Life as we know it 6-10

Insert 6

Ever been with someone for years and after marriage you start to feel like you barely know the person? Like the years you spent with them were just an act? It happens to most of us and it hurts like hell because during the time you spent with that person, you were being your true self, you were not pretending or anything like that.

So after tying the knot we obviously went to the honeymoon which was paid for by my parents as a gift. Rialivhuwa was not happy about the fact that my parents paid for our honeymoon, he wanted to showcase that he was a man and paid for everything himself, just like he did with the wedding. I barely paid for anything, he wanted to pay for everything himself, i think it was because we he had spent years depending on me so he didn’t want that anymore...everyman have pride and want to feel proud for achieving certain things.

It was one month after we came back from our honeymoon and Vhusani and I organised to have a “girl’s night out” on Friday night. We used to have many of those before i got married so we thought that doing it once in a while was not going to hurt. Ria and i were still living in Cape Town because thats where we were working, Vhusani also got a job here, which was a good coincidence because we had grown to be so close over the years and she was a very close friend of mind. As for my high school buddy’s? Well, we were not so close anymore. I think i had grown over the years and i was not into the whole Barbie doll life style.

So i came back from work on Thursday and started preparing supper. Well you’ll never guess...my cooking was now better. I had taken cooking classes to better my cooking skills. You know what they say...a way to a man’s heart is through what? Well i don’t believe in that s*** but either way cooking is essesntial for every woman who has the intention to have a family, like really…can you imagine if you cant coke and you have to torture the poor husband and the kids for the rest of their lives in your house? Hauwahle that would really be heartless so i had to learn to cook.

Hubby came back and found me busy in the kitchen. He walked to me with a smile on his face and he gave me a kiss

Ria: “how was your day?” he asked, i rolled my eyes

Me: “like you even have to ask, well my boss was being his boring self” i said with a smile on my face. Ria and I worked in the same company and he was my boss but sometimes we’d use different cars depending on the plans we had for the day...it was the case here, i went to work with a separate car because he had an early meeting and left early for work

Ria: “ow really? Maybe you should let me talk to him” he was hugging me from behind

Me: “well maybe...uhm can i ask you a favour?” i turned around and looked at him, i was trying to undo his tie

Ria: “ok” he was playing with my chicks

Me: “i want to have my usual girls night out with Vhusi so you will be alone for few hours tonight, i hope you don’t mind”

Ria: “what? Nooo babe no” ok i chuckled because i thought he was joking

Me: “anyway we wont be long, we will only be an hour or 2” he removed my hands from him

Ria: “i said No Andani, its not happening...no wife of mine is going to sit at some bar and sip some cocktail...no” he walked away

Me: “but you never had a problem with it before” seriously i was still in shock, he turned around and looked at me

Ria: “you were not my wife then and you were still your parents Barbie doll but you belong to me now....you are mine and i can tell you what to and what not to do ok?” what?????

After that episode I had no choice but to call Vhusani and cancel. Rialivhuwa seemed serious about what he said and I had to be a good wife and obey. I called my friend and she picked up on the first ring

Vhusani: “guess what Andani, I also invited one of my colleague friend to come with, I hope you don’t mind” she said when she picked up her phone

Me: “yeah about that I….” eish I didn’t know how to say it better, I knew she was going to be disappointed

Vhusani: “please please don’t tell me that you are cancelling on me” she begged

Me :“I am sorry love but I have plans with Ria tonight, I totally forgot about it, I am sorry” my voice was apologetic

Vhusani: “what plans are those?” she sounded really disappointed

Me: “one of his childhood friends is in town and we are having dinner with him tonight, I am so sorry Vhusani but we can spend the afternoon together tomorrow”

I was opening the pots on the stove checking if the food was still ok....as for the lying, I had to, I couldn’t really tell her the truth, come to think of it…it was going to look like I was being controlled by my husband…which was true, or was it true? I mean it was just a once off thing, Rialivhuwa had never done anything like this before.

Vhusani: “I don’t know about tomorrow Andani, I was looking forward to this, to us”

Me: “I know, I was looking forward to it as well but I wont be able to make it, I am so sorry” Rialivhuwa appeared, I looked at him with a questioning look

Vhusani: “ok, enjoy your evening with your husband’s friend, bye” and she hang up, gosh she was angry

Me: “see? She is angry at me now” I said putting the phone on the kitchen table

Ria: “and whose fault is that?”

