MMBENGWA
Chapter 1
When I started this whole
debacle, I honestly had no idea about the ugliness of what I was doing. Mr
Madzunye who was my traditional healer/inyanga didn’t bother enlighten me as we
were busy planning and doing everything. I didn’t know that the aftermath of my
actions were nothing but tears and complete full-on heartache. I honestly
regret the day it all began. I found myself in a situation where I was
beheading my own mother. Yes, I am talking about cutting her head off. And no,
not a stepmother or a guardian, I am talking about the mother who actually gave
birth to me and raised me. The ugly debacle took place in her own house where
she raised me. I know that this makes me looks evil and stone hearted but
sometimes we find ourselves in situations where no matter how we might wish to
get out but we’re stuck. Before the whole beheading process started, I stood by
and watched as Mr Madzunye was busy mutilating her body and cutting off
whatever human piece he wanted from her. Her mouth was covered so she couldn’t
possibly scream but it was the way she looked at me with tears in her eyes that
reached down to the depth of my dark evil heart. I honestly wanted to look away
and not look at her but Madzunye said that if I look away then it won’t
work.
...
My name is Mmbengwa
Mukwevho…Mmbengwa means (the hated one). I was a 25 years old young woman who
was happily married and had two kids who happen to be twins. I am not too sure
about the happily married part though. So maybe I should say that I did what I
could to keep us happy. My husband and I had various businesses. It was because
of these businesses, greed, pride and competition that we ended up in this
horrifying situation. I mean, who wouldn’t want to be ranked amongst the likes
of Motsepe?
Chapter 2
Let me tell you everything
from the beginning up until I decided to do something so dark and so evil. I
don’t quite understand what drives a parent into loving other kids more than
the others. My mother had three children. My sister Balanganani was a first
born, I was a second born and my brother Marubini was the last born. I don’t
know what went wrong or what I did for things to spiral out of control the way
they did, but my mother never loved me. My dad died when we were still young
and he was working at a Government’s department so after he passed away, my
mother received his pension money…so yeah, I can say without a doubt that we
had all the basic needs while growing up but I for one never experienced my
mother’s love as compared to my other two siblings.
I always felt out of place
when I was home, like I didn’t belong and like I was a nuisance of some sort.
As for sending me around, I was always the go-to kid when it comes to getting
things done and my mom was always up on my case yelling at me for something.
After my dad passed away, my mom opened a small business whereby she would
stock up second hand clothes and sell them. I never saw any piece of clothing
from her stock, not even a simple tank top…she never gave me anything. As for
my sister…she was allowed to take whatever she wanted whenever a new stock is
brought back home. I didn’t become so resentful, wrathful and full of hate on purpose…the
ill treatment and the hate from my mother made me want to hate her back. And
because of this ill treatment and how my siblings were always treated better
than me, I developed hate towards them too. I hated them so much because they
had everything I ever wanted. The hate escalated when my older sister
Balanganani passed Grade 12 and my mom used her savings to take Balanganani to
University. Balanganani was only three years older than me so when she was
doing her 4th year at varsity, I was supposed to begin my 1st
year of studies but that didn’t happen because my mother stressed the issue
that she had no money left in her savings and that I should wait for
Balanganani to finish her studies, get a job and then she’d pay for my tertiary
education.
2 years down the line I was
still staying at home doing nothing. My sister Balanganani managed to finish
her studies and got a job but then she fell pregnant and then started planning
her wedding and family and totally forgot about me and the fact that she had to
pay for my fees. The whole thing caused a very big rift between me and
Balanganani because I was failing to understand how she could start talking and
planning her wedding when the agreement was for her to take me to school just
like how mom said. She told me that she couldn’t abandon the guy who was
willing to marry her because of me and that she had a baby on the way meaning
that she had to start planning for the baby as well as contributing to the
wedding so taking me to school was no longer an option. I tried to talk to my
mom about this but then she told me that it’s rare to find a man who want to
marry you these days so if Balanganani got herself a husband then we should be
happy with her and stop stressing her. I tried to tell her how much I wanted to
study and how I also deserved a chance to study but then she told me that I
should wait for her to save up again and then I will go to school. Things got
so heated in such a way that I ended up in a physical fight with Balanganani.
