Zwi a Penga
Insert 21
So i went to my mom who was sitting
alone outside, that was after I fought over some food with Xolani. Yep we were
crazy like that. So I told my mom about Tshililo being pregnant and she couldn’t
hide the shock on her face
Me:” how old is Tshililo again?” she
said after I told her
Me:” we are the same age” yep we
were both 20
Mom:” and you say you love her?”
Me:
yeah and I want to make her my wife” my mom looked surprised
Mom:” I understand that she is pregnant
but marriage is another issue. You still have a long way to go Thembu, there is
no need to rush it”
Me:” but I don’t see the reason not
to get married now. I mean I love her and we are going to have a baby”
Mom:” are you serious about this?”
Me:” yes I am”
Mom:” well if you really want to
marry her then I am not going to stop you but take it from me, marriage is not
a play. ‘I love you’ doesn’t really build a family; there are more important
things in marriage than those words. I am also worried about the fact that you
guys are the same age, Thembu you are still going to meet young girls whom you’ll
like out there and by then Tshililo will be sitting at home as your wife. I
really hope you can pull this off”
Me:” I will pull it off. I love
Tshililo and I won’t look at someone else” and then I felt my heart pounding, I
started to chicken out. How sure was I that I wasn’t going to like anyone else?
I thought about Terresa and Sharon, ahg I have to pull this off, I know that
Tshililo was obviously expecting me to marry her after this so I didn’t want to
disappoint her
Me:” I will talk to Tshililo about
this and I will get back to you” I took a deep breath
Tshililo called that afternoon and
said that she wanted to see me so after moving the furnisher I drove to her
place. She was waiting for me where I dropped her off the previous day.
Me:"hey bbe" I said
kissing her as soon as she got inside the car
Tshili:"hi" there was
something in her voice…she was cold
Me:" What’s wrong?" I
could see that something was definitely wrong
Me:" can we go park somewhere?"
owk she ignored my question
Me:" babe you don’t look happy"
Tshili:"of course I am not
happy Thembuluwo"
Me: “is it the pregnancy?" she
gave me a death stare.....owk this was confusing maybe it’s the hormones…I
drove the car and parked somewhere far away from her home
Me:" you didn’t call me here so
that we can just chill with you being angry at me did you?"
Tshili:"you are just
unbelievable Thembuluwo” she said shaking her head, I was totally lost
Me:"babe what did I do?"
Tshili:"I am giving you a
chance again to tell me the damn truths, is there something that you didn’t
tell me about? Something that happened a little while ago?" I tried to
think but nothing popped up
Me:" nothing babe…do you mind
telling me what’s wrong? "
Tshili:"so you tell me
everything?"
Me: “yes you know that"
Tshili:"so I guess the fact
that you and your group stabbed Luvhengo…well in fact you cut him open and
almost killed him is not true" eeessaaahhhnnn, my jaw dropped, I just
looked at her feeling rather speechless
Me:"eish"
Tshili:” please tell me you didn't
do it"
Me:"babe that was a long time
ago"
Tshili:"I can’t believe you'd
do anything like that Thembu, cutting him up with a damn grander? What kind of
a devil are you?” ok that hurt
Me: “it was the only way to get him
off our backs Tshililo, were you happy with him terrorising you all the time?”
Tshili:" of course I was not
happy with that but how can you be so cruel Thembu, and you had the nerve to
come back to me crying when the going gets tough knowing fully well that you
walk around torturing people for fun”
Me: “so let me get this straight…you
called me here fuming because I have hurt your ex who was terrorising you day
in and day out right?”
Tshili:"it’s not about what you
did to him, it’s about the honesty Thembuluwo, you acted like you didn't know
what happened to him"
Me:"i am sorry about that"
Tshili:"no you are not because
if you were you would have told me about it”
Me:" so what do you want me to
do?"
Tshili:"get the fuck out of my
life Thembuluwo, I can’t do this anymore, you lie to me, you kill people, you
sell drugs for a damn living and you slaughter people…how am I supposed to
relax and raise my child with you knowing that there will always be this dark
cloud hanging over our heads, you are not good for my child" My whole
world stood still, I looked at her for a very long time…I wanted to believe
that what I heard was not real, how can she do this to me
Me: “are you breaking up with
me?" I asked, my voice was very low…dammit the stress that kicked in right
at the moment neh? I put both my hands on my face and bent down…how could
Tshililo do this to me?
Me:"Tshililo are you breaking
up with me?" she nodded. I closed my eyes trying so hard to block the tears
that were coming, Tshililo was leaving me and she was carrying my child, so I
was not worthy to be a father? That’s what she was saying
Me: “so, you wanna raise my child
with your ex?" I asked painfully
Tshili:"what? Of course not, I
am just tired of being scared and always looking over my shoulder. Imagine how
it could be like with a baby on the picture. I can’t do it and what you did to Luvhengo
made me think twice about who you really are, maybe you are also just a monster
like the rest of them"
Me: “wow" this was painful, I
was in serious pain…I was in love with this girl and she chose to do this to me
now
Tshili:"sorry babe but I have
to do this for my child"
Me: “OUR child Tshililo, that child
needs both parents, how is breaking up with your child’s father good for the
child, just admit it, you’ve talked to Luvhengo and you wanna go back to him, I...I never
thought you’d do this to me, i understand i am just a gangster and i make a living
out of selling drugs and Luvhengo on the other side owns businesses, with him you
won’t have to worry about guns and all the baggage that comes with being in my
life" I wiped the tears and started my car
Tshili:"and now?"
Me:"i am taking you home, i am
not going to play the violent boyfriend and force you to be with me. Maybe you
never loved me and as painful as it is I will be strong…but one thing for sure,
gangster or not, that’s my child and I want to be part of his or her life"
Tshili:"but Them-"
Me:" Fuck Tshililo, you broke
the hell up with me right now, what do you want me to do? i am taking you home
and then you can play happy family with Luvhengo and my child" I said that
with tears in my eyes. I drove back, I stopped few houses from her home
Tshili:"babe you are not
understanding me….I love you a lot"
Me:"i have a fucked up life and
there is no need for you to feel sorry for me. I mean you called me to come all
the way for this. So get out of my car, I need to drive”
Tshili:"let’s talk for a while"
Me: “no, i mean nothing is going to
change, i kill people, i sell drugs, i slaughter people, i have guns and you
said that you are tired of the life I am living” the truth is that i was hurt
and i just wanted Tshililo to leave because i was scared of what i might do,
this was too much painful, more painful than anything i had been through. After
everything i had done for her, she was leaving me and she was taking my child
away from me
Me:" you’ve hurt me babe....you’ve
really hurt me Tshililo" that’s all i could say
Tshili:"uhm…"
Me: “give me Luvhengo’s contact
numbers"
Tshili:"what? So you wanna
finish him off now? What kind of a person are you? I always thought you were
different from him but it seems like you are just the same”
Me:"ok have a good night"
Tshili:"drive safely" she
got out of the car and walked home. I got home and told Xolani about my meeting
with Tshililo. He was shocked
I was in my bedroom tryna sleep when
I thought about Tshililo. I should have tried to beg her man, I should have
tried to reason with her. I mean the truth is that I loved her and I wanted her
to be mine. I took my phone and sent her a text
"Hi babe, you dropped a big
bomb on me tonight, I am confused Tshililo, I love you a lot, I love my baby
too but I guess I can’t force you to stay if you are tired. I knew one day it
was gonna come to this, i knew you were gonna get tired of my life style but i
was in denial, i selfishly wanted you to tolerate everything for me. I will
always love you #YoursAlways" I pressed send and patiently wait for a
reply. i waited for 2 minutes, 5, then 10, 15 and then i gave up. I put the
phone under my pillow and tried to sleep and then that’s when I received a text
"I am not tired; it’s just that
there is a child involved. It’s no longer just about you and me. We have to
think about the safety of our baby. I am not tired of your lifestyle matter of
fact i still love you, a lot but i have to love our child more and one of us
has to protect this child from the life of drugs and i guess that’s me”
I took a deep breathe. So she still
loves me right? I had to make a plan, I don’t know what plan but i had to prove
to Tshililo that i can be a dad and a drug dealer at the same time, Sticks and
them were doing it so i can also manage so I will have to convince her and then
after that I can deal with this Luvhengo clown.
