Life as we know it 16-20

Life as we know it

Insert 16

The following morning I was the first one to wake up. I quickly went to the shower. I was no yellow bone but I was not too dark either so I checked myself on the mirror and I had some dark spots around my waist, some parts of my body still hurt but it wasn’t as bad as last night. I decided to go to the shower, I didn’t want to spend too much time in the water. Damn the soreness as I got in the shower, it stung like hell….i wanted to run out of the shower as fast as I could but I had to be the big girl and tolerate it all. After the shower I carefully dried myself with the towel. I then walked to the bedroom and found him awake but still in bed. I don’t know what I felt for him at that moment, it was definitely not love and not hate but whatever it is….i knew I still wanted to be his wife and I was silently praying that he’d change to be his old self again. He woke up and came to me.

Ria:”babe” I raised one hand in front of his face to stop him, I didn’t want to hear anything from him

Ria:”ok I get it, I am sorry though”

Me:” I think I am gonna go home for the weekend”

Ria:”home?”

Me:”my parents’ house back home, I need some time alone and I think you need that too” he shook his head and walked away from me

Ria:”so you are running to your parents? Is that what wives do? Is that what my mom taught you?”

Me:”Ria please stop ok?”

Ria:”I understand that I what I did last night was wrong and I will give you some time to be angry about it and all but honestly Andani, do you have to run away and be your parents’ little girl all over again? This is marriage, you don’t run when the s*** start heating the fan, we deal with it” I looked at him and couldn’t believe what was coming out of his mouth

Me:”I am leaving Ria, I am never coming back, I just can’t do this anymore, you are very mean to me…like I don’t understand what happened to you”

Ria:”you are leaving me?”

Me:”I don’t know but I do know that I don’t want this anymore, this is obviously not how I imagined things to be”

Ria:”babe I get it, you made your point I am sorry”

Me:”I heard your sorry but I can’t do this anymore, you look like a damn teenager, like you aint thinking straight or something so please I don’t wanna argue with you. I will go home for the weekend and when I come back I will be staying with Vhusani or I will book a hotel, I will sort something out” he opened his mouth to talk

Me:”please don’t” he turned around and walked to the shower. I couldn’t spend another day in this house so I packed few stuff for myself and then prepared myself for work. That morning I drove myself to work.

At work I made sure never to go to his office, I didn’t want to face him because it was just going to torture me. So after work I drove to Vhusani’s place. The funny part is that I never talked to her during the day or ask her if I could stay over. Anyway I was not too worried, if she was not going to be able to have me in her house then I was gonna go for a hotel. I got to her place and knocked but there was no answer. I decided to give her a call

Vhusani:” best friend” she answered

Me:”I am at your place, where you at?”

Vhusani:”pulling up at the parking I am coming” she dropped the call, I waited and after 5 minutes she appeared

Vhusani:”hey love” she was giving me a hug and i winced

Vhusani:”what’s wrong?”

Me:”nothing, how are you?”

Vhusani:”ahg nothing much, just had a long day at work that’s all” she was unlocking her door and then we got in

Me:”uhm friend can I stay here for a couple of days” she looked at me confused

Vhusani:”huh?”

Me:”you heard me” she took off her boots and looked at me with her hands on her hips

Vhusani:”woman so you finally came to your senses? Wow” she came to me and hugged me but I winced again and pushed her a bit

Me:”no hugs please” I said awkwardly

Vhusani:”ok Andani what’s wrong? What’s wrong with you and hugs today?”

Me:”it’s nothing, can I stay or not?”

Vhusani:”you know you are always welcome here…so did he hit you?” she had her serious look on her face

Me:”Vhusani please, let me go get my bag ok?”

Vhusani:”noooo you are sitting here and tell me what that bustard did to you” I looked at her and knew that she was not going to back down

Me:”ok fine then, he beat me up last night and that’s why I left…I can’t do it anymore so can I go get my bags?” she gave me that sorry look and I hated it, I didn’t want anyone feeling sorry for me

Vhusani:”do you want me to pay him a visit?” I shook my head

Vhusani:”ok lets go get the bags”

So I spent the night at my friend’s place. The following morning I went to work as usual and guess what? When I got to my office there was a note on the door. I took it and open it. It was Rialivhuwa trying to apologise for his behaviour. I ignored him. Around 10nish in the morning I received flowers and a teddy bear and a note again saying that he is sorry. My phone was also flooded with his messages and calls. The funny part was that we were in the same Building but he couldn’t show his face. I think he didn’t know how I was going to react and he didn’t want to cause a scene.

