Zwi a Penga (English Version) 16-20

Zwi a Penga

Insert 16

So i woke up to a voice of a strange woman calling my name. Turns out that it was a nurse. I was in a hospital bed but I was in a strange house, not a hospital.  Javas walked in and told me that we were in Svig’s beach house. Well I was glad that I was alive. I asked him about everyone else if they were fine and if they didn’t sustain any serious injuries. Well he said that everyone was fine…thank God. I woke up and then walked out of the room. I found the rest of the guys in the living room watching something on TV. I asked them how we escaped the scene…I mean we had guns in there. Well it turns out that Svig had some contacts with the police and the police he is working with were the first ones on the scene and they cleaned up the scene. Xolani wasn’t there though. I asked for my phone and Gerrit gave it to me. I had to try and call Tshililo. Well I was told that an sms was sent to her…yep one of the guys pretended to be me and sent her an sms while I was still in dream land. I called Tshililo and she was worried sick about me, I told her that everything was fine and she didn’t have to worry about a thing. But she was stressing out about me missing classes and all that.

”uhm guys where is X?” I said as soon as I was done with my phone call with Tshililo

Sticks:” uhm”

Gerrit:” you…you said who?”

Jay:” mhm I love this part of the movie”

Gerrit:” me too” and they both ignored me

Me:” guys that’s enough where is X?”

Sticks:” see V Boy? What happened to X is that….”

Jay:” owk well he got shot somewhere on the head and now he Is not responding, our doctor said he is trying to run the tests to see what treatment can work best because everything he has tried so far is not working, X is not responding to anything” owk I think I went into shock because I just stood there motionless for a very long time. Tears started coming out, I felt like someone very close to me had died, I know he was not dead but what if he ends up dying? What about his mom and his siblings? I fell down on my knees and put both my hands on my face and cried….i can’t lose X, I just can’t

Gerrit:” owk this is why we didn’t wanna say anything”

Sticks:” V Mfowethu he is not dead yet” yet? What does he mean yet?

Gerrit:” are you insane? How can you say that?”

Sticks:” what? I mean you heard the doctor, chances of him making it are very slim”

Gerrit:” you can’t say that in front of him” Gerrit was pointing at me

Jay:” owk here is something that can make you feel better”

Me:” if it doesn’t involve X waking up then I am not interested”

Jay:” believe me you will love this, the guy who shot X is still alive”

Me:”so?”I went to sit on the couch

Jay:” you can get the chance to kill him, pay revenge”

Sticks:” great idea, you can either torture him and I am happy to help on that regard and then kill him afterwards or you can just kill him once and for all”

Me:” but that won’t wake my friend up”

Gerrit:” hey V, you are missing the point here, knowing that the person who did that to your buddy got what he deserves will surely make you feel better” I thought about it, maybe they were right…the person who shot X deserved to die

Me:” let’s do this”

Sticks:” that’s my boy” sticks shook hands with Gerrit while laughing

Sticks:” so do you want me to torture him a bit before you take his life?”

Me:” nope I just want him dead”

Gerrit:” ahh V Boy what’s the fun in that?”

Me:” the fun is that he will be dead, that’s all I need”

Sticks:” owk that’s also fine, as long as we get to blow someone’s head off”

Me:” so where is X?”

Jay:” you wanna see him?”

Me:” yeah please”

Gerrit:” dude are you sure?” I just looked at him

So we walked to another room. There was a hospital bed there. Well I wondered where they got it from. There was also those machines you find in hospital…where the hell did they get this? I looked at Xolani and my heart broke. He had machines on him…he couldn’t breathe by himself so he was on machines. There was a Doctor with him. I asked for some privacy and they all walked away and left me alone with X. I sat there crying and talking a hell lot of s***. I actually begged him to come back to me, I also promised him that I will I will be taking care of his family in the meanwhile.

After chilling with Xolani I went back to the others. There were takeaways so I ate something since I was feeling hungry.

Me:” so where is Svig?” it was only me, Gerrit, Javas, Jay and Sticks

Javas:” in his house”

Me:” and all the other guys?”

Gerrit:” they went about their business”

Me:” and you guys stayed behind?”

Jay:” you and X are like our younger brothers we wanted to stay a bit longer to make sure that you guys are fine, I couldn’t go back to George without one of you guys waking up”

Me:” now I feel a bit special” I said smiling

Sticks:” honestly bro, you are our younger brothers and we will look out for you guys, no matter what”

Me:” thanks guys”

Sticks:” enough about that, finish eating so that we can go get going” I looked at him and just smiled, even though X still had a lot of recovering to do, I was glad that we had friends who cared about us

Me:” uhm guys I am gonna have to go back to George later today and then I can come back here tomorrow, I need to do some things for X”

Jay:” that’s fine, Gerrit and Javas can also leave with you and then you can come back with them tomorrow so that sticks and I can go see our families too”

Me:” thanks hey”

Sticks:” we are a family remember? And Svig said he will also come by tonight, it’s a pity you won’t be here” I had no interest in meeting Svig, in fact I was not even going to try and do the paternity tests anymore…my child or not, Svig can surely have him or her…I was done with Sibulele. I was just glad that at least none of the guys I have met so far could recognise me.

Me:” yeah eish, so what really happened yesterday? Like how did you bring down the mighty Jerome?”

Gerrit:”let me tell you what happened”

Javas:” no let me tell him”

Sticks:” nahh the 2 of you keep quiet, I will tell him” these guys though

Sticks told me everything that happened yesterday and how they brought the mighty Jerome down. For a second there I was thankful for my accident because I don’t think I was strong enough to have been able to deal with everything that happened. I was glad I was not there. I was praying that Sibu won’t say anything and that I won’t have to deal with Svig.

So after the story we left to go find Xolani’s killer. Yeah I left with Gerrit, Javas and Sticks…none of them wanted to be left behind, they all wanted to be there so we went to some tavern where Sticks said the guy would be. Yeah we found him and I was given a gun to do the job. Yohh I chickened out. I looked at the guy and couldn’t believe that I was about to take his life. The guys kept on telling me to do it, they kept on saying all sorts of things to drive me to it but I was scared. At last I did it and when I saw the guy lying on the floor with blood on his head I ran to the car and drove off with the guys. I was crying the whole way. I couldn’t believe that I had become a cold blooded murderer.

