© Rudzani Thangambi and www.ruustories.co.za, 2018. Unauthorised use and/or duplication of any of my stories without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner (Rudzani Thangambi) is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Rudzani Thangambi and www.ruustories.co.za with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Hollow Hearts
Chapter 1 (Intro)
JANE
I finally arrived in South Africa after my 16 hours flight. I landed at OR Tambo international airport. The last time I was here I was only 5 so I barely remembered anything. I read a lot about this country and every place I was going to go and I swear I felt like I knew the place already. Google earth helped me with familiarising myself with the streets and how they looked like. I shook my head as I thought about the assignment at hand…it wasn’t my first one and it was definitely not going to be the last. I had to play this one perfect. I light my cigarette as soon as I made it out of the flight. I pulled once and then twice and then thrice and threw it on the floor and stepped on it. All I needed was few puffs to help me relax and face the two rascals I was about to meet. So I was wearing my newly bought denim shorts, brown ankle boots, red knee high socks and a brown jersey that was almost longer than the shorts. I had a long Brazilian weave and I tied it up in a messy bun. I didn’t have time to sit in front of the mirror to do my hair. I had no makeup on my face, nothing at all. The only thing I applied was petroleum jelly on my lips. My eyes looked puffy and tired. I had one luggage bag and one back pack. I seriously looked the part I was about to play. I stood in the middle of the hallway as everyone passes. I reached over into my shorts pockets and took out my newly made South African ID. I smiled shaking my head when I looked at the ID. It had my new name and my new age as well. For the next following month they were going to call me Jane Sokhulu. I honestly had no idea what Sokhulu meant or if it meant anything at all. But I’d been told that mom and dad would fill me in on anything else I needed. More info I was going to need for my assignment had already been provided to me. I looked at the photo on my ID and wanted to have a good laugh. It was an old one; I don’t know where they got it from. So my name was suddenly Jane, how can they just decide to call me Jane? A little consultation when it comes to my names would really be appreciated. Who calls their kid Jane during this time and age? God I had to get this done with so that I wouldn’t have to be called Jane for long. Talking about names, I hardly remembered what my real name sounded like. I’ve had many names in the last few years. And the ID said I was 19 years old…wow so I was still a teenager…I had to act four years younger than my actual age because I was actually 23 but it wasn’t going to be hard because my body could allow me to be 19. I put my ID back in my pocket and proceeded to walk. There, where the people wait for those who just landed was my supposed mom and dad. I shook my head when I thought about it all. I smiled as I approached them
Me:” mom and dad” I said with nothing but sarcasm on my voice and a fake smile on my lips.
Terry:” my little girl” I couldn’t help but burst into a serious laugh, hearing Terry say something like that was just a blow
Me:” uhm sorry, you’ll have to excuse me but that sounded really weird” Abigail looked at me with nothing but hate
Abigail:” you do know that we have to play the card right okay?”
Me:” I know that Abigail, there is nothing wrong with a girl having a good laugh a second after meeting her parents…uhm well, I am sorry but you wouldn’t know that would you?” I said going to her with my open arms…she gave me a fake smile and opened hers as well. We hugged
Abby:” so the fucking bitch is back in my life huh?” she said in my ears
Me:” back with the bang” I smiled and broke the hug
Me:” so where is our home?” I said while jumping up and down in fake excitement. This was a front, we had to make this look real and I was trying my best to be the girl who just got reunited with her family after few years
Terry:” I know that the two of you don’t really get along but this is an assignment and we need to do it right”
Me:” you are not my favourite person in the world too Terry, in fact I loathe you but for the sake of this whole assignment I will smile and be the daughter I know you will never have…now if you don’t mind dad…it’s your duty to carry your daughter’s luggage” I said that and gave him my smile. He took the suitcase and we walked outside. Abby and myself were walking hand in hand
Abby:” I know you are going to f*** this up….i don’t know why Zach trusts you so much” she said that with an obvious smile on her face to fool everyone else
Me:” Maybe because I’ve never failed…you know what he told me right before he gave me this assignment? That I am the best thing that ever happened to him since you…I know you are his number one assassin but I am right behind you, one wrong move and I am taking over”
Abby:” but this is different and you and I both know it”
Me:” it’s different how? Just because I was born here? I was 5 when I was taken…do you think I still remember who my mom is? Or my dad? Or my family? matter of fact I don’t think Zach let them live and even if that’s the case, it’s not like I give a s*** because I am an assassin now and killing is what I do….and if given a chance I would choose this life over any other life”
That sounded more like the truth, I actually almost believed it myself but I wasn’t sure if it was really the truth. I still remembered my home, I still remembered my mom and how she cared for me. I still remembered the last day I saw her. It’s been 18 years now but I remembered it like it was just yesterday because those memories were the only reminder that I was still human, they were the only reminder of who I actually was.
Abby:” I hope you are right because this assignment means everything to Zach”
Me:” and you think I don’t know that? Just be my f*****g mother okay?”
I hated Abby. I never got along with her. She is the woman who trained me. She taught me everything that I know today. She wasn’t really a good teacher. Well, I don’t think there can ever be a polite way to teach anyone this life. I still hated her though…she stole everything from me, she stole my humanity and my chance at being a somebody. She forced me to do things I never thought were humanly possible. She got me gang raped at 12; it happened everyday for a week. And her explanation was that I had to learn not to love sex, sex was a weapon to be used against man. She was right, how can you love sex after being repeatedly raped by different men for a week? You loathe it and when you do it you do it with so much anger within you, it becomes nothing but a weapon you use to weaken the man and take whatever you want from them….usually it was their lives. From being raped I had to learn to kill and all the other tricks on the book. I wasn’t alone, there were a number of us and if you were proven to have a faint heart then you were killed. We both graduated at 15 and were given few assignments to test our skills and we proved to be excellent and I had been working for them ever since. As much as Abby was the devil in my eyes…Terry was an even bigger devil….this man raped me…I had lost count as to how many times he did it…I was the thing that quenched his thirst for sex.
Zach was our organisation’s leader…he was a big dog in the business and always had a list of people to be taken out. Some assignments were easy and some were difficult but we always found ways to concur because we had contacts almost everywhere. So I was here in South Africa in an assignment to assassinate one of the Government’s officials who worked for a secret government organisation that dealt with serious crimes against the South African Government. His name was Muneiwa Norman Makungo. He was the best in the business, he had a normal life but underneath his normal life was a cruel government official who had the power to kill whoever proved to be a threat to the government. I am talking about a guy who used to see terrorists before they even reach the country, he got rid of serious drug lords before they could even start recruiting anyone…he never discussed anything with anyone, he just killed them and he was allowed to do so. The government gave him the power to be that person. My assignment was to get him to fall in love with me…I had to get closer to him and find out as much about the organisation as I possibly could and when I have enough I could kill him. It was risky just killing him without knowing the ropes of the organisation so we had to know who else was in charge and how we could destroy the whole organisation before killing him. Zach had big plans for the country and Muneiwa was standing in his way. Muneiwa was the youngest agent in the organisation so that made him a good target.
MUNEIWA
My name is Muneiwa Norman Makungo. I am a 29 years old bachelor who had no plans of changing the bachelor status to anything else. I was staying at Protea Hotel Pretoria central. I’d been staying there for as long as I could remember. I could have bought a house if I wanted but then I was a loner, I stayed alone with no family and I didn’t plan on having a family so a hotel worked out for me. I didn’t have to worry about cleaning or cooking or making my bed…life was good.
I was a University PhD student studying at WITS, and yes I travelled from Pretoria to Johannesburg whenever I wanted to go to school and if I was tired then I would sleep over at whichever hotel around Johannesburg. The reason why I chose to stay in Pretoria was because of the girls. There were variety of them here and you could get them whenever you wanted them…there was fun in Pretoria, I am talking about real fun. Yes I was an assassin of some sort but I needed fun more than anything else, I needed fun to make me feel sane and to get rid of loneliness or the feeling to have someone important in my life. The girls around here provided me with that kind of fun. The whole PhD Wits thing was a front to cover up who and what I really was
I was a South African agent working for a secret organisation aimed at protecting the country against various attacks. My job was to kill those who were suspected to pose a threat to the government. The organisation I work for had all kind of scientists and technicians and I was an assassin who gets the job done. I would be provided with all the information I needed and all I had to do was get the job done. They provide me with endless amount of money…my bank account had more zeros than I could bother to count. That was the price of the kind of work that I did, you get to be filthy rich. As rich as I was….i was driving a vruuu phaaa….i could do much better and buy myself an actual car but hey I couldn’t raise suspicions, I couldn’t call the enemies in, I had to make sure that I don’t attract unnecessary attention.