Later in the afternoon he walked into my office and I felt last night’s fear slowly filling up the room

Me:”what are you doing here?” I quickly asked

Ria:”did you get everything I sent?”

Me:”I think I did”

Ria:”and?”

Me:”and?”

Ria” I am sorry”

Me:”I know that, you said so last night as well but I am tired”

Ria:”Andani babe please”

Me:”just go Ria, I am not coming home” I started typing on my laptop and ignored him. He looked at me one last time and then he left.

Life as we know it

Insert 17

Ok, so I stayed at Vhusani’s until the weekend and then I went back home to Limpopo. Well I gotta say that being surrounded by the people I love and who unquestionably loves me back was the greatest feeling in the world. Maybe it was because of the things that was happening between Rialivhuwa and me. I enjoyed the weekend and I made sure to avoid any talks about my husband because I didn’t want to be reminded of how much my marriage had changed. I managed to go visit my sister too and she was excited to see me. Being home was refreshing, I felt like a brand new person. I also broke the news to them about the baby. You should have seen how excited everyone was, you’d swear they were the ones pregnant. Well after the news they also gave Ria a call congratulating him. I know we agreed to wait a bit longer before telling people but I couldn’t hide the news from my parents.

On Sunday when I had to say goodbye I was sad, I even cried. I knew that the joy I had was about to be replaced by something I didn’t want to feel….PAIN. My parents drove me to Gauteng, all the way to OR Tambo, well I was their little girl and I hadn’t seen them since my wedding so they were making the best of that little time we had. When I boarded that flight, I felt sad. The thought of my husband didn’t excite me at all, I was not looking forward to seeing him. Vhusani was waiting for me at the airport when I landed in Cape Town. We then drove to her place.

I stayed with Vhusani for approximately two weeks and that’s it. If you are wondering what happened after that well….as scary as it is and as much as I hate to say it…I went back to him. You must be wondering how it happened, Well like any woman I got charmed. He was giving me all the attention any woman could fall for. There were flowers everyday in my office…He was ordering lunch for me on a daily basis, he was texting me like 10 times a day telling me how much he missed me and how sorry he was….he could come to my office 5 times a day just to check up on me. So like any female human being, I fell for it. The nigga was the love of my life so deciding to go back to him wasn’t really a rocket science, it was easy. I was in love with this man and I thought that I finally had him where I wanted him. He was begging me and that’s what I wanted. I wanted him to need me, to realise how important I was to him.

I am sad to say this but it’s true, after moving back to the house things didn’t get better. I mean about two months after moving in I found out that he was still boinking Pearl. I was already three months pregnant, we argued and fought...well not fought but I was beaten while I was pregnant and this time around I couldn’t tell Vhusani because it was humiliating. I mean I decided to come back against her well and going back to her and admit that she was right was somewhat humiliating. So I kept it to myself.

Months went by and I gave birth to our son. I was happy and so was he. My family and his family flew down for the baby and we had a full house for at least a week. My parents went back and his mom stayed behind. After the baby we became even more distant. He was with Pearl more than half the time. I was also on maternity leave and damn it was eating me up. He was with her every day during working hours and after hours. He was now coming back home late almost every night and surprisingly his mom was fine with that. She didn’t have a problem at all. I tried to approach him about coming home late and being distant and he said I should start focusing on being a mom rather than focusing on his whereabouts…auch.

I started losing my mind and i was unable to deal with being a mom and also dealing with a cheating husband who seem not to care about me at all. This is when i took one drastic decision, i decided to go back to work 2 months after giving birth, he tried to stop me but i told him that i wanted to go back to work and he didn’t fight me. Well the main reason why i wanted to go back was because i wanted to check up on him, i wanted to at least be there so that he could notice me because he was obviously not noticing me at home. Mostly because we were using different bedrooms as i was using our son’s. Well the whole thing was his mom’s idea, and he supported it too. So the office was the only place i could at least spend few minutes with him. I missed that, i missed being loved, being made love to, being kissed or just being touched. I felt desperate for his attention that i abandoned the chance of being a full time mom for just few months before going back to work and decided to go back there a bit early.