So we drove back to the house where the guys were tryna make me feel better about what I did. They were trying to make me understand why the guy had to be erased but hey I was not feeling better. After a while we drove back to Jay’s club where I was going to pick up Xolani’s car. I had his car keys and his phone. I got inside his car and looked through at the cabinet and found a letter. I took it and start reading

“Hey Thembu, If you are reading this, it means that I am no more or something bad happened to me. Just know that I trust you and that’s why I am leaving everything in your hands. First thing you should do is call my mom and ask her to come to George and then you can tell her the news in person because Mthatha is a bit far for you to drive. She knows the truth about my job so tell her what really happened. And after that assist her whichever way you can and then you can also run the businesses, it’s nothing hectic and you will find some documents to guide you in my safe. And then I have a house in town, obviously you don’t know about it, but I am renting it out but the main bedroom is not being rented, that’s where my safe is, there is cash there and more information on my businesses. And then there is Sihle, make sure she is taken care of bruh, provide her with allowance and make sure that she is fine please. I love that girl and she loves me too. And as for you, I wanna give you one of my businesses so that you can quickly do whatever you wanna do for your mom. Check for the paperwork regarding that in my safe. I love you bruh and please tell my mom, my sisters and Sihle that I love them and I am sorry I had to leave them….X “

I couldn’t help but cry after reading this. I read the letter again and prayed to God that Xolani gets well. I didn’t want anything to happen to him. I wanted him back here with me. So I put the letter back where I got it and drove to campus.

I got to my room and Tshililo was angry at me. Yep I had been gone for two days so madam was beside herself. I tried to talk to her but I was given a silent treatment. I went to the shower and then I wanted to rest. I decided to try and explain what happened because I could see that she was angry but the girl just didn’t want to listen to me. so she went on and on about how I stress her, how I am a bad person and how Xolani has been ruining my life and how he is a bad influence to me and that maybe I wasn’t even working and maybe I was partying with Xolani the whole time. That’s what pissed me off…all that crap about Xolani pissed me off because I was again reminded of the fact that his life was actually hanging by a thread and Tshililo was standing here bad mouthing him…so we started fighting and I ended up telling her about Xolani being in a very critical condition, i went on to tell her about how everything was her fault, I told her that I wouldn’t have been in this situation if it wasn’t for the fact that I wanted to help her…ok that was me being out of tune but hey I was pissed and people say stupid things when they are pissed. So I said a hell lot of crap to her and then I left her there. She ran to me asking me to come back so that we could talk but I told her I needed some air.

I left and got inside the car and just drove. A lot was going on with me bruh…Xolani was in a  critical condition, I had killed someone and now my girlfriend was angry with me. I was losing my damn mind and needed to unwind a little bit. After driving around for a while i went to Zanzibar Club. I got there and ordered few strong drinks for myself. A coloured girl came and sat next to me…as it turned out she was having a bad day too and ordered something strong, her name was Teressa…I told the bartender that the girl’s drinks must be on my bill. Well the girl wasn’t too impressed but didn’t complain either. I asked her about her day and she hesitated at first but at the end she told me all about it. So we drank until we were totally drunk and I knew that I was in no state to start driving so we booked a room nearby. Yep i didn’t know the girl and she didn’t know me but we booked a room together. We kissed and almost had sex but hey I couldn’t do it. Even on my worst state and as drunk as I was…I couldn’t betray Tshililo so I told the girl that all I wanted was rest and yes I fell asleep with her in the room.

I was having a very bad dream when Teressa woke me up. Yes I was dreaming about the guy I killed. Well it was part 9 when I woke up. I knew that I had to get going. I offered to drive Teressa or maybe give her money for the cab but the girl said she was cool…she didn’t want a thing from me. Well I got dressed and we both left. I went to my car while she went her own way.

I parked the car and sit in there for a while before going to the room. I was ashamed of myself. I mean I was supposed to be a good guy here, I was supposed to love her and make her feel special not act the way I did. I finally got the courage and walked to the room. I unlocked the door and walked in. she was in bed when I got there but she was asleep. I greeted her and she greeted me back

Me:” uhm I am sorry about last night baby, I truly regret what I said to you and how I stomped out of our room” she sat up on the bed…I went over and sat next to her

Me:” you are the best thing that have ever happened to me and I don’t regret having you…not at all”

Tshili:” I am also sorry…I should have been more supportive and listen to your side of the story so I am really sorry” wow now I was feeling much better, as if a weight had been lifted off my shoulders

Tshili:” I thought I lost you, I thought that maybe you were not going to come back”

Me:” that’s never gonna happen, I was just upset last night” we gave each other a hug for a long time. We then broke the hug and sat on the bed looking at each other with our legs crossed

Me:” I want us to forget everything that happened last night. I mean I lost my temper because I was under a lot of stress and I kinda expected you to support me but then again I was away for two full days and didn’t really have a valid reason so it made sense for you to be angry and demand more explanation”

Tshili:” it’s all in the past…so what happened?”

Me:” let me call Xolani’s mom first ok?”

Tshili:” what happened to him?”

Me:” just give me a minute”

I took out my phone and called Xolani’s mom. Well I explained to her about who I was and that I was her son’s friend. Well as it turns out, she has heard about me. So I informed her that something happened to her son and that she should come to George. She started panicking and asked if he was ok…I told her that he was alive…so she said that she was booking a first flight to George which meant that it was going to be tomorrow. Well after a phone call with her I felt better or let me say relieved knowing that his mother was going to be here tomorrow. I then called Jay asking him about Xolani if there was any improvement yet. He said that nothing has changed yet and he also told me that there was no need to drive to PE because they were driving Xolani back to George. Yep he was going to be in one of our business houses somewhere here in George…at least I won’t have to go to George anymore.

Zwi a Penga

Insert 17

I was still sitting on the bed with Tshililo with our legs crossed. I told her everything that’s happened…from when we left George to the shootouts in PE, to the car accident and then finally to me working up and finding out what happened to Xolani. She was shocked…uhm no that’s not even the right word…the poor girl was petrified, she was beside herself…she couldn’t help but cry as I was telling her what happened. She told me that she was scared for me, that she couldn’t believe that I changed from a sweet innocent me to jumping bullets and killing people…she told me that the whole thing really scared her. I hugged her and told her that what took place was just a once off thing and it don’t usually happen. I understood what she was feeling, I mean the whole thing still scared me too so I’d be shocked if she was just ok with it. While I was telling here everything I skipped the part about Svig being Sibu’s husband...well I didn’t want to scare her to death. I also skipped the part where i went to the tavern to kill Xolani’s killer, it was enough that i was involved in all this, i didn’t want her to think of me as a killer too.

So my mom called while I was still talking to her. She told me that they were going to be moving that evening and wanted to find out if I managed to get hold of the cash I said I will send her. I totally forgot about it so I told her that I’d go to the bank immediately and send her the money. She sounded happy about moving, I wondered how my dad was …I decided not to ask my mom just in case she suddenly decide to change her mind. She asked me something that really saddened me. She asked me again if I was not doing any illegal business…well I told her that everything i was doing was legit. I didn’t have a choice but to lie to her. I couldn’t tell her the truth.

After the call with my mom Tshili asked me about last night and I told her that I drove around a bit and then ended up at the club where I got extremely drunk and then booked a room. She asked if I was alone and I told her without even stuttering that I was alone. I was not telling her that I was with a girl. I know I didn’t sleep with that Teressa chick but it’s not like Tshililo was going to believe me.