I was a first year student at the University of Cape Town when I got recruited. I was only 19. I was a straight A student studying Mathematics and I was acing it in Cape Town and that’s when they took notice of me and they gave me a proposal. I had a bursary but they offered me much more. They offered me real money and I was told that I will be helping out the government and that I will be more like a Soldier and will be protecting the country against the enemies, it seemed pretty normal so I accepted. Before I knew it I was made to drop out of school and went to a basic military training and when that was done I was taken to another training in Congo and that’s when I got the training to be who I am right now. I came back into the country when I was 23 and I started with my work. 6 years into the job and I’d never failed. I forgot to mention that immediately after accepting their proposal I lost my whole family….my mom, dad and a brother…a car accident of some sort. Something told me that the organisation was responsible but I never questioned them because they had let me in on what they were capable of and I didn’t want to follow my family.
Once you accept their proposal you are told that life is not as it seems and that you have a much bigger purpose than having a family and having kids…I mean that’s what everyone do. They make you feel special, like you are going to serve a special purpose in the country and that you should let the normal basic people do basic things like having families and you should do the more important and bigger things like working for the secret organisation and saving the country and have the power to kill and not get questioned for it. I won’t lie, being up here was a beautiful feeling, you look at these basic people getting married and working their butt off for little money and having kids and it looks stupid to you….i mean why waste your life running around making babies and telling someone you love them when you could have billions in your bank and do whatever you wanted with the cash and go wherever you wanted and f*** whoever you wanted? Here is the thing about this life though, few years down the road you lose yourself, somehow your humanity just die and you are all about the job. That’s who and what I became…I was all about the job….heartless as f*** and whoever stood in my way learned the hard way.
It was a Friday night and after getting wasted at the bar I came back home with two hotties
Girl” You’re coming?” one of the girl said after stepping out of the shower, I was standing leaning against the wall with a cigarette on my hand.
Me:” let’s wait for your friend now shall we?”
Girl “she will join us, I am sure she don’t mind” she said that and took off the towel that was wrapped around her chest. I smiled and put the cigarette on the ash tray and went to her
Me:” what’s your name again?”
Girl:” Mandy”
Me:” Okay Mandy Mandiliser...show me what you got” I said that and started taking off my clothes
HOLLOW HEARTS
CHAPTER 2
MUNEIWA
Mandy gave me her sexy smile and I shook my head in excitement. I went to the bedside table and took out a box of condoms and threw it on the bed, I then climbed the bed and sat there butt naked and watched her
Mandy:” anything in particular you want me to do to you?” I raised an eyebrow and half smiled
Me:” surprise me Mandy, show me just how talented you are”
Mandy:” game on” she climbed the bed and crawled on her knees all the way to me.
Mandy:” good package right there”
Me:” and it’s all waiting for you” she gave me her crazy giggle and went to me for a kiss but then I looked away.
Mandy:” what?” she was a little bit disappointed…I pointed to my D with my head
Mandy:” okay” there was just something about kissing them bitches, I didn’t like it. I hated the lipsticks and their drunken scent and I couldn’t stop thinking about how many dicks they had sucked so I really didn’t like kissing so I made sure never to do it. Mandy started sucking on it slowly and gently and I breathed as I welcomed the pleasure of it all. Her friend walked out of the bathroom and looked at us and then away and back at us
“Mandy?” Mandy stopped to look at her friend but I pulled her head back to my cock because I wanted her to continue…Mandy didn’t disappoint because she went back right at it
Me:” you can remove that towel so long and come and join us” she smiled
“You’re sure?”
Me:” if you are game…then yes” Mandy was busy doing the deed down there and it was working. Here is the thing about me, this little show was my regular thing and I could go several rounds without getting tired so these girls were about to have the time of their life. The other girl climbed the bed and crawled to us.
Me:” come to daddy”
I said that and groaned lightly. She came to me and while Mandy was sucking on it big time I grabbed the other girl’s breasts and sucked on them. Well you might ask yourself if I’d done threesomes before….The answer will be yes I had done three and foursomes and I was always the only man in the room. Sex was not supposed to be boring or predictable, it had to be fun and spontaneous and doing it with different women whenever I wanted ensures that I get a different kind of experience every day, it never gets boring…never. The sensational pleasure from the head I was getting from Mandy and the arousing feeling I was getting from sucking her friend’s boobs made me all kind of crazy. I got drunk in the moment and forgot every fucking thing. It was just me and my bitches and it felt so damn good. Mandy changed her rhythm and she came on to me faster and faster. She was rubbing at the foundation of my cock and her tongue doing the nasty at its tip. The other girl on the other side had small boobs and even though I loved big sizes, the smaller size was also working just fine. At some point I grabbed her boobs with my teeth and she would scream a little louder and the sound of her voice was doing unexplainable things to me. I could feel the rush of blood and my body finally feeling alive. I decided to let it all out and I panted and groaned a little louder as the juices erupted from my manhood. I sat up on my knees and Mandy was only happy to open up her mouths and sucked on it….damn I groaned even louder and laughed slightly because of how her tongue made me feel as she sucked in the semen coming out of me. I pushed them girls away and threw myself on the bed and smiled. These two were good…actually they were great. I breathed looking at their smiley faces
Me:”My turn?”
“Yes please” the other girl said. I grabbed her and threw her on the bed and quickly opened up her legs
Me:” Mandy prepare yourself for the biggest f*** of your life” I said that and gave them my usual giggle and muffed Mandy’s friend.
JANE
It was Friday evening and I was sitting alone in my room. I just arrived today and it was boring already. I needed a little excitement in my life. Abigail and Terry were just a pain in the ass and I didn’t want to deal with them, especially when we were in the house alone with no one watching us. My room was painted with a pink colour and had pink bedding. I don’t know who was crazy enough to decorate it like that. I had a wardrobe full of clothes and there were few photoshopped family photographs of me with Terry and Abigail. I threw myself on the bed and thought about my assignment. I had access to the hotel’s bar 24 hours surveillance cctv video on my laptop. So I just watched Muneiwe taking two girls to his suite like he had done almost every day. I spent the last three months studying the guy and by this point nothing he did surprised me. He didn’t have much of a life apart from the excessive partying, drinking and women. I had also gathered that he had never dated anyone in his life….he had never have a girlfriend, it’s always been different girls every now and again for him. So I knew that the assignment was going to be hard, how do you make someone like him fall in love? Especially when you are me because I for one had never been in love. I’d never had to pretend to love anyone. I had played all kinds of roles and most of them involved posing as a drunken slut in a bar or a whore who sells herself for a living or just an escort girl and that’s all easy. But then being in a relationship with someone? I had never had to repeat having sex with anyone else and here I was expected to have several sexual sessions with this guy. I never told anyone this but the whole thing seemed a little bit impossible and too much of a challenge. I didn’t tell anyone because I didn’t want to appear as a weakling. As hard as the assignment was going to be, failing was no option, I couldn’t prove Abigail right. She would go on and on about how I got distracted because South Africa was my home. I had to plan how my first meeting with him was going to be like and then I also had to plan a second one. Hopefully he was going to fall for my tricks and not let me fight harder for this to happen or otherwise he was going to see through me.
I looked at the ceiling and tried so hard to fight something I had been feeling ever since I landed at OR Tambo. It was a sense of belonging, I felt like I was finally home, I felt that I belonged here and that feeling scared me. It’d been years since I left the country and I never set my foot back here again and one day back into the country and I was feeling emotional. It never happened to me, I had always been a heartless little bitch but sitting here right now made me to think back to when I was just a toddler. I couldn’t remember the name of the township I come from but I could see it in my eyes, I could see my mom too. I closed my eyes and shoved the thoughts at the back of my mind, I had a big assignment to deal with and I couldn’t afford to be weak
MUNEIWA
The following morning I woke up at 5am like I did every morning. I woke up the girls
Mandy:” what?” she said in her sleepy voice
Me:” time to leave” I said that looking through the closet for something to wear. I took out my blue tracksuit pants and a blue vest
Mandy:” now?”