Since that day, things between me and my sister were never the same…I didn’t
even go to her wedding. My heart was burning with anger. The thought that my
sister had everything a woman needed in life was enough to stop my breathing.
The whole thing just fuelled the anger I already had in my siblings. It was a
clear indication that no one cared or loved me in this family and they clearly
didn’t care about my future as well. I made a promise to myself that day…I
promised myself that I would fight teeth and nails to be successful in this
life even without my family’s help and I aimed at being better than all my siblings.
Here is the biggest problem…
Once you start living your
life to spite other people, you end up hurting yourself and even though you can
be 10 times better than them…it can never be enough because you are forever in
a competition. The same thing happened to me because I was driven by a
competition.
.
Chapter 3
It was the day before
Balanganani’s wedding. My brother Marubini was going up and down ensuring that
everything is going accordingly and helping where he can. I was just sitting at
home doing absolutely nothing to assist. They tried to come and ask me to help
here and there but I didn’t say a word...i just shot them a death stare and
went back to bed. I literally spent the whole afternoon in bed while everyone
else was running around trying to get things ready for the big day. I felt that
there was no need for me to get out of my way and help because it’s not like my
assistance was ever going to be recognised so why waste my time and energy. By
the end of the day my mom was dog tired and as for the bride…yerrr her feet
were even swollen with all the up and down. I looked at them and couldn’t help
but laugh…I mean…who still plan and prepare their weddings these days? People
hire a wedding planner in order to avoid all the stress and fatigue that comes
with wedding preparations.
That evening I felt nauseated
and was near tears because everything was coming together and it was clear that
the wedding was going to be a spectacular one. I was so enraged in such a way
that I was tempted to strangle Balanganani to death so that the little wedding
don’t take place. I knew I didn’t have enough strength to strangle her so I got
out of my bed and walked out of the house to get some air…I couldn’t deal with
all the wedding talks anymore. I was walking out of the get when I bumped into
some guy. Well, I forgot to mention where we were staying. We were staying at
Ha-Mphego. So I ran into this guy immediately when I walked outside the gate.
It wasn’t really scary outside because there were people everywhere due to the
bloody stupid wedding.
“So where are you going so
late?” I honestly wanted to find out who this guy was because he was talking to
me as if he knew me but his voice didn’t sound familiar at all and I couldn’t
even see his face because it was dark
Me:’ do I know you?” I said
while I was ready to scream my lungs out should he try anything funny
“Well…I don’t know about you
knowing me but I know you…I brought my family for the wedding” I nodded
Me:” ow so you are a taxi
driver?” he giggled lightly
“No…I am driving my own car”
you see now? After he mentioned the car I gave him my undivided attention
Me:” ow”
“I parked it over there…come…let’s
go sit down”
Me:” but I don’t even see your
face” he giggled again while taking out a phone from his pocket. He switched on
a flashlight from his phone and gave it to me so that I may have a look at him.
I directed the light at him and my world stopped and I just looked at him
without as much as a blink. Don’t be fooled ladies….there are good looking guys
out on these streets….looking at him my heart literally stopped beating for a
second
“You’re not done looking at
me? It’s hurting my eyes” I gave him my smile and gave him back his phone. I
was honestly lost in his looks and forgot that the flashlight was not good for
anyone’s eyes.
“So…can we?” I giggled…I mean
what a stupid silly question. The right question here would have been “will you
marry me?” I know I just met him and I didn’t know zilch about him but I could
say yes to him. I mean…this nigga could guarantee me good-looking kids…like I
would be sorted for life. So I stumbled around with my clumsy feet and followed
him to his car. His car…damn nigga wasn’t driving just any car…he was outhea
driving a damn AMG….i couldn’t believe it
“So you are Mmbengwa right?” I
melted…I mean he knew my damn name…who wouldn’t be excited if a guy like this
knew their name?
Me:” yeah…and you are?”