Me: “really? Are you going to play that kind of game with me? What was that about? Did you have a bad day at the office or what?”

Ria: “we are not really going to do this right now because I don’t want to so please Andani focus on the food ayt”

I kept quiet and continued preparing the food and he was in the shower. After I was done cooking I dished up and we sat in the dining table and started eating in silence. Usually when we do this, there is laughter and chit-chatting through out dinner, but that night none of us seemed kin on the usual.

Me:”I am trying to understand what just happened tonight, are you saying that I am not allowed to go out with my friends anymore?” he looked at me

Ria:”you are allowed do to it during the day Andi, not at night”

Me:’uhm ok” this was weird, I never had to take orders from him before and he was never this serious about stuff like this so I felt like I was sitting in my own house with a total stranger

Ria:”I am an old fashioned man my love, you know that, I grew up in the villages and I love the way that people do things there, how wives behave around their husbands and how respective they are, that’s what I want in our marriage, that’s how my mom and dad were” I raised an eye brow…nkosi yam what was happening to my Ria

Me:”but we are not in the village, we are staying in town babe….in Cape Town and not in Khayelitsha but in the suburbs…and you married me knowing very well that I grew up in the suburbs my parents are too modern so you really can’t expect us to live a rural life here and now”

Ria:”well that’s what I see us doing” I looked at him and he didn’t look at me, he was focusing on his food. I snatched his fork so that he can look at me

Ria:”what the hell Andani?” he seemed angry

Me:”I think you and I need to sit down and talk about you and your rural ways because I am not going to follow them”

Ria:”what did my mom and the other women from my church in the village told you before we got married? Didn’t they tell you anything?”

Me:’you mean that crap about always standing by your man, respect him at all times, don’t answer back to him, he is the head of the house, you don’t ask him where he slept blady blady blah…well I am not going to do that. I will respect you because you respect me too as for the other stuff that makes me look like a maid in my own house, hauwa I aint gonn do them” I don’t know how he got to my side but within seconds he was on my side and holding my hand so tight….he bent down to me and his face was against mine

Ria:”I don’t know how you do it in the suburbs love but we will do things my way. I have spent years listening to you and your parents but that’s about to come to an end…I am your husband now and my opinion is the one that matters. We aint gonn be listening to you or your parents anymore, I run the show here…understood?” I was shaking so I couldn’t mutter any word. He held me even tighter

Ria:”understood?”

Me:”yes understood” he let go of me and went back to his seat

Rialivhuwa:”something like this should never ever happen Andi” he was referring to me snatching his fork while he was busy eating. I nodded.

There…i was motionless. I don’t know if I was scared, shocked, angry or confused. This was news to me. Rialivhuwa acting like that towards me? It didn’t make sense. I never believed in superstitions or anything close to it but at this point I wondered if Rialivhuwa was going through something, or if someone had turned him against me. I sat there and didn’t move and didn’t utter a single word. I felt like I didn’t know him at all. The 6 years I had spent with him felt like nothing. Was he pretending all that time? He didn’t like my parents, it seemed like he didn’t like them, and the things he said proved that point. I reflected back on my relationship with him and realised that my parents had been part of this relationship for far too long and they had been running the show for us in many occasions. So Rialivhuwa didn’t like that and he had been holding it against me. I looked at him and didn’t know how to fix my marriage which was only a month old. After what just happened I couldn’t continue eating so I sat there like a damn statue and watched him as he finish his meal.

Ria:”thank you for a wonderful meal” he said with a smile on his face, I gave him a faint smile and just nodded.

Was Rialivhuwa blind all of a sudden? I was unhappy and clearly he could see that and he chose to ignore it. I got up from my seat and cleared the table with his help of course. Apart from the little whatever that was going on in his head that evening, there was still a bit of my man in there. That gave me a little bit of…well of what? I don’t know….but it felt like some sort of assurance that whatever was going on with him it was not permanent. After that we did the dishes together in silence. I hated it, I hated how silent we were, we’ve always been besties.