The following day I woke up to
Xolani sitting on my bed. Apparently he had organised a picnic day at the
resort with my friends…yeah I was shocked hey, like how did he pull that one
off? They were my friends not his friends but I guess he was hijacking them. So
I went to Nandoni Dam with Xolani and my friends. Sharon was also there and she
was with me the whole time. People were drinking, swimming and cruising on a
boat, playing soccer and all that. It was just a fun day and I must say that I had
a great time and I didn’t think of Tshililo for a day…that was an achievement.
Tshililo tried to call me throughout the afternoon…at first I was picking up
her calls but showed no interest in talking to her…then later on I decided to
just ignore her calls. She wanted a break up and that’s what I was going to
give her.
The following day in the late
afternoon Xolani asked me to go with him to town. Tshililo was still trying to
call me and I was still ignoring her. We got to town and then Xolani told me to
wait in the car. He got out and got on the phone with someone. After the call
he got inside the car and looked at me guiltily.
X:"uhm you will forgive my brother
but i couldn't just stand by and let a good thing burn up in flames bro, i had
to do something.....give me a call when you are done talking, i will be walking
around" he said that and got out, I saw him hugging Tshililo and she got
inside the car
Tshili:"hi" she smiled
Me: “hi" I didn’t even know
what to say to her. I started the car and drove away. I wanted us to go
somewhere private because I had a lot to say to her. I went to Khoroni hotel
and booked us a room
Me: “here we are" I said after
taking off my shoes and sitting on the bed. She did the same
Tshili:"yah" she was
sitting next to me
Tshili:" I am really sorry
about the other day"
Me:" what are you sorry about
huh? Are you sorry that you talked to your abusive ex-boyfriend? Are you sorry
that you regret leaving him and now you want him back? Or maybe you are sorry
for hurting me? Or you are sorry that you are carrying a gangster’s child? Which
one is it Tshililo, enlighten me please" she breathed and looked down and
then back at me
Tshili:"i love you and i am
sorry i broke things off but forget about what I said Thembu, I can’t live
without you”
Me:" you are one confused human
being Tshili, what is wrong with you? i am still a damn drug dealer.....let me....."
I looked away and then back at her" let me put it this way for you. I am
still a criminal or a gangster Tshili, I deal drugs, I have killed a person and
yes I got Luvhengo slaughtered and that’s the person I am. Everything I said
makes up who I am and you are tired of all that. So I am not going to stand
here and apologise for the person that I am because as far as I know…you are
one of the reasons why I am here and I don’t regret my decision because it was
out of love”
Tshili:" forgive me for everything
that I said…I was just scared"
Me:" nope you were right. I won’t
be a good father to our child and you took the right decision” I said that with
an angry tone. Tshililo looked at me and started crying
Me:"i can’t do this
Tshililo" I took out some money from my wallet and put it on the bed and
walked to the door. I turned around and looked at her
Me: “just so you know, you killed
something in me"
She walked to me and took my hand
Tshili:"babe please, i can’t do
this alone" she said that looking from me to her tummy
Tshili:"forgive me Thembu"
Me:" I love you and you know
that. I have no problem with being in your life or my child’s life but…” i lost
my words
Tshili:"but nothing babe, we
love each other...i was just confused”
Me:"i understand you were
confused Tshili but how do i shake off the fact that you went and talked to
your ex and then you even had the nerve to confront me about it huh?"
Tshili:"but babe you-" I
cut her off
me: “listen to me Tshililo, I am a
man and honestly, how do you think I will feel every time you are back in Venda
knowing that you’ll be talking and seeing Luvhengo......eish i hate that i even
have to mention his name while arguing with you"
Tshili:'sorry"
Me:"Tshililo come" I took
her hand and went to sit on the bed with her
Me:” we are going to have a child
and we have to draw some lines. You are not to talk to Luvehngo, let alone
discuss him with me”
Tshili: No Thembuluwo that’s not
fair"
Me:"i am not asking you to do
this....i am telling you, do you understand?" she looked at me as if she
was waiting for me to take back what i said but i didn't
Tshili:"uhm"
Me: “are we clear?" she nodded
Me:"yah, if we are going to
make this work we have to respect each other. You respect me and I respect you
otherwise it’s never gonna work. Yes I am a gangster but you chose me right?
You know how much I love you so stop taking advantage of that” she looked at me
shocked
Me:" give me Luvhengo’s
contacts"
Tshili:"what do you want to do?"
Me:" I said give me Luvhengo’s
contact numbers" she took out her phone and started pressing and then
handed it over to me. I shook my head
Me: “so you still have his phone
numbers?"
Tshili:"Thembu please" she
said that rolling her eyes
Me: “don’t roll your damn eyes and
don’t Thembu me when we are discussing serious issues…it’s not every time that
you must do what you are doing” she quickly straightened up and looked at me
Me: “so before I call your ex…I want
you to tell me right now…do you love me? Like do you really love me? And if you
really do then you are cutting all ties with him. One more thing, I can’t help
but wonder if you still love him…if you still do then let me know and I will
walk away Tshili. I don’t want you to stay with me because of the baby or
because you are feeling sorry for me. I want you to stay with me because you
love me as much as I love you”
Tshili:"babe how can you ask me
that?"
Me:" I am pretty sure that what
you said doesn’t really answer the questions I asked you”
She went down on her knees and took
my hands and then looked straight up at me. i kept a straight face and looked
at her
Tshili:"babe....Thembu....i
love you....and only you, I will cut all my communication with Luvhengo, i will
delete his phone numbers and he will be out of our lives, i want you and that’s
all i want" I kept quiet and looked at her
Me:" what about me being a
criminal? Doesn’t that bother you anymore?"
Tshili:" I thought about it
Thembu, your colleagues have families and they are happy so I guess we can do
it too”
Me: “you mean that?"
Tshili:"yes i do" I
removed my hands from her grip and called Luvhengo with her cell phone
Luvhengo:"Hi Tshili"
Me: “sorry to disappoint, it’s her
husband" the phone went dead on the other line
Me: “are you still there?"
Luvhengo:"uhm...ahhhh...yah"
Me: “and how is your leg? I am
taking it that you have healed?"
Luvhengo:"not really"
Me:"oww I really thought you
have healed…I mean why else would you still be running around with my woman? I
took that as a signal that maybe the grander didn’t do a great job. You want
something a bit......uhm what’s the word again?" Tshililo gave me a death
stare and for the first time, it didn't do anything to me
Luvhengo"uhm Thembu my brother,
uhm no please....uhm please forgive me"
Me:" how is that gonna help me?"
Luvhengo:'"Thembu please I won’t
interfere, I promise never to talk to her please”
Me: “you better not because killing
you wouldn’t really be a problem...what they did to you was nothing compared to
what could happen to you again, those guys can cut your body parts one by one
while you watch.....and don’t even think of taking chances because i am
here.......they are everywhere" i dropped the call. Tshililo had a
horrified look on her face, I handed her the cell phone and she took it and sat
on the bed…she was horrified
Me:"Tshililo you want to know
everything that I do, you don’t want any secrets so I guess you had to see that
side of me as well. I am sorry if I scared you but people like Luvhengo need to
be dealt with” she just looked at me and said nothing
Me:" I love you and I will
always do and people like Luvhengo will be dealt with accordingly” Owk i think
i just scared the poor girl way too much; she just looked at me blinking. I
moved closer to her and gave her a hug and she started crying
Me:"shhhhh babe don’t cry….it’s
not good for the baby…my love don’t be sad, what’s wrong?”