Me:” yes now Mandy” I started getting dressed. Mandy’s friend looked at Mandy and then back at me
Girl:” Uhm are you taking us home?” the f*** is home?
Me:” home? How the f*** am I supposed to know where your home is? ladies last night was great and now it’s over….it’s about time we get back to business and if you want to do this again then you can show yourselves up at the bar again tonight and we can have a repeat but right now I need to get back to my life and you should get back to yours” they gave me their little sad faces and I rolled my eyes and opened my safe. I knew those little faces and I had seen them a 100 times before and once they start looking at you like that then you don’t f*** them again because it means that they are catching feelings. I took out a stake of cash and threw it at them
Me:” that’s for your transport home…now get dressed and leave. And please forget about showing up at the bar okay? I can’t be seeing your little sad faces again tomorrow morning”
Mandy:” but we had a great night”
Me:” yeah we did” I got dressed quickly. They got out of bed and got dressed too
Mandy:” you don’t want my cell phone numbers?” I put my left hand on my head and sighed
Me:” Mandy please I need to be out of here by 05:15 and you guys should be out too” they quickly got dressed and walked to the door. I walked to them and opened the door for them with my famous ‘goodbye and never come back’ smile
Me:” bye bye”
Mandy:” uhm bye” I closed the door just after they stepped out and I breathed.
I locked my room and went to switch off my laptop and went to my emails. There was no project yet and I guess that was good news…the country was safe. I closed the laptop and wore my black sneakers and walked out of the room. I locked the door and ran down the stairs. I never used the lift when I was doing my exercises. So this was my routine. I jog every morning all the way to the gym and I get there and do few exercise routine and jog back to the hotel. I got out of the hotel, put on some music, put my earphones on and started jogging. I didn’t see her coming but I was just about to take a left turn at corner Vanderwaldt and pretorious street when I bumped into someone and they fell. I took off my earphones and looked at the person I bumped into and it was a girl. She was also jogging
Me:” oww s*** I am so sorry” I said that giving her my hand so that I can help her get up but she didn’t take my hand, in fact she looked pretty pissed. She gathered her phone that was on the floor and she tried to get up but she fell right back on the floor again. The f*** was this? I wanted to laugh at her but I didn’t want to make her more angry plus it would have seemed rude for me to laugh so I went down on one knee and tried to balance her
Me:” I am sorry okay? Are you hurt?”
Girl:” you bumped into me with your stony body so what do you expect?” I wanted to laugh at the ‘stony body’ but I couldn’t…the f*** was a stony body?
Me:” I said I am sorry”
Girl:” and your sorry is supposed to fix this?” she was wounded at her left elbow
Me:” I am really sorry, we can go back to the hotel and I can apply first aid on you” she rolled her eyes dramatically
Girl:” what? is this a trick of yours? You push girls around so that they fall and then offer to take them to a hotel for some sex? Or maybe you are one of those guys who are abducting girls huh?” what? How did this conversation get to this?
Me:” wow you are more dramatic than I thought” I said that while getting up and felt defeated, I didn’t know how to help her. She tried getting up and this time around she succeeded
Me:” what the f*** are you doing jogging this early anyway? Isn’t it a bit dangerous for a girl?”
Girl:” and not dangerous for you I guess” she said that and started jogging off and I stupidly started following her, she stopped jogging and looked at me, I stopped too
Me:” one more step towards my direction and I will scream” I looked at her in complete shock…seriously this girl had serious issues, I looked at her and couldn’t help but laugh
Girl:” you don’t believe me?” I put my hands up in defeat and turned around and jogged to a different direction
JANE
I kept jogging and wondered if it worked at all and if it planted a little seed of something more. At least he saw my face and hopefully he was going to remember me in the evening because I was about to make sure that he sees me. It was a Saturday and on Saturday’s he hung around at the bar in a hotel because it was quite busy with lot of ladies as well.
I forgot to mention that my fake family was renting a three bedroom flat here in Pretoria central and the idea was for everyone to have their own room. I got home and threw myself on the sofa. I had to make sure that I capture his attention tonight or else the 3rd encounter would make him a little suspicious. You always have to be careful with guys like him…they over think every little thing because they know that not everyone is as they appear to be. I was well aware that once he gets to know me he would look me up and it was the reason why I had my fake family with fake jobs and fake everything because I had to appear normal.
That evening I got ready for a night out. I wanted to wear a very short dress but I didn’t want to look like his regular girls, I had to look a little different from the rest so I opted for a long tight dress that went just below my knees. I was not really tall and I was a slender but I had a little bit of curves and no ass at all. The whole ass thing didn’t bother me much, we can’t always have everything now can we? I wore my dress and a pair of black heels. The weather was warm so the dress didn’t need anything else on top….the dress was one of my best ones and it looked good on me. Whoever did shopping for me knew my body very well. When I was done getting dressed I styled my Brazilian weave and applied make up on my face. The dress I wore was a long sleeved dress and I looked fine in it. I took my little purse and put my phone, lipstick and some cash inside. I walked out of my room and found Terry sitting alone in the lounge
Me: “our target is at a bar and that’s where I am going”
Terry:” play it cool” I rolled my eyes
Me:” is that your good luck?”
Terry:” maybe”
I shook my head and took the car keys from the table and walked out of the house. They bought a Polo vivo for me so that’s what I was driving. I drove to the hotel and got in and parked my car. I got out of my car and went to the bar. I was alone without a friend. It was a little weird for a girl to be out alone and that reminded me that on my first day at College on Monday then I needed to make as many friends as I possibly can so that I can appear normal. I got to the bar and sat next to a girl who was sitting alone
Me:” hey” I said with a smile
Girl:” hi”
Me:” out alone?”
Girl:” my bestie just scored herself a man” I giggled
Me:” well you and me are the same…how about we roll together?” she smiled
Girl:” good by me” I smiled and raised my index finger at the barman signalling for him to come to us
Barman:” ladies”
Me:” Tequila”
Girl:” I will have Martini”
I was still smiling at the girl when I sensed that someone was behind me, I turned around and found him standing there with the cutest smile in the history of smiles. I forgot to describe how Muneiwa looked like. He was not really handsome but he was okay…he wasn’t dark skinned but wasn’t a yellow bone either so he was kind of in between, he was definitely tall and had a body to die for…he was sexy and it’s no wonder he was able to change girls like underwear. He had short hair cut that definitely looked good on him and the hair was obviously not combed and he had no beard at all…he was clean shaven. He had pink lipsticks and I guessed it was because of kissing these endless bitches everyday
Me:” your smile is really creepy” I said to him with my straight face on
Muneiwa:” are you a comedian of some sort?”
Me:” okay I am confused, do we know each other?” God I was acting
Muneiwa:” you are the girl from this morning…we bumped into each other while jogging and you threatened to scream if I jogged into your direction” I raised an eyebrow
Me:”you definitely got the wrong girl, I have no idea what you are talking about” he smiled
Muneiwa:” if this is a game then I say game on”
Me:” still have no idea what you are talking about” he put his hands up in defeat
Muneiwe:” you look cute by the way” he said that and was about to turn around and walk away
Me:” cute is what you tell an ugly girl before you sleep with her as a way to make her feel better about herself” he laughed out loud, he gave me a serious laugh and I still gave him my serious face
Muneiwa:” okay you look beautiful”
Me:” lovely would also work just fine” he laughed again
Muneiwa:” okay you are lovely too” I smiled
Me:” okay that was enough convo with you Mr stony body” that just finished him off
Muneiwe:” I will definitely get you for this” I turned around and looked at a friend next to me and ignored him. I smiled realising that this was going to be like taking a candy from the baby. Muneiwa came to my left and called the barman
Muneiwe:” charge their drinks on my bill my brother…give them whatever they want” he said that and disappeared into the crowd.
Girl:” you know him?”
Me:” I think I am about to” we looked at each other and smiled
Hollow Hearts
Chapter 3
Britney – Make me….that’s the song that was playing at the club. It was a slow grown up Jam and people seemed to like it.