After that I went to the shower and he was busy with something in the bedroom. I came back and found him sitting at the edge of the bed like he was just waiting for me. I did a lot of thinking while in the shower

Ria:”babe”

Me:”yes” I was applying my body lotion

Ria:”I am sorry about how I talked to you earlier and how I handled the whole situation, I realise that I might have gone a bit too far….i am really sorry” there, that was my baby

Ria:”uhm ok”

Ria:”but I am not sorry about who I am and how I was raised, I am not a modern man Andi, I am more of a village man and being here is not gonna change any of that so I did my best to try and fit into your world and I would really appreciate it if you start fitting into mine”

Me:”I get it” I said without thinking

Ria:”you do?”

Me:”yes, I thought about it…I have been too comfortable and I never put any effort on your life before you met me and I want to try Ria…infact I am thinking about taking a 5 days leave next week and go home so that I can spend some quality time with my mom in law and then she can teach me a thing or two about being a real wife…and as my boss I was hoping that you’d…you know, grant me some leave” I said with a smile on my face. He walked to me and gave me one long warm kiss.

Ria:”I love you…I love you….and as for the leave….you can take as many days as you want love, I will make sure that your job gets done this side” he kissed me again

Life As We Know It

Insert 7

After a week I took a leave for five days and I must say that Rialivhuwa signed the forms with a smile on his face. He really wanted me to do this. Well, I got home and his mom was happy to see me. Ria and I had a separate house in Venda but that’s not where I went, I went to his mom’s place because I wanted to spend the full week with her. Something like this had never happen before so it was going to be a new experience. My friend Vhusani didn’t quite understand why I was going home all by myself but anyways I told her that I needed to bond with my mother in law which was partly true.

Being home for a week was hectic I got to say. Well the old woman went all out. She taught me everything and I was not even sure if I was going to master all of it. being a wife was not just a matter of making sure that you give him great sex and that you cook for him….there was an issue of being submittive, how was I going to start being submitive to someone? I don’t mind listening to him here and there but it seemed like I was expected to just be a “yes” woman, I was not going to have that, I didn’t see myself doing that.

Apart from all the stuff she was teaching me about being a wife, I had a fantastic time. After a week I said my goodbyes and board a flight back to Cape Town. My babe was waiting for me at the airport. I arrived later in the afternoon, something past 4. I walked to him because he was waiting for me at the parking and I was more than excited to see him…I think being away from each other was good for us

Ria: “hey you” he said while giving me a tight hug

Me:”hey” my voice was followed by a giggle

Ria:”how have you been love?” he said breaking the hug and giving me a brief kiss

Me:”well, I had a great time”

Ria:”I love you for doing this for us” he hugged me again and then spun me around…damn the excitement. We got home and he ran me a bath while he cooked dinner for me #wink I was complete.

So the following morning we woke up and prepared ourselves for work. We drove with my car. We got there and we walked to the office together, like we usually do. He walked straight to his office while I greet some of my collegues. I arrived at my desk and realised that I had to get a feedback on my work since I wasn’t at work for a week. Some of my coleagues filled me in and then I had to get some info from my husband as well. I was walking straight to his office when Pearl who was his PA said.

Pearl:”sorry ma’am Mr Mulaudzi is quite busy” ok I gave her a death stare and expected her to tell me to enter…this was my husband’s office and if he was busy then I’d rather wait in his office

Pearl:” maybe you can come back after few minutes” what?

Me:”you are kidding right?” she shook her head while chewing her gum which was extra disgusting

Pearl:”no…not really” I rolled my eyes and decided not to say no more, I was in no mood for little girls, I had lot of work shame….i walked past her and she ran after me, she held my hand…I looked at her in shock, like what the hell was this girl tryna do?

Me:”and now?”

Pearl:”I am sitting in that desk for a reason you know…one of them being able to control who comes in and out of that office so….i am telling you to wait” ok I gave her my brat laugh and slowly removed her hand from me

Me:”I am not your mate ok? I am your senior colleague and your boss’s wife so I will come in and out of this office as I wish and I won’t care what you say ok? I don’t give a damn if he is having a meeting with the president because he is my husband and I am going in there and I will politely ask you to go and sit at your little desk and attend to his diary and his phone calls” I said that and did my Naomi Campbell walk as I head to my babe’s office.