I hired a nanny and a house keeper to help my mother in law out. She also didn’t like the idea but i assured her that things were different now, mothers need to work too. She didn’t understand why because it was obviously not about the money. Well i told her the truth; i needed to keep an eye on my man and that woman laughed at me. I didn’t say she smiled at me....i mean she laughed like seriously laughed at me and for few minutes i felt stupid and i ran to my room and cried. She walked after me and said

“You think he is cheating on you right? And you want to try and stop him, i can see it in your eyes” i looked at her while wipping off my tears

Mom in law:’ well let me tell you this, if he is already in it then you won’t stop him, no one can...not even i can...they all do it Andani but eventually they get tired and he will come back to you and be yours again. It’s not like you’ll give him what he wants now, you just had a baby” i looked at her and walked out, i decided not to say anything partly because i didn’t want to sound disrespectful. So it was expected of me to sit here and wait for him to eventually get tired of Pearl, what if he never gets tired?

So that coming Monday i was going back to work, my baby was only two months old but mommy had to do what needed to be done. My first day back at work, everyone was excited to see me. It was great that they didn’t hire anyone to stand in for me, my job was divided amongst the team. Everyone was excited to see me, except for Pearl of course. I was excited to be back at work too so it felt great. I spent the rest of the morning on a meeting with the team including my husband while i was getting feedback on what went down while i was gone so that i would be able to take over. When the meeting was over everyone went their separate ways and i was left alone in my office. After flipping through some papers i smiled and got up and walked to hubby’s office. I greeted Pearl when i passed her on her desk. Babe was on the phone when i entered, i looked at him and realised how much i missed him, how much we haven’t been spending any time together and i was also excited that at least while i was at work i’d spend some time with him and hopefully be able to repair what had been broken. This is what was funny, i knew that he was still having it with Pearl, well she was spending way too much time with him than i was but i was still hell bent on trying to make things work between us.

He finished speaking on the phone and looked at me without any affection or a smile

Me:” hi” damn i felt like an idiot

Ria:” hey, done with your work already?” i laughed

Me:” no of course not, i just wanted to see you that’s all” he raised an eyebrow

Ria:” but we just had a meeting babe” auch

Me:” i mean like see you, have some alone time, we hardly have that at home” he looked at me like i just said the most stupid thing in the world

Ria:” but Andani...well....you...you know....you just had a baby” he was pointing at my vagina, like really? I felt offended but i didn’t show it

Me:” that was two months ago”

Ria:” but mom said we can’t do anything yet”

Me:” she didn’t say anything, she said we can’t make love but we can definitely kiss and touch each other you know, and still tell each other the ‘i love you’s’” i wanted to cry but i didn’t

Ria:” can we...i mean talk about this later, at home maybe, really babe we are at work here” 

Me:” we don’t talk at home, you come back late and hardly say anything to me so we g....” i stopped because someone opened the door, i looked back at the door feeling super irritated

Pearl:” uhm sorry to disturb, ehhh boss i emailed you those documents” i raised an eyebrow looking at her, did she have to come in for that?

Ria:” ok Pearl, you can close the door on your way out please” she left and closed the door

Me:”so i was sayi...”

Ria:’ you too Andani, close the door on your way out...we need to work and we can do the sex talk at home” just like that, i was dismissed.

I walked out of the office and walked to mine, i stumbled into Jake

Jake:” the hell? You aint even watching where you are walking” he had a smile on his face

Me:” ahhh well maybe you are the one who is not watching”

Jake:” me? No no no Andi, i swear it was you” he walked behind me as i head to my office, he came in after me

Jake:” so how is being a mom treating you?”I looked at him and smiled. I sat on my chair and he sat on the other one

Me:” it’s the best, it feels great, i miss him already”

Jake:”so why are you back here?” He had a serious look on his face and i laughed

Me:” wow so you didn’t want me to come back? Thank you Jake, thank you so much”

Jake:” no i do want you to come back, you know i enjoy working with you but you are a phenomenal woman Andani, educated, independent but i don’t understand why you put up with all his s***, why you do this to yourself”  i raised an eyebrow and looked at him

Me:”i have no idea what you are talking about” s*** he knew? How did he know?