I went to town with Tshililo to deposit some cash for my mom. After that we did a hell lot of shopping. Tshililo still had few pains from the accident but funny enough she was able to walk from store to store…women and shopping. We bought few clothes and few decorating items…I thought the things I bought where fine but madam wanted to add more. We even went to the restaurant for some food. Later that afternoon we headed back to campus. I had to go talk to Sihle and tell her what happened to Xolani. I couldn’t do it by myself because I was not going to know what to do when she starts crying, you know how ladies are mus.

Just like what I expected Sihle threw some serious action when I told her that Xolani got shot. It’s a good thing that she was crying and all hysterical because she didn’t get to ask too many questions about what really went down. Tshililo was being a friend and was comforting her and giving her endless hugs. I just sat there feeling like an evil massager for giving her the news. I also told Sihle that Xolani was being transferred to George hospital tomorrow. I didn’t want to get into the details of him not being in an actual hospital…we were going to cross that bridge when we get there. After chilling with her for a while Tshili and I said goodbye and we left.

We got to our room and Tshililo insisted on cooking. I didn’t want her to cook because I thought she was still in pain but she said she was fine. She was busy cooking when I decided to take a nap. Well I had a dream about the guy I killed while i took the nap…this was happening for the second time…yohh I woke up in a cold sweat. Tshililo was concerned but I told her that it was just a bad dream. We ate our food and then spent the rest of the afternoon together. I made sure that we watched movies until late at night. Tshililo fell asleep and I continued watching movies by myself, I was scared to sleep. But hey I fell asleep anyway and I woke up to Tshililo shouting my name. Yep I was having another bad dream…jeez was this ever gonna end? Is this how it was for everyone? Did they all have bad dreams after their first kill? I was really wondering. I don’t know but the dream I had scared me to death…I was so scared that I knew for a fact that i was not going to be able to keep everything to myself. I had to share it with someone else so I told her how I killed a guy who killed Xolani.

Ok i didn’t expect Tshililo to pat me on the back and said well done but I definitely didn’t expect her to look at me the way she did. Yohh she looked at me for a long time. She looked like she was scared and then also like she hated me. She slowly got out of bed and stood in the middle of the room

Me:” Tshililo say something” my poor Tshili didn’t say anything and I saw a tear slowly escaping her eye and I could see the look of pain coupled with disappointment in her eyes.

Me:”bbe please I am still the same person”

Tshili:”no you are not” she said as tears came out of her eyes. I got out of bed and walked to her but she quickly unlocked the door, opened and ran out. She was still in her sleeping panty and a vest but I guess at that moment she didn’t care about that. I was in my boxers only. I ran after her and caught her by the parking lot…the whole place was quiet because it was already after mid night.

Me:”Tshililo please hear me out

Tshili:” please tell me that what you said was just a joke please” she was crying…I just looked at her and said nothing and I think my silence gave her an answer

Tshili:” I am going to Sihle right now, I just…I just can’t deal with this” she tried to walk away but I quickly grabbed her hand and pulled her to me and gave her a tight hug. She was angry and terrified I know but I needed her hug, I needed her support and I wanted her close to me. She tried to push me away or to get away from me as she cried even harder but I held her so tight and cried in her arms…she gave up fighting and wrapped her hands around me. Having her hands around me was enough to make me feel better. After some time I broke the hug and we walked back to the room with our hands on each other. We got inside and locked the door and I hugged her again. I could see that she was hurt but I wanted her to know that I was still the same person…I wanted her to know that I still loved her and that nothing had changed.

We broke the hug and I looked in her eyes and I could see the pain…we all had tears on our eyes. I bent down for a kiss. I was expecting anything when I did this…either being kissed back or a hot slap or being scolded…the thing is I wanted Tshililo more than ever at this moment, I wanted her love, her kisses, actually I wanted her everything. She kissed me back and I wrapped my hands around her. I carried her to the bed where we made love. When we were done I laid on my back looking at the ceiling and she rested her head on my chest with my one hand around her neck

Tshili:” Thembuluwo I am scared”

Me:”I know” she removed her head from my chest and looked away

Me:” babe let me explain”

Tshili:”no I already know enough”

Me:”please bbe don’t push me away”

Tshili:”I won’t”

Me:”but do you still love me?”

Tshili:”that’s the thing Thembuluwo, I am in love with not just a drug dealer, but a killer too” she looked up at me with tears in her face

Tshili:” let me sleep please”

Me:” ok I love you”

Tshili:” I love you too”

The following morning I woke up early and started cleaning and also took our dirty clothes to the laundry...yep I was tryna smoothen things up with Tshililo. She woke up and found that the breakfast was ready. She ate and after eating she said we needed to talk. Well I know what she wanted to talk about and I was not sure if I wanted to listen. So she asked me to quit my job…I thought she was joking but she looked dead serious. I told her the truth; there was no getting out of it, at least not now. I knew stuff about those people and they were not going to just let me go. Besides that, I needed the money to keep Tshililo at school and also to take care of my family. She got upset and I figured that she needed some time to think so she left and said that she was going to spend some time with Sihle.

After Tshililo had left I called Xolani’s mom and found out what time she’ll come so that I could go pick her up. She was going to be at the airport by 12:30. After that I called my mom. Well she sounded happy. They had moved and she said that my dad was extra pissed about moving…he tried to put up a fight put she promised him that she’ll go to the police so he let them be. At last my mother was free. This was my biggest achievement….Having my mom and siblings out of that hell hole.

So after the call i went to Sihle’s room. I informed her that Xolani’s mom was coming and that i was booking a hotel for her. She was more concerned about seeing Xolani and I told her that I will let her know when we go see him. I then asked for Tshililo to talk to me in private. We walked outside and I asked her to tag along with me as I had few things to do but she said that she’d rather be with her friend. Well I could see that she was still not happy so I left on my own.

My first stop was at Xolani’s town house. I drove there using the address that was provided for me on the same paper he wrote the letter on. There was also password combination for his safe plus bank cards passwords. I drove to the house and there were few people there. I asked for Xolani’s main bedroom and they showed me. I got to the bedroom and looked around. It looked good shame…perfect. I went straight to the safe and used the combination I was given to open. Well there were few papers in there plus stakes and stakes of cash. I went through the papers and was shocked when I found one with my name highlighted. I took it and read through…you will never guess this. Xolani had a signed contract which said that he was giving me a construction company…damn I was shocked. The only thing missing on the contract was my signature. The company’s name was TM Construction…T was for Thembuluwo and M was for Mudau. I was still in shock and had no idea how this was going to play out so I checked for his lawyer’s contacts and found them. I called the lawyer and scheduled a meeting. I felt that the lawyer could explain better as to what was going on because I was not clear.

There were all sorts of documentation there about his business and how to run them. Yohh I was overwhelmed so I put everything back to the safe and went to book a hotel for Xolani’s mom…I was not sure how long she was gonna stay so I made it few days. Round at about 12 I went to the airport to wait for her. Guess who I bumped into while at the airport? Teressa…the girl from the club? The one I spent the night with but didn’t shag? Yep that’s the one. Well she looked happy to see me and I wasn’t sad to see her either. So we went to a restaurant to have some drinks as I wait. We chilled there until I received a call from X’s mom saying that she was here. I said goodbye and left.