Me:”hey love” I said with a smile as soon as I enter

Ria:”hey” he said while getting up from his seat and walking towards me…he gave me a kiss

Me:”babe we are at work” I stopped him while smiling

Ria:”but you are still my wife”

Me:”I know babe but we have to start working…anyway whats up with Pearl? I think she is starting to get cocky, like she is starting to think that she runs the show” he moved away from me and back to his desk

Ria:”why do you say that?” he was fiddling with some papers

Me:”she is just acting weird, can you believe that she didn’t want me to come in here? Like seriously? She said you were busy but you don’t look busy to me”

Ria:”don’t sweat it babe, I will talk to her”

Me:”please do….anyway I heard Busisiwe saying that she went ahead with the audit I planned for this week and she also gave me a report” I said handing it over to him

Me:”she said that you handled the invoice and all the financial papers for that”

Well we talked about work and after that I went back to my desk.

Lunch time I made plans to meet up with Vhusani at some restaurant. I hadn’t seen her for a week so we wanted to just see each other for an hour. I got there just after her. We ordered our usual meal and then started chatting right away

Vhusani:”so…how was home?”

Me:”it was great love, I never thought I’d enjoy it that much”

Vhusani:”never thought? I thought you loved it there, that’s what you told me”

Me:”yeah I know that but I never thought I’ll enjoy it this much”

Vhusani:”well I wish I were you, I cant remember the last time I went home…it’s always great to go home”

Me:”yeah it is” I looked at her and she looked deep in thought

Me:”Vhusani what’s wrong? It looks like you are deep in thought”

Vhusani:”eish I don’t know” she was scratching her head

Me:”ok out with it, what happened love?” the waiter brought us our food and we thanked him

Me:”so?” I said while having a spoonful of food

Vhusani:”I don’t know if I should tell you or if it’s anything at all”

Me:”just say it Vhusani”

Vhusani:”just know that I am only doing this because you are my friend and I love you”

Me:”now I am scared”

Vhusani:”i….i saw your husband with that girl…uhm what’s her name again…uhm his PA…they were at the movies” I looked at her and didn’t blink

Me:”uhm what are you saying?”

Vhusani:”I went there with a guy who is trying his luck with me and…..i saw him with her buying the movie tickets” I sat back and looked at her

Me:”nooo”

Vhusani:”don…don’t jump into conclussions, maybe it was nothing…or maybe I didn’t see right…well it cant be true, we all know that Ria loves you so maybe there is some sort of an explanation”

Me:”maybe?” I was shaking, the thought of my Ria with that girl was torture. I didn’t want to believe it, I couldn’t let myself believe that the love of my life was capable of such

Vhusani:”yes maybe, don’t stress about it love”

Me:”but you saw him” my eyes were near tears

Vhusani:”you need to pull yourself together love…don’t jump into conclussions ok?”

Me:”Ow My God” I quickly got up from my seat and took my bag

Vhusani:”what?”

Me:”I need to run back to the office”

I remembered that I told him that I was going out for lunch with a friend and he said he’d order in…he’d eat something in the office. My mind was losing it. What if he was with her...having some hot steamy sex? I looked at my watch and it was only 20 minutes after lunch so there was still 40 minutes to spare. I walked out of the restaurant like a mad woman. I drove back to the office like a maniac, five minutes and I was pulling my car at the parking. I got out of the car and walked as fast as I could, I felt like taking off my high heels. I was praying…I didn’t want to find him right handed because it was going to kill me. I walked past everyone else and got to my husband’s office and opened the door but it was looked. Ok this was news….something like this never happens, they never lock the door. So I tried again and it still didn’t open up. I tried to listen in but I couldn’t hear a thing. I waited…I was never leaving that door, Pearl was also not on her desk and that was eating me up. I stood there for what felt like forever and after more than 30 minutes the door opened. And I quickly looked and she was walking out of his office giggling

Insert 8

I felt my body boiling and I grabbed her and pushed her back in. i looked at him and he was still fixing his clothes. I felt nauseous. It was all obvious, I knew what was happening. He had been having it with her in the office, right under my nose

Me:”noooo” I was breathing heavily…Pearl looked at me and then at my husband and she quickly walked out of the office, she looked scared. I wanted to grab her again and beat the day light out of her but I didn’t have the strength to do it

Me:”Ria?” I said with the last bit of energy I still had within me

Ria:”babe…Andani I didn’t mean for you to find out love…I am so sorry, I didn’t mean to do this” I looked at him and felt just pain. I couldn’t stand listening to him so I walked out of the office to the parking and I bumped into Vhusani on the way. I walked past her and she walked after me

Vhusani:”Andani what’s wrong now? I had to follow you because you left in such a hurry”

Andani:” I cant talk right now Vhusani, I just cant” I was not crying…I couldn’t cry I was just in pain and there were still parts of me that didn’t want to believe what just happened. I got to my car and unlocked then went in

Vhusani:”Andani talk to me” I looked at the rear view mirror and saw Rialivhuwa walking towards me

Me:”I have to go” I started my car and drove off.