Jake:” cut the crap Andi, i am not blind ok? I know what’s happening between him and Pearl, it’s been a gig while you were gone, and i know you know too and its probably the reason why you left your baby at home and come back here just to keep an eye on him....he has no respect for you, i have seen that.....i know you...and i also know when something is up, i might not talk about it because i respect our friendship but for you to leave that small baby at home so that you can husbandsit him? You deserve much better...a husband you won’t have to sacrifice so much for” he got up and left my office

Life as we know it’

Insert 18

I sat there in my chair like a statue. Jake knew he knew what was happening and the possibility was that everyone else knew too. I wanted to break down and cry but I needed to know who else knew about my private affairs. My head was spinning; the thought of my colleagues knowing so much about me was blood-curdling. I quickly got up from my chair and ran to Jake, he was in the passage talking to a female colleague

Me:”uhm Jake can we have a word please…I am so sorry Leila but I need to talk to him” I was now looking at the lady who nodded and walked away. I looked back at Jake who gave me a questioning look

Me:”please” I begged, he nodded and I hurriedly walked back to my office with him behind me. I got inside and waited for him to walk in. he walked in and I quickly closed the door and stood against it feeling as nervous as hell.

Me:”who else knows” I was all over the place and I was now pacing around the office

Jake:”what?”

Me:”the affair? Who else knows about it? Who else knows that my husband is sleeping with Pearl” he looked at me and laughed and then kept a straight face

Jake:”is that all you are worried about? That people might know about it?”

Me:”you have no idea what I have been through with my husband, no idea at all and I can’t just throw it all away because of Pearl…why give her that satisfaction?”

Jake:”what? Andani are you even listening to yourself? For a woman your class I never thought that you would be one of those petty wives you know” he seemed angry

Me: “petty? Is that what you and everyone in this office think of me now? Do you have any idea how long I’ve been with this guy?”

Jake:”even 100 years wouldn’t excuse this…even if you’ve been with him for 100 years it still doesn’t give him a right to do all these things to you” he was really pissed

Me:”do you know what I have done for him? What parts of myself I had to give up for him? It’s already too late for me to just pack up and leave ok? I have already lost way too much. When I first introduced him to my family they didn’t like him because he didn’t fit in, he was the poorest of them all and we were the richest of them all….he didn’t have the fancy life style that he has now but you know what? They accepted him because I loved him…they made him part of my family….they took him in and treated him as their own…my dad gave him his very first job…..and now all my siblings are happily married, my parents are too and you expect me to crawl back to them and say I gave up? And say that he is cheating on me? His background doesn’t allow him to be the one to make me give up ok? He doesn’t have to own or to decide how this end…I am supposed to be the one with the deciding vote….my pride is not gonna allow me to walk out of that marriage after all the shame I have to face amongst my friends because I fell in love with a guy who was good enough to be our gardener…I gave up my pride when I fell for him….he is supposed to be a good man…that’s how our story needs to end, we are supposed to have a happy ending, to prove that money or no money…love can overcome it all. But this? I never bargained for this and I honestly have no idea how to deal with it and this…what you are seeing now is me trying my best to deal with the situation I never dreamt I will find myself in….i mean what will everyone say?” after saying all that I was crying, the whole thing was too much to bear. Jake gave me that sympathetic look and walked to me and gave me a hug

Jake:”uhm I am sorry Andani…I really am and for the record, I don’t think anyone else knows” I broke the hug and looked at him while wiping my tears

Me:”if no one else knows how you did find out?”

Jake:”well do you remember the other day you ran into me while you were crying and heading for the bathroom? Well I was actually running away from your husband’s door because I was eavesdropping….well I saw you standing there for like forever and the car was still at the parking, so your husband was obviously in the office so I didn’t understand why you’d just stand there. Out of curiosity I stood too waiting to see what was to happen… when Pearl walked out of that office I knew what was happening”

Me:”and you didn’t tell anyone?”