Barman:” I guess you heard the guy, you can order whatever you want and it’s on him” the girl close to me giggled in excitement
Me:” well, you’ll give us whatever we want but it’s on me”
Barman:” but he sa-“
Me:” he wasn’t talking to me but to you…I will pay for everything I am drinking with my friend over here” he opened his mouth to talk but I put my finger up to stop him
Me:” you don’t want me to talk to the manager about this do you? I could tell him that you are selling me to some strange guy for booze” the guy blinked
Barman:” uhm that won’t be necessary, you can pay for your drinks and I will let Muneiwa know that you declined his offer”
Me:” good” I dawned everything on the glass
Me:” give us two more” I then looked at the girl
Girl:” pride huh?”
Me:” ow yeah…I am Jane by the way and please don’t judge my name…my parents were both drunk when they named me” I was laughing
Girl:” I am Gudani”
Me” nice to meet you Gudani and I hope we will have a nice time together”
Girl:” you’ve just saved me from having the worst night of my life, I will make sure to enjoy this” the barman brought us our drinks
Me:” thank you” I opened my purse and took out some bank notes without counting how much it was and handed them to the barman
Me:” we will drink until we are fine and you can keep the change, if that happen not to be enough then let me know” I was sure that the money was going to be enough even though I didn’t count it because it was several R200 notes
Girl:” what do you do for a living again?” she said that taking a glass and taking good sip
Me:” let’s just say that even though life never loved me…money does” she frowned a little and then smiled
Girl:” whatever the hell that means” we laughed and drank
Me:” so what do you do?” she put the glass on the table and turned to look at me
Girl:” I am a student…doing Civil Engineering at Lalini South College here in central” I laughed out loud
Girl:” what?” she was a little confused
Girl:” don’t tell me that you hate the college” I drank my whole glass and looked at her
Me:” the thing is I am a new student there, I am starting on Monday” Gudani laughed too. We stood up and hugged each other in joy
Gudani:” are you for real?”
Me:” very much real and you’ve just become my best friend, we should exchange numbers too”
Gudani:” oww yeah sure” I took out my phone and we exchanged numbers.
I don’t know if it was because I never had friends or if it was because I’d only been surrounded by colleagues and people who were not real towards me. I mean all my life I’d never had a friend. Even the girls who I had worked with or who I got trained with, we never became friends because you never know who to trust and after graduation we both went our separate ways and it was hello work. I was happy to be with this Gudani girl. We talked about general things, she told me about the college and how it was. She told me about the boys at school and the lecturers and the plastic girls who dated lecturers. We kept on drinking and talking. We were like long lost best friends. She asked me about where I was coming from. Answering that question wasn’t easy so I told her that I was from DRC but then stayed in Malaysia for a while and now I had moved to South Africa because my parents were here. I laughed so hard throughout the night and we kept on calling the barman to give us more booze. Finally her friend came over to us and asked if they could leave. Gudani asked me if I was going to be okay by myself, I laughed a very loud laugh and told her that I was okay. I was actually drunk. Getting drunk wasn’t part of the plan…the plan was to be here and for Muneiwa to see me and then disappear after a while. He had noticed me already so there was no need to stay long but I did stay long and I got drunk and I loved it.
I was left alone sitting on the barstool and it wasn’t fun anymore so I decided that maybe it was time for me to leave. I took my purse and stumbled through the tables. My purse fell and I bent down to take it but then I struggled to do that and ended up falling. I laughed so hard and when a guy close to me tried to help me up I cursed him and told him to leave me alone. I then managed to get up with the help of tables of course. I held my purse and walked through the crowd and all the way outside the building. I got to the parking lot and could hardly see which one was my car. I stumbled and fell over other people’s cars as I look for my car. I finally found it and smiled in excitement. I stood with my back against the car while I look for my car keys in my purse. There was generally nothing in the purse except for some cash, lipstick and the car keys but then even so…it took me a while to locate the keys. I finally got them and I screamed in celebration. I unlocked the car and was about to get in when someone grabbed my hand. As drunk as I was, I felt sorry for whoever was trying to hijack me because they were about to have a beating of their life…I turned around to take a look at the asshole who was trying to take chances….i got the complete shock of my life when I saw Muneiwa. I involuntarily smiled
Me:” ow you” I said that and tried to snatch my hand away from him but he held me tighter
Muneiwa:” the f*** are you doing?” I laughed
Me:” uhm…I am getting in the car, what the f*** are you doing?” I said that and snatched my hand from him again and unfortunately this time around his grip around my hand wasn’t tight so I lost balance and almost fell but he caught me
Muneiwa:” wow you are bad”
Me:” you have no idea just how bad” I slurred. He took the car keys from me
Me:” what the hell?”
Muneiwa:” come…you’ll leave tomorrow morning…come, you need some rest” even in this drunkard state, my mind was still working. I remembered the assignment and knew that leaving with him was going to work on my favour. The whole thing was coming together perfectly well
Me:”but-“
Muneiwa:” no buts” he said that and carried me in his arms and walked back to the building with me. I knew that this was a win, I finally got him right where I wanted him. He went into the lift and all the way to whatever floor. I was too drunk to check which floor he went to. We got to a suite and he put me down and unlocked the door.
Muneiwe:” get in”
Me:” how do I know that you won’t abduct me?” he shook his head
Muneiwa:” too late to ask that” he pushed me inside and walked in after me. He closed the door behind him. From what I had gathered about the guy, Muneiwa was many things but he was not a rapist or a criminal who could just kill me or abduct me…he lived by a code and the code was his job. So that little information is what made me relax and be certain that I was safe.
Muneiwa:” you can sleep over there” he pointed at the bed. I didn’t bother looking around; I just threw myself on the bed.
Muneiwa:” f*** girl not with your shoes on” he rushed to me and took off my shoes.
I heard him doing a little bit of walking around the room and then the door opened and then shut and then silence. So he left me inside the room. Even though I was drunk, I was tempted to wake up and start looking around for something but then I wasn’t sure if he had the cameras around the room. I didn’t want to get caught before the assignment even start because that would be the end of me. Yes that’s something I failed to mention. My whole life depended on this assignment. I was good at my job and this assignment was going to prove just how good I was or if I was just a liability that needed to be removed. I had to prove my worth and to prove that I didn’t care about my roots or who I really was. This was about my loyalty to the team. Zach knew that this was my home country and he knew that I might get distracted so this was the big test and failing might meant death. If I fail then it would means that I was still human and all this time I’d been pretending to everyone so I couldn’t risk failing.
MUNEIWA
Something was terribly wrong with me. The way I rushed over to the parking lot to ensure that the girl don’t drive home while drunk and the way I carried her to my room. Well, I decided not to over think it….it’s not like I was the devil himself so I was capable of doing good and this was the proof. I went to the bar and called Jeffrey the barman. I was a permanent resident in this hotel and the bar was my regular hangout spot so all the barmen knew me
Me:” Hey Jeff” I said with a smile, Jeff didn’t look too happy
Jeff:” hey”
Me:” you serve them? The girls I mean?” He scratched his head
Jeff:” she didn’t let me”
Me:” the f*** do you mean she didn’t let you?”
Jeff:” she told me that she was paying for their booze and that she’ll report me to the manager if I d-“
Me:” f***…which one said that?”
Jeff:” the one on the red dress”
Me:” that b***” I hit the bar table with my fist and Jeff backed away a little
Me:” I am sorry I am jus….well this never happens”
Jeff:” I know…I was shocked too” I frowned looking at him
Me:” scotch” he nodded and poured me one short and I downed it
Me:” thank you Jeff” I took out some bank notes and gave him
Me:” that’s your usual tip”
Jeff:” thank you” I left the bar and went back to the room. I couldn’t take any girl to my room because I had that slender little ungrateful s*** in my room. I was pissed actually. No one ever says no to me…no girl refuses alcohol from any man, especially not from me. I got to my room and opened the door. She was sitting on the bed. I closed the door and stood against it
Me:” you paid for your drinks” I said with my tired voice
Girl:” is that a crime?”
Me:” now is not the time to be cocky”
Girl:” give me my car keys I wanna go home”
Me:” you are not getting them and you might as well get into bed” she looked at the bed and then at me
Girl:” this is not funny”
Me:” I know that…now get to bed because I won’t even let you out of this room and no, you are not about to scream in my damn hotel room because I won’t let you” there was authority in my voice, she looked at me with her little angry-looking face and got into bed. Her little angry face was much better than the sad faces of bitches when I tell them to leave my hotel room in the morning. I silently laughed at my comparison.