Tshili:"promise me you won’t
get angry?" i rolled my eyes
Me:"ok i won’t"
Tshili:" you are scaring me Thembu,
you sound like a real gangster"
Me:' I am a gangster babe although i
don’t like going all gangster on you but it’s who I am now…but don’t worry, you
won’t see this side of me again ok”
Tshili:"uhm ok"
Me: “so can you smile for me" I
said with a smile while looking straight in her eyes. She smiled a bit and i
kissed her, she kissed me back, we went on about it, roughly and hungry, until
we made love. After making love we talked about the baby and then we decided to
go to the Doctor for a check-up. We didn’t do any appointment but hey I knew
that if I drove to town I was definitely going to find one Doctor who could
help us and yep we did. I can’t even explain the feeling I got when I was
looking at my baby through that sonar thing. It was the best feeling in the
world bruh. Tshililo was one month pregnant
Zwi a Penga
Insert 22
With Tshililo pregnant and all. I
decided that I needed to marry her. So I went for Ring shopping with Xolani in
Polokwane and then I asked my mom if Tshililo could come visit us for few
days…my mom was a little bit reluctant but she agreed. So Tshililo told her
mother that she was visiting a friend of hers. You won’t believe what my mom
did…during Tshililo stay at my place she didn’t sleep in my room…yeah it gets
worse, my mom was sharing a room with her. You should have seen how Xolani
laughed at this arrangement and how he even called Ncedo and Thembani telling
them about it. It was funny how he was making fun of my misery. So I finally
proposed to Tshililo and she said YES. Yeah I did a little romantic set up at
home.
After proposing we had to tell my
mom about it. I told Tshililo that I wanted us to get married immediately. I
mean there was nothing holding us back. So I wanted to inform my mom so that
she can get the ball rolling and then we can have the elders involved and all
that s***. By the time we go back to school after the June holidays I wanted
Tshililo to be my wife.
Me:" I want to marry Tshililo
and I wanna do it now" my mom looked at us in shock. It was early in the
morning when we decided to talk to my mom about it.
Mom:” the two of you still have a
long way to go….there is no need to rush into marriage. Thembuluwo look at me
and your dad? Do you think we were never like you once? I fell pregnant with
you and I was forced to marry your father. Believe me I didn’t complain, in fact
we were both excited because we were still young and in love but marriage
changes people” I looked at Tshililo and she looked at me…we then looked at my
mom
Me:” but i-“
Mom:” but what? I am not against the
idea of you getting married but I think you should take some time to get to
know each other better so that you won’t have too many problems when you get
married. You are still growing up and you will have a lot of disagreements so
isn’t it better to have some of those disagreement now before marriage so that
you can deal with them while you are away from each other? That way when you
get married things would be much easier” well I had only dated Tshililo for how
long? Three months? But I had known her for much longer than that
Me:” mom we are in love and I
believe that we will make it through”
Mom:” Tshililo have you ever seen my
son angry?” Tshililo looked at me and then at my mom
Tshili:"uhm....i think so"
my mom laughed, her eyes were full of pain
Mma:" you haven’t made each
other angry and have no idea how each of you will react. There is still more
you don’t know about each other and learning all there is to learn about a
person when you are married is an accident waiting to happen”
i closed my eyes and breathed
Me:" mom I know you are worried
about what happened to you and dad and somehow you think the same thing will happen
to us. I am not my father and I will never be like him, I won’t change”
Mom:” ok I won’t stop you and I wish
you good luck on your marriage….i said everything I said because I wanted to
help but I wish for God to guide you”
Me:” thanks mom, we won’t
disappoint” I understand where my mom was coming from. Her marriage was not so
great and I guess she didn’t want the same for me and Tshililo but we were in
love and although we had only been together for three months and already a
month pregnant…we had been through some serious
s*** during that period and we were able to stick together.
So Tshililo left for her home and
then my mom contacted my aunt, dad and my uncles and told them about me wanting
to marry a girl. Well my dad said he was not going to get involved, he said I
was no longer his son so he didn’t want to be part of any of it. Well I was
fine with that, the feeling was pretty much mutual, I honestly didn’t want
him to get involved.
X:"so...when am i meeting your
old man?" Xolani asked one afternoon when I was chilling with him.
Me: “what?"
X:"your dad"
Me:"Xolani i don’t have a
father owk? And please let’s not talk about him ever again" Xolani looked
at me
X:"Thembu mfowethu, he is your
dad and it is important to get along with him"
Me: ‘he was my dad" i said that
looking straight at the TV
X:"you can’t be angry with him
forever bro, you need to forgive him, you need him in your life....unlike me
your father is there bruh, you know where he is and i am sure he is feeling
shity about what he had put you guys through...just......have a word with him,
you need him more than you realise. He is a man and obviously you broke his ego
when you beat him up but go out there and be the man, apologise"
Me:"i don't need him Xolani,
what’s wrong with you?"
X:"money is not everything
Thembu, yes it helps you get whatever you want in life but i have learned that
even with all the money in the world you can still feel empty inside owk, i
have felt that, i have money Thembu, lots of money, the money that you are now
helping me to spend but it doesn't mean anything to me....i have a hole in my
heart, a hole that.....that......only my dad can fill" he looked down as
he said the last statement and then he continued "you have filled a hole
in my heart that Xolile had left, but i do need my father and unlike yours, i
don’t know where my father is Thembu, if i knew i was gonna go to him and beg
him to be a father to me, it’s tough bro, it really is tough"
Me:"i thought your dad used to
come and visit you guys, that’s what you told me"
X:"sorry i lied, i mean how I
accept that my dad left us and never looked back bro, i mean are we that toxic?
Part of me want him to visit us"
Me:"i am sorry"
X:"don't be sorry, apologise to
your father Thembu, you need him...all this money means nothing when you don’t
have a bond with your family, take it from me, my life was really empty before
i met you, i missed my dad and Xolile, that’s why i was always with different
girls every day and partying none stop, i wanted to make myself feel
better.....now that i have a brother....i mean you.....i am hoping that my dad
will also come back to our lives again" he closed his eyes and continued
"i wanna meet your dad" and he started sobbing. I couldn't believe
it, Xolani was crying. I felt confused and didn’t know what to do or say, i
mean what do you do when things are like this, do you hug him? But it don’t
feel right to hug a guy. I moved closer to him sat next to him
Me:"Xolani....." i
breathed, I ran out of things to say, i continued "i am sorry about your
dad and Xolile" I took another deep breath, this was hard for me
X:"i don’t want you to be Sorry
Thembu, i want you to get the f**k up and apologise to your f***ing dad owk? Just
do that" he got up and left.
I understand what Xolani was saying
but me and him had different views as far as fathers were concerned. His father
was never there for him and somehow he still has that hunger to be someone’s
son, to play soccer with his dad, watch a soccer game with him and have some
sort of a relationship. But it wasn’t like that for me…I had known my dad my
whole life and my relationship with him had been toxic. He is one person in the
world I could confess to hating. So I don’t know if I was going to be able to
apologise to him…if anything he needed to apologise to us for all the pain he
caused us over the years. I mean what will I be saying to him if I apologise?
Will I be saying that I am sorry for beating you up once and you were right for
beating up my mother all these years? No I couldn’t. After few hours Xolani and
I had another talk and I explained to him why I couldn’t apologise to my dad
and he understood.
So my family went to Tshililo’s
family and started the negotiations. After they were told how much was required
for Tshililo’s hand in marriage. We didn’t waste any more time….two days after
the first meeting they went back with all the money required. Yep after that
Tshililo said she didn’t want to have a big wedding. I mean we were having a
baby shortly so she said all she wanted was a small family party. So yeah we
did that at her local church and after the party everybody gathered at her
place and we enjoyed the food. Even though Tshililo’s mom didn’t particularly
like me…nobody can say no to lobola money people…no black parent can ever do
that so she finally accepted me as her son in law. I was happy that Tshililo
and I were finally a husband and wife. After the party at her place we then
went to mine and the party continued. Although it was just a small family
thing…everything was fancy and lit…we had a beautiful little ceremony. Sihle
also came up to Venda for the ceremony. So after the party we had to drive back
to George, School was opening on Monday and the party was on Saturday….we
decided to drive back first thing Sunday morning. Yep as good as everything
was…we still had school and being at home for a month felt like a whole year
but hey life had to go on. Everyone said goodbyes to us…I could see that people
wanted us to still stick around but hey we had to leave. We drove with my car
all four of us.
So we drove the whole day and we got
to George at night, we didn’t really get time to rest so we were dead tired. We
got to George and before we could make our way to campus Xolani said that there
was a guy he had to see in town. So we drove to this beautiful house. There
were few cars outside and if I didn’t know better I’d say I saw Stick’s car. He
asked us all to go in with him. Tshililo and I were complaining the whole time.
