Mmbengwa 21-25

MMBENGWA

Chapter 21

After the whole thing Madzunye left. I sat on the sofa and couldn’t help but wonder if this is really what I wanted. Thilivhali came and knelt in front of me and took my hands and looked at me straight in the eyes

Thili:”there is no need to be scared Mmbengwa”

Me:” I don’t know what to say”

Thili:” just say anything” I sighed while starring at him

Me:”Thilivhali are you honestly going to have eyes for me alone? I can’t go through all of this for nothing. I want to know if the darkness is really worth it” he kissed my hands

Thili:” you heard what Madzunye said Mmbengwa, I’ve been looking for someone for a while and I couldn’t find that special someone…well the thing is they were not accepting the girls I was choosing…you are the only girl that they accepted so I will be crazy to ruin this”

Me:” who are ‘they’?”

Thili:” not now Mmbee” I looked into his eyes

Me:” do you honestly think that I am still capable of backing down? If I do that how do you think I will be treated at home? They will treat me worse than before so I am not going anywhere and beside that…I like you so you can trust me…we are about to be husband and wife so you need to learn to trust me” he breathed while looking at my hands

Thili:” it’s more like ancestors…they give me orders I have to obey and the last order I received was to find myself a wife because I am now a man and I need someone to share everything with…and they like you” I looked at him and smiled

Me:” I want this to work…I’ve been through a lot in my life and I don’t ever want to go back there”

Thili:” I get it”

Me:” one more thing…I want a big wedding, I want my wedding to be a historic event…one that have never been seen before” he looked at me and smiled

Thili:” then a big historic event is what you will get” he was laughing

Me:” when we got here you said something about food, what did you prepare?”

Thili:” come and have a look” he took my hand and we went to the kitchen.

ONE MONTH LATER

The little binding ceremony by Madzunye marked the change of my life…it marked the moment at which my life changed for good. Thilivhali seemed really serious about us and that was kinda surprising. I don’t know if I was expecting him to back down but so far I was impressed. I spent a couple of nights with him in his house and he never even tried to have sex with me, he was keeping his promise. He even got me a wedding planner so I didn’t have to run around doing wedding preparations by myself…I had someone to do all of that for me. For the first time…my life was perfect. As for my mother and Balanganani, even though they were trying their best to have a relationship with me and including me in their lives and treating me like part of the family…I was battling to let them in for real. It’s not that I didn’t want to have a relationship with them, no…the thing is I was not sure if I could trust their intentions…I mean, what if they were just acting and planning something horrible against me? I couldn’t take that chance.

In a nitshell…the wedding preparations were going well and Thilivhali seemed to be serious about everything. I didn’t have a budget limit…he made it clear to me that I should use money as I see fit. And ow…I was also given a credit card I kept with me…it was for me to get myself whatever it is that I wanted in life…like come the hell on Thili…I couldn’t be more happier. I even went to the driving school because future hubby said I should do it so that I can start driving.

Thilivhali was always busy at work but he was making time for me. It was usually at night after work and he would take me out and we would spend some lovely time together. Weekend were meant for us…we used to go places on weekends…I am talking about picnics, resorts, road trips and so forth. I was enjoying everything and I also loved how it was helping us bond as partners…we fell in love for real during this period because we spent too much time together.

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Chapter 22

It was on a Sunday afternoon when I decided that I will go spend my afternoon at Thili’s house…well…my house-to-be. Thilivhali informed me that he will go to work in the morning and that he won’t be long. I told him that I will go to the house with my friend just to show her around. Yeah Langanani was back home and was going back to Gauteng tomorrow morning. Ow…I forgot to mention that future hubby got me a polo…yeah I didn’t have my licence yet and was driving around with my learners drivers licence…but I was already a good driver. I can’t explain how I felt when he got me this car…I was over joyed…so overjoyed in such a way that I even cried.

Mom: “where did you say you were going again?” my mom said looking at me and Langanani while we were about to leave the house

Me:” Unit D” I was looking at her

Mom:” ow okay…drive safely”

Me:”yeah…uhm is there anything that I should get you?” life had drastically changed guys. I was now one of those people who have limitless money in their accounts…like I could just spend as I see fit

Mom:”uhm no there is nothing right now”

Me:” okay cool then” Langanani and I got into the car and drove away. Even though I was already a good driver I drove slowly

Langi:’ so what’s up with you and your mom?”