So the woman didn’t look old at all…she still looked fine and she dressed smart as well. She was not happy at all. She kept asking me about him, if he was fine and if I worked with him and what really happened. Well I was having difficulty answering most of her questions but I told her that he was not too good and that Xolani was a good friend of mine and we were working together. I guess when Xolani told her we were friends he left that little detail out. We went to the hotel I booked for her and that’s when I told her everything that’s happened…she cried as I told her about how he was. I was just happy that I didn’t have to lie to her at least.

After telling her everything I told her that I will come fetch her when Xolani has been brought back to George so that she can go see him. I left the hotel and called Jay. He said Xolani was back in George and he will send me the address of the house. I went to campus and picked up Sihle Tshili, Ncedo and Thembani. Ncedo and Thembani were a little bit inquisitive about what happened to him. I told them he was shot in some club and that he wasn’t in hospital and was being kept in the club owner’s house for safety. I told them that the club owner was not sure if what happened to him was personal, just to pay Xolani back for what happened to him…he offered to give him the best medical care in his house with a private Doctor. They were shocked but what’s important is that they believed me.

So we got there and were ushered straight to the room where Xolani was. The doctor was with him. Everyone was panicking and kept on asking the Doctor questions. The Doctor said that Xolani had to go some neurosurgery to get rid of blood clot on his brains…ahhh well i think he said something along those lines, I mean i was too stressed to even care. Anyway the surgery was taking place tomorrow. So Xolani still couldn’t move or do anything. We all just sat there and talked to him even though we were not sure if he was hearing us. It was before we left when Sticks told me about the meeting that was taking place that evening. After dropping everyone off at the campus i went to pick up Xolani’s mom. I wanted her to have some private moment with her son without us around. After she had spent some time with Xolani I got her a cab which took her back to the hotel.

I then went to the club for the meeting. I couldn’t even concentrate on the damn meeting. My mind was tired, my body was tired, and my everything was damn tired. Jay said something about the victory we earned and then about Xolani being in a bad condition and then we got paid. I was not even excited anymore. It felt like the money meant nothing. With everything that was going on I’d choose being poor any day as opposed to all this. After the meeting I drove back to campus. I was regretting this life, I hated it and I wished I could do something to get out of it.

Zwi a Penga

Insert 18

I had another bad dream that evening and I found myself crying in Tshililo’s arms, she comforted me and told me that everything was going to be fine. After that episode of me waking up and crying…we didn’t sleep, we stayed up instead and just talked. We fell asleep in the early hours of the morning. I woke up the following day at around 12…Tshililo had already cooked me something to eat. I asked her why she didn’t wake me and she said that she wanted me to rest since i was having difficulty sleeping. We went to see Sihle that afternoon and after that we went to see Xolani. His mom was allowed to go see him anytime she wanted. Some of the guys we worked with were in the house when we got there. Tshililo was surprised when they called me V Boy and I explained to her what it meant. Xolani’s mom came when we were there. She already knew Sihle because Sihle was with them during school holidays.

The following day i went to meet up with Xolani’s lawyer. Well the lawyer gave me the copy of the same contract I found in the safe. Xolani was really giving me a company and on top of that he told his lawyer that should anything happen to him or he gets sick or something I should be given control over his business until he was well to start running them himself. What the hell? What did I know about businesses? The lawyer gave me a piece of paper with passwords to Xolani’s laptop and his emails…he told me that I will get the hang of things as I go through emails. As it turns out, Xolani was not micro managing his businesses, he had managers who sent him weekly reports for him to check the progress of the companies, so all I had to do was read reports and make few changes. I didn’t know anything about a business so there wasn’t going to be any change to be made by me.

After my meeting with his lawyer I went to his room where i asked Sihle to give me Xolani’s laptop. I got to my room and tried to look at the emails…damn this was rocket science, i was going to suck at this and I feared the worst, what if I fail him? I shook my head and decided to put away the laptop. Tshililo was studying for some test. Well i was doing way too many things and school was just at the bottom of the list. So i tried to study but I couldn’t so I said goodbye to Tshililo and went to check on Xolani. I received some good news from the Doctor, he said that Xolani was recovering quickly than he thought…he was showing some activities on the brain so he was possibly going to wake up soon. I spent some time with him talking and also updating him on what I got up to…I felt that he deserved to know what was going on and hopefully he was hearing me. After that I went to Sihle and told her about Xolani’s recovery. After meeting Sihle I went to my room and found Tshililo studying…I joined her and tried to study too.

The following morning I went to the class and wrote my test…well it wasn’t that bad so I was possibly going to pass or so I hoped. After the test I attended the rest of my classes and then chilled with Tshililo the rest of the afternoon. I called my mom while chilling with her and they also talked together…I was happy with my mom knowing about her. After that I also called Xolani’s mom. I did another delivery to PE and it was the same as the last one. Nothing major happened. I came back to campus and found Tshililo still up. It was in the early hours of the morning when I got back. She had been crying and when I asked why, she told me that she was scared for me…she said that after what happened to Xolani she couldn’t help but felt really scared that something was going to happen to me. I told her that she needed to get used to me doing these deliveries and she had to try and not stress because she can’t be stressing every time I do a delivery.

Wednesday morning I prepared myself for classes along with Tshililo. After all my classes I went to town and made a deposit for a house. Yep I had done some research with Tshililo on contracts to build a house and we found few companies that were good at that so they required a certain amount for deposit before they could start with anything. So I did the deposit for that…I wanted to build a descent house for my mom. The money I had on me was not enough, so I withdrew some money from Xolani…hopefully he was not going to mind…I was going to pay him back as soon as I had enough cash. After depositing money I came back to my room and went through Xolani’s emails…I replied to few of them…I was starting to understand his businesses and the monthly plus weekly reports he had saved were enough to give me the info I needed in order to understand what direction the companies were taking.

I informed Tshililo that Xolani gave me a company. She was shocked. I mean she knew that Xolani was my friend but she said that she didn’t think that he trusted me this much. Yeah the trust he had on me shocked me too. I mean imagine leaving someone in complete control of your assets? But I guess if I started misusing his money or his companies then the lawyer may step in. Ow the password from Xolani’s Email was NokuthulaNoks and then the safe combination was Noks01….who the hell was Nokuthula? Maybe his mom’s name?