Me:” you can relax, this is a hotel room and not a flat so the bedding is clean” she didn’t say anything but just got inside the blankets and slept.
Girl:” don’t even think about it”
Me:” think about what?”
Girl:” joining me into bed, make a plan mr stony body…a couch or the floor, either way I don’t care…as long as I don’t feel your stony body close to me” I looked at her in disbelief and the shittest pat was that the b*** wasn’t even looking at me
Me:” this is my room”
Girl:” and you brought me here against my own will so if you think that you’ll get something out of this then forget…I am not the type to get drunk and sleep around”
I wanted to curse her but then I couldn’t because I was impressed by her. This girl was drunk and she could hardly walk but then even after that, she couldn’t let me near her…let alone do anything to her. So I shook my head and took my laptop. There was an email from Jean….I had an assignment and there was a flight ticket to Sri Lanka the following morning. There was a man who needed to meet his maker as in yesterday. I replied on the email saying that I saw it and that I will get the job done. There were few attachments on my email with the usual hangout spots for the man, his hacked email address and passwords, his house, family, associates and work. Basically the email containing identity of the person to be taken would include everything there was to know about the person so that I could know how to approach them and where to find them. So the technicians did a lot of digging before contacting me. It was always the case, I always had to read the documents and make sure I understood what the project was about.
So I opened the documents one by one and read them. They all contained information about the man. He was a terrorist of some sort. Even though he wasn’t directly linked to South Africa, he was posing risk to Malawi and with Malawi being our neighbour, someone had to take a stand and it was us. The organization thought it would be better to eliminate the man now before he causes the damage that might affect South Africa too. I went through all the documents for about three hours and when I was done I looked back at the girl on the bed and she was fast asleep. I switched off my laptop and stood close to my bed with my hands on my hips and looked at her. There was a little bit of lipstick on the white pillowcase and it didn’t make me angry. In fact I was fascinated by her. I stood there and looked at her and couldn’t take my eyes off her. Her hair was all messed up and some of it covered her one eye. She looked beautiful…I wanted to sleep but my feet were glued to the floor and my eyes glued to her. She started moving and I quickly turned around and looked away because I didn’t want her to see that I was starring at her. After a while I slowly turned around to look at her again and she was still sleeping. I breathed and realise that she was just turning. I punched myself on the face and laughed a little. I felt stupid…why was I doing this in my own hotel room? It was really insane. She looked the opposite direction and I ran to the other side and still looked at her. She started moving again and this time I didn’t try to hide because I thought she wouldn’t wake up but unfortunately she did and I felt shity. She quickly sat up and looked around the room; I think she was a little confused. She then frowned and looked at me
Girl:” ow s***”
Me:” hi” I said with a little wave, I was embarrassed
Girl:” why were you looking at me like I am an intruder?”
Me:”looking? Me? No” she rolled her eyes and got out of bed
Girl:” play time is over I need my car keys please”
Me:” how do I know that you are sob-“ she said nothing but just stood on one leg with both her hands in the air.
Me:” ow”
Girl:” yeah I am sober, now I need my car keys”
Me:” uhm okay” her keys were still in my pocket. I took the keys and handed them over to her
Girl:” goodbye”
Me:”no thank you? I saved your life” she breathed
Girl:” okay thank you”
Me:” your name?”
Girl:” we are not friends” she said that and walked out of my room. I ran after her and stood at the door and watched her disappear into the passage. I walked back to my room and shook my head
JANE
It was all working out and it seemed so easy I could hardly believe it. The way he stared at me when I woke up was just something else. I smiled alone as I got into my car. The sooner he falls for me the sooner I finish the assignment and leave the country and go back to much simpler projects. I thought to myself as I started the car. I drove back home and it only took me about 10 minutes to do so because it was in the early hours of the morning and there was no traffic. I got to the flat and parked my car at the parking and went up to our flat. I unlocked the door and walked in. I had my shoes on my hands when I walked and was walking bare feet. The lights were off so I went straight to my room. I switched on the light and there lying on my bed was Terry with his crazy face on. He was awake….it was early hours of the morning and he was supposed to be sleeping. When I realised that he wasn’t sleeping then I immediately knew what he wanted
Me:” Terry” I said that with my brave voice. I threw the shoes and the purse on the floor
Terry:” been waiting for hours”
Me:” we don’t have an appointment” he laughed and I knew that laugh all too well
Terry:” wow… So you’re gonna act all brand new? Since when do I need an appointment?”
Me:” Terry you are supposed to be my father…so get out of my room” he shook his head
Terry:” that’s just for show and you know it all too well” I stood in one position and couldn’t run from him.
There is one more thing I forgot to mention. Being a woman or should I say the girls like myself in this organisation didn’t have much of a say. We didn’t have a say and couldn’t complain to anyone about anything because when we do complain then we were given an ultimatum to either die or continue living the life we were living. Some tried to run and it never turned okay. We were forever reminded that we were nothing short of abductees. They always reminded us that freedom was the luxury we didn’t have and will never have.
Me:” I thought we are over this” I said looking Terry dead in the eye. I wasn’t weak and no matter what happened in the past I never let the men made me weak. I’d been raped more than I could bother to count and Terry was one of the men who raped me and not even Zach could rescue me…he didn’t even care actually…he felt that women were supposed to be used and that we are just sexual beings and should be used in whatever way men see fit.
Terry:” I just have to remind you just how awful men can be so that next time you meet our target you’ll up your game and we will get this over and done with sooner” showing weakness was giving them too much power. That’s all I believed, no one taught me that but I’d just realised that being afraid and crying and acting like you are afraid gave them more power and pleasure so I never used to do that….I was done being scared. He got out of bed and walked to me. He went behind me and started kissing the back of my neck. I turned around and hit him hard on the face
Me:” this is not happening” I wasn’t about to sleep with him without giving it a fight…I knew he was going to win but I couldn’t just stand there and let him rape me. He grabbed my hands and I kicked him on his cock and he let go of my hands. He tried to come back on to me but then I took the photos on the bedside table and threw them at him
Terry:” Ayanda stop!” he screamed and I didn’t stop…I took whatever I could find and threw it at him.
Me:” my name is Jane…call me fucking Jane” he laughed
Terry:” you are Ayanda…Ayanda is the girl who lost her innocence to me”
That hit to the core and I was so weak I wanted to break down and cry and ask him why he was still doing this to me after all these years, I wanted to know why he enjoyed hurting me but then I didn’t want to look weak, I didn’t want to give him more power so I charged at him and grabbed his neck and tried to strangle him. He grabbed my hands and tried to remove them from his neck and I couldn’t let him. We went several seconds fighting and finally he managed to remove my hands and I pushed him back and ran for the door but then he grabbed me and I pushed him. He fell on his knees and grabbed my feet and I fell on my face. I swear to God I felt like i blacked out for a while
Me:” Terry stop”
I wanted to put the word ‘please’ before ‘stop’ but that could only prove that I was vulnerable and desperate. If he was going to rape me again then I was going to make sure that I don’t give him what he wanted…he wanted a weak woman to cry and scream when he rape her but I was going to be the toughest bitch he’d ever met. After falling I knew I couldn’t fight anymore. I looked out the door and I noticed Abigail standing there. She looked at him as he pulled me further inside my room and folded her hands on her chest
Me:” Abigail”
I called out her name and she didn’t say a word or do anything to show that she heard me. Terry helped me stand up and I have no idea what time he took off his trousers but then he ripped the dress apart and didn’t bother taking off my underwear but he just moved it aside and thrust inside….i closed my eyes and silently wept…on the outside I kept quiet and my thoughts took me back to the first day I was raped…Terry was the first one to do it. I opened my eyes and looked at Abigail and she just walked away without saying a word.