I wanted to go to the house but I knew that Rialivhuwa was obviously going to drive after me so I decided not to go there. I didn’t know where to go, one thing for sure, I didn’t want to talk to anyone…I couldn’t handle talking to people. I drove to some hotel and booked a room all by myself. I wanted to be alone. I sat in that room like a statue for what seemed like ages. I later looked at my watch and it was 30 minutes before 4. I knew that Pearl and the rest of the people were knocking off. I wanted to see her for the last time, I was hoping that Ria was out looking for me and not in the office.

I drove back to the office and got out of the car and walked inside the building. Everyone was leaving and some of them said some stuff to me, probably saying goodbye but i couldn’t hear a thing they were saying. I went straight to her desk. She was sitting there chewing her disgusting bubble gum trying to pack up her stuff

Me:”is my husband in?” I had my straight face on

Pearl:”no” she was not looking at me

Me:”great”

I walked over to her and took whatever she was holding on her hands and threw it across the room and then held her by her collars and then I beat the bitch. This is what was strange, beating her felt so damn good. After few punches I stopped and looked at her, she was horrified. Lucky for me, everyone else had already left the office. She was not even screaming, I think she was just shocked because she didn’t expect me to go all ghetto on her

Me:”you are never ever going to sleep with my husband or if you do…I will kill you” I said that and let go of her. I looked at her one last time and waltzed out of the office.

I got to my car and felt much better. I drove home and found his car at the drive way. I got out and walked inside the house. He saw me walking in and quickly ran to me

Ria:”I was worried sick about you Andani, where have you been?”

Me:”beating up your bitch” I said taking off my high heels

Ria:”what?”

Me:”you didn’t think I was gonn let her walk away freely did you? The girl knew that we are married so she deserves what I did to her”

Ria:”what? Nooo she is gonna get you arrested Andani you shouldn’t have done that”

Me:”really? Well I have lawyers patiently waiting for me to mess up so that they can clean up my mess. Been paying them for far too long and they haven’t represented me once so this will be their chance” I walked past him to the bedroom, he walked after me

Ria:”Andi babe I am sorry”

Me:”for what exactly?” i was taking off my clothes, i needed a shower

Ria:” for everything”

Me:” what everything Rialivhuwa? Just say it...i wanna hear you say it, what are you sorry for?”  i stopped what i was doing and looked at him. Unexpectedly a tear escaped my eye and i wiped it off

Ria:”Andi please”

Me:” just say it” i was breathing heavily

Ria:” i am sorry for sleeping with Pearl” i felt a throbbing gut-wrenching pain when i hear him say that, i couldn’t handle it, tears started coming out

Me:” how long has it been going on?” i was wiping my face

Ria:” it was a once off thing, just today” s*** he lied and i couldn’t handle it...i broke down and cried

Me:” you are lying” i said while crying

Ria:” Andani i am sorry for what i did, i really am but we need to move past this ok please...it doesn’t matter how many times it happened, the thing is i am sorry” wow i couldn’t believe him

Me:” you are just unbelievable do you know that? I caught you right handed with your PA after you shipped me off to Venda for a week to stay in the bundus and now you just want to get past this? Like its nothing?”  i got up and went to the shower

Life as we know it

Insert 9

The following morning it was time for work and I didn’t want to go. I was not sure of how I was going to face the office and Pearl. So I stayed in bed and heard him walking around and heading to the shower. I woke up and just sat on the bed. I really didn’t want to go to work but I had to. I thought of what I did to Pearl yesterday and I wanted to laugh alone. But then what if she open a case against me? As much as I had lawyers, a criminal record was something that I didn’t want. Even if it’s for something as small as an assault, I didn’t want it. So he got out of the shower and found me sitting there. I took off my PJs and headed to take a very short shower. After that I came back and wore my sexiest outfit. A red body fitting dress that was just above the knees and my black high heel.