So that evening we went to see Xolani again. It was me, Thembani, Tshili and Sihle. Guess who we found there? Some chick named Nokuthula, yep she introduced herself to us as Xolani’s girlfriend and was wondering who we were…like the girl had a nerve neh? So obviously we were all in shock and Sihle even cried but hey we all comforted her and told her that the girl was just bluffing. Nokuthula left us in the room. The whole visit was awkward after that. After spending some time with Xolani and giving Sihle some privacy with him we went out to eat. As if the drama with Xolani wasn’t enough, Teressa happen to see me while i was ordering some food with Tshili and our friends. She came over and greeted us. I had no choice but to introduce Tshililo to Teressa…Teressa looked fine but Tshili on the other side? She was a bit put off by the whole thing and wanted to know how I met Teressa…like really? I just said that Teressa was just a friend.

The following day I went to check on Xolani’s mom after my classes. Well I found Nokuthula there and as it turns out…Noks was Xolani’s childhood girlfriend but they were now ex’s and Xolani’s mom was very fond of her. We talked about Xolani and his progress a bit and then I left. A thought about Teressa crossed my mind and I decided to go on a man hunt for the girl. I went to the airport to look her up. I was not sure if she was working there but last time I saw her at the airport she looked like she was at work. I was just about to give up when I saw her wearing a waitress uniform from one of the restaurants there. I looked at her for a very long time with a smile on my face. I snapped out of it…what if I like her? I loved Tshililo and whatever little feelings I had over Teressa needed to be murdered.

With everything that has been going and the stress I had been carrying I figured that Tshili and I needed some time out. So I decided to take her to Cape Town for a weekend. I told Jay about it and he was fine. I also informed our friends that we were going away for a weekend. I told Xolani’s mom that I will be away for the weekend too; I didn’t tell her where I was going though. I knew that with Xolani not really well we were not supposed to go anywhere but damn I was too tired, I was always tired of running up and down so I needed a break from everything, I needed to have some alone time with my girl.

Friday morning we went to see Xolani just before we left and after few minutes with him we left for Cape Town. We were super excited bruh…it was our first time in the city of Cape Town. So we drove to Cape Town and we booked at Cape Grace Hotel. We did a lot of sightseeing…we drove around the city. The whole weekend was beautiful…we went to the mall and shopped, we went to different beaches, and we went out to sea on a boat, we ate in different fancy restaurants. Honestly speaking we had a lot of fun. The whole weekend was full of laughter and love. It was Saturday night when I received an sms from a phone number that id didn’t know and it said

“I know about you and Svig’s wife #smileyFace”

Just like that my weekend was ruined. This was the end of me…I was dead. Tshililo saw that something was up and asked what’s wrong but I told her that it was nothing to worry about. I mean she knew nothing about Sibu being my Boss’s wife so I had to keep it away from her.

Sunday afternoon we drove back to George. It was after we got to our room when I received this sms on my phone

“I know you are probably very stressed, trying to figure out who I am, anyway quit trying because you will know me in due time, for now you can just relax and maybe start thinking about how you’re gonna pay me to keep this secret to myself, I have kept it for way too long and I reckon it’s about time I start talking or benefiting from it”

I couldn’t hide the panic on my face so Tshililo could see that something was definitely not right so she asked me to trust her with anything. Well with the way that things were, she was going to find out sooner or later so I told her everything about how I found out about Sibu being my boss’s wife and how dangerous my boss was. As scared as Tshililo was, she asked me to come clean to Svig about it and tell him that I didn’t know anything about Sibu being married at the time…well it was easy for her to say because she had never seen him in action but I had and he was not someone you can just confess to….that guy could kill me without a second thought. Tshili and I went to check on Xolani that evening

Monday morning the exam time table was out plus qualifying marks. Tshili and I went to check ourselves and as expected Tshililo qualified everything and as for me….well I didn’t qualify for one of my second year module. Well I was not surprised at all. I hadn’t been attending my classes that well so it was expected for me not to qualify some modules. Tshililo was feeling bad for me but I told her that we reap what we saw and this was it for me.

After that we received a call from Sihle saying that Xolani was up. We ran to the house to see him. We got there and found Sihle with him. Nokuthula also walked in. You should have seen the shock on Xolani’s eyes when he saw her. That Noks chick kept on going on and on about how much she loved him and how scared she was…she was doing this crazy act in front of Sihle. Sihle looked at Xolani who looked confused and ended up telling all the girls to leave the room. I was left standing there alone. Well he started crying and that shocked me to the core...I assumed that maybe his emotions were all over the place since he just woke up from a coma because the X i knew was not a cry baby. He started telling me about how much he loved Nokuthula even after everything she had done to him and how he never expected to see her…they were not together but he loved her still. But then I asked him about Sihle….i mean obviously I was team Sihle so i wasn’t about to let my boy go back to some ex who broke his heart and leave the lovely Sihle, he said she was the one he wanted to be with and he was going to make it up to her. I asked him if he needed feedback on the businesses but he said he needed some rest and that I should just continue checking them out.

Tuesday morning we didn’t have any classes, in fact there were no classes anymore because people were getting ready for exams. So Tshili and i went to the library at about 10 in the morning. I was in the library when my phone beeped and I checked it. There was an sms in there

“I saw you walking to the library, come to the library entrance now” I knew who this was, this was the guy blackmailing me about Svig. I told Tshililo that I will be back and I walked out to the entrance. I looked around and I saw a face that looked familiar but I couldn’t make out where I had seen it

Guy:”V Boy” I was surprised to hear him call me that

Me:”uhm hi” he took my hand and pulled me out of the crowd

Guy:”so, I am the guy who has been sending you those messages and you might be wondering why”

Me:”yeah why?” he chuckled

Guy:”V Boy V Boy, you need to slow down, you know, the thing about this whole situation is that I have the upper hand on this, you do as I say because I can put your life on the line bruh”

Me:”owk what do you want from me? I mean I didn’t know she was married bro, you have to believe me”

Guy:”slow down V Boy, the thing about Svig is that, he won’t care whether you knew she was married or not, the thing is you shagged his wife Boy”

Me:”owk what do you want me to do?”

Guy:”mhm good question”

Me:” I can give you any amount of money you want”

Guy: “don’t worry about the money boy, I have enough of that, I also work for Svig, and oww I forgot to tell you, remember the time we beat you up and you ended up in hospital?”

Me: “we?...so you were also there?”

Guy:”yeah and I still remember your face so clearly, and when I saw you in PE during that chaos, I couldn’t believe it and when I came here to see my sister, I saw you driving around”

Me:”uhm bro…“ I was scared, this guy could get me killed, my life was hanging by a thread here

Guy: “back to the question you asked me….what do I want?” he paused and looked at me

Guy: “your girlfriend”

Me: “what about my girlfriend?”

Guy: “I want her” owk I looked at  the Nigga for a long time, waiting for him to say that he was kidding or something along those lines, but he didn’t say anything, instead he looked straight into my face waiting for my reply

Me: “you are not serious right?”

Guy: “I am dead serious bro, that girl is so fine and so sexy, I just wanna feel her you know”  I grabbed him by his neck and pushed him to the wall…I was soo angry. I realised what I was doing and let him go. He fixed himself and looked at me

Guy: “think about what’s at stake, your life or your pretty girlfriend…I am giving you until Sunday to think it through” and he walked off.