HOLLOW HEARTS
Chapter 4
I don’t know how long it took but he finally came and groaned holding me tighter. I felt like vomiting by then. We were standing in the middle of the room with me bent down and him banging on my behind. He then pushed me forward and I fell on my face, he then took a towel that was on my bed and wiped himself and then walked to the door
Me:” so that’s it? All that fighting was for this?” I said with my head still on the floor and my voice was hoarse and sounded tired
Terry:” what?” there? That reaction is what I wanted. He had hurt me way too much and this was the only way to hurt him back
Me:” I mean, is that it? I don’t know if your cock grew smaller or my hole just grew wider but I felt absolutely nothing, I kept on hoping and waiting for it to finally reach the spot but it never did…I wanted to give you fake screams and fake orgasm but it wasn’t worth it”
I felt the sound of his footstep as he charged at me. I was still lying on the floor with my torn up dress. He picked me up and looked at me…I gave him my wicked smile. You know that wicked smile you make when you know you have nothing else to lose? I had lost everything and at this point I knew that Terry had nothing to take from me anymore
Terry:” what did you just say?”
Me:” you know what the best thing is? You won’t kill me because Zach will return you the same courtesy and I guess you don’t wanna die now…I mean even the small-dicked ones wanna live right?” he hit me hard on the face and I fell. I coughed and laughed at the same time…I touched my mouth and I had a little bit of blood coming out
Me:” you should know better than to do this to me…I am immune to all this s*** Terry, how long do you think I’d keep crying? The only thing I am scared of is dying and that’s the only thing I know you’ll never do”
I said sounding all cocky…he walked to me and was about to kick me with his left foot but then he turned around and walked away in anger. I slowly got up and went to close the door and locked. I then fell to the floor and sat there for what seemed like years. I couldn’t bring myself to start crying about being raped or being beaten…that was my life and as painful as it was…I couldn’t cry about it anymore because I was tired of doing so.
After a very long time I got up and went to the shower. I don’t recall how long I stayed in there with cold water dripping over me but then I finally decided to take a shower and by the time I got out of the shower it was already morning. I went to my bedroom and locked the door and decided to have a good nap. I received an sms before taking the nap saying that Muneiwa was out of the country to Sri Lanka and was coming back on Tuesday. My informant tracking Muneiwa told me. Him being out of the country only meant that someone was going to die. I didn’t care about any of that though, all I wanted was some rest and with Muneiwa out of the country, I could gladly do so. I woke up from my nap and when I checked the time it was past three in the afternoon. I slept the whole day. I got out of bed and could hardly stand up straight, my whole body felt tired. I guess it was the drinking and the activities with Terry this morning. I looked at myself in the mirror while I was wearing my Blue underwear and my white vest and put my hands on my hips and breathed. I was proud of this little body, no matter the kind of torment I had to endure it never gave up on me and for that I looked at myself with a smile when I realised how long I’d come. 18 years later and I was still standing, I never thought I’d make it and for that reason I was going to make sure that I keep surviving and I would keep fighting to stay alive. My breath was the only thing I had, the only thing I hold dear and I wasn’t going to give up breathing, I wasn’t going to do anything that would put my life in danger. I was going to survive like I had done for 18 years.
I walked out of the room looking like that….bare-footed, panty and a vest. I really had nothing to hide….Both Terry and Abigail had seen me naked more than I could ever count and I was sure as hell that they weren’t gonna be phased by anything. I was hungry, like awfully hungry. I ran into Abigail as I was going to the kitchen and she was coming from there, she just looked at me and frowned
Me:” You can say it bitch” I said that while I pass her
Abigail:” you seem to have enjoyed it” she said while she proceeded to walk
Me:” it’s too small, I hardly felt a thing” I said a little louder and shook my head…I was way too stubborn and it made me laugh.
I went to the kitchen and opened the fridge…it was a double door fridge and it was awfully full….there was basically everything in there. I took out enough sausage for one person, lettuce, tomato, onion, cucumber and a salad dressing. I closed the fridge and put the sausage in the saucepan and put it on the stove, I then switched the stove on. I prepared myself a green salad and then took two slices of bread and buttered them. i then finished with my sausage and put it in a plate with the green salad on the side and two slices of bread. I didn’t bother going to sit down, I ate while standing there. When I was done I put the plate in the Zink and walked back to my room. I ran into Terry on my way
Me:” morning Terry” I said with a little bit of smile
Terry:” morning” I walked to my room and let him go about his business. I don’t know how I did it, I had no idea where I got the strength to deal with things this way….i got to my room and locked the door. I laid on the bed and played music on my phone
Monday morning it was my first day at college. As much as this was an assignment but this was really my first day at college, like my very first day at an education institution. Terry made sure I got accepted into college and he provided them with all the required documentation. I didn’t have a grade 12 or been to school at all…the only school I knew was the one where Zach was the principal. They taught me everything I had to know….the whole thing was more like homeschooling, but we didn’t do the basic education thing…no, I was taught to read and write and was given books to read in order to practice the skill of reading. As I started working on the assignments that’s when I learned more things about the world we live in. I could be anything, as long as I was given documents to read about it before hand then I could master whatever character was required. So I never went to a real school. As for Civil Engineering that I was going to study, I was given background info on the course so that at least I would know what it was all about. It wasn’t really the beginning of the year; the school had opened more than a month ago so I was going to be a little bit behind with my modules. The whole school thing was to make Muneiwa see that I was a normal girl. Terry and Abigail drove to their fake jobs and I drove to school. I wasn’t going to see Muneiwa at all because he wasn’t back until tomorrow so I was free off him. I got to school and parked my car at the drive way and got out. I was wearing a black jean, a white blouse and a black sneaker. I was trying not to be fancy, it was enough that I was driving myself to school, I didn’t want to make it worse. I wasn’t happy to be there, even though I never went to school the idea of it seemed stupid and I didn’t like it. I stood there leaning against my car and called Gudani. She asked where I was and I told her. Few minutes after the call she appeared. She was with another girl. Gudani was a big chubby girl who looked good in her clothes and her make-up
Gudani:” hey” I smiled
Me:” hey you” we hugged
Gudani:” you have a car?” I smiled shyly
Me:” I told you that money loves me” she laughed
Gudani:” uhm Jane this is my friend Mmbengwa, Mmbengwa this is our new friend Jane” Mmbengwa smiled and waved at me and I did the same to her
Me:” so what’s happening? I have my class time table in the car and it says the first class starts at 9”
Gudani:” yeah and don’t worry about orientation, I will do all of that when we are free” I smiled
Me:” thank you”
Mmbengwa:” come…we were sitting at the back and I have to introduce you to everyone” I followed the girls.
MUNEIWA
I finally landed back in South Africa. The trip to Sri Lanka was short and straight to the point. I did what I had to do and the organisation was once again happy and proud. Something had been weighing up on me ever since I left the country. There was a girl I couldn’t forget, she was all over my mind and I kept on seeing her face every time I blink. I don’t know what it meant but all I know is that I felt like I was sick. I suspected that maybe the fact that I didn’t get to sleep with her was the reason behind all this. I also got my Private Investigator to follow her up and told me what she’s been up to. She hasn’t done much since I left the country. All I had was her picture from the hotel cctv footage. With that picture alone…our organisation’s PI managed to give me everything I needed to know about her. She was nothing but normal…a first year student in college who just started studying recently. She flew in all the way from Malaysia to come to stay here permanently because her parents were both working this side. Maybe the fact that she was new in town is the reason why I’d never seen her before. I was going to make sure that she doesn’t sleep around with the predators here in Msanzi. I don’t know why I felt obliged to protect her but I did. The PI told me that Sunday she spent the whole day at home and Monday she went to school and then a little bit of shopping and then today she was at school. She was never spotted with a guy and I guess that was great news.
I landed at around three in the afternoon. I drove to Pretoria in a rush and when I got there I asked the PI to tell me what the girl was up to and I was told that the girl was eating out with her three friends at Nandos. I drove to Nandos on Van der Walt Street and managed to get a parking on the side of the road. I also saw her little car parked there as well. I didn’t know what the whole thing meant or what I was doing…I never had to follow girls before but all I knew was that I wanted that girl in my bed like I had wanted every girl in my bed and managed to get them into my bed. Sleeping with her and f*****g her senseless was the only way I could get rid of this little madness that was going on inside my head. I needed a good f*** and I guess the fact that she slept in my room for few hours the other night without us doing anything was playing the part in this little charade. All I wanted was to have her to myself for one night and the little craziness will dissolve into nothing. I walked into the restaurant and looked around. There, at the far corner of the restaurant I spotted her sitting with three girls. I walked towards their table.