Me:”you should fire her” I said as I was busy applying my make-up and he was just standing in the middle of the room like a lost puppy

Ria:”what? Why?”

Me:”because I want you to do it, we can’t work with her anymore Rialivhuwa”

Ria:”but you know I can’t just fire someone from work love, its illegal”

Me:”I don’t care how you go about it but I want her out of there”

Ria:”I will see what to do….i am really sorry for all this”

Me:”ok”

Ria:”ok?”

Me:”yes ok but I wanna know why you did it”

Ria:”it was just a moment of weakness baby nothing more”

Me:”you’ve been with her when I was home right?”

Ria:”just one night”

Well I am not gonna lie, the whole thing was eating me up like hell but one thing for sure. I wasn’t about to give up on my husband just because some girl slept with him. I had been with Ria for over six years and giving up on him because of cheating felt really stupid. Not that I was supporting his actions but really….i was sure that Pearl seduced him

Me:”you are not gonna do it again?” this was some what funny, I was in pain but I wanted to pretend like I was fine. I wanted to be a strong woman he knew me to be. I didn’t want to act the way I did yesterday when I found out

Ria:”never” I felt a sharp pain that was followed by nervousness, I honestly didn’t want him to cheat on me again and as much as I was trying to hide it from him…my trust was broken, I don’t know how it was going to get fixed but I couldn’t trust him anymore

Me:”ok, see you at work then” I was done with my make-up and taking my hand bag

Ria:”I will drive”

Me:”don’t bother, I will drive myself”

Ria:”but I thought we were fine”

Me:”we are, but I want to drive myself” I didn’t wait for him to reply so I walked out of the house to the garage. I drove to work, I got there and parked my car at the parking and sat there for a while.

I reflected back on the events of yesterday and this morning. I felt like I was watching some movie. It didn’t look real. I mean finding my husband right handed, me beating Pearl up and Rialivhuwa apologising for cheating. I’ve seen how some men have cheated on their wives and I never thought that one day it could be me. That I’d be the wife to be cheated on. It was hard to swallow. And pretending this morning was even more difficult. I didn’t want to lose him…that was a fact. I was afraid that if I go all crazy again or be too angry then he’d run back to her. I didn’t want that. The thought of him with her was eating up on me. But the undeniable and most truthful truth was that I was still in love with my husband and was hell bent on making sure that he stays mine. I wasn’t about to give up on something that I built for more than 6 years. I made him. I built him. I made him to be the person that he was, I moulded him and I wasn’t going to let some PA have him all to herself.

I saw his car driving in and I got out of my car and walked inside the building. It felt strange. The only thing I was thinking about was him and his affair. I asked myself if anyone in our office knew about it. I felt lost

“morning Andi” Thapelo one of my lady colleagues said with a big smile on her face, I wondered if she knew

Me:”morningThapelo” my voice was hoarse

I walked to my office and got there and threw my bag on the table and cried. Someone opened the door and I wiped my tears

Jake: “uhm morning Andani” that was Jake, my colleague.

Me:”hey” I was not looking at him

Jake:”are you ok?”

Me:”I am fine thanks”

Jake:”you don’t look fine, what is wrong Andani? You can talk to me”

Me:”I don’t want to talk” Jake was a good friend of mine. We worked together in most projects and he was such a darling but I wasn’t about to open up to him…I wasn’t about to tell him about my husband cheating on me with Pearl….that was extra embarrassing and not to mention degrading.

Jake:”Andani”

Me:”I am just not feeling well, been having these headaches but I am sure I will be fine. Did you need anything?”

Jake:”no its fine, I will handle it”

Me:”thanks” he left my office.

I then decided to go to my husband’s office. I was hoping that Pearl was not there, I seriously didn’t want to breathe the same air with that girl. My misfortune…the bitch was sitting at her usual desk. She saw me walking to my husband’s door and hurriedly came to me with a smile on her face. I closed my eyes as I try to calm down…lord please I need the strength not to punch this girl again

Pearl:”I just want you to know that if you decide to do the repeat of yesterday then you’ll end up in prison…this time around I wont listen to him begging me not to press charges and offering me some cash”

Me:”what?”