I stood there wishing that what just happened could just turn into a bad dream. I wasn’t about to do what he asked me, I had to come up with a different plan…he wasn’t about to have my girlfriend…hell no. I tried to think of a plan but nothing came. The biggest problem was that this was not something that Jay or Sticks can fix…this was something that I had to fix by myself. After my meeting with that guy I couldn’t study anymore so I sent Tshililo a message telling her that something came up and I had to attend to it

Zwi a Penga

Insert 19

I went to see Xolani after that. I needed someone to talk to. I told him what happened and about my meeting with the guy and his advice was the same as Tshililo’s. He suggested that I come clean to Svig because even if I let the guy sleep with Tshililo he was still going to demand more from me so my best bet was coming clean and hope for the best. Even Xolani couldn’t tell if Svig could let me live but hey there was no other way. I asked him about Noks and as it turns out…she was his first girlfriend since grade 10 and yeah she left him for a better guy and he never stopped loving her. So their story was just another ‘ex lover’ story and I advised him to let her go because Sihle was good for him…the girl had never done him wrong.

I called my mom on my way from Xolani to find out about how things were at home. She said that everything was ok. I told her that there was a company coming in to start building a house real soon. I had already chosen a house plan and had made a deposit so the company was going to start with the job and then I could make a full payment. You should have heard my mom celebrating…she was so happy.

The following Day Xolani came back to campus and damn we threw a party for him. It was not a public thing but just a party between me, Tshililo, Xolani, Sihle, Ncedo and Thembani and just like what they did to me, Xolani only drank juice.

So the following day Xolani went to his faculty to fix his academic things so that he could be able to write exams. He had a Doctor’s note so he was definitely going to write. After that he came and thanked me for taking care of his mom while she was here and for taking care of his businesses which he asked me to still do until he was fully recovered. He also told me that he talked to Noks and put her on her place. He had apologised to Sihle and they were now cool

So our team was throwing a party for Xolani…more like a get together for our team…Yep it was going to be the whole team and everyone was allowed to bring their family or their girlfriends…so I was obviously taking Tshililo. I left with Xolani, Sihle and Tshililo. We drove in Xolani’s car. We passed by the mall where we bought some snacks for the kids. We knew that some people were bringing their kids so we wanted to at least bring something. We didn’t bother buy alcohol because there was obviously going to be enough of that. We got there and met everyone. Yeah these guys were not just criminals, they had real families hey…the guys were all interested in knowing how it was like for Xolani being unconscious, we even joked and laughed about it. Mind you, Sihle knew nothing about what Xolani did for a living so all we told her was that Xolani was invited by the club owner wanting to celebrate him being well after being shot. So we met everyone and greeted them all. After a while Xolani and I were chatting with the boys while our women were with the ladies and the kids…they were getting along very well with everyone else. Xolani eyed me signalling for me to go talk to Svig…damn I was chickening out but I knew that this needed to be done.

Me:”uhm boss can I please have a word with you in private please” I whispered only for him to hear. The party was being held at the same house that Xolani was being kept at. There were expensive booze and all sorts of food

Svig:”who are you again?”

Me:”V Boy, I work with Jay here”

Svig:”oww I remember you, you were unconscious for like a day or so during that shit in PE right?”

Me: “yes”

Svig:”owk lets go this way” he got up and then we went to one of the rooms. He sat on the chair and I sat on the bed

Svig:”this is me” he said looking straight at me

Me:”i…uhm i…I have a con…fession to make”

Svig:”I am listening”

Me: “I am so sorry for what I am about to say boss, I didn’t know at the time and I am deeply sorry” I was scared to the last degree

Svig:”what the hell did you do?”

Me:”uhm…i…i…before i…joined Jay’s team, before I even know about you, I did something so terrible”

Svig:”I am gonna lose my patience boy, just tell me what you did”

Me: “I am the boy who was dating your wife” there was an awkward silent, you know that moment in a movie when someone say something they are not supposed to say and everyone went dead silent? Yeah it was like that. I looked on the floor waiting for him to say something

Me: “I didn’t know she was married boss, and I am so sorry” he grinded his teeth and looked at me

Svig:”so you slept with my F***n wife?”

Me: “I didn’t know she was your wife I promise, and when I found out, I was terrified and I honestly regretted everything” he gave me a deadly look

Svig:”is there anyone else who knows about this?”

Me: “there is a guy who is blackmailing me”

Svig:”so someone knows and then they decide to blackmail you with this?”

Me:”yeah”

Svig:” How did the other person knew?”

Me :”he is one of the guys you hired to beat me up”

Svig:”is he here?”

Me:”yeah”

Svig:”go out there and call him” he looked pretty angry, I could see that he was trying his best to control his anger but he was super angry. I walked out to the others and called the guy who had been blackmailing and brought him back to Svig

Svig:”so it’s you, you bloody moron” he said that and grabbed him by his neck

Guy: “what did I do?”

Svig:”you are about to find out” he roared…he threw the guy on the floor

Svig:”so you found out that the guy who was cheating with my damn wife is working for me and you decided to take an advantage of the situation huh?”

Guy:”uhm that’s not wh-?”

Svig:”shut the fuck up, you are supposed to be loyal to me boy, you answer to me, you don’t double cross Ta Svig” he opened the door

Svig:”follow me, both of you” gosh it was really about to go down. We stumbled behind him and followed. I was so scared, I even prayed all the way to the basement that he took us to. He left us in there and then walked away…we just stood in the dark not saying anything. He came back after few minutes with Sticks and Gerrit. He switched on the light and there were a hell lot of tools in there

Svig:”no one messes with me and gets away with it”

Me:” boss I didn’t know I am sorry please” I pleaded, my life was depending on this

Svig:”shut…the…damn…up” owk he looked scary, the sound of his voice screamed ‘I am so angry I can eat you alive’ I decided to keep quiet.

Sticks: “what’s happening here boss?”

Sticks: “kill both of them, and that’s an order, I don’t want you to ask me any questions. I don’t give a F**k how you go about it but I want them dead” and he walked up the stairs and left us there

Gerrit:”I don’t know what you did to the big boss V Boy but we have to do what we have been ordered to do”

Me: “please guys I am begging you”

Sticks: “it breaks my heart to know that I will be the one to end your life but I can’t argue with the boss, sorry V”

Guy: “guys please”

Gerrit:”stop begging”

Sticks stood in the middle of the room with his hands on his hips as if he was thinking. I was looking at him as my body started shaking and sweating...I was already wet out of sweat…I was even struggling to breathe by now. I thought of Tshililo, damn this was going to kill her…I also thought of my mom…at least Xolani was going to take care of her, but how was my mom going to cope with losing her first born son huh? I closed my eyes and I started praying right away. I opened my eyes and found Sticks holding a very big knife. I closed my eyes instantly because I was afraid to look. I opened one eye and I saw them moving closer to the other guy. Gerrit stood behind the guy holding his head and just like that Sticks cut his head off. yohhh I felt chills all over my body…this was seriously spine-chilling, I don’t think I had ever been so scared in my entire life. I whispered another prayer as Sticks and Gerrit walks up to me. Gerrit held my head while standing behind me just like he did with the other guy. Sticks stood in front of me with the knife…I saw a tear escaping his eye

Sticks: “I am sorry I have to kill you, but just know that you meant something to us and to our team. Goodbye Venda Boy” I closed my eyes as I wait for my death.