Me: “Buckle up and then we can talk please”

Langi:”but we’re still at the gravel road…it’s not like we are at the main road yet”

Me:” Langanani please”

Langi:’ uhm okay” she buckled up while rolling her eyes

Me:” so what were you saying?”

Langi:”I am worried about your mom…I have known you my whole life and I have also known her my whole life but I have never seen her treat you this good…it’s creepy and scary” I smiled

Langi:” she’s really changed right?”

Langi:” what? When did you become so dumb? Is it the money that’s confusing you? You think your mom has changed? She is only putting up a show because she would rather have you close than to treat you like dirt…you’re about to be rich so she’s just trying to get close to all of that”

I sighed. I knew that there was a possibility that my mom’s treatment towards me might not be real but I chose to ignore that because I enjoyed how she was treating me now. She was treating me like her own child and for the first time in my life, I was starting to feel like part of the family. Even though I wasn’t sure if it was real…I also decided that I was going to play along and behave myself and be better. There was one thing that I wasn’t going to do though…I wasn’t going to allow her to be close to my husband because I was scared of what she might do…I just couldn’t shake the feeling that she might try to sabotage me.

Me: “just leave it please”

Langi:”I don’t know if all this money is starting to get into your head but Mmbengwa stop what you are doing and open your damn eyes…did you forget the kind of person that your mom really is?”

Me: “but she is my mother” I yelled…maybe deep down I wanted to believe that she cared…is that so bad?

Langi:” wow…okay”

Me:” Langanani I understand what you are saying and I will never let her get close to Thilivhali or what I share with him…I will keep her at an arm’s length…so you can relax”

Langi:”I just don’t want to see you lose everything” I smiled

Me:” I won’t”

I drove all the way to my fiancée’s house. I used the remote to open the gate and I drove in. Yeah, I had my own set of keys to the house.

Langi:”uhm Mmbengwa wait a minute…where is this place?”

Me: “this is going to be my home Langi…matter of fact it is my home”

Langi:” noooo…ow my God noooo” she said that with her hands on her head and I just smiled

Langi:’ Mmbengwa!” she screamed’

Me:” I know right?” I said that parking my car at the driveway and Langanani immediately got out of the car and stood out there starring at the house

Langi:”Mmbengwa?” she said with her hand covering her mouth…she was smiling and looked really shocked

Me:” it’s all over Langi…the suffering and the stress…I am about to have the time of my life”

Langi:’ where did you meet this guy? Does he have a twin brother or just a brother at least?” I laughed

Me: “unfortunately no”

We were still standing outside when the gate opened and Thili’s car drove in. I smiled and looked at my friend expecting her to say something because she always has an opinion about basically everything but she said nothing. I was surprised and then realised that she couldn’t even notice that I was looking at her…she had all her attention glued to Thili’s car…the look she gave him didn’t really sit well with me to be honest…it was as if she was lusting over him…well Langanani was my friend and I knew her so she definitely was lusting over him. Thili parked his car behind mine and got out. I looked at Langanani and she was looking at him with that charming smile of hers…I frowned instantly. She gave him a wave and then winked at him while she smiled…it was as if she wasn’t aware of my presence. I immediately looked at Thilivhali to see if he will return the smile, the wave or the wink but instead he had his glued on me…he smiled at me and I knew in my heart that I had nothing to worry about.

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Chapter 23

Even though Thilivhali was giving me a satisfying smile that made me feel like I was the only woman in the world…I couldn’t help but felt sick to my stomach over how Langanani was acting…I honestly had the edge to puke right at that second but I tried my best to act normal and not show how I was really feeling inside so instead of revealing how I sick I was…I looked at Thilivhali and returned a smile. In my head I was dragging Langanani with her cheap weave and banging her head against the wall but I did none of that because I didn’t want Thilivhali to think that I was losing it.

Thili:” come here” he said that with that beautiful smile of his with his arms wide open for me. You know what...f*** Langanani, Thilivhali was mine and mine alone. I went to him and he hugged me tight for a brief moment and then we let go of each other and looked at my friend Langanani

Thili:” hi” I looked at my friend who was now smiling as if Thilivhali just declared his love for her…she was nauseating

Langi:” hi to you too”

I looked at her and our eyes met…I gave her a warning look that was accompanied by a deep frown but she pretended not to see anything….matter of fact she was unaffected by my reaction because all she was doing was stare at my man. My blood was boiling already but I didn’t want to act like a psycho so I stood there and took it all in like a strong woman I knew I was. I honestly wanted to f*** her up but I stayed patient.