Guy:” Thilivhali”
Me:” okay Thili” I said with a
smiling realising that if I was to end up as this guy’s wife then I would be
much richer than my sister. Thilivhali obviously looked and smelt rich. I made
a note in my head that I had to try and get this guy. Imagine me marrying him? Imagine
the look on my sister’s face when she realises that I am martyring a guy who is
much richer then her little husband? She would be epileptic for a second
believe me. She got off on knowing that she was miss-have-it-all but imagine if
that changes and I become the rich one?
.
Chapter 4
Girls you must know the ticket
out of poverty when you see one. Looking at Thilivhali all I was seeing was a
bus written in bold letters ‘bye-bye poverty’. Even though I had only met him
few minutes ago…I had already done calculations in my head that ended up with
me and him together. Some people when they met the people they ended up with they
say ‘it was love at first site’ but not to me. For me it was ‘bye-bye poverty
at first site’. All I saw when I looked at him was myself being better than
Balanganani
Thili:"you look like you
are deep in thought” I snapped out of my thoughts and looked at him. We were
standing leaning against his car. I was secretly praying that he would suggest
that we get inside the car…I mean…do you know the smell of leather seats?
Me:” uhm sorry…so
Thilivhali…how do you know me?”
Thili:’ so you don’t me at
all?” I looked at him and shook my head
Me: “not at all”
Tshili:” I am Mmberegeni’s
cousin…Mmberegeni who is getting married to your sister. I was here the whole
week helping here and there so I went home today to pick up my family” this was
perfect…ow God this was so bloody perfect. So this guy was related to
Balanganani’s in-laws? So I get to get married and have her watch me to marry
into her family? Hauwa I was never letting go of him…Thilivhali had to be mine.
Me:” so you brought your mom?”
Thili:” no…uhm it’s my aunt
and her daughters” he looked away and then back at me
Me:” and your mom?”
Thili:” she passed away”
Me:” ow I am so sorry”
Thili:” it’s okay…she’s been
gone for a while…so…I noticed that you were alone the whole afternoon while
everyone else was busy working” ok this was embarrassing…how do I explain this
to him and make him understand my actions? How do I tell him that I was a
stubborn sibling who was hated by her whole family and hated them too?
Me:” it’s complicated”
Thili:”uncomplicated it for me”
I looked at him and breathed
Me:” Thili I don’t even know
you so please”
Thili:” I get it though” I
looked at him with a frown
Me:” what are you getting?”
Thili:” that you are the odd
one out...you feel like a guest almost all the time…they treat you differently
from the others and as a results you just don’t give a damn anymore” I stood
there and looked at him and felt like I was in a dream…how did he know all
this?
Me:”how the hell did you come
up with that bull?” I wasn't about to admit to a stranger that I was an unloved
bitter child in my family
Thili:” I’ve been there once
Mmbengwa so I know all about it…I was once like you and your whole reaction to
this wedding as well as how they speak behind your back told me that you are
just like me” I swallowed and couldn’t say a word
Thili:”how is it going at
school?”
Me:” I passed Grade 12 two
years ago and my sister was supposed to take me to school because our mother
spent all her savings on her studies but here I am” he looked at me and started
nodding. I then saw a smile flashing on his face
Me:” so my misery is amusing
to you?”
Thili:” not at all…it’s just
that I stayed at home for 3 years without going to school while others were
studying...i get you Mmbeeee, I get you more than you can ever imagine” maybe
it was not love at first site but I was starting to feel something
Me:’ so how did you do it? How
did you become successful?”
Thili:” the biggest question
here is do you want to be successful?” I giggled
Me:’ what kind of question is
that?”
Thili:” I want to know”
Me:”I obviously want to be
successful”
Thili:" how bad do you
want it?" there was something deep and scary about how he was asking me
this question…his voice had changed a bit
Me:” very bad”
Thili:” do you want to be
better than Balanganani in everything? To be more successful than her?” my
heart started beating faster and I felt as though the place was getting darker
and darker. The small light from the house that illuminated our surroundings
suddenly disappeared. I loathed Balanganani because she had everything I wanted
but I never thought that there could be someone out there who would understand
it and want to help me through it.
Me:” I need this more than anything”
he looked at me and smirked in a way that scared me
Thili:” come here” he said
that pulling me to him for a hug. My heart was beating out of my chest and I was
so scared
Thili:”depending on your
dedication…I can give you everything Mmbengwa” my heart was now near explosion.