Zwi a Penga

Insert 20

I opened my eyes again and found Sticks bending towards me with the knife so that he could cut my head. I closed them again

“Stop” someone said.  I was too scared and too focused on waiting for my own death that I couldn’t even recognise the voice of the person who said that word. I was even scared of opening my eyes because I was not sure what was going to happen next

Sticks: “are you sure?”

“yes” I slowly opened my eyes slowly and spotted Svig standing at the stairs with his hands on his pockets…I was still shaking

Sticks: “give me and this boy some privacy” Sticks and Gerrit walked out…I was scared to look at him…I didn’t want to look at him

Svig:”on second thought…maybe you don’t deserve to die” thank God, I have never felt so relieved in my life. I started to relax and I then looked at him

Me:”wh…what…did you say?”

Svig:”yeah, I mean at least you came forward and confess and for that I will give you a second chance”

Me: “thank you so much boss, thank you” I had tears in my eyes

Svig:”I don’t usually give second chances, so consider yourself lucky boy”

Me: “thank you so much boss, thank you” I wanted to cry

Svig:”but you are going to be my eyes and ears at the campus, if ever you see something suspicious about my wife, you will have to contact me directly, understand?”

Me: “yes boss”

Svig:”and if I ever hear about you and her then you are dead....one more thing, the fact that you used to…dammit…“ he hit the pole that was in the middle of the room with his fist, yohh I started shaking again

Svig:”it must never leave this room, do you hear me? I can’t have people knowing about this boy, if ever this debacle becomes the talk of the town then I am gonna have you killed because what you did was pure disrespect, I don’t even understand why you are still alive so don’t ever cross me because I will slaughter you myself”

Me: “I won’t disappoint I promise”

Svig:”is there anyone else on the team who knows about this?” I thought of telling him about X knowing but I didn’t want to risk his life but then again…after getting a second chance I really couldn’t afford to lie

Me:”X knows, but he also found out that time when we were in PE and he just woke up yesterday from the coma and he is the one who encouraged me to confess”

Svig:”I will leave that in your hands, make sure that X doesn’t breathe a word about this to anyone”

Me: “I will make sure”

Svig:”that’s about it then”

Me: “thank you so much Ta Svig, for giving me a second chance”

Svig:”you are still a young boy who still see the reason to confess, it shows me that you are not really a monster so I took a chance and believed what you told me when you said you didn’t know anything at the time”

Me:” thank you”

Svig:”sure” he walked up the steps

Svig:”make sure that you close the door when you leave”

Me:”ok”  I sat there and took a big sigh of relief trying to take everything in. I had never been so scared in my entire life…I couldn’t stay at the party any more. I was too shaken and too scared. Again I was regretting the decision i took to join this life. Everything was getting too much with each passing day. So I left the party with Tshili, Xolani and Sihle and we drove back to campus.

Tshililo kept asking what was wrong but all I told her was that I told Svig the truth and we should just be glad that I am still breathing. I managed to make a transfer for the money for the house as the contractor was busy working and they were doing it fast. Xolani came to check me out and I told him everything that took place with Svig. He was just glad that I was off the hook.

Me:"yeah bro, and uhm X I used a huge amount of money to pay off the contractor working at home to finish the house" I said to him as soon as we finished the Svig topic

X:"what is huge? I am sure you didn't empty my bank account so it’s chilled"

Me: “I will pay you back monthly"

X:"are we really gonna go that route? Thembu you are my friend, or let me say you are a brother to me and my money is your money and vice versa so don't stress about my money, I think what we should be worrying about is furnishers for your house" I looked at him and smiled

Me:"Tshili will deal with that"

X:"perfect, the money is there so use it, you can even buy some antique furnisher if you want, I won’t complain"

Me: “why are you doing this for me?" I didn’t understand why he was being so good to me

X:"uhm let’s just say one day you will understand"

Me: “thanks for everything"

X:"you proved to me when I was on that bed that I didn't make a mistake trusting you, you are my true friend"

Me: “now you are making me feel emotional"

X:"please man, don't be a baby" we laughed

Me: “so I was thinking"

X:"what?"

Me: “come home with me, I want you to meet my family"

X:"what?"

Me:"yeah, you are like a twin brother I never had....I wanted to say a big brother but hey I don't wanna be younger than you" X laughed

X:"owk I will come on one condition"

Me: “what’s the condition?"

X:"next school holidays we are going to Mthatha"

Me: “consider it done" we all laughed

X:”we will have to sit and discuss how we will run the business Thembu, we can divide the work, you can do one thing and I can do another”

Me: “thanks bro”

Three weeks later. We were done with exams and the schools were closing. I drove back to Venda with Xolani and Tshililo with my car…we left Xolani’s car parked at the campus. Xolani was excited about going home with me. He was excited about being in Gauteng too when we were passing through because it was his first time there. The whole drive to Venda was fun. We were playing music and dancing the whole time.

We drove Tshililo to her place and then said goodbye to her and drove home. We got to Thohoyandou and bought some snacks and some takeaways….i was sure that my family was going to be excited. I think Xolani was more excited than me. So we drove home. I drove to the same house that I bought for my mom. Last time I was there, there was a 2 roomed house. But hey I almost chocked on my breath when I got to the location. Yeah I chose the house plan and all but dammit the house was lit. The contractor I hired didn’t disappoint.

X:” woooow is this your home?” I couldn’t answer him because I was still shocked myself. We got out of the car and just looked at the house. I couldn’t help but smile and feel proud. The house had five bedrooms plus lounge, kitchen and a study room and a double garage. The colour was grey plus cream white…it looked beautiful…the driveway to the gate was paved.

So Xolani and I walked in and he met my mom, sister and brother. Everyone was excited to meet my best friend. I think my mom was the happiest…she kept on thanking him for everything he had done for me. Xolani kept on smiling. Everyone was happy when I told them the car was mine…my mom was excited that at least now she had met the friend I was telling her about. That evening Xolani and I went to see my friends. Yep I spent some time with Khathu and some of the boys…damn bruh Xolani was not having any problem fitting in, it was as If he had known everyone for a life time….we were definitely going to have the best June holidays ever. I met up with Sharon while I was out with the boys and I just wanted to apologise to her for the way I treated her last time and I asked her for a friendship. Well she was not too happy and she actually gave me a piece of her mind but I was just happy that in the end we reached an agreement…we agreed to be friends.