We walked to the house and then got in. we got the shock of our lives when we
were greeted with “SURPRISE!!!” dammit everyone was there.
Our colleagues and their wives and
girlfriends were there, few of our class mates were also there…Ncedo and
Thembani were also here. Everyone came and congratulated us on the wedding. I
couldn’t believe this. Dude I was emotional. As shity as my life was at times,
I was truly blessed…I had true friends. I kept on looking at Xolani and he just
laughed…I knew that he was behind all this. After a little bit of chit chatting
I was asked to make a speech…well I did a short speech and Tshililo said
something too. We were just too happy man…everything was happening too fast and
it was all crazy and overwhelming.
So we spent the time with our friends
as they were drinking and dancing. Yep there was some music as well. After an
hour or two…people said their goodbyes and left. Well I was glad because I was
tired and needed to go to my room and rest. This was my party so Tshililo and I
had to wait for everyone else to leave first and then we can say goodbye to the
owner of the house and left. Our presents were all over the house…well we’ll
have to come for them tomorrow. I was shocked when everyone left and I was left
with Tshili, Xolani and Sihle in the house.
Me:"uhm whose house is
this?" I said looking at Xolani as soon as the last car left
X:"uhm it’s yours"
Tshililo and I looked at each other
Tshili:”what do you mean Xolani?"
X:"uhm your wedding present?"
ow no this can't be,
Me: “no Xolani you can't bro, nope
you really can't…why though?"
X:"because I can" he
smiled
Tshili:"Sihle did you know
about this?"
Sihle:"oww yeah i did, i am the
one who chose the decorations because i know your style baby but you can change
whatever you wanna change" she was smiling at Tshili
Me:"Xolani mfowethu i am
speechless"
Sihle:"Don't be because we want
you to go to bed right now because you will have an early morning tomorrow"
Tshililo and I looked at each other again and then we looked back at Sihle and
Xolani
X:"your honey moon guys, do you
think i was gonna let you marry and not go to the honey moon? No ways" he
smirked…what the hell was wrong with this dude? I couldn’t help but chuckle
Me: “what?" this was too much
Tshili:"don't you think it’s a
bit too much?" she said with a giggle
X:"not for my brother" he
came closer to me and hugged me, i honestly wanted to cry, this guy was way too
generous, we broke the hug and then he hugged Tshili
Tshili:"thanks Xolani"
X:"anything for my favourite
couple"
Sihle:"so now go to bed please,
come i will show you your room, you have to be early tomorrow"
Tshili:'where are we going?"
she was smiling, Sihle and Xolani looked at each other and smiled
Sihle:"Fact…Durban rocks"
she was singing
Me: “what?" I said with a
giggle
Tshili:"you are joking
right?" she had the biggest smile ever
X:"uhm nope, you guys are going
to Durban and me and my girl here will be in Cape Town…no classes for us on the
first week of school" we both screamed and hugged each other. I couldn't
believe that I was going to Durban with my girl. I was shocked when we got to
the bedroom and found that all our clothes had been collected…how did Xolani
pull this off? He was with us in Venda mus?
Zwi a Penga
Insert 23
Six months later. It was January and
the school were about to open. Well Tshililo and I didn’t go home because we
had my sister, my brother and Tshili’s sister come visit us. Yep it was great
having festive season with them. Tshili’s sister’s name was Onndwela and she was
the same age as Rendani. Tshililo and me even went to Xolani’s place for a week.
It was great being with his family for a change. Some miracle happened and I
managed to pass all my modules last year except for one that I didn’t qualify
for first semester, yeah I am sure Jesus was here in flesh…I mean I couldn’t
even believe it myself. Xolani came back a weekend before school opens and
Tshilillo and I asked him to move in with us along with Sihle but he refused.
He said he is happy to spend the night every now and again but moving in was
not a good idea. He wanted us to still enjoy our private space together. Ow of
all the Universities in Msanzi, Sharon decided to come and study at NMMU. Yep
she called me herself telling me that she was in George and had already got a
room…I couldn’t believe it. yeah me and her were just friends but I was not
sure if she was going to try and cause any problems between me and Tshililo
plus Tshililo didn’t particularly like Sharon.
Tshililo was now 7 months pregnant
and had gained a bit of weight and I was not allowed to say anything regarding
that. Anyway I was in love with my wife and nothing had changed…she was still
the only person in the world who made my blood flow in reverse…yep she had that
effect on me. Tshililo suggested that she wanted to take a year off school
taking care of our baby. Well we had the money and we were only turning 21 this
year so there was no rush…I didn’t see any reason to force her into going back
to school if she didn’t want. As for me…I was definitely going back to school.
We were having a boy, yep we went to the Doctor and checked it out so we
decided to name him Thembuluwo Junior Mudau….aka TJ Mudau. Of all the names, I
felt that my name was more fitting. This was my first born people…and I was
proud to be the father so we decided on giving our son my name.
With Sharon being here in George I
decided to tell Tshililo about her existence. She jumped up a bit but I ensured
her that I had nothing on Sharon and that I felt nothing for the girl…I asked
her to trust me and she did. I also told Xolani about it and he wasn’t too
happy. I don’t know why he thought Sharon could be a threat on my marriage…yes
I hung around with her last year during June holidays before I got married to
Tshililo but that’s all...we didn’t do anything else other than the one round
of sex that happened like ages ago. Me, Xolani and Sihle managed to register at
school. Tshililo decided to take a break for a year and she said she was going
to go back the following year.
So there was a school opening bash
on a Saturday night. I was obviously going with Xolani. I asked Tshililo about
it and she wasn’t too happy at first but I explained to her that I had been
with her the whole December and not once did I leave her sight so at least she
should give me this one night to be with my friends…well she agreed….yeyyyy
Few drinks into the party and me and
my boys were just chilling at a corner. We were the big boys now and didn’t
have to jump around and dance, all we did was look at the girls.
Ncedo:"dammmn boy, look at that
one"
Thembani:"the things i can do
to that ass, daaamn"
X:"mhm the ladies are looking sooo
fine"
Ncedo:"it’s allowed to forget
your girlfriend just for the night right?" he said looking to us all
Me:"i am not sure hey"
X:"as long as you are not
married then it’s allowed" they looked at me and laughed
Me:"oww really now X?" I
was busy drinking when I saw a very familiar face on the dance floor, damn
that's Sharon, what the hell was she doing here? ahg no no no, she was with a
guy, some guy with the face that says i-am-a-damn-player
Me:"uhm guys i will be just a
minute" Xolani followed my eyes and realised who I was going to and
grabbed my arm
X:"you are not going there
Thembu"
Me:"Xolani please just let me
go" i yanked my hand out of his and walked over to Sharon, she was dancing
with that guy. I was a bit tipsy by now
Me: “hi" I said that leaning
over to her while looking on the floor with my hands on my hips, Sharon looked
at me in surprise
Sharon:"woow Thembu hi"
she smiled
Me: “you’ve only been here for two
seconds and already you are dancing with players?"
Guy: “dude what the F is your
problem huh?" the guy said that looking straight at me holding Sharon’s
hand
Sharon: “Thembu please i am an adult
ok"
Guy: “you heard the girl so leave us
the F alone"
Me:"i don’t give a damn what
the girl said" I pushed the guy and then grabbed Sharon’s hand and walked
outside with her. The guy followed me and then grabbed me by my shirt
Guy: “who do you think you are
huh?" we were now outside
Sharon: “guys please stop"
Me:"i am the guy who don't take
S**t" Xolani got to us and removed that guy from me
X:"let go of my brother before
something bad happens to you, just go" the guy looked at me and then at
Xolani
Guy: “this is not over" and he
walked back to the party, Sharon just looked at me obviously pissed
X:"Thembu what is your problem
huh, are you trying to get yourself killed or what? And why are you doing this?
i mean you are married bro" Xolani walked inside the hall, he obviously
looked pissed at me
Sharon:" Thembuluwo what is
your problem huh?" she had her hands on her hips
Me: “what were you doing with that
scumbag?"