Thili:’ how long have you been here?” he was looking at me so I took my eyes off Langanani and starred at him

Me:” we just got here now”

Thili:” okay…I will be in the house then…I will leave you girls to it” I was busy nodding when Langanani said:

Langi:” it would be nice if you would spend some time with us” I gave her a death stare…the kind of stare that had the ability to uproot a 1000 years old tree…I mean...what the hell has gotten into her all of a sudden? I batted my eyes and looked at Thilivhali wanting to hear what his reply would be…I was looking at him with my eyes wide open

Thili:”I don’t mean to be rude or anything but you are Mmbengwa’s friend not mine and I believe that if my person over here wanted me to spend time with the two of you she would have asked but that death stare she is giving me right now is suggesting otherwise” he said that and didn’t wait for either me or Langanani to reply…he just walked into the house and left us outside. I don’t know guys but this nigga was hell bent on making me fall in love with him…I mean…who wouldn’t fall in love with that? He wasn’t even giving me a moment to have doubts about the kind of man he was and the kind of husband he was going to be and I was busy falling for him. 

I stood there with Langanani and smiled with my hands on my hips. This wasn’t a smile of happiness but rather despair…I mean I was trying my best not to show Langanani just how pissed I was because she was my friend and I loved her. I looked at her and for the first time I fully understood why Nigerian women always tap one foot on the floor when they are pissed…it’s because you feel as if everything is burning due to anger and the foot-tapping is a way to try and calm yourself down…although I wasn’t sure if it was going to be effective in this particular situation. I didn’t even know where to begin, all of a sudden she couldn’t even face me so she looked away. I walked over to her and stood in front of her face so that I can look at her straight in the face. She looked at me and blinked several times.

Me:” do you want him?” I said that with a giggle

Langi:’ what are you talking about?” she said that and tried to look away but I put my hand on her shoulder and forced her to look at me

Me:”I mean my fiancée Langi…do you want him for yourself? You are forgetting that I know you and I also know the smile you were giving him…it’s the same smile that you gave Mulatedzi’s boyfriend when she was still our friend and you ended up taking her boyfriend…it’s just that we were still young and I didn’t think anything of it until now”

Langi:”what? Of course not…I will never do that to you”

Me:”but what’s with that smile you were giving him huh? That was definitely not an innocent smile and you know it too”

Langi:” Mmbengwa I will never do that to you I promise” I stood there and looked at her. I honestly wanted to trust what she was saying but I couldn’t believe her or trust her…not with my husband

Me:”I really want to trust you Langi I do but after how you’ve just behaved I have doubts, you haven’t grown up and I really can’t take that risk”

Langi:”Mmbengwa we come a long way…you kn-“

Me: “exactly…we come a long way and therefore it’s inappropriate for you to be giving my fiancée that smile” I said that and went to my car and took out R100 note and came back with it and gave it to her. She looked at me with a frown

Me: “you can take a taxi home…I will see you when I come back”

Langi:” Mmbengwa please”

Me:” we’ve been friends since childhood and I don’t want us to fight because you are the only person closest to family whom I know cares about me and love me but right now I want you out of my space Langi”

Langi:” wow” she was shocked

Me: “you can go around telling people that I have changed and that I chased you out of my fiancée’s house because I am about to get married …I don’t care…as long as you know the real truth yourself”

I told her that because we all know how people are…I mean someone can wrong you and when you retaliate or try to protect yourself or what’s yours then people can start calling you names…that’s how people are. Langanani said nothing else but just turned around and walked out of the gate with me standing there and watching her. Thilivhali walked out of the house and came to stand next to me

Thili:’ you didn’t have to do that”

Me:” do what?”

Thili:’ me and you have been bound together by something so powerful Mmbengwa…there is no amount of winking, smiling or naked women who would make me forget that I am yours and yours alone…you don’t have to fight for me because I won’t disappoint you”

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Chapter 24

After he said that I just looked at him and melted into a smile

Me:” have you ever find yourself living a life that feels more like a dream? I am at a point where I am even scared to fall asleep at night in fear that I will wake up to realise that everything has been nothing but a dream” he smiled looking at me

Thili:”there is no dream Mmbengwa…this is your life now and as long as we support each other then I don’t see any problem”

Me:” I will support you at all times”

Thili:”since Langanani is gone…do you have anything else planned?”