The following morning was a Sunday and my mom woke me and Xolani up so that we can prepare ourselves for church. Xolani was shocked but my mom was not taking no for an answer, it was either church or nothing. So we went to church together as a family. Xolani was checking out the girls throughout the service…believe me it was not even funny. It felt good being home hey, for few seconds there I felt at peace…I didn’t have to worry about the guns or the deliveries…it was just me and my family. Jay agreed to give us some time off during school holidays. After church we went out as a family and had lunch at Nandos…yep we are black bruh so eating meat is all we could think of.

I was talking to Tshililo almost every hour ever since I came back. Ow one more disgusting thing that happened. it turns out that my sister Rendani had some silly crush on Xolani and she tried to come on to him wearing a matching panty and a bra…yohh I have never been so angry at her. Xolani sent me a text as soon as she stepped into his room and I got the shock of my life when I found Rendani in Xolani’s room in her undies. Well Xolani and I both made it clear to her that she better start seeing Xolani as nothing but her brother

Ow can you believe that my mom was making us wake up every morning and start cleaning? Yeah she was making us clean the house and the yard bruh…anyway that’s what happens when you are home. Xolani and I used to sulk all the time but my mom just didn’t care.

Monday morning we planned on going to town to buy more furnishers for the new house. I went to town with my mom and Xolani and we met Tshililo in town. Yeah my mom loved her shame and that made me happy. We bought everything that was needed in the house and then later on we had lunch together. I felt complete man…I was with my mom, the love of my life and my best friend…what could be more important than this huh?

After shopping and after dropping Xolani and my mom at home…I drove Tshililo back to her place. The furnisher was possibly going to be delivered the following day. I parked the car few houses from her house and we sat there with me smiling at her. My smile faded when she blurted out these famous words

Tshili:” I am pregnant Thembuluwo” she looked really scared

For few seconds I was lost for words, uhm maybe for a few minutes because I just silently looked at her. I don’t know what I expected but maybe I wanted her to tell me that she was kidding or something of that sort but hey she said nothing. There was a time during my relationship with Tshililo that I wished we could have a baby but hey I guess that’s because the idea of it was nothing but just that….an idea.

Tshili:'Thembuluwo" oww i came back to reality

Me:"mhm?" it was as if I had seen a ghost, i was terrified of the responsibility to be a father, it’s too much

Tshili:'please say something" what can i say? I got out of the car; it was a bit dark outside. I went to her side and held out my hand for her. She took my hand and got out.

Me: “come here" the fact that the pregnancy news scared me only meant that Tshililo was even more scared

Tshili:"you still love me?" what? How can she ask me that? I broke the hug and put both my hands on her shoulders and looked down on her

Me: “babe how can you ask me such a question? I love you and at this moment i love you even more"

Tshili:"really? You looked like you were scared or deep in thought so I thoug-“

Me:” if I say that I am not scared then I will be lying to you but hey we will figure this out together…you and me”

Tshili:" I am so scared Thembu, i never planned on having a child now and my mon...." she trailed off, she ran out of things to say so I hugged her again

Me: “babe I will be with you every step of the way owk? I will support you and if you want me to be there when you decide to tell your mom then i am happy to do so"

Tshili:"eish Thembuluwo"

Me:" maybe you should start calling me Vho-Thembuluwo” she laughed

Tshili:" I can’t believe that you are joking about this"

Me:" I love you and we will raise our kid together. I now you are probably thinking that I will leave you but I will never do that" she looked at me and smiled. Owk honestly speaking I was scared but I didn’t want to show Tshililo that I was scared because I didn’t want to stress her out

Tshili:"I think I better get going hey"

Me: “I love you and my baby ok?"

Tshili:" we love you too"

Me: “can I touch?" I touched her tummy which was still flat. I couldn’t believe that there was a living little person in there. I went down on my knees

“My baby” I said that looking at her tummy. I kissed the tummy and got up

Me:” I will figure out how we are going to tell our parents…in the meantime don’t stress about anything…I love you and even if we decide to have five kids I will still love you” she laughed

Tshili:” I don’t think I will have so many kids…sorry”

Me:” as the head of the house, I get to decide” she smiled

Even though I didn’t want to say goodbye…we finally said out goodbyes and I left

The following day after finishing all the house chores Xolani and I chilled in my room.so I told Xolani about Tshililo being pregnant and he was shocked, but he congratulated me. He started talking about the future and that I needed to start planning ahead because there was a baby on the way. He even suggested giving me his town house. I didn’t think that was a good idea because Xolani obviously loved his house and it was his first house so I decided that Tshililo and I will look into getting our own but we gonna have to rent a flat for a while until we were fine. After that we started discussing his business and then he went on and on about how we are going to run everything together. For a second there I wished I had studied Business Management and not Nature Conservation. Xolani promised to tell his lawyer about our arrangement as much as running his businesses was confused. I knew that Xolani liked me and I was grateful for all the things that he was doing for me but I needed to know, I wanted to know why he was being so generous towards me.

Me: “but why Xolani?"

X:"why what?"

Me: “why did you do all this for me, i mean you had Thembani and Ncedo as your friends long before you met me"

X:"you really wanna know neh?"

Me:"yeah"

X:"uhm....i had a twin brother, we looked so much alike" he walked to his bag and took out a photo and handed it over to me… and i saw them, two identical boys, they looked like they were about 6 or 7 years old, I couldn’t even tell which one was Xolani

X:"he...." his voice trailed off, like he was thinking about a painful memory "he died when we were about 10, he...well we got involved in a car accident and he died" he kept quiet and breathed. Yohh I was seriously shocked, just when I thought everything was clear, i mean Xolani had a twin brother woow

X:"and when i met you and we became roommates, Thembu you reminded me of him, it’s been about 10 years now but i still miss him and with you around, i feel like he is with me, you have taken his place in my heart, you are like Xolile to me" he had tears in his eyes

Me: “is that his name?" i murmured and he nodded

Me:"i am speechless X, i don’t know what to say....uhm wow i am soo sorry about your brother"

X:"its fine"

Me: “and i am sorry i reminded you of him"

X:"you didn’t remind me of him, i never forgot him, what you did is that you helped fill the void of having a brother because you became my brother and i am sure that Xolile is happy to see us and to see me happy" Owk i was totally speechless, if we were girls we were gonna hug and cry on each other’s arms but we are damn guys so hugging and crying on each other’s arms wasn’t our thing

Me:"i am not Xolile and i won’t try to be him but i will be your brother Xolani, you've been a brother to me too and i am sure that Xolile is proud of you, you have achieved so much and you have helped me so much i am sure your brother will be delighted with what you've done so far"

X:"i think so too and hearing you saying it makes me to believe it even more"

Me:"uhmm but are you fine though?"

X:"never been better" he was now smiling

Me:" let me go talk to mom, i have to tell her about the baby and oww we are gonna be busy parking the furnisher today hey, i think they are delivering them"

X:"eish" i laughed and walked out.