad. The fact that Lusani was the one to do something of this nature to me is what really added salt to the wound. I didn’t think that Lusani was this serious, I doubted his abilities, I thought that maybe he was just pissed and was just acting out like a teenager who was pissed at his parents. I thought I meant to him what Rod meant to me. I didn’t think that he would actually hurt me like this. I hated myself for doubting him; I hated myself for giving him the power that he used to kill my own child. I don’t know how long I sat on the floor sobbing but after a long while I stopped crying and stood up. I wiped off my tears and Andani was still lying on the bed with tears in her eyes.
Andi:” I tried” I stood close to her and wiped off her tears
Me:” it’s okay cupcake”
Andi:” it hurt so much Eugene” I bent over to her and gave her one long kiss but she didn’t kiss me back and even though she didn’t kiss back I continued kissing her because as much as I wanted to make her feel better I also wanted her to make me feel better. I stopped kissing her and wiped off the tears again
Me:” I know…it hurts for me too cupcake….it hurts in a way that I can’t even explain and I am sorry for all this, I am sorry for causing this for us”
Andi:” right now I am not even sure if I will have more babies, he cut me open and ripped the baby out of me. Eugene you need to kill him, you need to end his life…cupcake I want you to leave this room and go kill him please” I looked at her and looked away. I understood what she was feeling and why she was feeling like that. She felt that making him pay was going to make the pain disappear but that was very far from the truth, I learned that the hard way. Paying revenge doesn’t make you feel better and it also doesn’t bring back what’s lost.
Me:” okay, I will do it” I was not sure about killing Lusani. As insane as it sounds, I still hadn’t made up my mind about what I was going to do to him. Something had to happen though but I was not sure what was supposed to happen to him yet. I squeezed her hand while looking at her
Me:” I am so sorry” I was looking at her eyes but she looked away
Me:” Andi”
Andi:” just go kill him”
Me:” what does that mean?”
Andi:” it means I want you to kill the man who did this to us” she had stopped crying
Me:” and us?”
Andi:” what about us?”
Me:” are we okay?” I said with my shaky voice, I knew for a fact that losing her too will be the final blow
Andi:” do you honestly think that I will walk away? I am the definition of pain Eugene…I am what pain is meant to be and it’s all thanks to you…how do you expect me to walk away from it all? How do you expect me to just give up huh? If I give up on us then why did I go through everything I’’ve been through because of you? Why did I have my stomach opened and lose my baby? All the fucking pain I have been through? The hiding and the running? It will be all for nothing? I can’t leave you anymore Eugene, leaving you is undoable and as much as I hate you right now I also know and I understand that I am too damaged and weak to face this by myself….where will I go? My parents wanted to kill this baby so going back home will only give them the satisfaction…I am here with you and you are stuck with me” I stood there and didn’t know what to say to her
Andi:” now go hunt Lusani down please…we won’t get our baby back but at least we won’t have to live in a world where he exists”
Me:” I want to stay a little bit longer with you” she looked at me like I was going crazy. She tried to sit up but winced and then fell back on the back
Me:” don’t do that again please you’ll hurt yourself…let me stay a little longer” she started shaking her head
Andi:” I don’t want you to”
Me:” but you sai-“
Andi:” I know exactly what I said but Eugene you caused this…you did this to us…you treated Lusani like crap and it’s the reason why he did what he did. I am pretty sure that you could have prevented the arrest if you wanted to because I know you are powerful but you didn’t and I am guessing you were trying to play some sick game and trying to figure out how far Lusani was willing to go…so look at us now? A 3rd baby is gone…how do I live through such a loss huh? How do I look at myself in the mirror and move on with my life huh?”
Me:” okay”
For some reason she couldn’t understand that it was my loss too and I was already beating myself up enough and didn’t need her to rub it on me any further…so I walked out of the door without saying another word. I don’t know man, so many things were still very wrong with me…I was still not thinking straight and my vision was still a little bit blur. I was really finding it hard to believe that this was the reality of the situation. I kept on hoping that I would wake up in a cold sweat and find that everything was just a big bad dream but no such thing was going to happen because this was my reality. I walked out of the building and found Tshililo and Stacy standing out of the car and standing at the parking. It was late at night and cold. Stacy walked to me as soon as she saw me walked out of the building and Tshililo got inside the car, I guess she was trying to give us some privacy
Me:” Stacy please don’t, I am fine” I said while we meet and I passed her without even looking at her
Stacy:” but you are not, you can’t be” she said running after me. I turned around and looked at her
Me:” okay it hurts okay? Its hurts so much I just want to die right now…it hurts more than anything I have ever felt in this world. This is not the first miscarriage you know…we’ve had the first one with the twins” I said that and almost broke down but I stayed strong
Stacy:” come here” she opened her arms to hug me
Me:” no…Stacy no, I am not doing this with you” I turned around and walked to the car and she ran after me, I knew that if i allowed her to hug me then I would break into a serious sob and I didn’t want to do that. Not infront of the likes of Tshililo, I couldn’t degrade myself like that
Stacy:” Eugene it’s okay”
Me:” at least I told you how I am actually feeling …I will be fine” we got to the car and stood there
Stacy:” I love you” she said looking straight into my eyes
Me:” I love you too…uhm, you should take me to my house”
Stacy:” now?”
Me:” yeah, hopefully Lusani is still there and if he is not then I better start working on finding him”
Stacy:” you do remember what we taught you about revenge right?”