Sharon: ‘it’s none of your business,
you have a damn ring on your finger Thembu, you are married and I want you to
stop acting like we are an item only when it suits you, i can dance with whoever
i want and you have to accept that" i moved closer to her
Me: “please forgive me, i don't know
what came over me"
Sharon:"i will tell you what
came over you, you are jealous and you don't wanna see me with other guys, oww
well Thmbuluwo you have to accept this, you can't have your cake and eat
it"
Me:" Sharon washu"
Sharon:"i can’t do this"
she tried to leave but I took her hand
Me:"i don't know what this is
Sharon but there is something that i am feeling"
Sharon:"i know and i am sorry
but we can’t do anything about it, for me it’s not something, its love, i love
you but i have learned to accept that i can't have you, though it wasn't easy
but i didn't have a choice.....and.....and you need to let me date other people
without interfering" I moved closer to her
Sharon: “Thembu i..." I put my
index finger on her mouth to get her to keep quiet. I had no idea what I was
trying to do, Tshililo was obviously going to murder me after this, Tshililo
would kill me, but i wanted this girl, i wanted her so bad
Me: “do you want me?" i asked
looking down on her and she looked up to me
Sharon: “but there is Tshililo"
she whispered
Me: “she is not here, it’s just me
and you now" i couldn't believe that I said those words, what am i doing?
Thembuluwo what are you doing?, i silently screamed those words, i wanted to
stop this, i really wanted to, but i couldn’t, Sharon was so hot and i wanted
her for myself, i couldn't bear the thought of another guy with her, what do i
do? i benrt down to kiss her.
I stopped mid-air before my mouth
could touch hers. I thought of my wedding day, my vows to Tshililo, i promised
to love her and to put her happiness first, i thought of KuThembu
(LittleThembu), my first born, I couldn’t hurt Tshililo like this, the poor
girl had been through a lot because of me and right now she was probably
sleeping in our bedroom, on our big king sized bed all alone while i do this, I
let go of Sharon and put my hands in the air as if trying to stop her from
moving closer to me
Me:"i am sorry i can't do
this" I turned away from her. Sharon came and stood next to me
Shaz:"Thembu what do you mean?"
she touched my face with her one hand but I removed it
Me: “I can’t do this to Tshililo, i
love her owk?"
Shaz:"but she is not here, you
said so yourself" the last part was a whisper
Me: “look at my finger Sharon, i am
married owk? And married guys don’t do this" i waved my hand in front of
her” you’ll forgive me but it won’t be fair on either of us for me to do this,
it won’t be fair to Tshili and my child or to you"
Sharon:"Thembuluwo lets just do
this once, just tonight"
Me:"i am sorry Sharon, go back
to the party, go dance with any other guy you wanna dance with or date whoever
you want, i will stay out of your life, i don’t wanna hurt you"
Shaz:"you won’t hurt me, i know
you are a good guy" i let out a fake laugh
Me:"i won’t be a good guy
anymore if i do this with you, i am sorry, and right now i am not even sure if
we can still be friends anymore, forgive me" and i walked to my car. I
left her standing there looking all surprised. I walked to my car and got in.
I sent Xolani a message
"I am sorry about tonight, I
know you are disappointed in me, i am disappointed in myself too. I am not
coming back to the hall, i am driving back home to my wife"
I pressed send and started the car.
The time was past 12 mid night and I was sure that Tshililo was still sleeping.
I got home and walked all the way to our bedroom. I couldn’t help but felt
guilty about what I almost did. Tshililo didn’t deserve me cheating on her, not
at all. I went to the shower and took a quick shower and then came back to bed.
She woke up as soon as I joined her in bed. Well, lying was not really for me
and I knew that lying can always backfire so I decided to come clean to
Tshililo. So I told her everything that took place as it is, I left nothing
out. Ok she freaked out…well that don’t even explains it, she got pissed my
man. I also told her about the fact that I’ve been talking to Sharon behind her
back for a while and damn I was chased out of the bedroom. Yeah I was told to
leave. Well at least I had told her the truth and had nothing to hide from her
anymore.
TSHILILO
Ok I believed everything that Thembu
had told me and I trusted him but it was the bitch I didn’t trust. I was hurt
though, I won’t even try to lie about that. But at least he didn’t kiss her. I
was worried about one thing…Thembu said the girl was in love with him…girls can
do crazy things when they are in love with someone. I know this because I tried
to sleep with Thembu even though he had Sibu and look at me now? Married to
him. I couldn’t let Sharon stay anywhere near him…I didn’t want her to take my
place whenever I slip up or make some mistake…I had to get rid of her.
So the following morning I managed
to get her cell phone numbers from Thembuluwo’s phone without him noticing and
then I sent her a text asking to meet in an hour. I asked her not to use the
other phone saying that the wife had it. Yeah I had to be clever about this. I
borrowed Thembu’s car and drove to the mall where I was to meet the little
Sharon. Sharon was already waiting when I got there. I looked her up on Facebook
so that I can see how she looked like. Yeah she was not something to be threatened
about, not really Thembu’s type but hey even the none pretty ones can take your
man.
Ya’ll know how these bitches tryna
steal your man can be… Sharon was just as arrogant as the rest of them…acting
like she could take what I had if she wanted to. Well I had to show her who she
was dealing with shame. If I was to stay as Thembu’s wife then maybe I needed
to start embracing my title…Thembu was a gangster and I was the gangster’s wife
and gangster’s wives fight for what’s theirs…Thembu was still young and if I
don’t step up it was easy for me to get replaced. So yeah I told that girl to
back off, she tried to act funny but I made it clear that I could stab her if
needs be…she tried to laugh it off thinking that I was joking but I pulled my
most serious face and starred that bitch in the eyes and made it clear to her
that I was a gangster wife and I know all about guns and stuff and if it comes
down to her being much of a threat then I’d erase her from the face of the
earth. She tried to smile as I was saying all that but the smile faded and all
I saw was fear in her eyes. I was not laughing or smiling…I had my serious face
on and looking at me she could see that I meant every word I was saying. She
ran out of that restaurant and left me sitting there. Well that’s kinda what I
wanted. I wanted her to be scared of me so that she could stay away from my man
THEMBU
So Tshililo was at the mall and I
was chilling with Xolani and Sihle when I received a call from Sharon….i
ignored it. She called again and I still ignored it. She then send me a text saying
that Tshililo had been threatening to stab her and shoot her for me. What the
hell? I called Sharon immediately and she told me that she don’t ever wants to
see me ever again and that I should stay away from her because my wife was a
serious psycho who looked like she could really kill her. Ok I was shocked and
didn’t want to believe her but she told me that Tshililo was with her at the
mall now. Well if I say I wasn’t disappointed then I will be lying. I just told
Sharon that it’s cool and we don’t have to keep in contact.
After a while Tshililo came back and
then I called her to the bedroom for some privacy. I asked her where she’s been
and she said she’s only been to the mall and that she did some shopping she
said nothing about Sharon
Me:" cut the bullshit Tshililo,
i know that you met up with Sharon, like really, how can you stoop so low huh,
after being faithful to you and telling you that nothing was happening between
me and her you still went and talked to her?"
Tshili:" no no no you are
taking this too far now…Thembuluwo I was doing damage control for the damage
you have caused with this girl…and I think I dealt with all this accordingly”
Me:” what you did is embarrassing
for me…and what’s this damage control you are talking about huh? Why didn’t you
tell me about it? And you even told her about being a gangster wife really? You
went on to say that you’d stab her…like what’s got into you huh?”
Tshili:"Thembuluwo i seriously
don't wanna fight with you because of that girl, so you were talking to her
again?"
Me:"ahg Tshililo Futsek
bruh….so you don’t trust me? I mean you didn’t believe me when I told you that
nothing was happening between me and the girl?”