Jake:”no of course not”

Me:”when you said that is was a gig while I was gone what did you mean?”

Jake:”after finding out the truth then obviously when I see them together I’d read too much into it than anyone else who didn’t know anything…it was all obvious to me that something was up”

Me:”this is embarrassing, it really is but I love him Jake, I do”

Jake:”I know that” he gave me another hug and I clung to him. I smelled the scent of his cologne and I loved it, the warmth in his chest was something else. I tried to recall the last time I did something like this with Rialivhuwa and I couldn’t even remember. I slowly let go of the hug and I looked up at his eyes and without thinking I kissed him first and he responded by kissing me back. Lord what I felt while kissing him was something great, beautiful and I wanted it to last but he stopped me

Jake:”Andani what the hell?” he was touching his mouth

Me:”uhm but you kissed me back”

Jake:”yeah I did and I don’t even know why I did that but you are married Andani, as much as I know that your husband is an ass I also don’t want to do this to you…you can be better than him, you don’t need to be a female version of your husband” he was talking a hell lot of stuff I didn’t want to hear, all I needed at that moment was for him to make me feel like a woman again, to make me feel alive

Me:”I thought you liked me”

Jake:”yeah I do Andi but please you have to deal with your problems and not do something this stupid. Do you know the kind of damage this could do to you? If we start doing whatever you wanna start doing, do you have any idea what could happen if it comes out? He won’t be as forgiving and as tolerating as you….he will divorce you and throw you out on the streets and from the way you love him…girl you’ll take years to recover so please do yourself a favour and leave him first and then….just then you can move on with your life” he said that and walked out.

Life as we know it

Insert 19

Jake said quite a mouthful and I knew for a fact that he was telling the truth. But how do you just decide to leave someone you’ve loved for years and decide to just move on? I felt like there was no life without him, like I couldn’t really exist without him in my life. He was the only man I had been with and my biggest fear was that what if I never find someone to love me again.So I am sad to say that his good advice just went down the drain because I allowed my husband to walk over me all over again.

2 years later

So two years down the line and I wish I could say that things got better but they didn’t. Instead they got worse.Here is the summary of what went down during the course of two years. It was just me and him and our little baby boy Omphulusa, but we used to refer to him as Omphu. Ria was a great dad or maybe that’s what I wished he was, because being a great dad comes with some responsibilities right? He was never home, he’d spend time with the baby whenever he was home but that was usually…never. Yes he was coming home late every day and sometimes he wouldn’t bother come back. His affair with Pearl became public knowledge at work and everybody knew about it, believe me I felt like quiting the job when it happened. But oddly enough, people used to walk up to me telling me how they admire my strength and how I shouldn’t let Pearl intimidate me or let her take away what’s mine. And with all that chanting in the office, I felt stronger and I knew I had to fight for what’s mine so giving up was no option.

Of course Jake hated me for not leaving my husband but we never talked about it because I think we both didn’t want to ruin the friendship. after few months the affair ended…yeah and Pearl was too ashamed to show herself in the office, I think she thought things were gonna last forever or that I was going to be the one to leave but when they broke up she couldn’t deal with the gossip and everyone attacking her about ever trying to steal someone’s husband, so she left her job and a new PA was hired. After his affair with Pearl ended, I had him back but it was just for a couple of months and after that he started with his behaviour. There was another woman again. As much as it hurts like hell, I was forced to stomach it all because I was afraid to lose him, I didn’t want to let go and after spending few months as a normal family I knew that my Ria was still in there somewhere and all I had to do was win him back again, just like I did with Pearl. I knew there was another woman but I didn’t know her.

I lost weight and when friends and colleagues asks I’d tell them that I was trying to stay healthy. Jake was angry at me half the time, he said he didn’t understand why I was still with my husband and that I was the reason why most men will never man up and stop cheating because I actually encourage him to do it because he knows he’d be forgiven. I had lost myself, I was starting to feel like I was not beautiful, like I was not worth it…I mean why else would he go outside while I was home? I didn’t get it. I found myself changing my wardrobe like every three months…I was buying clothes like on a daily basis, I had a whole lot of make ups, the hair? I used to change them every week….i was trying to impress him, to look beautiful for him but it was never enough and he’d hardly complement me. As for beating me up, we had few fights and yes I was beaten but I still didn’t breathe a word about it to anyone, not even Vhusani.