Pearl:”oww yeah, obviously he didn’t tell you. I was ready to press charges against you but he gave me a call and begged me not to do it and he offered me few grands to keep my mouth shut and he also promised me some great sex” damn it took everything in me not to go John Cena on her. But I didn’t do anything neither did I say anything. I just stumbled across the room all the way to Ria’s office. I got inside and closed the door

Me:”so you talked to her? After everything that happened yesterday you still talked to her?” I was crying

Rialivhuwa:”babe what are you on about?”

Me:”Pearl, she said you begged her not to press charges, you promised to pay her and you also promised her sex?” I was losing my mind here

Ria:”I was trying to clean up your mess ok? You beat the girl up and I didn’t want this whole thing to become public knowledge…do you know what it could do to me? To us?”

Me:”and you obviously didn’t think about that before you took off her penties did you?”

Ria:”don’t you dare ok? Don’t you dare talk to me like that, I am your husband Andani and I am still standing here being your husband so get the damn grip ok? I made a mistake so get overyourself….you cant crucify me for that. I am trying to do damage control for the mess you made when you went all ghetto on Pearl yesterday and in order to do that I have to talk to her”

Me:”for the record…this was your mess ok? You cheated on me and I get blamed for beating up your side dish? So this is all my fault now?” I walked out of the office crying. I quickly went to the bathroom and when I was about to take the turn to the ladies room I bumped into someone. I looked up and it was Jake

Jake:”Andi?” I couldn’t keep it together, I couldn’t hide the pain and the hurt that was written all over my messed up face

Jake:”come here” he hugged me and I cried in his arms.

Jake:”shhhhh! It’s gonna be fine Andani” you know that sound that someone makes when they want you to hear their presence. Someone did that and I quickly pushed Jake and looked at the person behind Jake. It was my husband and he walked out of the room as fast as he could

Jake:”do you wanna talk about it?” I gave him a death stare

Life as we know it

Insert 10

Me: “of course I don’t wanna talk about it, thanks for the hug”

I walked past him to the bathroom. I got there and starred in the mirror. My life was taking a turn that I never thought it would take. I cleaned myself up and then walked back to my office. I tried to work as much as I could, I didn’t want to think about what was going on in my life. Vhusani kept on calling me and I kept on ignoring her calls. I was in no mood for the best friend’s interrogation so I decided not to talk to her. After work I drove straight home. I was seriously in no mood to cook so I ordered some pizza. Rialivhuwa got home just after me. I hadn’t seen him since he walked in on me and Jake….well he didn’t really walk in on us because we were not doing anything.

Me:“I don’t feel like cooking tonight so I ordered some pizza, I hope you don’t mind…the delivery will be here any minute” I said while resting on the couch in the living room

Ria:”and she decides not to cook for her husband” what?

Me:”Ria please we do this sometimes when I am tired so whats the problem now?”

Ria:”the problem is you walking around at work and having men all over you…is that what made you tired?”

Me:”what?”

Ria:”are you having a thing with him?” I was totally confused. I was now sitting at the edge of the sofa because he wasn’t making any sense

Me:”with who?”

Ria:”Jake, I mean a minute after our fight you were already in his arms….is he your shoulder to cry on huh? When I fail he picks up the pieces?”

Me:”what kind of fuckery is this huh? Are you kidding me? You are the one having a thing with your PA Rialivhuwa, you know I h…” I couldn’t finish my sentence because he gave me one hot slap and I fell back on the sofa. I gave him a horrified look….i couldn’t believe that he hit me

Ria:”next time you must watch how you talk to me”

Me:”what?” tears where now coming out. I was seriously petrified as to what was happening, this didn’t look like my man, my Ria

Ria:”I am sick and tired of you acting like you own me Andani, for years I had been living my life listening to your demand and your parent’s demands, I had been doing everything you expected of me...those days are over. You do not tell me what to do anymore ok? You do not get to do as you wish here in my house” I seriously wanted to just die, this was terrifying

Me:”what happened to you?” I was crying

Ria:”Do you want honesty? Pearl happened to me. She is young; unlike you she isn’t my age. She respects me. Which you do when it suits you but I can’t really blame you because I don’t think you parents taught you anything. She lets me take care of things Andi…she lets me be the man…she listens to me and she is more experienced than you…you know what I mean” and with that he walked towards the bedroom. I sat there on the sofa and felt lost.