Tshili:” I do trust you but girls
like Sharon needs what I gave her today...she won’t ever be in our lives again”
Me:” babe look at me…I don’t want
you to stress because it’s not good for the baby but you can’t go around
threatening people”
Sthili:” but-“
Me:” no buts, I am a man Tshililo
and I am telling you that something like this should never happen again. Do you
want to start acting like village women who go around fighting for their
husbands? No man stop fighting for me because I know what I want. Let me tell
you something neh….if I want to leave you I will leave, it really doesn’t
matter how much you try to fight for me so stop acting like those women from
WWE please, i am here because i want to and you don’t have to fight for me"
I said that and walked out of the room
Zwi a Penga
Insert 24
So Jay called up a meeting at his
club. We were informed that Svig’s wife gave birth to a bouncing baby girl. The
child was already three months and the news was kept a secret from us all….no
wonder Sibu didn’t come to the get together. Everyone was happy for the boss.
There was going to be a party at Grahamstown for the baby and we were all invited…well
I don’t know if I wanted to go, I really don’t.
Tshililo apologised for what she
did. She said that she acted out of fear of losing me and that she shouldn’t
have approached Sharon. Well I forgave her; there was no need to hold it
against her. Here is what I found funny; she also said that even though she was
sorry, she kinda enjoyed the whole thing. She said that she enjoyed threatening
Sharon and telling her that she’d kill her without blinking. People I have
never laughed so hard, I mean what the hell was happening with my woman? Was
she turning into a female version of me? Anyway I laughed. So I also told her
that our new car was arriving tomorrow….yep I ordered a car online with Xolani
and it was to be delivered tomorrow. Yeah yeah right my business car was not
gonna cut it, i was a family man now and I needed a family car at least. Although
i was also spending Xolani’s money i also had my own money because Jay was
paying us really well hey...i was making more than 100k per month.
The following morning our car was delivered.
Dude I went crazy along with my woman. It looked different from the pictures…it
looked more beautiful, I couldn’t believe that I actually owned a 2014 Mercedes-Benz
SUV. Tshililo couldn’t believe it either…she kept on laughing and hugging me
looking at the car. Lord God is great, who ever thought that Thembuluwo Mudau
could own this car? Dammit! So Tshili and I got inside the car after I signed
the paper work and we drove to NMMU, we had to show it off to Xolani and
Sihle…we wanted to take them for a spin. Bruh students were staring at us…we
kept on looking at each other and just giggle. So we got to the campus and
called Xolani and Sihle to come to the parking
X:"no no no no no no
whaaaaaaat?"
Sihle:"huh uh guys this is
wooow"
Me:"owwwww yeah bbe"
X:"this baby looks lit in
person, dude are you sure it’s the same car we chose?"
Me:"100%"
Tshili:"you like?"
X:"girl, are you crazy? Like? i
am going crazy right now....no no no no Thembu i also want this baby for myself
dammmn" he opened the front seat
X:”S***t this car is made up, this
is kak jong"
Me:"i am telling you bro"
Tshili:"guys get in, we are
test driving this babbbby"
Sihle:"i am not complaining"
we all got in
X:"wherever we go neh, just
know that i will be driving when we come back" we all laughed
Me:"where to? Obviously not the
mall, we have to go somewhere a bit far, I want to really feel this car"
X:"let’s go to Mossel Bay"
Sihle:"Mossel Bay it is"
After Mossel Bay we came back to the
house and decided to chill.
It was a bit late and we were still chilling
together and i was sitting with Tshili on one couch with her head resting
against my arm when my phone rang. I took it out and it was Sharon calling. I
looked at the screen not knowing what to do. Tshililo looked at me as if asking
why I was not picking up. It stopped ringing and then rang again. I didn’t want
to cause any more problems so I picked up
Me:” Sharon I thought we are not
supposed to stay in contact”
Sharon:" I know that Thembuluwo
but I need your help” she was crying and her voice was almost a whisper. I sat
up straight
Me:” what kind of help?”
Sharon:” I have been kidnapped
Thembu, I don’t know what to do or where to go please call the cops. The house
number is 44 Gerisson street please”
"What the fuck do you think you
are doing huh?" I heard the guy shouting at the background and then Sharon
screaming and then the line went dead
Me:"Sharon.....Sharon .....Sha-"
I got up and looked up on the ceiling and then down at Tshililo with my hands on
my hips
X:"what’s going on?"
Me:"Sharon has been
kidnapped"
Sihle:"who is Sharon?"
Tshili:"Thembu's Ex?" she
said with a low tone, she was clearly not happy with the mention of Sharon’s
name
Sihle:"and why is she calling
you?" she said that looking at me
Me:"I am the only person she
knows in George.....guys please I will answer the questions later but right now
I need to call the police and then drive to the address she gave me, she told
me the house number and the street name"
X:"uhm I will come with you, I
will also call Javas"
Sihle:"who is Javas kengoku?"
Tshili:"Thembu you are not
going anywhere. Let Xolani go and you can chill here with me and give Javas a
call” Xolani looked at Tshililo with a shocked expression
Me:"Tshililo washu, when did you
become so heartless huh? The poor girl’s life is in danger and all you are
thinking about is your jealous? Huh uh baby I love you and only you but that
doesn’t mean that I have to let Sharon get murdered”
Tshili:"Thembuluwo what can you
possibly do? You are not a police" I breathed looking at her…what was wrong
with my girl huh?
Me:"I can't believe this, X I
will send the address on your phone so that you don't forget and I will call
Javas, as for you, if that girl dies then it’s on you, I will blame you" I
said the last statement looking at her
X:"Tshili I am sorry to stick my
nose but this is not the right time, someone's life is in danger and just let
me and Thembu help her, I promise you that's where it will end, I will make
sure of that, Thembu lets go mfowethu" I looked at Tshililo and she looked
back at me, she just shrugged her shoulders and walked up the stairs. I ran to
my room and took two guns and walked out with them
Me:"eish I am a bit worried
about Tshililo” I said as soon as I got to Xolani
X:"you will talk to her when we
come back she is gonna be fine, I also don't like that girl but we need to help
her"
Me:"yeah you are right, we are
taking the benz, dial the police"
X:"nah let’s try Javas first, I
know the police won't do much"
Me:"sure" he took out his
phone and started dialling.
Xolani called Javas and told him
what happened and then asked him for help. Javas told us to lay low for now and
that they were going to the Address that Xolani gave them. In the mean time
Xolani and I just drove around until we received a call from Javas. He said that
they went to the address we gave them and they found no one but it looked like
people had just left. Dammit I felt sorry for the poor girl. I was still
panicking and blaming myself when I received a call from a number I didn’t
know. I quickly picked it up and it was Sharon…all she did was cry trying to
talk to me and then some guy took the phone from her. He told me he needed money…one
million to be exact or else he was going to kill her. He wanted 1 million Rand
the same day. I really panicked when he said that I could even sell the Benz if
the money was not enough. This is when I totally freaked out and started
stressing about Sihle and Tshililo. If this guy knew about the Benz then he
knew where we were staying and could possibly go back to the house. The guy
said he’d call us back to tell us where to give him the cash. Xolani and I
drove back to the house as fast as we could. Xolani called Jay asking him for
some cash while we were on our way. Jay said they had some money laying
somewhere in the club so the money issue was covered…all we had to do was wait
for the guy.
My car sped back home and we got to
the house and told Tshili and Sihle that we were leaving right away. We couldn’t
deal with the issue at hand knowing fully well that our women were not
protected. They were all asking questions and wondering why we were leaving
with them and where we were going. We took them to Jay’s club and told them
that we will explain everything later. We left them at the public bar and went
to the private bar where we had a meeting with the guys. Jay had the money ready
and the guys were also ready. We were waiting for a phonecall from the
kidnapper. The plan was that some of the guys will be in hiding while I go
there with the money and then they will attack. The guys were not bothered; Jay
even said that whoever was doing this was just an amateur who had no idea who
he was dealing with.
The guy called and asked me to come
to the cinema with the money. He said that he will send me an sms when I get
there with the cinema number where i was to drop the money at. Javas drove to the
mall to wait for him and i was going to forward him the message with the cinema
number as soon as it was forwarded to me. Tshililo didn’t want me to leave but
I told her that I was going to be fine. I left the club alone with a bag full
of stakes of money. I received a message as soon as I got there. I was told to
put the money in cinema number four top left corner of the hall. I forwarded
the message to Javas. I walked inside the hall and found Javas already sitting
close to that seat. I put the bag down and walked out. I received another
message saying that Sharon was now close to my car. I quickly ran outside…I ran
into Sticks and Gerrit on my way out but I didn’t say anything to them. I ran
to the parking and found Sharon sitting on the floor close to my car. She
looked terrible…shame. She got up and gave me a hug as soon as she saw me…she
was crying.