Me:” very well…Andani want me to kill him but I will do this my own way Stacy. Lusani was like my son…he was what I was to you and Rod…I know you loved me and sometimes Rod was very harsh towards me and it’s the reason why I turned out as strong as I am but I never once felt like hurting him because deep inside I knew he loved me but Lusani failed to understand that I am also a human being and I make mistakes sometimes and he decided to punish me for my mistakes. How would you feel huh? If I did to you and Rod what he just did to me? What do you think Rod was gonna do? Do you think he was capable of killing me? Are you capable of killing me?” she looked at me and looked on the floor
Me:” exactly…It’s easy for everyone else to tell me to just kill Lusani for what he did to me and Andani but he is like my son Stacy. I love him okay? I raised that boy, I made that boy who he is and as hurt as I am, I can’t just decide to kill him….do you understand? Does it make sense?” I said this with a deep stab inside. Stacy put her one hand on my shoulder
Stacy:” it makes sense, no matter how much you can wrong me, I couldn’t bring myself to killing you so I trust that you will do what’s best. Just bear in mind that you have Andani and after what Lusani has done you can’t trust him anymore and you trained that boy Eugene, you trained him to be as good as you and he is right where you wanted him to be right now…he is an exact copy of you, just like you are an exact copy of my husband so whatever you do….consider everything else”
Me:” thanks” I kissed her on the cheek and went to the front seat, I wasn’t about to let her drive anymore, I wanted to drive myself. Tshililo got inside the car and I drove
Me:” did Ndivhuwo manage to wipe everything off?” I was looking at Tshililo who was at the front seat with me
Tshili:” yeah…he did it and he is already on his way back here”
Me:” okay” we drove to my house in total silence. We got to my house and I didn’t even have the keys for the gate. I parked the car outside and was about to make a call to one of my guys when the gate opened and my Ferrari was at the driveway and about to drive out….i wanted to laugh, seriously I wanted to laugh at this…so Lusani was also driving my car huh? I opened the door and Stacy held my hand
Stacy:” you can’t trust him”
Me:” I don’t have to”
Tshili:” Eugene please” I looked at all of them and got out of the car. I stood outside looking at my Ferrari and then the driver’s door opened and Lusani got out of the door. I looked at him and he looked back at me
Me:” my boy” I said that with a smile that didn’t resemble happiness but only resembled my deepest pain
Lusani:” you’re out”
Me:” we need to talk….alone” Lusani looked around him and at the two guys behind him…I shook my head and looked at them too
Me:” George get him in the house and into the sound proof room”
Lusani:” George I am your boss now so I say take him into that room”
Me:” George….i don’t have to remind you who your boss is” I was betting on George to remember where his loyalty lies
Lusani:” you don’t have to be afraid of him George, he is powerless now, I have all the power so do what I say now” he yelled. George looked from Lusani to me. He then walked to Lusani who started fighting him…the guy who was with George joined the fight and they dragged Lusani inside the house. I turned around and looked inside the car
Me:” Tshili I understand it’s been a long night so how about you book a hotel somewhere? I could give you the keys to my other house but I still have to deal with this mess so please book a hotel and rest for now…tell Ndivhuwo that I will take it from here and that I will see him tomorrow so that I can thank him properly”
Stacy:” do you think it’s a good idea to be here alone with that boy?”
Me:” I will be fine and I think you should also rest after dropping Tshililo off at the hotel”
TSHILILO
Stacy dropped me off at the hotel and then drove off. I had no idea where she was going. I was tired…this was the longest day in the history of long days. I mean from driving down to see Eugene in prison to spending an afternoon with Ndivhuwo to the car accident and to finding out what happened to Andani and then helping Eugene out of prison…God I felt like this day had been going on for weeks. I was dead tired. The time was already after 12 in the morning. I went to the shower and when I was done I wore the white gown I found there and called Ndivhuwo, I was a little worried about him. He picked up immediately
Ndiv:” hey”
Me:” hi, uhm its been few hours now…where are you?”
Ndiv:” making my way into the CBD”
Me:” uhm Eugene said we should rest for the night so I booked a hotel room”
Ndiv:” uhm okay, did you also book one for me?” what? Why would I do that?
Tshili:” uhm, I didn’t think you’ll have a problem sharing with me…not that we will do anything but we’ve been in these kind of situations before and we’ve managed to spend nights together without anything happening” I said that trying to find out if he had changed his mind about me
Ndiv:” is that what you want?”
Me:” well, it’s an option…I mean why not save some money” God why was I suddenly feeling so uneasy with him?
Ndiv:” so a ‘cuddle’ is all you want?”
Me:” yes” it hasn’t been that long after Thembu’s passing so I couldn’t start having sex yet
Ndiv:” I will have to book my own room…give me the name of the hotel and your unit number so that my room can be close to yours just in case something happens” what? I trusted Ndivhuwo to agree to us cuddling, we’d done that s*** a thousand times before and he never had a problem…something was really changing, something had changed in him and that scared me
Me:” I am at Belmond Hotel”
Ndiv:” will be there shortly” he hung up and I threw myself on the bed and cried….i didn’t want to lose Ndivhuwo, I really didn’t want to. Was he fed up? Was he was tired of waiting and all my s***? I was tired and had a long day and all I wanted was to cuddle with him but he was denying me that….after a day that I just had, was it too much to ask?
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