Me:” hey ladies” I said to the girls as soon I got to them. They all smiled and said “ hi”
Me:” uhm I hope you don’t mind if I steal your friend for a second” I said and looked at the little girl I came for
“Of course not” one of the girls said.
I looked at Jane and she didn’t look happy and I didn’t understand why. I got her name from my PI. Wasn’t I charming enough? No man I was as charming as they come, I mean every damn girl in this town had fallen for me and none of them had said ‘no’ so questioning my charming abilities was out of the question, there was just something wrong with her. If she didn’t like me then something was really wrong with her. She got up and I walked out of the restaurant hoping that she was following me. I stood outside and waited. She walked out and looked around a little bit; she saw me and walked towards me. I found myself nervously smiling, the f*** was wrong with me? It’s just a girl…she was just an assless little thin girl and I didn’t have to be nervous around her
Me:” hi” I said that and leaked my lower lip
Girl:” hi” see why I was nervous? The girl didn’t even have something as little as a smile on her face, no smile at all; she looked like she was angry with me
Me:” you look beautiful” she raised an eyebrow
Me:” and lovely” I said that and giggled nervously. She was wearing shorts, ankle boots and a long-sleeved t shirt that looked a bit bigger for her. It wasn’t really her finest look but I needed something to say to her
Girl:” thanks” she said looking at herself and then back at me…it was as if she didn’t believe what I just said
Me:” you really are beautiful” she blinked and then looked away and back at me…I had no idea what that meant…was she tryna blush or what?
Girl:” still thanks”
Me:” uhm…well…I was just wondering if we can do something together sometime? I mean I wouldn’t mind having you over to my room again” I gave her my usual charming smile that always work to all the girls without me having have to try
Girl:” no” she said the word while shaking her head
Me:” what?”
Girl:” I said no” okay something must have gone wrong because girls never uttered the word ‘no’ towards me
Me:” b…but why?”
Girl:” because I am not going to be one of your girls okay? I know you take few to your hotel room every night so I am not going to join the pack” I rubbed my nose with my finger in frustration
Me:” what? Who told you that?”
Girl:” the girls you chase out of your hotel room every morning” I put my hands in my hips and blinked
Me:” but…uhm…w…we can do something different” she raised an eyebrow
Girl:” can you even do something different?” she said sarcastically and I felt the edge to prove to her that I could do something different
Me:” yes…we…we…we can hang out, just hang out” I said the words out without even giving myself time to think about what I was really saying. All I wanted was for her to say yes. I don’t know man…the more she rejected me the more I wanted her. Maybe because I’d never have to beg before. As for the ‘we’ that I managed to use? Well, something was terribly wrong with me
Girl:” uhm I don’t know”
Me:” please Jane” she looked at me with her eyes wide open
Girl:” how did you know my name?”
Me:” it doesn’t matter…dinner tonight and I will come pick you up at your place” she was totally confused
Girl:” dinner yes but picking me up no”
Me:” okay I will sms you the address”’
Girl:” you have my contacts?”
Me:” will tell you all about it tonight” she turned around and walked away.
I wanted to scream and jump in excitement. I stopped myself before I could do any of that. I asked myself why I was so happy. I stood in the same place and cursed myself for what I was about to do. This was a damn date…damn I was taking a girl to a f*****g date and I hated myself for it. I didn’t know what was going to come next but something told me that something was coming and my bosses weren’t going to be pleased. I mean I could have let her go the moment she said no to hooking up but then I went on and on and proposed a date. Well, nothing should happen. All I have to do was convince her to end up in bed with me and it would be bye bye Felicia. I just wanted to know and feel what was so special about her and I would be done.
HOLLOW HEARTS
Chapter 5
JANE
After my encounter with Munei I went back to the restaurant and the girls were on my case about him. They wanted to know where and how we met. So I told them about the first day I actually met Muneiwa. That wasn’t a lie; it was really my first time meeting him in person other than reading about him. They all cheered excitedly as I told them about the evening at the hotel. Gudani knew a little bit about the night because that’s when I met her. So I even told them about the incident in his hotel rom. They were envious and looked happy. I felt good, sitting there and talking about a guy with girls for the very first time was a great experience. I know I said I hated this assignment at the beginning but I was beginning to like it. I had enjoyed other assignments before so there was no reason for me not to enjoy this one. Enjoying it was going to make me more effective anyway…I thought to myself as I sat around the table with my supposedly friends.
Later that evening I went home. I got to the flat and Terry and Abigail were sitting in the lounge watching some program on TV. As much as I hated their guts I had to give them feedback on the project and how it was going. I went to sit in one of the sofas
Me:” uhm I managed to score myself a date with our target” Terry and Abigail smiled
Abigail:”when?”
Me:” I am not sure yet, he said he will send me the details…it looks like he looked me up because he knows my name and I didn’t tell him and he has my contact details as well”
Terry:” don’t worry about it, he will never find anything dodgy, everything is covered and you appear very normal at the moment. Even if he checks your history at Malaysia, you have all the information that one might need”
Me:” but I have an ID and not a passport”
Terry:” because you are actually a South African and spent most of your time in different countries and one of them happen to be Malaysia…that’s what he will find on the system…he will find out that you were born in South Africa and moved around with my fake mother” I breathed
Abigail:” we have gone over this with you before” I rolled my eyes putting both my hands on my thighs and stretched a little
Me:” I know…I just don’t want to mess this up…this is a big assignment”
Abigail:” as much as we are not happy but Zach trusts you and I guess he has a good reason to” I stood up to walk to my room but then I turned around and looked at them
Me:” you are all aware that I’ve never been on a true date right? I mean I am good at charming a man and getting him into bed and all that sluty s*** but how do I handle being a normal girl and do dates? Like what am I even supposed to wear?” I was being honest
Abigail:” you have a smartphone and I am quite sure that you can afford buying data so find out from the net or try watching some chic flicks movies” I rolled my eyes again and walked away. I had watched romantic movies but movies didn’t really portray real life experiences, I mean it can’t be the same as the movies.
It was late at night and I was busy searching some useful info about dates on Google when my phone beeped. I took it and checked the message, I didn’t have friends except for the ones I just met in school recently so usually when my phone rings or beeped then it was usually business. So I thought it was something that had to do with work when I realised that it was an sms from an unknown number. I opened the sms and it was Muneiwa. He gave me the name of the restaurant, the time and the address of the restaurant. We were going on a date tomorrow at 8 in the evening. He suggested that he will come pick me up but I replied and said that the agreement was that there won’t be picks up. He replied with an okay and that was it. Muneiwa was playing at the palms of my hands; I had him right where I wanted him. I had to make sure that I impress him so much so that he would see no reason not to date me. I wanted him to ask me to move in with him as soon as possible so that I could find out whatever I could about him and then kill him.
The date night finally arrived. I rushed back home from school that day. I wanted to make sure that I was ready on time. I’d rather be early than late. When going on a first date, most girls worry about whether the guy would like them or not, well I was also worried about the same thing although it wasn’t for the same reason as all the other ladies. I desperately wanted Muneiwa to like me because my life literally depended on it. I got home and went straight to my room. I went to the shower as soon as I got home. I got there and shaved my underarms and my legs. When I was done shaving I got into the shower and took a very long shower. I was not in a rush. When I was done I went to my bedroom where I sat on my bed and took my hair straitner and styled my weave. I then went to my closet. I was not sure about the outfit, I had different ideas about what to wear and it was all confusing. So I took out about five outfits and fit them all. After what felt like ages I finally found something that I decided on. A black flare cocktail home coming dress with white flower petals at its lower part. The dress left a little bit of a cleavage and even though I had small breasts the cleavage looked fine. The dress was just above the knees and I figured that it couldn’t work with high heels so I took out a pair of my gold pumps and wore them. I took my gold purse and put everything I was going to need for the evening. I then sat down and applied my makeup. I didn’t apply anything hectic because I didn’t want to look like a ghost or to feel uncomfortable throughout the night. So I applied as minimal make-up as I possibly could. By the time I finished my makeup it was already past 7. I couldn’t believe that I took so much time to get ready for the date. I was not one of those girls who spent hours getting ready, 15 minutes was usually enough for me but for this particular night I took my time. The whole time while I was getting ready I kept on praying that the whole thing better work out because I couldn’t handle losing. When everything was done I left the house and drove to the restaurant that Muneiwa told me to come to. I left the house at half past 7.