It was Friday evening and I got home from work and didn’t cook because I knew I was spending the evening alone so I bought some take aways on the way. I just said goodbye to Omphu’s nanny when I heard his car pulling up. Really I was shocked, I didn’t even remember the last time he was home before 8pm. He walked in and found me in the kitshen. The baby was sleeping.

Ria:”hey” he said as soon as he walk in

Me:”hi” I smiled

Ria:”can we talk?” he had a serious look on and I felt nervous

Me:”now?”

Ria:”yes now” he walked past me to the living room and I followed him. He sat on the couch and I sat close to him

Me:”you look worried” and with that look I just knew that something was wrong, he was going to give me bad news and I started to really panic

Me:”Ria is it my parents?”

Ria:”no no of course not, its something else”

Me:”uhm ok, what is it then?” I was looking at him and he was looking at me

Ria:”I want a divorce” whaaaat? I looked at him and felt my body going into serious shock, I just looked at him and didn’t move or blink or anything

Ria:”Andani?” I got up and stood from a distance

Me:”you want what?” I was shaking my head

Ria:”divorce, I mean you and I both know that things are not the same anymore, we tried but its just not working out and I think its best if we just separate, divorce actually”

Me:”no” I said without even thinking. I didn’t have to think, I knew for a fact that a life without him was impossible and I wasn’t about to just give up and let him go, not after everything I had suffered so far

Ria:”Andani please I want this to be easy and simple so we don’t have to fight, we had our chance but it ended, I loved you at some point but we grew apart, you know that” s*** I started crying

Me:”I don’t know that, what I know is that you have put me through pain, after pain, after pain and now you are just going to decide to leave me? Nooo Rialivhuwa you can’t leave me, you know how much you mean to me” I was crying hysterically, I couldn’t hold myself. My worst fear just come to pass, Ria wanted to leave me and I honestly didn’t know how to take the news. He got up and came to me and gave me a hug, damn I clung to him and I knew I still love him

Me:”please Ria we can work it out, we can try one last time please, we have a baby, a family…we cant just divorce, not after all these years” I said as I was in his arms

Ria:”I know all that Andani but I am sorry….i once loved you, I did but I was still young I don’t think I even knew myself then but now I have grown up and I am a different person, I am sorry” I broke the hug and looked at him with my messed up face

Me:”so that’s it? I was just a stepping stone to all this? And now you are just going to drop me? you don’t get to just give up Ria” I was shouting.

My heart was beating out of my damn chest, it was breaking into million pieces, right there at that moment I could feel it breaking into pieces again like it had million times before but this time around it was worse, more painful, unbearable, and this time around there was just no hope but even without hope, I didn’t want to give up, I couldn’t just let go

Ria:”lets not make this harder than it already is ok? We can set up a meeting with our lawyers and then we can take it from there”

Me:”Rialivhuwa please, Ria please don’t do this I am begging you” I was whispering simply because my voice was suddenly gone, I was losing my strength, my head started pounding and I was just in deep agony

Ria:” Andani I have to go, I will see you tomorrow with my lawyer of course or maybe on a Sunday whichever one suit you so you can talk to your lawyer so long and we can schedule the time for the meeting” just like that he walked away and left me. I fell down to the floor and I cried like I never cried before. I couldn’t believe that he actually wanted to leave me and the thought of being alone in this world without him was horrifying. After all the pain, the suffering and tolerating he decided to leave me.

Life as we know it

Insert 20

After crying for some time I took my phone and called my mom

Mom:”Hi Andi how are you?” I started crying AGAIN

Mom:”Andani love what’s wrong?”

Me:”mom please I need to see you and dad” I said as I was crying

Mom:”Andani what is going on?”

Me:”please I need to see you” I said that and dropped the call.