I pushed him away slowly and looked at him straight in the eyes
Me:’ but why?”
Thili:” because I need a wife
who would understand me and my plans” at first I was really excited because I felt
that I wanted him and the whole thing felt like a joke but now? Now I was
scared.
.
Chapter 5
I don’t know why but there was
just something about Thilivhali that made me not to feel free anymore. I felt
as though he was surrounded by darkness and I felt my whole body telling me to
stay away from him and not to ever attempt to talk to him but do you know stubbornness?
Do you think the hard-headed me stayed away? No I stood there and didn’t even
more an inch. Even though my intuition was telling me that there was something off
about him…I couldn’t stay away…I mean, maybe I was just overreacting.
Thili:”you don’t look okay…is everything
ok?”
Me:” I didn’t expect to meet someone
like you”
Thili:” someone like me?”
Me:” someone who understand my
predicament and who is saying the things you just said to me…so I am still
surprised” he smiled
Thili:”let’s go” I looked at
him with a frown
Me: “where to?”
Thili:” to my place” I looked
away
Me:”you’ll have to forgive me
Thili…yeah I am enjoying your company but I am not about to have you ship me
off to some village…no” the truth is I was scared. Yeah I was a bit forward and
all that but I had never dated a guy…let alone go to a guy’s home
Thili:”okay…so can you please
come to the wedding tomorrow?”
Me:”uhm I really can’t”
Thili:”okay I get it…how about
you don’t come to the wedding but just attend the reception?”
Me:” why?”
Thili:’ because I have a
surprise for you” I smiled looking at him
Me:” but you don’t know me
Thili”
Thili:” I know you more than you
think…I’ve been looking for someone for a while now Mmbee…not just someone but
someone who understands me…some call it love at first site or whatever they may
call it but if you meet someone you feel you love then why wait?” okay wait a
minute? Did he say ‘love’? Guys did he say he loves me? I couldn’t believe it
Me:”love?’ I had to get clarity. He nodded and then
looked up on the sky looking at the stars. I did the same and say nothing else.
I had never dated anyone before. Yeah I have had guys asking me out but none of
them interested me so standing here with Thilivhali I had no idea what was
going on. He said something about love…so does that mean that he was now my
boyfriend? If that’s the case then what do we do from here then? I mean…I didn’t
even have a damn cell phone to exchange phone calls with him.
The following morning I woke
up really late. The whole house was a chaos but I didn’t even bother get
involved in all that crap. I slept and covered myself with a blanket and
pretended like I was somewhere else. After a very long time the house became
quiet so I suspected that people were at the wedding. I planned on staying at
home the whole day without as much as a bath but then I thought about
Thilivhali’s request to have me come to the reception. The reception was being
held at a community hall at Ha-Mphego whereas the wedding took place at church.
I took a bath around 12 so that I can make it to the reception on time. I didn’t
really have nice clothes so I just wore my blue dress….that dress was the first
and the last…it was the only fancy dress I owned. After that I wore simple
sandals.
I left the house and went to
the stupid reception. I got there and stood at the entrance of the hall and
felt that I didn’t belong here. I was seriously underdressed so I turned around
to walk away when I heard someone with a microphone say
“Mmbengwa wait” I turned around
and looked to the front. People were busy doing the speeches but Thilivhali had
snatched the mic and had it on his hand. I looked at him and shook my head
Thili:”I love you” I felt like
asking the world to swallow me. I shook my head again in fear. I couldn’t believe
that this was actually happening.
Thili:” Mmbengwa I know we
just met but…can you please marry me?” people started ululating and clapping
hands. He held out his hand for me to come to him…I sighed and then walked to
him. He hugged me as soon as I got to him
Thili:" what a better way
to ruin her day than seeing her sister whom she hates so much getting a
marriage proposal from a man richer than her husband? Isn’t that
beautiful?" he whispered in my ear. I hugged him tighter because I realised
that he got me in a way that I never thought anyone could ever get me. I opened
one eye and my eye met Balanganani’s eyes and she looked like she was about to
explode. I gave her a smile and rested my head on Thili’s chest.
impressive work
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