I got to the restaurant and was shocked to find that there were no cars at the parking lot. I looked around wondering if I was at the right place. I looked over to the building and the lights were on and it was open but there was no one inside. The only car I spotted was Muneiwa’s car. God why were we here? I mean if this restaurant was empty then it only meant that the food were also not good. It was one of those fancy restaurants that only high profiled fellows eat at. I got out of my car and walked towards the building. I got to the entrance and peeped inside and I saw no one but the lady who was wearing an outfit that looked like a uniform and that made me conclude that it was the restaurant waitress, she also had her name tag on her chest
Me:” uhm…sorry I think I am lost” I said that turning around
“Are you Jane?” I turned and looked back at her again
Me:” yeah that’s me” I was a little bit disoriented
“Then you are not lost…come” I raised an eyebrow and walked in. the restaurant was awfully quiet and the tables were empty. The girl realised that I looked a little bit lost and smiled
“Your table is over there and yes the restaurant was booked for the evening” I took a deep breath and looked over at the table and almost had a mini heart attack. I couldn’t believe that this was happening. I couldn’t believe that Muneiwa prepared all this for the little old mini me
Me:” it’s for…”
“You and him yes” I gave the girl half a smile and walked over to the table.
There were rose petals scattered on the table…a white table cloth…a bunch of flowers with my name written in a very big font on the card, a bottle of Champaign and two glasses. I took the bunch of flowers in my hands and my hands started shaking. My hands shook because I was…well I was…well I don’t know….was it because of fear or excitement? I don’t know. All I know is that in my entire little life I had never had a man take me out on a date, let alone book the whole restaurant for me or get me flowers. Even though this was an assignment, Muneiwa didn’t know that it was an assignment, he was doing this from the bottom of his heart. He was doing this because this evening meant something for him. Muneiwa walked in from the back. He smiled shyly when he walked towards the table
Muneiwa:” you came” there was relief in his voice
Me:” yes I did” I was actually speechless. As much as this was supposed to be all fake…it seemed so real
Me:” you did this?” I said looking around the restaurant so that he can understand what I meant
Muneiwa:” I wanted privacy” I breathed hard
Me:” thanks for the flowers” I said that and put them on the table close to ours, he looked at the flowers and then back at me
Me:” I won’t forget them don’t worry” he smiled. He came and pulled a chair for me
Muneiwa:” you can have a seat”
I smiled nervously and sat down. I am good at my game people, I was very good at my game but this right here was a little bit too much to swallow. How do you act when someone was showing you genuine feelings of appreciation towards you when you’d never had anyone act like that towards you before? Muneiwa was happy and appreciated my presence and even though maybe he wanted sex as a price but this was the best I’d ever got. I’d offered sex to men for something much less than all this. I’d only been good for sex and my assignments usually involved sleeping with strangers and that’s easy stuff for me…it was easy than feeling this special. He sat opposite me. The girl who welcomed me at the door came to us…the name on her name tag was Melissa
Melissa:” good evening Mr Makungo and Ms Jane…would you like anything at the moment?” so Muneiwa gave her my name
Munei:” the Champaign will be fine for now...right?” he looked at me for approval
Me:” yeah right”
Melissa:” just shout if you need anything, I will come back and check up on you shortly” she said that and walked away. I wondered how much he could have paid to pull this off. I looked around the restaurant and still couldn’t believe that this was me
Muneiwa:” I figured that we can have some Champaign as we get to know each other”
Me:” yes of course” I was freezing; it wasn’t because it was cold but I was still in awe over the length he went to just to make this evening special.
Me:” you know my name and you have my contact details, how did that happen?” he smiled, I was trying my best to hide the nervousness and sound casual
Munei:” I know the right people Jane”
Me:” that’s not enough” he took the bottle of Champaign and opened it
Munei:” if this works out then you might know all about it one day” I smiled
Me:” fair enough….so you know everything about me?”
Munei:” just enough” he poured the Champaign into the glasses and handed me one. I took the glass and took one sip and put it back on the table
Me:” so tell me about you” he relaxed on his chair
Munei:” please before I answer your questions just bare with me if I say something that I am not supposed to say…I mean I’ve never done this typa sh…uhm thing before” I laughed and wanted to tell him that it was my first time too but he wouldn’t understand so I kept that to myself
Me:” you wanted to say shit?” I said while laughing…he sipped on his Champaign
Munei:” uhm actually yes and I am sorry”
Me;” it’s okay I get it…so what do you do?” he had no idea how much I got it, like I really really understood. I had the answers to the question already but I had to make this look normal.
So we talked, smiled and laughed together. I found myself feeling light and laughing for real without faking it. I enjoyed dinner with Munei and he looked like he was having a good time too. We ordered food and ate as the conversations flows. I lied most of the times because I had nothing real to talk about, especially when the conversations involved friends. He didn’t lie to me about anything except his other job…he told me that he didn’t have friends and that he didn’t date, he said his parents died few years ago and that he enjoyed his own company and that it was the reason why he didn’t have friends.
Me:” so what’s this? What does it mean?” i asked when we were drinking the Champaign after the meal
Munei:” do you want the truth?” I looked at him straight in the eyes
Me:” yes”
Munei:” I don’t know…all I know is that I’ve never done it before and right now I feel like I want to do it again” my heart jumped
Me:” wow” he smiled
Munei:” soo…next time maybe?” I smiled and nodded. Of course I was gonna want a repeat of all this because I wanted him all to myself
Me:”so…the girls you change almost every day?” he laughed and looked away
Munei:’ what about them?”
Me:” do you also do this with them?” he smiled and shook his head
Me:” why?”
Munei:” they’ve never said no to me…something that you did and I thought that maybe you wanted this” this is the direction I wanted the conversation to take
Me:” so this is all to get me to bed?” his smile faded
Munei:” what? Of course not” he wasn’t happy anymore
Me:” how can you convince me otherwise then? I mean you are the player of the town” he frowned and looked a little bit uncomfortable and frustrated
Munei:” okay we can do this for as long as you want Jane, we can go out every night and do whatever you want and there won’t be sex” I laughed because I thought he was joking, I mean this nigga slept around with different girls all the time, I didn’t think that he’d want to go out on a date again and not want something more. I stopped laughing when I realised that he wasn’t laughing and looked rather serious
Me:” you’re serious?” he looked at me with a very serious face
Munei:” I’ve never wanted something so much in my life” he said that and got up
Me:”and now?”
Munei:” I have embarrassed myself enough for one evening…date is over” he looked angry. He said that and left me sitting there and he walked out. I gathered my purse and finished up the Champaign on my glass and followed him outside
Me:” Muneiwa what’s wrong now?” he was standing at the parking lot with his hands in his pockets. I forgot to mention what he was wearing for the evening. He looked kind of sexy. He was wearing his grey faded skinny’s…it wasn’t awfully tight though, a knitted grey cardigan sweater that was buttoned up to his chest…the sleeves of his sweater were rolled up a little, The shirt underneath the sweater was check and grey but I could only see the collars. He also wore the brown combat boots that just completed the look.
Munei:” Nothing is wrong Jane I am jus…well I enjoyed the evening and I hope you enjoyed too”
Me:” I did but you don’t look too happy right now”
Munei:”you don’t have to worry about me” he said that walking to my car. I don’t know what was wrong with him, I seriously had no idea what was going on. I unlocked the door and he opened the door for me. I looked at him before I could go in. he looked at me
Munei:”I am sorry to be acting this way…I meant it when I said that this is all new to me and somehow I am failing to deal with my own emotions” he was angry at himself for liking a girl. I wanted to smile but I kept my straight face. He got to me and opened his arms with a questioning look. It was as if he wanted my permission. I nodded and he gave me a hug
Munei:” thank you for a beautiful evening Jane…you looked really lovely and I kind of ran out of breath when I first spotted you but I decided not to talk about your looks because that would have pushed me into wanting something you are not ready to give me yet. You gave me a beautiful evening though…I’d choose this over anything” he whispered all of that in my ears during the hug. I felt my insides churning guys; I’d never felt anything of this sort before
Me:” even the girls?” I whispered back
Munei:” they can’t even come close” I found myself melting into a smile. He broke the hug and signalled for me to get into the car
Lol ey
ReplyDelete