I was done trying to fix him by myself because I realised that I was failing dismally and I was running out of time. He was talking about divorce and that’s what made me see how real this was. Rialivhuwa wanted to leave me and i felt like my world was finally crumbling down. After the call with my mom I called his mom, I tried to fix my voice so that she wouldn’t hear that I was crying. I greeted her and asked for her to fly down, I told her that I would book a flight ticket for her for tomorrow, she didn’t understand what was so urgent and she wanted me to explain but I begged her to just come and in the end she agreed.

After those two calls my mom kept on calling me, I didn’t pick up her calls, all I needed was for them to get down here and help me save my marriage. I then called Vhusani, it was no use keeping things from her anymore, I was falling apart and I needed her to be there for me. I asked her to immediately come over, she told me that she was going out with some guy…..i cant believe that I did this but I begged her to cancel the date to come spend the night with me…I knew how much the date meant to her because she was still trying to meet “the one” and she hadn’t found him yet. She agreed to cancel the date, as much as I felt bad, I knew I needed her. She arrived in my house about an hour later. I was a wreck when she arrived.

Vhusani:”Andani I tried to get here as fast as I could love….you sounded horrible on the phone what’s up?” she was giving me a hug….i held her so tight and didn’t say anything

Vhusani:”Andani?”

Me:”just hug me please” we hugged each other for couple of seconds and then we broke the hug. I walked to the fridge and took out one can of his beer and opened it

Vhusani:”now I am officially nervous what is going on? You haven’t had a drink in a while” I drank the beer and for the first time I really enjoyed it.

Me:”he wants a divorce” I said with my eyes closed as I enjoy the drink, she took the can and put it away

Vhusani:”Andani what are you saying?”

Me:”exactly that…he is leaving me Vhusani, he wants to leave”

Me:”no ways..h…I mean he….he can’t just decide to leave? I thought things were better?”

Me:”apparently not for him…he said we grew apart…he said he loved me at some point Vhusani….he said loved…as in past tense…..like he was trying to say that he doesn’t love me anymore” she gave me another hug

Vhusani:”I am so sorry Andani, so what did you say?” we broke the hug

Me:”we can’t Divorce Vhusani, it can’t happen so I called our parents to fly over so that we can have a family meeting tomorrow”

Vhusani:”you think that’s going to help?”

Me:”hopefully yes”

Vhusani:”Andani sweetheart I know how much you love him and how you desperately want things to work out but don’t you think you should just accept the divorce and move on? You’ve suffered enough and it’s about time you walk out of this marriage and start meeting new people” I gave her a fake laugh

Me:”like that’s going great for you. Unlike me you are not divorced or have a baby and you are still struggling to find someone….no offense friend but how do you think that’s gonna go down for me? Rialivhuwa is the one, I know he is”

Vhusani:”damn it Andani for one second, just for one second can you please open your damn eyes? This is a once in a life time opportunity, it’s a chance for you to leave this guy and be happy” she shouted

Me:”I don’t want us to fight about this please, I just want you to spend the night…you’ll leave tomorrow pretty please”

Vhusani:”only because I love you” 

So I spent the night with my friend. We slept very late that night. She was telling me about the guy who was taking her out that night. They had been to two dates already and things were looking great. She told me about their previous dates and I guess I was too focused on my own affairs that I even forgot about it. We didn’t talk about my marriage because we just didn’t wanna fight again. We woke up and made breakfast, after breakfast Vhusani said goodbye and left. I spent the whole afternoon with my baby. I spent most of the time in the kitchen cooking; I wanted to prepare some fancy food for my parents and my mom in law

Late afternoon at around four, my dad called and asked me to come pick them up at the airport. I took my baby and drove to the airport. I was kinda excited to see them, although the reason they came was not really good news but I was excited. I got there and found them chilling at the restaurant with my mother in law too…they used the same flight

Me:”wow I can’t believe that people are actually at the restaurant…I mean I spent the whole day cooking” I said with a huge grin on my face

Mom In Law :”not to worry Andi, we only ordered drinks, we are definitely going to enjoy the fist you prepared” I smiled and hugged them all

Dad:”you look better than I expected” I was helping them with the bags, I didn’t answer him but I just giggled as we walk to my car. We all got in and I drove back home.