I told her to get in the car so that
we could leave. She asked whose car was this and I told her that its mine…she
was shocked. I drove her to campus. I texted Jay on my way informing him that I
got the girl. Gerrit called and told me that they were waiting for the guy to
leave the cinema so that they can follow him and teach him a lesson. After the
call with Gerrit I asked Sharon if she knew the guy. She said it’s the same guy
she was dancing with in the club. He told her that she had a rich boyfriend who
could make him rich and that’s why he did this whole thing. She also said that
he looks like he was on some gang or something like that. Ahg I was not really
bothered because I was sure that its one of those silly township boys tryna
play the game. She was worried about the guy and that he’ll follow her to her
room but I assured her that the police were going to take care of him…well I
just didn’t want to tell her that my colleagues were actually going to do the
job
We got to her room and she took a
shower while i ordered her a pizza and something to drink. She didn’t have any
food, that’s why i ordered something. After the Shower Sharon came back and she
couldn’t stop thanking me. I was still there with her when Tshililo called. She
told me that she was worried about me. I told her I was fine and that I was on
my way back. I received a call from Gerrit saying that they got the guy and
they were taking him to the club…he was going to be dealt with in the sound
proofed room. I drove to the club and used the back door and made my way to the
sound proofed room. The guy was already tied to the chair. All I wanted to do was
look at him and know that he was going to surfer for what he did. I told the
guys that I wasn’t keen on witnessing the episode that was about to play and
they said that I was excused. Xolani and I left the guys and went to the club
for our girls.
They ran to us and gave us hugs.
Tshililo was crying. Well it was understandable, her hormones were all over the
place. We walked out the building
Tshili:” I was scared” she was crying
Me:” I am fine babe, no need to
stress”
Tshili:"like hell you are"
Me:"what?"
Tshili:"how do you explain this
huh? i am sitting at some bar, stressed and panicking because you are out
saving the day for you ex girlfriend, how is any of that fair Thembu huh? I
mean we were supposed to be home chilling right now but no apparently Sharon
takes the front seat in all this. Look at my feet, they are swollen and this
whole place smells like a damn brewery mixed with a cosmetic shop or
whatever…the smells in there made me sick” yohh what the hell?
Me:"babe"
Tshili:" I just wanna go home,
take me home"she walked to the car and I followed…she was pissed.
We all got in the car and I started
driving
Sihle:"i really want someone to
explain to me what is going on here, none of this makes sense"
X:"bbe please, when we get to
the house ok?" Tshililo was not saying anything but she looked super
angry. We got to the house in total silence. We got out of the car and walked
to the house
Sihle:"owk here we are tell us what’s
happening"
X:"babe sit down, i will tell
you everything"
Tshili:"i know everything so i
am going to bed"
Sihle:"what do you mean you
know everything? Can you please just stay for this?" Tshililo looked at me
and then at Sihle and she sat down on a sofa, I was standing against a wall
looking at them
X:"Sihle babe there is no
better way to say this so i will just say it as it is"
Sihle:"ok"
X:"i am a gangster" Sihle
looked at Xolani, at me and then at Tshili, she laughed a bit and then she
realised that all of us had our serious faces on
Sihle:"uhm that’s supposed to
be a joke right?"
X:"if that’s how you wanna see
it but no it’s not a joke" she looked around and let out a fake laugh
Sihle:" are you serious? You
are a gangster as in you are a criminal? i thought your family have businesses?
That’s what you told me"
X:"i do have businesses, not my
family's but my own"
Sihle:"wait wait wait" she
stood up
Sihle"i am confused here, so
you have been lying to me all this time Xolani?" Xolani kept quiet and
looked at her
Sihle "i am asking you a question,
you've been lying to me?"
Me:"uhm it was not like that
Sihle"
Sihle:"you haven't changed your
name to Xolani right? So keep quiet" yohh I decided to keep quiet
X:"Sihle you can't just expect
me to walk up to you and say hi, my name is Xolani and i am a gangster,
really?"
Sihle:"that would have been
better than this.....and Tshililo did you know about this?" Tshililo scratched
her head
Tshili:"uhm well.....i found
out from Thembu....he is also a.....well......a gangster"
Sihle:"you have got to be
kidding me, so all this time Tshililo? All this time you knew and you didn't
care to tell me? Why huh?"
Tshili:"it was not my place to
tell you"
Sihle:"wooow i can't believe
that you guys have been making me a fool, i....i thought i meant something to
you all, but clearly i meant nothing, and as for you Xolani" she looked up
at the ceiling with her hands on her hips…she was trying to stop the tears
Sihle "i....i think we have
come to an end"
X:"what?"
Sihle:"yeah we are done"
and she walked to the door
X:"no bbe please and where the
hell are you going now?"
Sihle:"i will get a cab to the
campus"
Me:"uhm take my ford boy and
drive her to the campus you guys need to talk"
X:"this is all your damn fault
Thembu, if only.....if only you had kept it together that night, we wouldn't be
in this mess right now" he took the keys and walked out
Me:"wooow that was not what i
expected" Tshililo got up and went to the kitchen and I followed her
Me:"bbe we can't continue like
this, please try to understand what happened, that guy wanted my money and that’s
why he kidnapped Sharon, I mean if something had happened to her then it would
have been my fault. How was I going to live with myself knowing that I refused
to help her? Would you have lived with yourself if we didn’t help?”
Tshili:"DO NOT” she breathed
Tshili"do not make this about
me Thembuluwo, this is about you and not wanting to cut all ties with her"
Me:"Tshililo you are being
unfair now"
Tshili:"really Thembu, I asked
you nicely to let Xolani handle the whole thing…I didn’t say you should not
help her, I just didn’t want you anywhere near her”
Me:"ahgg Tshililo get a grip
man, i was saving the girl's life for f**ks sake, i was not sleeping with the
damn girl ok.....and please stop with this jealousy madness of yours because
none of it is good for my child"
Tshili:"don't ever give me that
'it’s not good for the baby' crap ok....i mean it doesn't matter how i feel or
how hurt i am and you don't even care about my feelings, all you care about is
that i might lose the baby"
Me:"Tshililo respect"
Tshili:"I am tired Thembuluwo,
you don't respect me either"
Me:"bbe washu"
Tshili:"what? "
Me:"bbe I love you with my
everything but I couldn’t let Sharon die please try to understand this nana,
this is not worth us fighting for ok?"
Tshili:"you don't understand
how painful it is to be pregnant and wait for your husband while he is out
being a hero for his ex, how is that Sharon girl supposed to get the message
that you don't want her? She obviously thinks that she has a special place in
your heart right now"
Me:"sorry bbe but i had to
help"
Tshili:"if this was Luvhengo
needing my help and I went to any length trying to help him and went as far as
put my life in danger for him, were you gonna be cool about it?" she was
now calm with tears in her eyes… she was putting some food in the microwave
Me:"you are not honestly
bringing your abusive ex into this conversation"
Tshili:"my abusive ex boyfriend
never used to run around saving the day for his ex's, at least he respected
that part of our relationship" my mind went blank, i couldn't believe that
Tshililo just compared me to Luvhengo and made me a bad guy
Me:"you don't mean that"
honestly i was hurt
Me:"do you still want him? I
mean Luvhengo, do you still want to be with him?" I was in pain
Tshili:"you are not getting the
message are you? i love you ok? only you Thembuluwo and you are hurting me, you
hurt me almost every day Thembu, how am i supposed to live with this huh, I
support you through everything and the least you can do is respect me and our
vows” she sobbed, i tried to move closer to her but she put her hands in the
air signalling for me not to come closer
Me:"owk sorry"
Tshili:"I am tired Thembuluwo,
i need to get some air" she took the car keys
Me:"Tshililo you are not going
anywhere it’s late"
Tshili:"you are not gonna stop
me"
Me:"try me" she walked to
the door and I followed her and stood there holding the lock
Tshili:" I don’t want to fight
you, let me go"
Me:" I am not letting you leave
with my child in this condition, especially when you are like this"
Tshili:"once again, you are
only concerned about the baby" she turned around and put the keys on the
table…I took them and put them in my pocket. She was walking up the stairs when
she tripped and fall
Me:"babe!" I quickly ran
to her as she was screaming in pain. She was calling my name and crying for the
baby. Nooo not my baby…I was seriously panicking.