Me: “nothing really…I guess we can spend the afternoon chilling and I will go home in the evening

TWO WEEKS LATER

Just like how we planned, the wedding day arrived. I was a nervous wreck, like I was really scared. Yes things between Thilivhali and me were perfect and we were agreeing on everything but I was still scared. Yeah people were showing support and seemed happy for me but I still couldn’t relax and accept the love and the support from friends and family because people can give you fake smiles and fake support out there while they are secretly wishing for your downfall. So I was a little bit worried that maybe things won’t go as we planned. Even though my best friend Langanani upset me by how she acted when she met Thilivhali…I didn’t have another choice but to forgive her and move on. I mean, she was my only friend anyway so she was my best lady at the wedding.

As for my family...they all seemed on board. But just like what I said earlier on…I couldn’t relax and accept all this sudden love and support because it could all be fake so I had a big room left out for disappointment. The ceremony was being held at the Gateway Resort at Ha-Mphego. I decided not to have the ceremony inside a hall because sometimes it gets so hot and that might ruin the whole ceremony so I had a garden wedding. The décor was exquisite and looking at it I knew that Thili’s money didn’t go to waste…the décor company did a great job. My mom and my sister looked really gorgeous and I was happy to see them but yeah….even though they looked beautiful…there was no way that they could steal my spotlight because I looked perfect…way too beautiful if you ask me and everyone else who attended the wedding.

The theme colour was white and silver…yeah I know…it was a bit too much but that’s what I wanted…I wanted everything to be too much. I didn’t have many friends and not many relatives and Thili was also just like me so we had a very minimum number of guests of which most of them wore according to the theme colours.

The ceremony went better than I expected. What really made me happy and what I really loved the most were the vows that we said to each other. When the pastor gave Thilivhali a chance to say his vows to me he looked at me with fear coupled with happiness in his eyes and said:

“I will love you for the rest of my life. I am prepared to only look at you and I promise to go blind whenever you are not around. I promise you that in sad and happy moments, in sickness and in health I will be with you holding your hand. Everyone dreams of living their life with a woman whom they love…you are that woman for me Mmbengwa. I don’t think you have any idea how happy I am right now. I promise to respect you in every way possible, to love our kids, taking care of you and making sure that you have everything that your heart desires, I won’t come back home late at night, my phone will always be in your disposal and I won’t insert a password, your picture will forever be on my whatsapp profile picture and my wallpaper. What I am trying to say is that I am promising you a life time of love and faithfulness”

I almost fainted…I couldn’t believe that he directed all of that to me…a little Minnie me? I couldn’t help but cry throughout his vows...i was totally touched. Once he was done the pastor turned his attention to me and asked me to also say my vows. Langanani wiped my face and then I swallowed and say the words

Me:” I will love you for the rest of my life. I will respect you as my husband and I promise not to never look at other men because my eyes will always be fixed on you. Even though we might disagree here and there but I promise to still love you” I looked at him and shook my head

Me:” you’ve said so many things that left me speechless and emotional and I can’t even talk anymore” the people in the audience ululated for a brief moment and then stopped

Me:”I promise to be a proud wife who will support your hustle, I promise to give you children whom I will love with the same love that I am giving you. I will support your every decision because you are the head of the house. In sadness and in happiness I will be by your side…you are everything to me Thili. You are the dream I never thought could come true. We all have dreams but there are those dreams that you know for sure that they can never come true. To have someone as loving, respectful and faithful as you was a dream I never thought could come true. I accept you with all your burdens….i promise to cook for you almost daily, to do all the house chores of a wife, to always have the TV remote control with me because I am the wife, I promise to watch your favourite sporting games and to force you to watch Scandal every night. All in all…I am promising you love. Lastly…I promise to invite God in everything we do in our home”

It was at this moment that I realised that Thilivhali said so many beautiful things but he never said anything about God. Actually ever since I met him…he had never said anything about God. I decided to shove that thought at the back of my mind and enjoy my day.

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Chapter 25

After the wedding we flew to our honeymoon and I gotta say…it was my first time being on a plane. When the flight took off I felt as though my head was spinning and I felt a bit nauseous but when we were in the air I felt everything getting back into place and I felt normal. And oww…we were flying with a private jet that Thilivhali hired just for the two of us. He held my hand throughout the flight as I was sitting by his side. He looked happy and kept smiling and taking my hand to kiss it every now and again.