We got home and Ria’s car was parked at the driveway. He was home. I smiled at myself, I thought I was gonna have to call him but somehow God answered my prayers. We got inside the house and Ria was in the kitchen drinking water

Me:”hey love” I said with a smile on my face….my dad was holding the baby

Ria:”what? uhm…w….uhm hey” he smiled at them and then gave me a warning look, I shrugged my shoulders and took their bags to their rooms. I put his mom’s bag in her own room and my parents’ in the other room. I then walked back to the living room. Rialivhuwa was already chatting with our parents and that gave me a little bit of hope

Me:”food everyone?”

Dad:”yes of course” my mom and mom in law helped me take the food to the dining room. My dad didn’t want to let go of the baby, he insisted that he sits with him on the dining table. So we were chatting, laughing and joking around the table while we were enjoying the food

Dad:”maybe this is not a good time but Andani you called us all here in such a short notice, I am sure it was not for the food so I am being impatient…what’s the news?” I put my fork on the table and looked at Ria and then at everyone

Me:”uhm…I….”

Ria:”we are getting a divorce” he blurted out and i hated him so much for doing that

Mom:”you are what?”

Mom in law:”nooo”

Dad:”what did you say?” I just looked at him and felt defeated, I sat back and just looked at him and I wanted to cry all over again, but I had to be strong in order for this to be resolved

Ria:”we are getting a divorce, we tried to make it work but it didn’t”

They all looked at me

Mom in law:”Andani?”

Me:”that’s why I called this meeting, I love him and I still want this marriage to work, I was hoping that with your guidance we can make it work” I said with my low voice while looking down on my hands

Ria:”Andani I hear what you are saying but I can’t be expected to stay in a marriage where I am not happy”

Mom:”what do you mean you are not happy Ria?”

Me:”he fell in love with another woman, apparently i am not good enough for him anymore” I answered for him

Dad:”Rialivhuwa you’ve been cheating on my daughter?” my dad’s voice was loud

Ria:”uhm with all due respect I am truly sorry about everything”

Mom in Law:”I understand the cheating part but to divorce your wife for your mistress? You can’t do that Ria”

Dad:”I can’t believe this, so after all the years you’ve spent together you just wanna up and leave her with your son?”

Ria:”I am sorry”

Mom:”we don’t want you to be sorry, we want you to work things out with your wife…that’s the right thing to do”

Ria:”Andani I can’t believe you did this to me”

Me:”how else was I supposed to do this? You were not listening to me…after everything I have suffered and now you just wanna leave?” I started crying even though I didn’t want to

Dad:”ok now you are all seriously losing me…you’ve been suffering for what Andani? What’s that about?" my dad was losing his patience

Me:”nothing” i didn’t want to bring up the fact that he’s been beating me up because that was just going to be a deal breaker

Mom in law:”Ria you should sit down with your wife and resolve your issues....you are still too young so i am sure that whatever this is, it can be resolved” Ria got up from his chair

Ria:” i am afraid it cannot be resolved. I am truly sorry that things came to this but it happens all the time and i am truly sorry”

Dad:” and what is that now? You are supposed to be sitting down Ria, just like the rest of us”

Ria:” i want to sit down and eat but i can’t have this conversation right now. i am divorcing my wife and i don’t even know why she called everyone here without informing me so i am leaving”

Mom in law:” Rialivhuwa stop this nonsense and sit the damn down” the woman was pissed. My mom just looked at him and shook her head

Ria:” mom i am sorry but it doesn’t matter what anyone is going to say here, i am a grown man and i have made my decision. I will be contacting my lawyers Andi, you should be doing the same” with the he took his car keys and walked out of the house

Dad:” what? He didn’t just do that...he didn’t just walk out on us like that? You know what? This boy doesn’t know me...he is clearly forgetting who i am. Don’t worry baby girl i will get my lawyers on this and they will leave him with nothing....he will be left with only the clothes that he is wearing” he was pissed. I didn’t care if he was going to take everything from Ria because that was not going to bring him back to me. I got up and ran to my room. It was officially done, he seriously wanted to leave me and not even our parents could stop him. I felt like such a failure.