Me:” Tshili…Baby are you…are you
ok?” she was crying
Tshili:” Thembuluwo the baby…our
baby” so I helped her to the car while she cries and screams and cursed. I
quickly drove her to the hospital.
Zwi a Penga
Insert 25
I got her to the hospital and
explained to them what happened to her. They quickly rushed her to the theatre
and I just sat there alone panicking. After a long time the Doctor came to me
and told me that they managed to save her but they were still working on saving
the baby. They said that the heart beat was still there but it was not normal.
Jesus I cried, like seriously cried…I didn’t want to lose my baby, gosh I had
grown to love that baby, I couldn’t lose him. I signed some paperwork’s giving
the Doctors permission to do whatever it is they wanted to do to her. It was
after mid night and I was still in hospital. The Doctor advised me to leave but
I couldn’t leave her in there so I stayed. I called my mom and told her what
happened to Tshililo. I didn’t tell her the whole thing, just that she tripped
and fall. I asked my mom to come…I couldn’t do it by myself, this was bigger
than me. Losing a child was not a child’s play…I needed my mom here. She told
me that she’s gonna try get someone who can drive her to Gauteng right at that
moment so that she can board the first flight to George the following morning. I
was glad that my mom was coming. After the call with my mom I called Xolani and
informed him. He drove to the hospital immediately. Sihle was with him. They
got here and they both gave me a hug as I cry in their arms. Jeeez I’d been
though some serious s*** neh? But nothing could be compared to what I was
feeling at that moment. I was glad that Tshili was fine but I also didn’t want
to lose the baby. We’d planned everything for him, I had bonded with him….like
I just couldn’t see a way forward without him and to think that this was all my
fault…if there was no Sharon then we wouldn’t have fought and she wouldn’t have
tripped and fall.
In the early hours of the morning we
were allowed to go see her. Guess what she did…she chased me away like a
dog…yep I said like a dog. She said she didn’t want to see me at all. Xolani and
Sihle tried to talk to her but Tshililo didn’t want to hear anything, she wanted
me out of there. With the tail between my legs I walked out of there. I sat
outside the ward on the bench and couldn’t even cry. Have you ever cried so
hard that you can’t even cry anymore? Like your face gets hard and stiff with
tears? That’s how it was like for me…I was also tired but I didn’t want to go
home. After a while Xolani and Sihle came out. A Doctor came and told us that
Tshililo’s surgery was going to start in an hour…they wanted her to give birth
with cesarean section….apparently it was not going to be possible for the baby
to be carried full term anymore. I just had to pray that my baby makes it out
alive. My mom called me at that moment telling me that she is at OR Tambo and
that she is boarding the flight. So in two hours’ time my mom was going to be
here. I left the hospital with Xolani and Sihle…I needed to freshen up so I
planned on coming back to the hospital later that afternoon…Sihle and Xolani
said they were also gonna come back. So I drove home alone.
After I had freshened up I received
a call from my mom saying that she was at the airport. Thank God, I was excited
to see her. So I quickly left the house and drove to the airport. You will
never guess who was with my mom when I got to the airport. Yes…my very own
daddy dearest…the excitement I had just deteriorated…what the hell was he doing
here? I mean he said I was no longer his son. He looked happy to see me and
that came as a shock. I decided to just ignore him; I was not going to play
along. My mom was happy to see me and I was happy to see her too even though I didn’t
understand why she was with my dad. So they were shocked to see my car…yeah they
couldn’t believe that I was driving a Benz. So we drove to my house…still that
was another thing my parents were shocked about…they couldn’t believe
everything I had…the car and the house? They thought it was too much.
Me:” uhm you can make yourselves
feel at home…need anything to eat?”
Dad:” we need to sit down and talk
first” we all sat in the lounge
Me:” thank you for coming” I was
looking at my mom
Dad:” Thembuluwo I know you were not
expecting to see me here but when your mom told me what happened to my daughter
in law and my grandchild I felt that I needed to be here for all of you. I know
I am not the father you are proud of but I do love you” owww so he was still my
father huh?
mom:” when things are like this we
need to stick together as a family”
Dad:” I agree with you, we need to
stick together as one and then everything will be fine”
Me:” unm…dad can you please forgive
me for everything?” I said with tears in my eyes…what if me not forgiving my
dad was the reason why things were like this? I mean I don’t particularly lose
anything by forgiving him
Dad:” please forgive me too for
everything I have done in the past, I have talked to your mom and asked for her
forgiveness. Now if you don’t mind…can we talk about what brought us here?”
I felt like a weight has been lifted
off my shoulders, I felt relieved. I told them the same story I told my mom on
the phone and I also told them about what the Doctor told me regarding Tshililo
and the baby. We then decided to hit the restaurant for some food…there was
nothing in the house. We were leaving the house when my dad asked me if I was
sure about the fact that I was not doing anything illegal to acquire all this
money…I lied again and said that all was legal. I said that Xolani gave me a
loan to start a business and the business was going well.
We went to the restaurant closest to
the hospital. I called Xolani and informed him that mom was here. Yep he used
to call my her mom as well so he was excited and said that he was coming right
away. My dad asked who X was and I told him that it’s a friend of mine. I was
chilling with my parents eating when Xolani appeared…he saw my mom and smiled
walking to her and giving her a hug. She told him how much she missed him and
he said he missed her too.
Me:” uhm Xolani this is my dad” he
was smiling when he turned around to look at my dad and they looked at each
other
Dad:” Xolani?”
X:” dad?” he was really shocked
Dad:” is it really you?” my dad was
also shocked… I was just sitting there not knowing what to think
X:” yes it’s me…but how did you….” owk
this was getting even more weird
Me:"owk wait a minute.....what
is going on here?" Xolani and my dad just starred at each other
Dad:" I can’t believe this"
my dad said that and stood up
X:" all these years? i....i…"
Me:"Xolani you are not making
any sense, do you know my dad?" Xolani gave us that fake laugh
X:"obviously I know my dad bruh"
Mma:"what is going on here?"
X:" you’ll forgive me but I
need to go…I can’t stay here” he had a sad look on his face and just like that
Xolani turned around and walked off. Yohh I was totally confused over here and nobody
seemed to care to explain what was happening, i didn't understand what just
happened. I got up and ran after Xolani…he was getting in the car
Me:"X what just happened back
there?"
X:"i am sure you have already
figured it out Thembu, you are not that dumb" he was starting his car….i
was standing by his window
Me:"i am confused Xolani"
I was being honest, the level of confusion I was in can’t really be explained, my
dad can't be Xolani's dad, nahh that was impossible
X:"your so called abusive
Father Thembu is my father who sort of like abandoned us ok? Like we didn't
deserve his love and clearly you guys did....that’s why he got on the first
flight here when he found out your baby was in danger" and then just like
that Xolani drove off. I just stood there trying to digest everything that
Xolani had said. It really didn’t make any sense, my dad can’t be Xolani’s dad.
I walked back to the restaurant and my mom and dad were in some serious
conversation, clearly about Xolani.
So my mom was pissed about Xolani
issue and yes dad admitted to him being his child. I was interested in knowing
how it happened but mom was not giving him the time of the day so he couldn’t
even explain. So we decided to just walk back to the hospital because the two
of them couldn’t even talk properly…I couldn’t deal with them. We got there and
waited for the Doctor. I called Xolani in the meantime. He was ignoring my calls
and answered on the third ring
X:"what do you want?"
Me:"Xolani don't be like that
please we are brothers"
X:"it’s easy for you to say
because daddy was there when you were growing up but i can't say the same can
i?"
Me:"Xolani please you are my
friend, my best friend"
X:"Thembu i need sometime alone
ok"
Me:"owk I will come by a bit
later"
X:"rather not" and he
hanged up on me.
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