I must have been dreaming. The churning in my stomach, the shaking of my body, the grinding of my teeth, the echoing sound of his speech playing over and over again, the blurry vision in my eyes as I see everything infront of me disappearing to almost nothing. I sat there like that for a while. I couldn’t even whisper a word. I was still petrified, hurt, tormented. After a long while I let out a scream and I let it all out. I was finally believing that I was not having a nightmare but this was just the reality. I cried as loud as I possibly could. I love this man and I had done nothing over the years than to love him. And this was the results, this was the famous thank you. He ran out of the bedroom as he heard me scream and he stood by the entrance and looked at me without any emotion. I knew right then…my worst fear had finally come to life. He was not in love with me anymore. After a while he walked back to the bedroom. And that reaction alone was enough to send me to my grave. I don’t know how long I spent in the living room but I had to go to bed because it was late but I didn’t want to be close to him. I was scared. So I slept in the spare bedroom instead.

That night I hardly slept. So many things were not making sense. Like why was Rialivhuwa acting so weird for starters. I mean some men cheat on their wives but they don’t react the way he did, they don’t tell their wives openly that they are having an affair…unless they are not in love anymore and they are trying to tell you to take whats yours and leave. The idea of my life without hum scared me to death. I couldn’t face the world without Ria, he has been with me for years and he was like the other part of me. I knew right then that if he wanted to leave me then I was not going to give up easily on him. I loved him and I knew that he loved me too so maybe he was just going through some phase, a cheating phase that was gonna pass and we would be happy again. I desperately wanted to believe that he’d come back to his senses.

I didn’t sleep at all and in the morning my head was already pounding, my eyes were red and I looked tired. So I stood in the mirror and went back to bed. I wasn’t feeling well so I was not gonna go to work. He walked in while I was sleeping

Ria:”aint you supposed to be ready for work?”

Me:”I am not going?”

Ria:”what do you mean not going?”

Me:”I am not feeling well”

Ria:”ok, you must go to the doctor then, I will need the doctor’s note tomorrow”

Me:”sure thing” he then walked out of the room.

Really, I cried because he didn’t say anything about what happened last night, him hitting me, telling me about Pearl and how she makes him happy. So he meant it all, he didn’t regret anything. I took my phone and called my Doctor and made an appointment. I then showered and changed and then drove to the doctor. I didn’t apply any make up or wore anything fancy. I was in my track pants and a tank top…I wore a beanie to avoid combing my hair. I got there right on time for my appointment and went straight in. I told the Doctor about my headache and how weak I was feeling. Well this didn’t require any doctor but I needed the doctor’s note for work tomorrow, I was not sure about Ria anymore so just incase he demand the note then I’ll have it on me.

The doctor took my temperature and my weight and then took the urine test. I sat there for a while looking like a homeless person….i was in no mood for anything and for some odd reason I hated that doctor too. She was a good person, I usually smile and chat with her when I come but on that day it felt like I was sitting in the same room with my worst enemy.

Doc:”wow good news Mrs Mulaudzi, you are pregnant”

Me:”what?” I just got married and my marriage was already a mess, I didn’t need a child, at least not until I sort everything out with Ria

Doc:”congratulations ma’am, do you mind if we do the scan?”

Me:”no…no I don’t want a damn scan…are…are you sure I am pregnant?”

Doc:”yeah I mean these tests are accurate, unless you want us to do another test? Or we can just do the scan to prove it” I looked at her and felt more tired

Me:”scan it is” I said with my most irritated voice.

I lay on the bed and she squeezed that gel thing on my belly and damn I hated it. She then took that machine thingy, I don’t even know what they call it and then I looked at the sonar screen.

Doc:”there, there is a dot…it looks like just a dot for now”

Me:”so that means I am really pregnant?”

Doc:”yes ma’am” she was smiling. I removed her hands from my belly without saying a word and then I got up from the bed and took the toilet paper and wiped the gel off me.

Me:”I have to go?”

Doc:”you will have to come for some more ch…”

Me:”please just stop ok? I just wanna get out of here”

I fixed myself and walked out of that surgery feeling like a zombie. My life was finished. Ria was acting like someone I didn’t know and now I was pregnant. I didn’t even know how I was going to tell him the news and how he was going to take it. We have had conversations about babies a lot but that was before Pearl, at that moment I didn’t know if the baby was gonna bring us together again or drive us further apart.