We got to Cape Town quite late and I was really tired by then. Thili had a hired car that was waiting for us when we landed so after landing we took our luggage and drove to the hotel. Everything was new to me so even though I was tired…I kept looking around in appreciation and amazement. We got to the hotel and Thilivhali parked the car. Nahh…this better be a dream because the hotel was amazingly beautiful and looked really really expensive. Thilivhali went to the reception where he showed them his ID and proof of his booking and they gave us an access card to the suite. After that we walked to our suite. We got there and he opened the door and we walked in. He closed the door behind us and I stood there and took a moment of silent. Somethings are way too exquisite for you to just jump into them and start enjoying them. You need to give yourself a moment of silent and breathe it in and accept that this is really happening to you and that you are living it. It’s what I did when I walked into this hotel room. It was beautiful and fancy…I felt as though I wasn’t good enough to be here

Me:” wow”

Thili:” you like it?”

Me:” I don’t even have words” I said I was tired right? Well…looking around the suite I was no longer tired….for some odd reason I felt awake and energetic. Everything was white…when I say everything I mean everything…it looked like a mini heaven. It was gigantic and beautiful and fancy. They had few portraits on the wall…a big king sized bed in the middle of the room…a kitchen in that corner over there and a big window. I went to stand on the window and opened the curtains and looked out in the streets and just smiled…they also had a fancy 3 seater couch and a table that had a flower vase and a basket with a bottle of Champaign inside…damn

Thili:” I know that you are tired so you can take a shower and then rest…we will do the rest tomorrow” I smiled looking at him

Thili:”there is no running away from tomorrow Mmbengwa…it’s a date”  he was smiling

Me:” I didn’t say anything”

Thili:” let me tell you that even though I’ve been with other girls and even though our relationship started in a strange way…I am seriously falling Mmbengwa” I just gave him a light giggle, shook my head and walked to the bathroom.

The following morning Thilivhali woke me up after he had taken a shower. I took a shower and when I was done getting dressed we went to the dining hall for breakfast. After breakfast we came back into the suite and Thilivhali wanted nothing else other than making love to his wife. Well…I was an amateur in the whole thing and didn’t know what to do or how to do it so he took charge of the whole situation. Thili:”you don’t have to look at me like that” he said that while taking off his shirt

Me:” like what?” I said in a shacky voice. I was standing in the middle of the room when he came to me and cupped my face

Thili:”it’s not scary Mmbengwa…it’s the most intimate thing that a husband and a wife can do…after this we will officially be a husband and wife and after this we will be one…you and me Mmbengwa…do I look like I want to hurt you?”  I shook my head

Thili:”then I won’t…I just want to love you and this is one of the ways to love you”  he said that and started kissing my neck.

When we were done he pulled me closer and held me tight. I kinda had mixed feelings about it all. Even though I was scared at the beginning, I was glad that we did it and that I was no longer a virgin and I was also happy that Thilivhali was gentle and loving and sweet and kept whispering endless ‘I love you’ in my ear. I can’t really say that I enjoyed it because it was my first time…it was more painful than pleasurable but Thilivhali was a gentleman so that helped. I was happy to know that I was Thilivhali’s wife for real…making love kinda sealed the deal and I was happy about that. I looked at him while we lay in bed and just smiled. He had a perfect body…I am talking about well built, six packs and all….damn I couldn’t believe that he was all mine. Okay by now you are probably wondering how my body looks like…well I wasn’t really that bad it’s just that I had a low esteem so I didn’t really trust my looks. I wasn’t fat or thin…I was kind of in the middle…I was a bit light skinned but not too much but I fell under the category of yellow bones…as for the hairstyle… I had one of those expensive Brazilian Weaves on…I did it for the wedding but normally I am a braid and straightback kind of person.

Thili:” I love you” he said that after few minutes of us in each other’s arms

Me:” love you too”

Thili:” and I am happy” he said that and kissed me on my forehead and got out of bed. I just giggled and starred at him. He wore his shorts and then left the room and went to stand at the balcony. I got out of bed few minutes after he was gone and wore his t shirt and followed him to the balcony. Well, I’ve seen women wearing their husband’s t shirts in movies with nothing else so that’s what I was tryna do. I stood at the opened door to the balcony and realised that Thilivhali was on his phone. He was standing with his back facing me so he didn’t see me.

Thili:” it will surely work out, there is no doubt about that…yeah I did everything by the book and I only waited until today…yeah you need to trust me I am sure I did everything right…I didn’t touch her before the wedding and yeah we were even more lucky…she is truly a virgin… nahh I think they will agree…yeah I drank everything so it’s gonna have to work out and we better get a boy because if we get a girl it won’t work” he didn’t sound happy. I stood there with my feet glued to the floor and felt a rush of cold air on my skin…what the hell did he marry me for?